Your “Stack The Box? Don’t Mind If We Do!” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

[can’t think of anything to say] Intros are for suckers… TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/Pittsburgh:

Taking a look at this game I was reminded of an old Bart Simpson quote which goes something like, “Smashee, smashee”. Yeah, this one is gonna be a battle of physical and mental wills and no matter the outcome, both sides will suffer casualties-think in terms of Attica in early September of ’71. That’s how this one is going to go.

Injuries:

Antonio Brown is out/ready and raring to go, no question/a game-time decision-pick one. If he does throw the cleats on he’ll be staring down cb Jalen Ramsay. I love this matchup. Ramsay was thrown at only 5 times last week and was able to come up with an interception.

We Need To Talk About Blake:

Will the competent Blake or the inadequate Blake take the field today? Last week vs. the Bills he was 12/23 for 87 yards. Not so good, huh? Not so fast-he was able to offset that with 10 runs for 88 yards. Using the very latest-ish in phone calculator technology, I took a look back at his bipedal-centric shenanigans and discovered that in games where he runs 5 or more times he averages 7 yards per attempt. Interesting? Probably not but I’ll make the case that he recognizes/exploits running lanes far more than he is given credit for. I think another way to assess the fella is in terms of ‘comfort zone’. In the games where his QBR rating was over 100, (the lowest mark being 119!) his attempts/completions were 20-31, 18-26, 26-35, 18-27 and 21-29. Perhaps he’s not the game manager I thought he is but just a guy that needs to play within certain parameters in order to get the job done. Once outside those parameters though it becomes a bit of a crapshoot as to which guy shows up.

My Hot Takeaway:

I’ll be surprised if Bell and Fournette don’t combine for 50 carries between them. The thing is, [whips out suddenly trusty phone calculator again] this gives the Steelers a significant advantage. Perhaps Fournette is wearing down a bit but he’s only averaging 3 yards per rush over his last eight games. Mr. “Don’t Franchise Tag Me, Bro” Bell has averaged 4.2 in his last seven. As the carries pile up, it’ll be Pittsburgh that will more easily get up and down the field.

What are you waiting for? Get it on, bang your gong!

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King Hippo

BORT shouldplay action and run

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Kickers are really shitty at onsiding, no?

ThePirateSloth

I rewound to watch that again – I totally blame the kicker for that mess.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I blamed him on the live look. But I too rewound it. Just to laugh again.

King Hippo

also, paradoxically PIT benefits from JAX being in stretch FG position, they may try less hard for the first down and try kicking a long FG in bad conditions, which lets PIT back in the game (instead of playing field position if don’t get first down).

Also, not calling timeouts on other side of 2:00 costs PIT 2 plays.

blaxabbath

Oh, I thought it was to give up 8 secs of game clock to preserve timeout.

King Hippo

I mean, they need the 2:00 for #3, but might as well burn 1 and 2 first

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But theoretically Jacksonville could call a pass play into the two minute warning.

Dick E. Phuck

George Soros is funding leftist causes so that he can increase Taco Bell’s stock price.

Brick Meathook

DILLY DI*gunshot*

LemonJello

comment image

rockingdog

is the The last thing we americas say when the nuclear mussels reign down upon us.

Gratliff

That’ll be the actual emergency alert that goes out when the ICBM’s come. Americans will die as they lived: Shitposting.

rockingdog

just get two first downs. come on jax

Viva La Tabula Raza

I really hope the Jags don’t fuck this up somehow.

Spur
tomsellecksmoustache

And Tomlin still can’t manage a clock.

Spur

racist!

blaxabbath

Which is a surprise considering he surely wears a huge clock around his neck whenever outside the stadium.

Mr. Ayo

I’m typing up the Blair Walsh post already.

tomsellecksmoustache

Now Boswell owns the two worst onside attempts in NFL history.

fleshwound_NPG

the fuck was that

Brocky

……….ksmsmalallalakakaj?

blaxabbath

Stupid White Guy 44.

rockingdog

da fuck? the backwards pass?
bahahahaha

litre_cola

NFL pushes button to make this happen.

Brocky

Bdubs style!

King Hippo

you should try onside kick b/c one first down beats you either way. Nothing really to lose.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

LeVeon Bell deserves all the monies

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, onside kick attempt?

blaxabbath

Bell gonna retire after this game?

No way.

King Hippo

Jaguras need ONE FIRST DOWN

LemonJello

Can Fouts get mouth and throat cancer…right now?

tomsellecksmoustache

I know we like to shit on Ben for being dumb, but that was a smart fucking play.

blaxabbath

He’s an idiot football savant?

Brocky

You can do that?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes you can.

-Stanford

Mr. Ayo

HARF HARF!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hippo’s favorite play coming up.

blaxabbath

Seriously, shorten the NFL season and just get to the playoffs each year.

King Hippo

that was a really good play. FUCKERS

theeWeeBabySeamus

It really was.

ThePirateSloth

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

blaxabbath

Damn – and JAX has young talent too. And play in the South.

Shit, they’re going to get a new free stadium, huh?

litre_cola

In all seriousness Khan wants to move them to London, he owns Fulham you see.

blaxabbath

I know but the NFL can’t do that in this environment. So they’ll do the next best thing and get back to taking hundreds of millions in local taxpayer dollars.

bk109

Yes, a new one with even more pools and jacuzzis.. Hell, they’ll put a couple of pools between the hashes at the 50!

King Hippo

gotta catch that!

fleshwound_NPG

they’re gonna score again, not over yet

ThePirateSloth

They need some tacklin’ fuel

bk109

The comment sections in here would be a fun read 😀

Brocky

comment image?itemid=4608186

Dick E. Phuck

Can you shut the fuck up, Fouts.

bk109

I can’t wait for The Cuntler to replace him 😀

litre_cola

It will be a glorious day

Gratliff

LOOKS CLEAN TO ME

King Hippo

that’s totally fair

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What is that spittle in Tomlin’s hobo beard?

fleshwound_NPG

he runs like a 350+ lbs. lineman, even got the “I gotta lateral, I can’t do this” look

rockingdog

you think jags gonna get to 50 points?

blaxabbath

I could see a pick 6.

blaxabbath

Getting some good QB mobility this game.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

JuJu is what my Uncle Ed used to call Ed Koch when he drank

Gratliff

Stadium slowly turning yellow is delicious

blaxabbath

Please be due to jaundice.

King Hippo

Stillers have caught lots of breaks with tipped balls landing harmlessly on the ground

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Come on backbreaking interception…

bk109

Quick poll: How many minutes after the game will Big Ben start whinging about his team and/or threaten with retirement?

King Hippo

I bet the under

Dick E. Phuck

I give it 10 minutes tops.

rockingdog

30min.

blaxabbath

He’ll get #metoo’d

blaxabbath

Why so stingy with the cart use?

Mr. Ayo

Think you can only get to the locker rooms via stairs there.

blaxabbath

Come on NFLPA!

tomsellecksmoustache

Rogers is down? Heyward-Bey time baby!

blaxabbath

Al Davis…..grows out hair more.

theeWeeBabySeamus

In spite of rooting for Yinzburgh, I could totally be content with a Minny/Jax Superb Owl.

blaxabbath

Is this the year in MIN?

King Hippo

this has indeed been my prophecy

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah I know. You smrt motherfucker.

ThePirateSloth

I’ve been quietly rooting for that exact matchup once the season ended.