Your “Round, Round We Go” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Have you ever googled yourself and discovered that you share the same name with a second-tier Canadian entertainer that has a huge on-line presence? Me neither. Why would anyone bother to do that? That’s just silly. I hope that the smarter among you have had the bestest post-Thanksgiving treat that has ever existed. What’s that? The beyond delicious, mayo-heavy turkey sandwich with a glass of milk. (sponsored by Joe Flacco’s Elite Treats) Man, that’s good eating. Anywhoo… TO THE GAMES!

NO/LAR: I think today’s table begins and ends here. So very interested to see how this one plays out. The Saints almost stumbled vs. the Dacteds last week but got it done in OT. The Rams ran into a Vikes team hitting on all cylinders right now and caught the L, 7-24. How they bounce back-if they do-will be very telling because division-wise they’ve got the Seahawks just one game behind them.

Sea/SF: Well, speak of the devil(birds)! Those fantasy fellers that stuck with te Graham through those first four scoreless games of the season have been rewarded with 7 TD’s in the last six games. Seattle’s secondary has been shot through with injuries of all kinds but I can’t see qb Beathard doing much about it. That’s not necessarily a knock on him because he’s working with the likes of Robinson, Taylor, Goodwin and Kittle in the passing game. “Who?”, you ask. “Exactly!”, I respond.

Den/Oak: This could have been a barn-burner with huge implications for the AFC West but it’s not the beginning of September anymore, is it? Now both teams are sorta playing out the string and Denver is looking to see what they have in Paxton Lynch. That they had to dumb down the offense for him doesn’t speak very highly of his future prospects. But he’s Head Horsey’s guy so he’s got that going for him.

Jax/Ari: Is this the week that the Jags are good? It’s so hard to keep up…

Fiddle-dee-dee down below.

 

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Spur

The Donks have made hippo sad. Fuck your river Hippo

...

If the Chargers somehow surge into the playoffs and SOMEHOW make the Super Bowl and SOMEHOW win it, do they have the only championship parade in which no one shows up?

ballsofsteelandfury

That will happen as soon as the Browns make the playoffs.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Do the palisades of corpses that BOLTMAN will line the streets with count as attendants?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I feel like the Raiders might be the worst 3rd and short team in NFL history.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I hate money. It’s terrible.
Gooooooo RAMMMMITT!!!!!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Heheheheh, relax.
That was just mah double reverse jinxing attempt.

But perfect response, fwiw.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Ah, Rich Gannon. Million dollar arm and a five cent head. Also, analysts have serious questions about the valuation of his arm.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Oh baby I got a Canuck feed. The Shaw guy goes, “Can you hear me now, eh?…. Because I am standing on disputed First Nation land and I wonder if the ghosts of their past a ruining my reception, y’know?”

Fronkenshteen

So LA is as filthy as China now?

ballsofsteelandfury

Well…

Brick Meathook

Do you know why CBS keeps showing bumper shots of Farmers Market and The Grove shopping mall? Because they are both literally right next door to CBS in Los Angeles. That’s lazy even by L.A. standards.

ballsofsteelandfury

Yup. Can’t even be bothered to go to the beach…

laserguru

Yeah, where’s the stock B- roll footage of the Santa Monica pier?

ballsofsteelandfury

I feel embarrassed for Canadia with that national anthem they just “performed”.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Nobody kneeled!

Dunstan

Canadian cops are more into “tossing natives out of the car to freeze to death” than “shooting black people in the streets.” It’s a subtle but crucial difference.

The Maestro

Yeah I have no idea what the fuck was going on there.

Senor Weaselo

If everyone sings The Star-Spangled Banner in 4 when it’s in 3… do they sing O Canada in 5? Or is that just the Rush version?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Just sing the fucking anthem, you hipster blockheads,

Dunstan

+1 (*9/5)

Spur

If the Cowboys can’t win then RAMMIT, vikes or clippers

Spur

Donks lick hairy man ass

ballsofsteelandfury

With Dingleberries.

Shogun Marcus

Oops! All Dingleberries!

Fronkenshteen

So you’re saying I shouldn’t have started Devontae Booker over Rex Burkhead with my season on the line?

ballsofsteelandfury

At this point, Zuerlein is gonna open up a chain of Mexican restaurants…

Fronkenshteen

Should the hole open, does D. Booker have the speed to pop a long one? Asking for a friend.

Gratliff

I appreciate Rammit doing a good. Now if people would stop fucking around actually beat the Vikings.

Spur

/Throws 9 volt

ballsofsteelandfury

Referees with the soccer team pose!!

ballsofsteelandfury

I love hearing French at a football game!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bought a refurbished iPod classic. I intend to do this until I die, unless Apple wises up and starts making them again.

I don’t want a phone without the cellular capability (which is the iPod touch) I want a big, sterile box that holds a shit-ton of music and nothing else.

Brick Meathook

Anybody know if the Grey Cup is broadcast in the U.S.?

ballsofsteelandfury

EsPN2

Dunstan

A.k.a “Le Deuce”

JustStopDude

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjfpvw37hCc

You tube stream there eh….

Senor Weaselo

We’re looking for Maestro sightings, right? He’d be the upside-down one.

Fronkenshteen

Sooooo….brees’ arm ded?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

For three days, at least.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Fuck you owners, I love your empty seats.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They don’t care. They gotz that sweet TeeVee money.

ballsofsteelandfury

Disagree, if that was the case, why not lower prices to fill the house?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Arrogance maybe?
Lots of those seats are sold, just not filled.

If interest wanes in the pocket book, they’ll adjust.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bwahahahaha

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Fronkenshteen

Division game.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

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ballsofsteelandfury

Do you think they call the guy in that /scorpion show “Shitbreak” during down time?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fuck Talib, but more importantly, fuck Goodell for not punishing Talib for instigating shit the first time.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Empty Seats Galore Twitter completes me.

ballsofsteelandfury

Do share. That stuff gets me hard.

Fronkenshteen

I got such a gangster lean going in my easy chair that my cat is laying on my face.

The Maestro

Grey Cup kicks off in a little over half an hour… Already snowing like crazy. Beer is $10.25 CAD. Fuck it all. It’s gonna be a fun night!

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Shogun Marcus

I hope your ounces convert better than the currency!

ballsofsteelandfury

I got cold just looking at that picture.

herodotus450

When did they move the game to Brisbane?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m drunker than I thought.

ballsofsteelandfury

No, I think HE is.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well I hope at least one of us is.
Somebody needs to get some enjoymentz.

ballsofsteelandfury

LOOK AT THAT CROWD IN LA!

...

♫ Sing us a song, you’re the Schiano Man ♫

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Raider sweater wearing guy ain’t getting any Christmas squank tonight.

ballsofsteelandfury

Poor RTD…

ballsofsteelandfury

For geographic funsies, I present realignment for when the Raiders go to Vegas:

Desert Division: LA, LA, Vegas, Arizona
Mountain Division: Seattle, SF, Denver, KC
Fat Division: Minnesota, GB, Chicago, Indianapolis
Food Division: NO, Tennessee, Dallas, Houston
Florida Division: Miami, TB, Jax, Atlanta
No Hope Division: Cincinnati, Charlotte, Baltimore, Washington
Rust Division: Detroit, Buffalo, Pittsburgh, Cleveland
New Division: NE, N.Y., N.Y., Philadelphia

theeWeeBabySeamus

Maybe consider swapping Philly (cheesesteaks) and NEW Orleans.
But otherwise, I’m down.

King Hippo

Hey, CLT is not a “no hope place” lots of banker asshole money

theeWeeBabySeamus

Good point. But they could go into the Fat Division and Chi**** go into No Hope

herodotus450

Cleveland NOT in the No Hope DIvision? Put down your division charts and follow me into this concussion tent.

Dick E. Phuck

Most of the rust teams can also go into the no hope division.

...

Wife: (turns ignition on brand new luxury car and sees 1,000 miles on odometer) Why are there so many miles on it already?

Husband: …

(cut to car circling the neighborhood as BangBus movie is shot in back seat)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Coulda been worse.
I coulda bet the Donks +5

King Hippo

even tho Donks fan told ya was betting the opposite end…

King Hippo

2.2 YPA for QuarterPax so far.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes. I’m very happy my semi-drunk brain overruled my sober brain on the Lynchings.

Dolph Ucker

Mmmmm… leftover salmon.

herodotus450

Ooh boy, the ol tummy crap factory is rumbling. You dont… you don’t think it could be that block of cheese I ate yesterday, do you?

Dick E. Phuck

One of the many side effects of watching the ARI-JAX game.

Shogun Marcus

Rookie.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck you Sammy Watkins. Fucking Clemson asshole.

Never mind…FG range, unachieved.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Since I am a cheap bastard and hate dropping money on anything, I think the empty seats in stadiums are due to ridiculous pricing that I hope will hit a bubble sooner rather than later.

For example, at the Coliseum, considering Ticketmaster and secondary market sites, you’re not getting into the stadium for less than around $200/ticket. Then add $60 for parking.

The most inelastic tickets seem to belong to the Giants and the Seahawks, and it will still cost you at least $100 to get into MetLife for the final two games. Granted, they are against the Cowboys and Eagles so that may be inflating that number.

I’m so glad I don’t go to football games anymore.

King Hippo

Teevee fandom is much, much better.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

It’s to the extent that even if I get free seats, I’m still 50-50 as to whether I even want to go.

King Hippo

yeah, I turn down freebies more often than not

herodotus450

But… what if there were two extra games per year at the same price? Now that’s what I call enticing.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

And hey, we need a new stadium! Who gives a fuck if half of our city is functionally illiterate!

Dick E. Phuck

“Fuck schools. Who needs schools when you got footbaw!?”
-FDR

Dick E. Phuck

I refuse to believe that you don’t take advantage of the free rimjobs at the Ralph Wilson parking lot.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I once had a Cheektowaga girl tongue-deep in my cheeks.

ballsofsteelandfury

Balls does not poison minds, only seeks to enlighten them. One score game.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yup.

A Kamara TD and a Kamara 2pt conversion and I’m aces.

...

If any of you ever bring be a Bud Light while we’re in the Pit of Misery (which is just Earth) you are not my friend. Don’t listen to the commercial.

hippofant

Jesus fucking Christ, shut the fuck up, fucking CBS announcers. Cooper ducks his head because he realises he’s about to be fucking decapitated, and is trying to fucking protect himself, you fucking dumbfuck fuckers.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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King Hippo

Yeeesh, murder ball in OAK

Spur

Cooper is dead

montythisseemsstrangetome

Should be ready for next week tho

Spur

Don’t put that voodoo on me!

King Hippo

This gonna be a good GAMBLOR weekend, chuh chuh

theeWeeBabySeamus

I strenuously disagree so far.

Petronel

Did…did he just give birth as a TD celebration? I hope I’m wrong…

King Hippo

perhaps he wants to be a dula after his playing career ends?

Petronel

Somehow, that seems more like a center – QB thing to me.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

The Coliseum hasn’t been full since the Christians played the Lions.

It was a Baylor-Detroit charity game.

Unsurprised

Ain’t no Christians at Baylor.

King Hippo

Teh Bible is sposed to be took literally!!111 Except when it talks about the poors, obvs…

King Hippo

QuarterPax has no pocket awareness, big shock.

theeWeeBabySeamus

da Fuq kinda coverage was that NO???
It’s OK…I don’t like money anyway.

King Hippo

Balls just poisoned your mind with his anti-RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!! Scientology nonsense ,, smh

theeWeeBabySeamus

Aints CB just stopped on the play. Jeebus. Set up 1st and goal and the ensuing TD.
smgdh

Dunstan

Lol at CBS showing shots from an LA shopping mall. “Here’s where everyone is instead of coming to the Coliseum…”