Your “And I Wonder, Yes I Wonder. Who’ll Stop The Run?” AFC Wild Card Open Thread

Here’s your first of 11 playoff games to enjoy as the 2017/18 season begins the old wind-down. It doesn’t seem on the surface to be that sexy a tilt but one team will advance and the other will call it a day so I guess it’s got that going for it. Shall we jump in? TO THE GAME!

TITANS/CHIEFS:

KC is much like most teams in that they tend to win when they get turnovers. In their ten wins they forced 25 of them. I mention this because qb Mariota has regressed this year and has a non-sparkling 13/15 TD/Intercept ratio. It should be noted that he’s reigned in his penchant for fumbling…finally.

Injuries:

Ouchies to both A. Hunt and Thomas could mean that Tyreek Hill gets some more opportunities to touch the ball and the more he’s able to run around the more he’s likely to break a long one. On t’udder side DeMarco is gone so rb Henry will be carrying the full load. He did so last week and he kinda struggled but the talent is there.

History:

The Chiefs haven’t won a playoff game at home in 24 years. Oof. Here’s something else though-they’ve not given up more than 20 points at Arrowhead in more than a year.

Other Stuff:

The Titans have the eighth-best rushing attack in the league and the KC run D is ranked dead last. However, the latter squad really messed things up statistically during that losing slide mid-way through the sked. As it happens, Henry and Co. have been effective at runs longer than 4+ and 10+ yards according to some advanced stats I don’t fully understand.

My Hot Take(Away):

Takeaway? Get it? Who says that we at DFO don’t pander to our legions of Brit commenters? Anyboo, I figure Henry has to run for at least 125 and Mariota has to have a perfect game as far as turnovers are concerned. Much like most of the Chiefs opponents, I don’t think the Titans will be able to contain te Kelce which will in turn free up Hill.

So get with the tip-tapping down below.

 

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Gratliff

This opening is legit making me angry. Holy fuck. How is Hank Williams, Jr. the least enraging of this?

Spur

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zUr5_QVPCAI
Michelle Phillips was smoking hot.

King Hippo

The only thing more overrated than home ownership is parenthood

Romonobyl

Although I’ll take it over going home alone to an empty apartment. Did that for more than enough years.

King Hippo

#UnabomberShack

Spur

get a cat or dog. it helped me with i lived alone.

Romonobyl

Did at times, unfortunately I traveled too much to make that practical.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m with Hippo on this one.
Any human bond which obligates one to have to give a shit should be shunned immediately and possibly stopped suicide.

Yes, I’m fine. Why do you ask?

Romonobyl

Which is cool. The mistake is when folks fight that sentiment and have a family anyway like that will change attitudes.
It doesn’t.

Gratliff

My son’s behavior has improved at school, so it’ snot the dramatic nightmare last year was, but much of this school year has turned into me dealing with the boy discovering Tits Online. Trying to find the right mix of due dilligence blocking shit, and giving him enough leeway to hopefullly see him start trying to be discreet.

fleshwound_NPG

jeff triplette alert

WCS

Alright, folks. I’ll be back in a bit. At this rate, it’ll be before the second quarter.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I should be able to enjoy the games a lot more this weekend, having been reassured that the commander-in-chief is a really really smart stable genius. I was getting worried for a while there.

Spur
Gratliff

Holy fuck. They’re not even on the field yet.

fleshwound_NPG

late game probably gonna end at 1am

rockingdog

alright gonna go hang out in the basement a bit and smoke in opposition to mr sessions.
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since the game isnt starting till 4:45

Viva La Tabula Raza

Yeah, why say the game starts at 320 when that’s actually just when the pregame bullshit all starts? And why do I always fall for it?

King Hippo

My cat finds Li’l Sweet’s voice disturbing

theeWeeBabySeamus

He’s not the only one.

Romonobyl

They can also sense impending earthquakes, respect the judgement.

Romonobyl

Late to rise today, nice when I get to do it.
I was never a coffee snob until The Dame introduced me to Kona from Hawaii, freshly ground of course. Seriously good shit.

Romonobyl

edit…

Viva La Tabula Raza

McDonough has a really weird looking bulge/dome on the back half of the top of his head.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Penis graft

Romonobyl

Underdeveloped conjoined twin, the Browns are about to sign it as a starting defensive end.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Or quarterback, maybe?

fleshwound_NPG

kc got the “best smelling” parking lot in the nfl

wonder how bad must buffalo’s must smell…

Viva La Tabula Raza

The smell of stale urine is the same all over the world.

Romonobyl

You’ve obviously have never been to Indianapolis.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Only to land and drive a rental up to the AFB in Kokomo. Didn’t get any olfactory treats on those trips…

fleshwound_NPG

terre haute would like a word with you

WCS

Like arson and splinters.

rockingdog

LOL 5 strait playoff defeats is a record!

Gratliff

Give the Browns 35 more years and it’ll be tied.

rockingdog

come on man! start the game!

Spur

Andy Reid called a preemptive timeout.

Mr. Ayo

And now he’s challenging the spot of the kickoff.

Spur
King Hippo

Randy is takin’ the Tits! IT’S HAPPENING!!!

Gratliff

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litre_cola

I have wagered on the Titans because I am afraid on Don T’s juju. Man may not have power, but he has powers.

King Hippo

EROTIC SMASHMOUTH

fleshwound_NPG

all the guys wearin gloves but suzy with the fingerless, cause she’s gangsta

theeWeeBabySeamus

Here. Let’s just say it’s cold enough.
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Supposed to be pushing 70F by end of next week tho and fuck if I won’t be on the fucking golf course.
Fucking Southeast Winters can suck it.

Spur
Viva La Tabula Raza

I bought that song on a 45 rpm record when it came out. Yes, I am old.

Spur

did all the ladies wearing dresses like that?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not sure. There was no MTV then.

King Hippo

In contrast, Double-J’s organizational theme:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zpnAJ-zvHj8

Spur

needs more gunfire in the background.

Smithchez

Gentlemen. How is everyone this fine freezing fucking afternoon?

King Hippo

Welcome back!! Well digger’s ass cold in North Cakalaky, too. My cat is none too pleased.

Gratliff

It got up to 5 today. I legit felt warm in it compared to yesterday. Gonna feel downright balmy tomorrow when it’s supposed to hit 30.

litre_cola

This could be a 1st. It is 50 F here.

Smithchez

Oh how I long for the 50s. Fuck, I’d settle for the twenties at this point.

litre_cola

Called a chinook in these parts. Warm air comes down from the mountain and we get huge weather swings.

King Hippo

yep, 30 for a high, 10 for the low, day in day out

Redshirt

I slept fully clothed with a jacket. I never did that, even when camping out in a blizzard.

Spur
Gratliff

Watched the Star Trek episode of Black Mirror before the game. It’s extremely good and worth watching. It’s an anthology series, so you can literally just watch that episode. Liam McPoyle absolutely stole the show.
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herodotus450

Which season?

Gratliff

Season 4, episode 1.

Redshirt

Since when did Netflilx start doing porn?

Gratliff

Netflix is actually considerably less porny than it used to be

Senor Weaselo

Well, it’s official. St. John’s lost by double figures. At home. TO DEPAUL.

herodotus450

DePawwwwwwwwwwwwwwl

King Hippo

Full. Dotard.

fleshwound_NPG

porgi

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rockingdog

bahahahaha great job internet!

King Hippo

official Chefs theme song!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7dSUdzgmCik

Spur

How many DFOers survived the Deep Freeze back East? How cold was it?

Gratliff

In mid-Michigan, the wind chilld bottomed out at -30. They had as low as -45 wind chill in the UP.

Spur

FUCK THAT! How do you get the cars to start in the morning?

herodotus450

You can get engine/battery warmers. Or just never turn them off once mid-November hits.

Redshirt

You can also start your call every two hours and run it for 10 minutes. It helps keep the engine warm at the risk of a psychotic episode due to sleep deprivation.

rockingdog

hahaha they cold!

Spur

It’s 40 in LV and am wearing my beanie

litre_cola

We are warmer than you up here, that is fucked up.

Gratliff

It’s not really even that bad these days. They’ll complain while turning over, but they usually start without issue. Trying to do highway speeds without letting them warm up first is ill-advised, though.

Gratliff

I’ve worked outside in that. It was a special winter that usually involved passing out cold the second my body warmed up at home. I also learned while trying to move a lumber kiln door half encased in ice while it was -20 out, that if you’re sucking wind at that temperature, you will actually hurt your lungs.

King Hippo

still ongoing. JESUS FUCK, is it ever cold

theeWeeBabySeamus

I planned ahead yesterday, finally, so I wouldn’t have to put pants on today.

Six days tho. Six days straight of long pants and underpants.

I’m not built for this shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And to answer Spur’s inquiry….

It was 3 degrees this morning here in the armpit of North Carolina when I awokeded this morning. 3 fucking degrees.

Redshirt

Thankfully it only got as good as -6°F. My car started but it wasn’t happy. Neither was the stray cat that was sleeping on my engine to keep warm.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Suddenly it makes sense how Nags Head got their name.

WCS

One more night of this, and tonight might be the coldest. Calling for -9.

rockingdog

not looking forward to this evening. also still frightened about the heating/electric bill.
Whooo frozen cars and floating dumpsters here in New England from that coastal flooding!

litre_cola

Floating Dumpster? That’s a mobile pool – Philadelphia

WCS

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King Hippo

This Notre Dame squadron (17 points with under a minute left in half) beat NC State by 30 midweek. Without its TWO best players, including starting PG.

litre_cola

What are we all drinkin?

King Hippo

vicuprofen and cold medicine!

/cold meds are just herbal shit (Zarbees hot liquid) so not knockout juice

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Elysian Space Dust IPA.
It’s good.

Bonus: Why hello there 8.2% ABV

Spur

Black tea sweeten with honey. no liquor yet.

herodotus450

When will white tea stop being oppressed ?

rockingdog

Narrangansett.
my roommate just picked up a flack of tall boys for the house. nuclear winter drinking commence!

Spur
litre_cola

Gday Gday Gday!

Spur

Part of me wants to see Jon Gruden succeed. Those early 2000s Raider teams were fun to watch.

fleshwound_NPG

this is likely to be a shittier version of the Gibbs comeback, but far longer

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

so this is cool!
https://boingboing.net/2018/01/03/this-handy-turntable-digitizes.html

also go KFC Cheifs! andy gonna eat his chicken & ribs!

Redshirt

Here’s a trip down Repressed Memory Lane if your want a playoff refresher.

Also, they passed on the Popular Choice for Bengals loss (That Wild Card Loss (TM) Redshirt’s Broken Dreams, Inc. Est. 2002) and chose the actually correct answer (Super Bowl XXIII).

https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/photos/each-nfl-teams-most-soul-crushing-playoff-loss/

Unsurprised

Even God is having fun with this.

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King Hippo

anybody say God ain’t got no sense of humour ain’t been paying much attention (it’s pretty dark, too)

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck that guy.
And yes, if he magically appears I’m more than happy to tell him to his face.

Unsurprised

We like her.

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King Hippo

there needs to be a #ThePauls there lady

theeWeeBabySeamus

Plus she wrote it in green and taped something over her original thoughts.

2/10, would only bang twice.

Unsurprised

Maybe she was so drunk she misspelled ASS the first time?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I can work with that.

ballsofsteelandfury

She’s lovely

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
King Hippo

then…teh mulattoes!!

Spur
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

“Trump promised to let states set their own marijuana policies. Now he’s breaking that promise…”

O rly? If there was a way to bet on trump breaking campaign promises we’d all be rich.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He doesn’t remember or care day to day what he said previously.

Spur

i want the Titans to win this. Then Mahomes can start next year.

King Hippo

if they get down early and the offense is stuck in the usual neutral, could get ugly – now that they’ve had the chance to see the better QB play.

fleshwound_NPG

This Viberzi commercial still doesn’t top the commercial with the animated intestines walking around

fleshwound_NPG

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King Hippo

did Mort catch Pagano’s cancer? He sure looks awful cancer-y

Mr. Ayo

He had throat cancer. I think he’s still getting treatment too.

King Hippo

oh shit, now I feel like a dick

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Just around the corner from the Canberra Undersea Nuclear Troops

theeWeeBabySeamus

Mission to Uranus?

(yes, I’m proud of this potty humour)

Redshirt

“Preparing for reentry!”

rockingdog

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fleshwound_NPG

“Arrowhead, considered one of the toughest places to play…”

They haven’t won a home playoff game since…the Montana era?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Since Montana became a state…..

King Hippo

I mean, if you consider how hostile and dangerous the average 300-pound white person has become in the current era…

Spur

Zodiac is a great film.

King Hippo

Tis COLD. I like the odds FOAR Erotic Smashmouth

Spur

Folks

fleshwound_NPG

[blows dust off DFO account]

does this still work…

WCS

Where the fuck have you been?

fleshwound_NPG

500+ hours of OT worked this year

King Hippo

so….beer and PILLZ on you??

fleshwound_NPG

gave myself alcohol poisoning about a month and a half ago, no more hard shit…so yes, a beer will do

King Hippo

yeah, I prefer how beer self-regulates (i.e., doesn’t get you drunk faster than one realizes)

Redshirt

I feel your pain. I’ve been doing the job of three people in two locations (counties).

It was supposed to be for two weeks. That was three months ago.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m rooting for the TITS. Because Don T and this

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Horatio Cornblower

I’m rooting for the Chiefs. For this guy…

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