Are you footballed out yet? If you are this site is no place for you. Gird your pyjama bottoms, eat some processed sugar product, find some caffeine, (have you tried that coffee enema yet? Maybe now’s the time) get rid of the family and lock the doors. You’ve got some watchin’ to do! TO THE GAMES!
Chicago/Minnesota:
When Minny wins (are you saying there’s another possible outcome?) they will have earned a first round playoff break. John Fox’s 14-34 record as coach of the Bears will be Exhibit A when his firing is announced tomorrow.
Cleveland/Pittsburgh:
Looks like them Steelers are without Antonio and that Ben and Bell will be pulled early if they play at all. Once again, if your fantasy league plays its champeenship on week 17, you’re a schlmiel.
Dallas/Philadelphia:
The Cowboys playoff aspirations went down last week vs the Seahawks and all the haters (myself included) were sated temporarily. If they can just pull off another loss today Jason Garrett will achieve the 8-8 record his coaching ability deserves.
New York Jets/New England:
The Jetskis are going to roll over like a puppy that wants its belly scratched. The Pats, like the kid that is a nascent psychopath, will see this gesture and respond by “punching that fucking puppy right in the goddamn face!”.
Green Bay/Detroit:
Turn off the lamp Jim Caldwell, the party’s over.
Washington/New York Giants:
Eli might be putting his helmet on backwards for the last time as a Giant today. At least he’s got that 3 game starting streak to brag about. A D that has given up 378 points so far will be without starters Collins, Jenkins and a certain cancerous Apple. Take the over, Hippo.
Houston/Indianapolis:
The Texans have no choice but to start TJ “19 of 47” Yates today. Watch this one for the intercepts and giggles.
Give me that thing you got down below. (I’ve had my shots)
a little safety dance? YA!!
Checking in on the HRTF Champeenship….
Well lookit Hippo going all in on the janeane bandwagon. Hmmmmm….
#BreakingTehGlassCeiling
#ManHands
goddamnit, Bearistocrats!
So if the ’72 Dolphins have been drinking champagne every time a season ends without a perfect team , What has the ’08 Lions been drinking for the last few seasons?
Mad Dog 20/20
I bought so much of that (illegally at times….it was a weird time with drinking ages going up) at the Safeway on Western Blvd.
Flint tap water.
FG makes covering pretty safe (+13.5) WOO!!!
BELIEVELAND
Sidney Jones just got activated this week and just headed to the locker room. Poor kid.
Browns find a way to stop from going 0-16, becoming the first team in league history to go 0-15-1
Watching the Dallas offense slowly move backwards on stattracker is fascinating. Has to be more entertaining than the actual broadcast.
NICE flop on the P*ts sideline
DeShone Kizer playing his ass off for Hue is like Tina Turner performing with Ike Turner
Hue loves you, baby. Don’t make Hue hit DeShone like that!
Inadvertent Kojak joke?
If memory serves, Tina wrote that after hearing her sing this Ike gave her an actual compliment!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ULw1RHHPv5g
DAL/PHI final score will be 2-0. Nobody will care who wins.
It is written…
I think I’m coming down with a cold. The hot water will offset the beer, right?
hot water burn baby
Kizer is still trying his ass off, God love him
He’s playing for Cleveland. How much can God really love him?
tough love??
Lesser god Pan
It enrages me because Browns fans make it sound like he is solely responsible for the 0-16 season.
It takes at least a decade of consistent dysfunction to get an 0-16 season. The kid plays hard as fuck with a head coach that calls a game like a complete fucking moron.
His best target took 3 years to learn how to pass a piss test.
Fucking dude deserves an award for putting up with this shit.
True coffin corner in Philly. Gogo Safety Dance!
Obligatory yet meaningless…..JuJu!!!!!!!
6 pts in mah title matchup v. Brocky (PIT D/ST)
Figures.
Time to swiftly remove the nads!
Can hardly stand that much cleavage.
/11 out of 10-would bang her drum
After?
On the first of TWO weeks when there were THREE 0-0 ties, The Rochester Scalpers tied the Rochester Jeffersons.
What’s the difference between Robin Williams and the Philly/Dallas game?
The latter could end in a tie, the former ended with a belt.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA
BANNER PLS
BAHAHAHAHAHA
43 Browns players missed tackles on that return
I’m presuming that that 6 seconds is the longest the Browns have not been trailing this year?
oh, #ThePauls
Wow Cleveland
HehHehHehHeh
“Smallwood”
HehHehHehHeh…
Well, that hope spot didn’t last long for Cleveland.
hope floats, just like a turd
DeShone Kizer has a 136.4 QB rating right now.
Just goes to show how fucking worthless THAT stat is…
Iggles are across midfield
/by penalty OBVS
Wentz-like running play from Sudfeld!
One of the last 0-0 ties happened in 1939. The Eagles outgained the Brooklyn Dodgers 237 yards to 23. Dodgers were 1 of 2 passing for 5 yards.
Only penalty was a 5 yarder against Philly; I guess Andy Reid really is immortal.
To be fair, the Dodgers were already trying to move to LA by then so they dint care.
Uh…guys…the Browns just tied the game.
champagne on ice in the DET locker room…
Except that the Lions didn’t pay their heating bill, so no ice necessary.
Not no mo’
WTG Cleveland. Now it’s just gonna hurt moar when you fuck this up.
#ThePauls have no clue what to do re TD celebrations.
Interesting. No NFL has ever ended with both teams scoring 50 or more points.
2004 Browns @ Bengals got the closest back when they had good offenses and no defenses. That was fun game.
https://www.pro-football-reference.com/boxscores/200411280cin.htm
But it still gave us GLORIOUS SCORIGAMI so it was good.
Even if the Eagles get blown out of the water in the divisional round, at least we got to see the talk of the world beater Dallas offense end in hilarious fashion this season.
extended monologue in PIT on how HAWT Josh Gordon is.
Who made the rule that neither team could go past the 50 in Philly?
HOT LAVA!!!
(If NSFW let me know and I’ll edit the link)
How about 2-0, OT? Walk-off safety in battery land sounding good.
That would be good. Hasn’t happened since 1938 and the OT variant might just be a first!
Bearistocrats! hanging tough. Foxball gon’ Foxball
Is it just a weird chart glitch or does that Scorigami site say that 73 games have ended in 0-0 ties?
No glitch. It’s true, but it hasn’t happened since WW2.
The Nazis ruined everything.
Maybe that is counting forfeit/cancelled/vacated games as well?
If you click on the square, you can follow the link it shows to pro football reference’s list of games with that score.
But yeah, in the very early days of football lots of games ended scoreless.
Like most of my dates.
HEY OHHHHHH!!!!!!
But only one game ended 73-0, right?
7+3=10
10 – 1 = 9
10 + 1= 11
9/11
WAKE UP PEOPLE!
sheeple
Question prompted by discussion of Pam Oliver in the BFC home: What is the difference between a wig and a weave?
Wig falls off. You gotta yank a weave off.
semi-permanence?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artificial_hair_integrations
So glad Romo is paired with Nance-Buck would have ruined him in 2 weeks.
/Aikman winces and shifts in his seat, then promptly forgets what he was thinking about.
My planning today is less than goodly.
I have tickets to a concert tonight which I really do want to attend. But it’s in Hippo’s neck o’ da woods, about 40 minute drive. Which means I have to be sober.
Plus, I’ll miss the endings of teh late gamez, some of which I have meaningless bettings upon.
Dammit.
I’m glad that even though it’s testes-in-your-abdomen cold, the term “polar vortex” has run its course so I don’t have to hear it to describe a cold day.
at this point, pretty resigned to humanity being fucked, so I just take it as it comes. Ya know?
we sure is gettin’ lots of Humps/Imaginarium
No game has ever ended 8-7, so I’m really hoping one of these meaningless games comes down to a late TD and the scoring team goes for the win with the two point conversion.
We HAD that in the snow, but they called OPI on the Humps
BLEERGH! denied us Scorigami.
BLEERGH! is the enemy of Scorigami.
I wish I could show this to regular people just see how blank their faces would get trying to comprehend it.
someone should publish a guidebook
per coked-out Red Zone guy, this was the first NFL fixture in SIX YEARS to be scoreless at the half. And there aren’t even weather issues.