Is there anything better than drinking, joking and laughing with like-minded folks? Perhaps someone will mention the “c” word-you know ‘cintercourse’. But I feel that at the very least it’s better than the opposite-being dehydrated, seriousing and thousand-yard staring with people. American Thanksgiving in The Canada is a fantastic time if you have the wherewithal/foresight to grab that day off. Look at me over here-I’m actually aching for a turkey sammich slathered in mayo and topped with fresh cracked black pepper and best of all… NO FAMILY OBLIGATIONS ATTACHED TO SAID SNACK. I’m living the dream up here, baby. TO THE GAME!
REDACTEDS/GIANTS: How to write a game intro without doing any homework whatsoever. Here goes… That New York team surprised the crapola out of everyone last week by stealing a game from the faltering Chiefs last week in a game sponsored by an heroin overdose. I was on the edge of my ottoman because my self-worth is tied up in the Giants fortunes…still. No, I don’t know why. Apparently the D had a players-only meeting where everyone stepped up and blamed each other for the lousy performance the week previous and that made things all better. The O is still beyond atrocious, I mean somebody by the name of Roger Lewis was the go-to wr! After tossing another four players on the Injured Reserve pile this week the Dacteds now have a total of 15 guys residing there. I kinda feel sorry for Chris Thompson. He’s a guy that really stepped up and made plays when other play-makers got hurt or dropped the ball (stares at Terrelle Pryor) and paid the price for being way over-used and is now done. Hey Samjae Perine, you’re the next guy up!
Let’s do the thing that we do down below.
The Last Jedi, starring Carrie Fisher and some chick that looks just like her.
I saw her do a one woman show a few years ago.. I enjoyed it. Also, I hope I someday get to the point where I can just talk and have people give me money.
You wanna be a phone sex operator?
Who doesn’t?!
That’s not really still a thing is it?
Kinda, yeah.
So what’s the kinda current rate?
So…politics?
Captain. Dingleberry. EVERYBODY!!
That’s officially known as an “oopsy”.
Wow. Just….wow.
FUCK THE PUNT TEAM GO FOR IT YOU BETA CUCKS
It would be awesome if he became an awesome defender and obtained a doctorate because the ISLAND OF DR MOREAU
I would like Orleans Darkwa way more if he did a series as Darkwa duck
Too bad Jordan Howard isn’t still playing.
It only works if dangeruss is the qb.
Do you think QBs go down easier for JPP because they’re all like EEWWWWWW, get that nubbin off-a me!!!
I went to a cold Redacteds game last year! Turns out I prefer not freezing my titties off!
Totes serious…
Even a century ago, how did this guy not get killt in grade school?
We’d have kicked the shit out of him when I was a kid.
This pic is in a book I own, also found it awk-WARD
He was homeless fo a while, and even people who served with him in WW1 thought he was kinda off
They didn’t make him a messenger for nuthin’.
he didn’t really have any army buddies, ’cause he didn’t like booze, cards, or women
FUN FACT!
The Washington monument has an aluminum foreskin, made back when aluminum was way expensive.
I verify this fun fact
I can’t wait for Brick to steal it.
I also stole a construction sign from over the fence at CIA Headquarters in Langley. This too was in the middle of the night, my preferred time for such activities.
Please don’t drink if you ever find yourself visiting certain Asian countries, ok?
You know what’s great about Samaje Perine? He’s not Captain Dingleberry. Fatty Gruden now considering this.
Catalina Wine Mixer!
(I just felt like saying that)
It’s cool I was gonna look up boat pictures.
I thought it was an obscure Pacific Coast sex act.
Thank You FOAR Your Service!!
/we all felt liek saying that
FUCK FUCK FUCK. The Spray Painted concrete that is FedEx has eaten Moses.
Oh unwelcome penetration, we can’t have Moses injured
– Mrs. Moses, cutting a deal with the Pharaoh.
Well fuck. And not a good, satisfying, consensual fuck.
Well, she did move close to Hollywood.
that was MOAR “disinterested back alley handjob” quality right there
Captain. Dingleberry. EVERYBODY!
What is Texasman?
They have armadillos in Florida, too.
That will be the mascot for when the Chargers inevitably move to San Antonio.
I work for a government contractor, so don’t expect me to make efficient use of your tax dollars tomorrow.
eh fuck it, I would have gambled it away anyhoo
You guys pay taxes?
Hmmmmm, I might have to look into that.
Preach!
You know what I like about you guys? None of you are enough of a psychopath to hold power in any incarnation of Russia. I love that about y’all :DD
Or of the United States, speaking for myself.
I like me some Jamison Crowder, glad he got over his fubaroo for the time being.
Looks like the Redacteds have an insurmountable lead.
You were saying?
Whooops! Thinking only of NY offense, didn’t take into consideration the NYG defense/Cousin’s ability to fuck up.
Absolutely insurmountable.
The Giants had a worse week than Harvey Weinstein because Ben McAdoo was accused of visual assault by thousands of people watching the Giants on their television.
He also ate a Georgetown co-ed’s ass on the way to the stadium today.
We no can haz moar Uncle Ed?
tWBS haz teh sadz now.
No. He only comes out for holidays.
/counts days until Xmas
Me too. Makes the family get-togethers exciting. Especially my in-laws.
And he has a name like a 1920’s Vaudeville radio show host.
Captain Dingleberry can has ONE fucking TD, at least. Give yourself a hand, Mister $24M
Good movie. Perpetuated stereotypes though.
First half – excellent.
Second half – meh.
Just like the Cowboy’s 2017 season.
I bet there are Asian hookers involved with that as well.
Well done.
Aaaand…now we’re back to Hitler.
I know he tried to capture the frustration and confined area city fighting in the Battle of Huế, agreed that he didn’t quite pull it off.
Stereotypes have some basis in reality for certain things.
Wow, that puts me in the Subic Bay time machine.
Vin Diesel is the highest paid guy in Hollywood. He can afford to do a Jumanji remalke.
I prefer the original.
Fun fact: Malk is a REAL product. They sell it at Fresh Thyme.
And now the Weaselo family is debating which WWII era dictator was the worst!
D: All the above.
This is accurate, but being that my grandfather’s family had to escape the Russians he has a special hatred for Stalin and the Soviets.
Can I vote? I vote for Stalin.
Say what you will about Stalin, the man was pot committed to being a fucking dictator.
And if he wasn’t such an evil prick, we probably don’t win WWII. That’s a good post-dinner convo starter.
They did take it on the chin to consume a considerable amount of German manpower during Barbarossa.
Hey, THEY started it!!!!! I was only committing local genocide before that.
– Uncle Joe
YUP. To stop Hitler, the Allies absolutely, positively needed somebody willing and able to suck up a lot of ded fuckers on their own side. You think Murrika would have stood for those kind of personnel losses? HA! England was too fucking small. Only Stalin, until we had the bomb, which we were probably too racialist to use against fellow whiteys (or at least in drifting range of Allies, a fairer argument – I do think it was justified to use against Japan, but it should have been used v. Germany to save Russian lives as well, had it been ready in time).
I still say any Rus leader would have done the same. That’s basically been the Russian strategy for all time. It’s old fashioned, it would have been the same with any leader.
Scorched earth has been their MO for centuries. But that strategy was necessary.
Doesn’t matter who’s in charge of the Rus, they swing the Eastern Front. And anyone else in charge, the heroes don’t get purged in the next 10 years. Also, 9/10 times “pot commited” is just an excuse to keep doing something dumb.
Would anyone else have been willing to absorb the inhuman amount of casualties like Stalin did, though? Another leader could have made life much less comfortable for Churchill and FDR, and who knows where that leads.
I’ll say it again, just in case you didn’t read it below. YUP. This is a normal feature of Russian life. You throw humanity at the enemy until winter fucks em good. Any Tsar would be proud and take the credit. Stalin differentiated himself only in killing his own people in bulk in peacetime. His wartime exploits are mundane in the extreme.
Fair point. I am not a great military historian by any stretch of the imagination.
No one here is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1mt-3guVJlQ
That is best one yet. Is there a Stalin series?
There almost has to be, no?
Wait…curling returns in February?
/reschedules annual accidental winter death
But there’s Olympic curling!
I noes! That’s why I’m delaying!
I was hoping when it came time for Trump to pardon the turkey, he would have instead said “fuck that shit, fry that bitch up!”. He’s said stupider shit.
“Hillary would have been bad, very bad for turkey. That’s why I hired Michael Flynn. Great guy, the best guy for turkeys”.
Naw, he only executed the Turkeys that Obama pardoned
dumber shit in 1 year than the guy who had Alzheimer’s (by family accounts, likely for the last 5 years, at minimum) said in all 8
How long would these sides have to play before somebody got to 20?
Does your clock keep geologic time?
I’m a dirty girl! (Like, I really need a shower)
Just don’t do it with Golden Tate.
You took your handle back, Buddy?
Yeah Uncle Ed saw a black quarterback lose a Thanksgiving game and got so excited he had priapism.
Live look in at my office:
Jesus, you’re still there? Where do you work, an Indonesian sweatshop?
Television operations center. Here for another 7 and a half hours
While you’re there, could you do us a favor and cut the feed to this game?
Thanks.
If you were in a certain market segment, I could. But then that’s more work for me.
Only a single little tablet on your desk? Must be nice.
What is a JV NFL catch?
oh, Dacteds are back
Those views of D.C. remind me:
Many years ago, I stole a flag from the Washington Monument in the middle of the night.
There had been flags encircling the base of the monument for over a hundred years at that point, tied on with a standard flagpole cleat. A week later, they installed lock boxes on the poles, which are there to this day.
I still have my flag, all these years later. Here’s a photo I took hostage-style to prove it:
I have never before been prouder of a Commentist Party member, comrade!
Hustle, you haz it!
You are the change we want to see in the world!
Outstanding!!!!
I knew I liked you.
Didn’t have to kneel to take it.
After extensive research, I have uncovered the origin of “Dilly Dilly”. It’s apparently an ancient Inuit phrase that loosely translates to “hangover of death”.
Really? I thought it was an underground Victorian prison phrase that translated to “I’m open to rough anal rape”
Note to self: Nevar say “Dilly Dilly” to Dok.
Well, nevar again, at least.
*Looks at bottle of WIld Turkey*
*Looks at self*
*Mixes weak 101 and soda*
Heeeeey guys!
Better 101 and soda than 101 and 151. Yeesh.
Let’s not be too hasty. I’d try a 126.
PFFT FLOATING POINT ERROR
NERD!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah, I don’t need any 125.5
My friend bought me a 252 for my birthday last year. It was the second-worst thing I have ever drank. I did not finish it before throwing up at the bar, and could not pick my head up when I was driven home.
The worst thing I have ever drank is french vanilla Soda Shaq.
Ole Miss guy just scored long TD and crouched and lifted his leg like he was taking a piss in the end zone.
24-6 and Cowbells have no QB, twas a safe penalty to take. They showed the QB whose foot falled off earlier, and he made a sad/mad face about it.
Sad clanga? Sad clanga.
teh saddest
I am liberated to raid the ciders! Kid has ride home from work! Yay fancy Samuel Smith cider and Johnny Reb Landsharks!!
The saddest part is how much Dak, about as decent a guy as you can be while still being a member of the Dallas Cowboys, paid for that horrible plaid getup. Just….wear a solid blazer with a fun bowtie, or pinstripes with a solid bowtie. Or pretty much anything else. Oh honey, you look ridiculous
The Don Cherry collection is out early this year.
The only kollege class he attended was Cam Newtons fashion design. It was in a goodwill sorting room.
Proving that, even though there is a broader range of fashion available to the African-American gentleman, there is still a goddamned limit.
Why do I get the feeling Dungy wants to bite my finger off and steal my wedding band?
I took the bullet to finish this bottle of wine. I’m doing all right.
I need to drink more. Not this second. I mean in life.
I have the exact same problem, only totally the opposite.
Should I refill my bourbon in sympathy? Imma refill my bourbon. In sympathy.
Whiskey shots!!