[can’t think of anything to say] Intros are for suckers… TO THE GAME!
Jacksonville/Pittsburgh:
Taking a look at this game I was reminded of an old Bart Simpson quote which goes something like, “Smashee, smashee”. Yeah, this one is gonna be a battle of physical and mental wills and no matter the outcome, both sides will suffer casualties-think in terms of Attica in early September of ’71. That’s how this one is going to go.
Injuries:
Antonio Brown is out/ready and raring to go, no question/a game-time decision-pick one. If he does throw the cleats on he’ll be staring down cb Jalen Ramsay. I love this matchup. Ramsay was thrown at only 5 times last week and was able to come up with an interception.
We Need To Talk About Blake:
Will the competent Blake or the inadequate Blake take the field today? Last week vs. the Bills he was 12/23 for 87 yards. Not so good, huh? Not so fast-he was able to offset that with 10 runs for 88 yards. Using the very latest-ish in phone calculator technology, I took a look back at his bipedal-centric shenanigans and discovered that in games where he runs 5 or more times he averages 7 yards per attempt. Interesting? Probably not but I’ll make the case that he recognizes/exploits running lanes far more than he is given credit for. I think another way to assess the fella is in terms of ‘comfort zone’. In the games where his QBR rating was over 100, (the lowest mark being 119!) his attempts/completions were 20-31, 18-26, 26-35, 18-27 and 21-29. Perhaps he’s not the game manager I thought he is but just a guy that needs to play within certain parameters in order to get the job done. Once outside those parameters though it becomes a bit of a crapshoot as to which guy shows up.
My Hot Takeaway:
I’ll be surprised if Bell and Fournette don’t combine for 50 carries between them. The thing is, [whips out suddenly trusty phone calculator again] this gives the Steelers a significant advantage. Perhaps Fournette is wearing down a bit but he’s only averaging 3 yards per rush over his last eight games. Mr. “Don’t Franchise Tag Me, Bro” Bell has averaged 4.2 in his last seven. As the carries pile up, it’ll be Pittsburgh that will more easily get up and down the field.
What are you waiting for? Get it on, bang your gong!
“If you saw two guys named Pouncey and Ben, which one would you think would be more likely to commit sexual assault on drunken women? I’d say Pouncey, wouldn’t you? You’d be wrong, though. It’s Ben.”
We have no evidence that Pouncey hasn’t also.
So aside from WCS and Balls, am I the only one rooting for Yinzburgh then?
OK, time to do some drankin’ I guess.
Rooting against Jaguras is like kicking a newborn puppy. YOU BASTARD MAN.
Whoa…flashback.
If you win this game, I’ll do my part to help you by rooting for NE. Deal?
I’m rooting for the Jaguars, but I won’t be upset if Pittsburgh wins. They are one of the only teams that the NFL will allow to beat the Patriots.
I’m rooting for the Steelers. ROOTING FOR THEM TO GET THEIR ASS KICKED.
yep, the steelers are going to try to get some flags on the jags by starting fights
Telvin Smith is one of the most underrated players in the League. Already, like a tomb in the House that Ketchup Built.
No dumb flags!
Yup! Steelers football.
pouncey is a scumbag
That’s the guy who STILL defends Hernandez, BTW.
What did my great-aunt’s cat do to you?
3 and out. fuck yeah
oh yea! JagginOff all day!
(thinking) must not celebrate Steelers giving up TD. don’t jinx this.
That’s a defensing unit, y’all.
MURRRRRRRRICA ON CBS
Every Navy Seal has two families. Except for Sergeant Cromartie, who has ten.
He has six Seal teams.
The “sitting in gum” woman looks like a man with a bad wig.
So do I at the moment.
I really need a haircut.
?v=1494613853
Silky nods, smack a bitch on her ass
imma laugh endlessly if this is ’96 Jags/Broncos levels of lulz
TOO SOON!!
Note that I do not hold this ass-whoopin’ against Jaguras, TOTES our own fault. I was SO ANGRY that day, I mopped the kitchen.
it beget two superb owl titles, tho
If that had been against the Patriots the officials would have ruled Fournette’s knee had touched the ground while he was still in the air.
I was gonna go with not surviving the ground, but apples/oranges.
Touchdown P*ts?
Punched in the mouth, as predict.
Janay Rice apologizes for that touchdown.
Wooooooo
holy shit that was some walter payton ultra-leap bullshit he just pulled
thats a TD. Hope?
LOVE IT. BALLS!!
– Aaron Rodgers
the only WR was an OL on a 3rd and goal
welp
I have 5 bills on Jaguras +7.5
Go Underdogs/Undercats!
These games will suck or super-suck. Those are the only possibilities.
this seems good.
Bort…good?
Odd. Week.
Marqise WOO!!!
prop bets are for suckers, but I put $100 on #OddWeekJaguras scoring first (+140)
That’s looking good at the moment…
The 5 bills I made early yesterday, I lost late.
Keeping my original stake from yesterday safe. NO ACTION TODAY.
(Unless I get drunk before about 4pm)
“It’s important to keep your steak safe.”
– Andy Reid
So refs want Stillers Pats right?
I hope so.
The officiating in the Titans game yesterday appears to have made me literally ill.
I was thinking same thing, but was probably the alcohol to be honest
insert Shad Khan “PREPARE YOUR ANUS” GIF
Go Jet Jaguar!
I love that these guys get millions to say such wise shit as “Coaches should call the good plays that make the players be good”
do the football good
he sounds like a 7yr old.
Oh shit, 10 minutes to game time. I should shut Factorio down and pay attention to the foosball.
Oh, no. Its a feels episode of Scrubs! I don’t want to feel feels before I watch the Steelers play football!!!!
This one’s FOAR Silky!!
All over the country, celebrities and powerful men are being ripped down for any sexual bullshit, and here’s Ben Roethlisberger, still getting the fucking hero treatment all these years later.
over/under Bort passing yards: 95 1/2
I’m taking the over. All in on the Hippo odd week Jaguras theory.
Over. Jags gonna be JagginOff all day!
After last night’s game, its resorted to “Which team will the NFL allow to beat New England, the Steelers or the Jaguars?”
Stillers never beat the Greatriots, so jags
…but no way in hell Goodell’s stripped goons allow us a Bort/Foles Superb Owl
That would be a glorious thing indeed. Unfortunately we can’t have nice things.
Are the playoffs done yet?
I am seriously just done with this season. I don’t care about any of the teams left.
Other than the fact that the Steelers consistently play down to their competition, so I expect this to be 9-6 slog….who cares…
Being a Browns fan does that at all times of year, right?
Not really.
I can’t be the only one that this season just felt…eh…
If it wasn’t for the browns going for history, I would have watched hardly any NFL. There have been a shockingly low amount of competitive games…or at least that is what it has felt like.
wait…do the vikes want to kill an old lady?
That old girl knows how to party. You know that brick didn’t used to be foam.
no but she got invited to the next team boat party
“No, doctor, we have no idea how she broke her hip”
So I’ve had enough time to run worst case playoff scenarios in my mind, and I think I’ve figured it out. Vikes beat Saints, but lose Case Keenum in the process. Sam fuck Bradford goes to Philly and blows them out of the water. As an Eagles fan, I truly believe that shit’s got better odds than the under.
THERE IS NO DANA, ONLY JACOBSON
the jags have a better chance against the pats than the steelers do
THIS GUY gets it!
Like 30% chance v. 3%
gah, stupid link didn’t work
Fun!
Bahahaha
https://www.cbssports.com/nfl/news/texas-man-arrested-after-threatening-to-kill-players-fans-at-jaguars-steelers-game/
he sure sounds like a covert fella
Wasn’t me. I’m more “Put laxative in everyone’s food and then sit back and watch the fun unfold on TV.”
The guy’s name is Yuttana Choochongkol . Will there be racist comments in the comments?
*checks comments*
Of course there will.
Folks
Allegedly
maybe
Doubtfully
True or False: BORT is pretty much your best case scenario for The Biscuit of Truth?
False. Ceiling for Truth Biscuit is probably Mariota.
I dunno. I’m getting a Dalton vibe. He’ll be good, but he won’t elevate the team.