Your “Stack The Box? Don’t Mind If We Do!” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

[can’t think of anything to say] Intros are for suckers… TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/Pittsburgh:

Taking a look at this game I was reminded of an old Bart Simpson quote which goes something like, “Smashee, smashee”. Yeah, this one is gonna be a battle of physical and mental wills and no matter the outcome, both sides will suffer casualties-think in terms of Attica in early September of ’71. That’s how this one is going to go.

Injuries:

Antonio Brown is out/ready and raring to go, no question/a game-time decision-pick one. If he does throw the cleats on he’ll be staring down cb Jalen Ramsay. I love this matchup. Ramsay was thrown at only 5 times last week and was able to come up with an interception.

We Need To Talk About Blake:

Will the competent Blake or the inadequate Blake take the field today? Last week vs. the Bills he was 12/23 for 87 yards. Not so good, huh? Not so fast-he was able to offset that with 10 runs for 88 yards. Using the very latest-ish in phone calculator technology, I took a look back at his bipedal-centric shenanigans and discovered that in games where he runs 5 or more times he averages 7 yards per attempt. Interesting? Probably not but I’ll make the case that he recognizes/exploits running lanes far more than he is given credit for. I think another way to assess the fella is in terms of ‘comfort zone’. In the games where his QBR rating was over 100, (the lowest mark being 119!) his attempts/completions were 20-31, 18-26, 26-35, 18-27 and 21-29. Perhaps he’s not the game manager I thought he is but just a guy that needs to play within certain parameters in order to get the job done. Once outside those parameters though it becomes a bit of a crapshoot as to which guy shows up.

My Hot Takeaway:

I’ll be surprised if Bell and Fournette don’t combine for 50 carries between them. The thing is, [whips out suddenly trusty phone calculator again] this gives the Steelers a significant advantage. Perhaps Fournette is wearing down a bit but he’s only averaging 3 yards per rush over his last eight games. Mr. “Don’t Franchise Tag Me, Bro” Bell has averaged 4.2 in his last seven. As the carries pile up, it’ll be Pittsburgh that will more easily get up and down the field.

What are you waiting for? Get it on, bang your gong!

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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

TAWMY

fleshwound_NPG

woah nelly

King Hippo

To follow-up an earlier comment (forget who), I hereby decree the Bananacakes threshold crossed.

tomsellecksmoustache

Don’t ask Jason to hate Murrica.

Claymaker

THESE JAGUARS I CALL THEM Le CHATALIER BECAUSE WHENEVER CONDITIONS CHANGE THEY MAINTAIN EQUILIBRIUM

rockingdog

bahahaha that is great! hell of a game! 42 points!
which one of you suckers said this was gonna be a sucky game?

blaxabbath

Sill.

...

FORBIDDEN WORD

blaxabbath

Only I have the power to speak it.

For a reason.

litre_cola

I am on to you Blax.

LemonJello

comment image?itemid=5494205

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I freely admit that I did not expect this, and probably said as much.

ThePirateSloth

They should change this commercial after this game to have him using that towel

Dick E. Phuck

I’d like to imagine the NFL higher-ups in the league office watching this game at an evil conference room table, screaming a bunch of obscenities and throwing shit on the floor as a result of this game.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The one who work in the ratings division probably are.

blaxabbath

“Why do we allow playoff teams in from these shithole cities!?”

King Hippo

Hey guys, I just figured it out – LemonJello is Silky Gerrard!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Unleashing the Dragon 3: Electric Bortledee

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Man, the racist taeks on Tomlin tomorrow are going to be unbearable

King Hippo

they need to let Haley take over imo godbless

bk109

Don’t worry, if he has any dignity – he’d admit guilt (losing to the Bortles twice is a capital offense in PA) and resign in shame to start serving a 10 year sentence as the OC for the Browns 😀

blaxabbath

Retread to ARI!

rockingdog

BLAKE BORTLES BETTER RECORD IN JANURY THEN THE RUSSIAN ARMY. BOTH UNDEFEATED VERSE BLITZ

-PFT Commentator

blaxabbath

Coach trying to give Bortles five and getting ignored (entering commercial) was pretty entertaining.

Mr. Ayo

DUVAL!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m-a chortling about this Bortling.

litre_cola

This game is nuts.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What a coincidence, deez nuts are gamey.

I should probably shower.

blaxabbath

Of course Blake wasn’t going to throw the ball too hard there.

LemonJello

Defensive stop next series. please Jaguras?

ThePirateSloth

FUCK YEA

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Well.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Fornet is ded

blaxabbath

Kinda cool how Marron doesn’t actually talk during games. That’s some quality leadership.

Spur

my lord was the beautiful

Mr. Ayo

NEVER A DOUBT! BORTLES!

...

Bortleortleortletorledown

fleshwound_NPG

GAME WINNING FULLBACKDOWN, PFTC CUMS

Petronel

HOLY SHIT THIS GAME

Gratliff

O Yinz

King Hippo

HonkyDOWN!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe

fleshwound_NPG

fournette is not even tyring to cut

King Hippo

This is reminiscent of Foles’ 2nd half yesterday.

Claymaker

How many crullers has Chris Ivory hate-eaten in the press box?

LemonJello

All of them.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Barring stupid stuff from Jax, that’s the ballgame.

fleshwound_NPG

paddin borts stats, yo

King Hippo

Bleed. That. CLOCK!

Redshirt

Prevent Defenses prevents victories.

Spur

Raisinets dont great enough respect.

ThePirateSloth

Keep giving it to Yeldon, he clearly is on his game.

King Hippo

Unless one is Shady, having two working feet is important to play NFL RB.

tomsellecksmoustache

How can you let Bort do this?

blaxabbath

I’m not sure but I feel like TB12 will shred these defenses.

King Hippo

Jaguras 24, P*ts 20

bk109

Don’t be absurd – it’s either a Pats blowout, or more realistically
Jags 2, Pats 0 with a safety in overtime 😀

fleshwound_NPG

Moar Yeldon, plz

Gratliff

YOUNG YELDON

blaxabbath

I’ve got my offseason topic!

King Hippo

YELDON!!!

ThePirateSloth

Put Yeldon back in!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Someone was listening.

fleshwound_NPG

fournette is semi-dead

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Bernie Sanders visits North Korea on 60 Minutes

King Hippo

Horny Fourny can’t cut on that ankle.

bk109

“The Verizon – we’re so good we need to constantly spam adverts to attract customers” campaign seems counter-productive

blaxabbath

Nah.

Spur

INT incoming