A hale and hearty “Hullo!” to all my fellow pigskin huffers. Boy, did you ever hunker down to the funkiest spot on the net for the football watching. Say, here’s a trivia query: “When was the last time the overall #1 seed was a home dog?” No googling! If memory serves, you’d have to all the way back to 1935 or so when the Camden Meat Maulers hosted the Decataur Drooling Horde. What happened was that the Horde’s general manager up and snuck Notre Dame’s recently-graduated triple threat quarterback Sonny “The Ukrainian Tornado” Poroshenko onto the roster thus ensuring the victory. Apparentlly, the story goes, Commissioner Judge And Jury Kenesaw Mountain Landis (his billfold bursting at the seams with a very recent infusion of sawbucks) saw nothing wrong with this cheeky maneuver. The rest we’re all very much aware of-meat was mauled, hordes drooled, the body count totaled 3 and the final 0-0 score left the crowd chanting (for the very first time) “GO, METEOR!”. Will events unfold in a similar matter today? For the answers we must go… TO THE GAME!
Atlanta/Philadelphia:
She’s gonna be a cold one for the players today-it’ll be about 20 degrees with the windchill or what Canadians would call “a day at the beach’.
Injuries:
Yeah, there’ll be a few.
Good King Wentz Is Lost:
The before-amentioned Nick Foles has quite a bit on his plate today. Them Eagles finished up 13-3 but their brand new-ish starting qb finished up 23 for 49 in their last two tilts. (That 2013 Pro Bowl appearance back in ’13 seems like a two careers ago) On third downs over that two game stretch the news doesn’t get any better-he’s 1 of 17 passing on third downs. Did I mention that he’s fumbled in each of his last three starts?
Keep An Eye Out For:
The Falcons D, per the last eight weeks of the season is a top 5 unit overall. Most impressive has been 2nd year lb Deion Jones. He’s the one that intercepted Brees in spectacular fashion to save the Falcons playoff hopes and also batted down a potential TD score while shadowing Sammy Watkins in the end zone.
My Hot Takeaway:
It’ll take some time for each offense to get going so the first one to 20 wins. Falcons over Eagles 20-13.
I’m done but you’re just getting started-“GO GO GADGET FINGERS!”
ffs
every passing down blitz the fuck outta foles
We’ve replaced Nick Foles with Brock Osweiler. Let’s see if anyone notices.
SillyCuse is in the middle of a 2 OT game vs. the Seminoles.
Wolfpack is 2-2 in league play.
Anything is possible.
oh god
I feel like BEERGH and DOINK are fighting to control the Eagles’ destiny today.
Personally I’m rooting for DOINK.
I’m not sure the Patriots are a lock this year like a lot commentists seem to assume. I doubt if they can continue to come from behind or pull away in the second half after a mediocre or crappy first half like it seems they have been doing throughout the regular season. Can’t get away with that shit consistently in the playoffs.
the rest of the nfl is complete garbage
Believe in Yinzburgh.
Until they run up against Minny’s D, at least.
The officiating crews will be sure to help see them through.
refs bet the spread
My dog just went outside. She didn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure it’s because she refuses to watch Nick Foles’ terrible quarterback play.
That was funny.
Foles gonna Foles
Foles has been possessed by Bortles.
Or he just sucks.
lol we have another playoff game with Bortles starting lol
….and here come the D-cells!
BLEERGH for Eagles MVP
I bet Wentz could play if he really wanted to.
Pussy.
“Hey! I want two pussy!”
-Gronk
He’s not jay cutler though, he’s the lovable guy from montana, so he gets a pass on virtually anything
I’m not drunk enough for this.
I also should stop betting real dough. I suck at it.
Pretty good drive by the Falcons there.
That’s a pretty good post
Wow, they made an ad in Hawaii already? That’s fast!
http://i.imgur.com/yDYWKqx.gif
Trained killer? I didn’t know Matt Bryant was an Army Ranger.
If he’s actually a trained killer, does he too get his own statue in Baltimore?
He’s white, so he’ll probably be elected Governor of Maryland.
No no, he said “train” killer. In his spare time he works on automotive technologies.
Let’s just hope he’s better than Rob Bironas.
This is the first time in a while where I want both teams playing in a playoff game to eat shit and die. That is, until the eventual Pats-Steelers AFC championship game airs.
I’ve actually decided I won’t watch that game if it happens. I genuinely loathe the idea of either team winning (though it will be the Patriots).
Awww. Thanks!
You are very welcome.
shutup cris
Foarever and always.
I would enjoy a Matt Schaub sighting.
Pick-sixes for everyone!
Call me crazy…..
Could the falcons possibly be the best bet to beat the patriots in the big game, should they square off again?
Memes asaid of course
they’ll just blow a bigger lead
38-3 with five minutes left in the third.
Memes are false prophets.
This is what happens when you schedule a game on the Festival of DOINK.
This is gonna be like watching a title fight between two double amputees.
leg, arm, or one of each?
Boxing, so arms I guess.
For fucks sakes
the shitfest truly begins
oh my fuck
hilariously underthrown, hilariously shitty coverage and interference
welp…
When in doubt, I usually root for the underdog.
Thats clearly the over!
BLEEEEEEEEEEERGH
I bet all of these games suck and this is all just a prelude to the Patriots rolling the Vikings by 30 points int he Super Bowl.
Goddamn it why did that missile alert have to be false?
You got one part of that wrong: the Vikings will lose by shanking a 21-yard field goal as time expires. Drew commits seppuku.
Me most of the year: The Rocky thing is stupid. I don’t know why we do it.
Me in the playoffs: ROCKY IS ALL OF US! DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNN
Just tuned in to a shot of the Rocky statue – anybody got an o/u on the number of those we’ll see?
Many?
Foles, quote, “looked the part.”
What’s Mike Glennon doing here?
Go birds.
These 2017-18 Eagles, I call them the 2015-16 Bengals because their offense was moving like a well powered machine, but then their starting QB got hurt. Now they got to play their Backup QB in the playoffs and now they are doomed! Doomed!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WD73a1trdJ0
Is their season gonna end the exact same way?
I hope so. As a Bengals fan, its killing my soul to this very day.
But as a sports fan, that was hilarious.
Last weekend had one true good game that didn’t feature one or more teams shitting the bed.
Looks like that will happen again. No way I can trust Foles, The Tits and Bort to provide good games.
The only good Falcons games end in collapse
IT BEGINS AGAIN
Fill my Foles.
Oh it’s a wordplay day? My such cunning linguists around here.
Remember everyone: The Eagles must never win a Super Bowl.
“I devour worlds and planetary accessories!”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HI-8CVixZ5o
the nuke headed towards hawaii was a false alarm
it is headed to philly to put just about everybody out of their sports misery in more ways than one
Why not Foxborough?
2nd salvo, launched mid-game just to make sure of the kills
Radiation fallout will go to New England so they’ll suffer a slow, agonizing death.
I mean, jubilation does put one out of their misery…
Foles completed a pass. Wow.
Yes, I know they’re falcons. But it was funnier with Foles.
You sir, get a –
Hey, I’m rooting for the Iggles. Even put my money down.
But the Foles joke was good. You’re a bad sport. Hehehehehe
I AM A BIT ON EDGE
You are correct, and I’m no ornithologist anyway.
Me neither.
Technically, at least.
Insomnia is a weird thing. Its forces you to stay up watching TV. Now, I’m starting to get into a Disney cartoon “Star vs the Forces of Evil”. Its silly but not stupid silly like other cartoons.
Also it got me to identify with a Spider with a Top Hat. That episode put me in a minor existential crisis.
Fine. Don’t let me edit it.
LET’S GO BIRDS OF WAR
Having the Eagles in the playoffs seems strange to me. Cracked a good bottle of red, packed a bowl. LETS DO THIS.