Your “Stack The Box? Don’t Mind If We Do!” AFC Playoff Game Open Thread

[can’t think of anything to say] Intros are for suckers… TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/Pittsburgh:

Taking a look at this game I was reminded of an old Bart Simpson quote which goes something like, “Smashee, smashee”. Yeah, this one is gonna be a battle of physical and mental wills and no matter the outcome, both sides will suffer casualties-think in terms of Attica in early September of ’71. That’s how this one is going to go.

Injuries:

Antonio Brown is out/ready and raring to go, no question/a game-time decision-pick one. If he does throw the cleats on he’ll be staring down cb Jalen Ramsay. I love this matchup. Ramsay was thrown at only 5 times last week and was able to come up with an interception.

We Need To Talk About Blake:

Will the competent Blake or the inadequate Blake take the field today? Last week vs. the Bills he was 12/23 for 87 yards. Not so good, huh? Not so fast-he was able to offset that with 10 runs for 88 yards. Using the very latest-ish in phone calculator technology, I took a look back at his bipedal-centric shenanigans and discovered that in games where he runs 5 or more times he averages 7 yards per attempt. Interesting? Probably not but I’ll make the case that he recognizes/exploits running lanes far more than he is given credit for. I think another way to assess the fella is in terms of ‘comfort zone’. In the games where his QBR rating was over 100, (the lowest mark being 119!) his attempts/completions were 20-31, 18-26, 26-35, 18-27 and 21-29. Perhaps he’s not the game manager I thought he is but just a guy that needs to play within certain parameters in order to get the job done. Once outside those parameters though it becomes a bit of a crapshoot as to which guy shows up.

My Hot Takeaway:

I’ll be surprised if Bell and Fournette don’t combine for 50 carries between them. The thing is, [whips out suddenly trusty phone calculator again] this gives the Steelers a significant advantage. Perhaps Fournette is wearing down a bit but he’s only averaging 3 yards per rush over his last eight games. Mr. “Don’t Franchise Tag Me, Bro” Bell has averaged 4.2 in his last seven. As the carries pile up, it’ll be Pittsburgh that will more easily get up and down the field.

What are you waiting for? Get it on, bang your gong!

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rockingdog

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blaxabbath

Have the Steelers ever had the logo on both sides of their helmets?

tomsellecksmoustache

Nope

CBQUE

No

blaxabbath

That’s pretty cool. I can’t think of anyone else who has done that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not that I recall.

ThePirateSloth

Maybe when they were the Steagles?

LemonJello

Refs get a call at halftime from NFL HQ?

“This isn’t how it’s supposed to go. Fix it.”

Brocky

Dan fouts just called that dirty play by juju “smart”.

….

blaxabbath

He must think JuJu is white.

King Hippo

Fouts is a real motherfucker

bk109

Damn, Fouts is making me miss Tony Romo

blaxabbath

So that was a poor call.

Good thing it favored the home team that is trailing by 2 tds…..

Mr. Ayo

Good call Triplette

theeWeeBabySeamus

JuJu!!!!!!!!!
hehehehehe…sorry but I find that hilarious.

...

SMASH THAT BUTTON

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fleshwound_NPG

Jeff Triplette, still not dead.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

…and here we go.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fucking dumbass.

rockingdog

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yea Fournette is back?

King Hippo

another defensing TD please

blaxabbath

Who is Evan Washburn? CBS get this dude on loan from E! Television?

...

Okay, what are the odds someone on the Jags brutally injures Brady rendering a New England victory purely pyrrhic?

rockingdog

Id say 65%

fleshwound_NPG

why is this not ever a strategy by teams, just kneecap his ass

bk109

Because what stops someone paying a perenial dumpster fire like the Browns to shank your QB’s or stars or mascot? Then we’ll end up with a Bortles – Keenum Super Bowl or someth.. ohhh… ballz

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If that happened the NFL would simply postpone the Super Bowl until he was healthy again.

LemonJello

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bk109

Mate, we had a winning season with Matt Cassel.. If anyone can polish a turd.. I mean turn Hoyer into a Super Bowl MVP, it’s our crack team of replay officials and coaches 😀

...

*sighs*

Yeah. Hope really is pointless.

bk109

Accept pain and you’ll get a free Manziel Browns jersey!

King Hippo

FLAG FOOTBALL IS BULLSHIT

blaxabbath

I feel like, if they didn’t already exist, “MLK Day Sales” would be shouted down as insensitive today.

Mr. Ayo

I love those deals!

-Jerry Richardson

...

So I turned on the TV when it was 28-7 and I gotta say I didn’t expect that.

I consider it a foregone conclusion no one will stop the Patriots because the NFL is fucking shit but what are the actual odds that the Jags can pull the upset?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ask me again in 15 minutes.

fleshwound_NPG

very low if fournette is dead

King Hippo

30%

CBQUE

I wonder if The Buffalo Bills are cursing their fate. I mean if only Kelly, Reed Smith and Thomas were in this AFC and going up against current NFC competition they might have won seven in a row.

blaxabbath

I like this new Lets Play Football campaign. It’s like, if the sport is just going to dissolve into social media posts of locker room speeches, working hard in drills, and a crowd of kids blowing up celebrating a trick catch in the school parking lot — I’m totally okay with this.

blaxabbath

I give Kevin Sumland exactly 4.0 seasons at UA and he will never turn Khalil Tate into a Heisman candidate.

CBQUE

HOW THE FUCK YA DOIN BOYS????!!!!! Kinda warming to the idea of Jacksonville shitting on Brady. That is if the league lets them do it.

LemonJello

Narrator’s voice: “They won’t.”

blaxabbath

You know that word ‘dashed’? Notice how it only shows up when it precedes ‘hope’?

CBQUE

We know. They will disqualify Myles Jack & Jalen Ramsey because they’re too athletic for them white dudes in New England.

bk109

Disqualify? Don’t be absurd.. We’d just get the endzone militia to fire off a couple of real salvos… “Accidents” happen after all…
Unrelated: So, with the constant promos for the Olympics and Pro Bowl.. do y’all reckon anyone that doesn’t give a shit will, y’know.. get interested in either?

Brocky

Alright, i got to make some story about god making the playoffs easy for new England, second year in a row:

2016: carr breaks his leg, houston beats oakland easily. Ne easily beats houston because of brock lobster. Bell gets hurt in the first quater against new England in the afccg. Atlanta runs the worst clock management in the history of football during the super bowl. Ne England gets a ring.

This year: titans slip past the chiefs due to andy reid, titans lose because they’re the fucking titans, ne gets either an injured jags team or an inconsistent pitt team, and a super bowl match up against 3 possible franchises with a combined 1 super bowl win.

I know it sounds like hyperbole, but They just don’t seem to face any other team at their best

CBQUE

This is deadly accurate. i said last night this was the worst AFC field I can ever remember. I mean even The Broncos in the 80’s had tougher competition

Viva La Tabula Raza

Maybe the NFL should make the Pats take the field with every player having one arm tied behind their backs.

blaxabbath

Goddamn, I made a good cup of coffee.

That’s a big thing for me.

LemonJello

With or without bourbon?

blaxabbath

just cream.

hint – i used too much.

bk109

Mornin’ gents, so err… is it weird that I’m actually concerned about us playing the Jugs next week?

King Hippo

at least one of your Stateside fellows agrees. I say Jaguras would have 30% shot.

blaxabbath

Thought BK109 was another canuck?

bk109

Irish (emphasis on ish, ’cause I’m one of those pesky eastern european emmigres you get warned about :p)

blaxabbath

So…..the Turks stealing all the Irish’s jerbs?

bk109

Actually Bulgarian (but you’re close – we were enslaved by those guys for like half a millenium).. and technically speaking, it’s American jobs I’m stealing, ’cause I work for a big US multinational that just loves our tax laws :p

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck it. $200 on Minny ATS (-4).

Viva La Tabula Raza
Horatio Cornblower

I just kind of assumed he was.

bk109

Yeah, the greasy ponytail is a dead giveaway… plus his general demeanor just screamscomment image

blaxabbath

No.

But you also need to indict the Hollywood producers who thought it was a good idea to make HIM a powerful star (it’s gonna be Weistein, huh?).

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fuck. Seen this show before. Steelers score at end of half and come out in second with the momentum and end up winning. I’ll finish this pitcher of margs before the end of the third and go take a nap.
Prove me wrong Jags, please.

Spur
King Hippo

Hit the over by halftime

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“4th and 11, thirty seconds left in the half…they’ll NEVER throw it deep!”

rockingdog

kind of genius!

tomsellecksmoustache

Harf harf, thank you!

-The Ben

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus that was even more ridiculous in slow-motion. Bryant was barely in the frame when Ben threw to the end zone.

blaxabbath

HOW WAS THAT A CATCH?!

rockingdog

ut oh

Spur

dammit

fleshwound_NPG

georgia bulldogs fans with PTSD after that throw

blaxabbath

Damn – how much credit for this JaX success goes to

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, well, well.
Maybe it’s not quite over after all.

Viva La Tabula Raza

well goddam.

King Hippo

oh Jeebus

Mr. Ayo

Why did PIT just burn 30 seconds? Do they not want a TD here?

Mr. Ayo

Never doubt the creative genius of Haley I guess.

blaxabbath

Just turned it on. Did I just hear the PIT boo birds?

Spur

nice cheapshot on Ben at the end of that sack.

LemonJello

SAXONVILLE!
clap clap clap-clap-clap

ThePirateSloth

Come on Dennis Leary. Stop doing shitty Ford Truck commercials and be funny again.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, Bill Hicks is dead so it’s not like Leary has any more material to work with.

ThePirateSloth

Fuck, I forgot about that entire mess.

Brocky

Was he ever funny?

I’m not being sarcastic. I really don’t think of him as being a comedy guy

Gratliff

Anything good he did comedy-wise has been permanently tainted by the Bill Hicks mess, except The Ref. That was tainted by Kevin Spacey. I loved Rescue Me, but it’s impossible to not side-eye him any time he tells a joke.

Horatio Cornblower

He had his moments, but he was notorious for ripping off other comics.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Denis_Leary#Controversies

Gratliff

I remember Louis C.K. going on O&A a while back and accusing him of stealing the whole asshole bit. Then he told him how Leary helped pay for a project of his, presumably out of guilt. Then female comedians talk about how Louis helped pay for their projects after yanking his dick in front of them, presumably out of guilt. What a circle of shit they have going out there.

Horatio Cornblower

Who are these Jagwires that Fouts is watching? They sound pretty good.

LemonJello

“What’s that now?”
-A. Reid

Viva La Tabula Raza

He probably says “nukular” too.

Mr. Ayo

War On Football: The Blake Bortles Memoir was just a working title anyway.

Spur

suck it Omar Epps!
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rockingdog

Oh no. tuck rule? oh god…..

Spur

added that “it”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Too Late!!!!!

– A. Rodgers

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