Your “I Hope You Like Field Goals” NFC Championship Open Thread

Don’t get me wrong-I think this will be a low-scoring, hard-fought tilt with plenty of hits and I’m all for it. What else do I be thinking? To know that we must go… TO THE GAME!

Minnesota/Philadelphia:

At long last more than a few denizens of The City of Brotherly Love will discover what it is like to throw up with a dog mask on their face. There won’t be any whips or the like involved but there could be a police baton or two making an appearance. Jason Kelce has informed the fans that there is some etiquette involved saying, “Remember, take off the mask before you spit on your buddy’s girlfriend. Manners are important!”

Injuries:

Safety Sendejo is out of concussion protocol and Adam Thielen is a go despite having ‘tiny cracks in his spine’.(?!) When you’re made of 100% grit these kinds of injuries are to be expected.

Matchup Mayhem:

Everson Griffin vs. Hal Vaitai: Hooo boy this won’t be pretty. Vaitai was ranked 47th out of 55 lineman in Pass-blocking Efficiency according to PFF. Griffin has 13 sacks so far and 61 pressures. Foles is a pocket passer that needs some protection. Does the qb have two consecutive non-Foles-ian games in him? We shall see…

Stats That Don’t Much Matter:

The Vikes have lost 5 straight NFC Championship games. They also have a 6-2 road record this year. The Eagles are giving up an average of 10.3 points per game at home since late October. Yikes. I guess it’ll come down to which qb makes the fewest mistakes. (shudders when he recalls Keenum’s ‘toss it up, see where it goes’ interception to Marcus Williams last week)

Bring your “A” game fellas and don’t forget to do your stretches!

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UnsurprisedtheeWeeBabySeamusSenor WeaseloBrettFavresColonoscopyWCS Recent comment authors
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The full-sized version is pretty big. https://gfycat.com/UnhealthyContentHoopoe
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The full-sized version is pretty big. https://gfycat.com/MiserlyScentedHomalocephale
The full-sized version at 2/3 speed: https://gfycat.com/ThatWigglyHyrax

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The full-sized version is pretty big. https://gfycat.com/ThoroughBraveBunting
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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

More Deborah Secco booty. https://pixxxels.org/gallery/25tcxthfa/

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What? No YOU walked into a door stone cold sober.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit Senor…20-10 SOG?
da Fuq????

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That seems like a lot.

Senor Weaselo

It’s the new style, give up a fuckton of SOG and see how it works out! (Spoilers: Poorly.)

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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[Ron Howard] It doesn’t.

yeah right

I have a garment bag where I keep my jerseys. It has my Andre Dawson jersey and my various Vikings jerseys. I gathered my jerseys including 2 Alan Page and my more recent Harrison Smith jersey and I laid the bag reverently on my bed, took the jerseys on their hangers and slowly zipped the bag up as if for internment then hung them back in the deepest corner of the closet where they will remain at rest until next year.

And now their watch has ended.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As is mine: I do not intend to watch any more football this season.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry dude. Sincerely.
They’ll be back next year.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Case, Teddy, or Sam next year?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d vote foar Teddy. Shop the other two out to the highest bidder and upgrade elsewhere.

Senor Weaselo

Does he get the heaviest-duty knee brace?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep.

Plus he’s got a brain in there unlike the other two.

Senor Weaselo

3 penalties taken, 3 power play goals given up. Fuck. Everything.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What channel? I’d like to witness someone else’s misery besides my own.
😛

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s kinda sad when one comes to the realization that they have now become their parent’s parent. In addition to being everyone else in the family’s parent.

And this is me we’re talking about people. I’m now the Patriarch. How fucking scary is THAT ????

Fucking A….I miss California even more now.

/happy thoughts

Wakezilla

Wait, do you have a kid?

theeWeeBabySeamus

A lot of them, actually. Though technically I didn’t make any of them directly.

WCS

That you’re aware of.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s one mistake I never made.
Trust me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not that it matters anymore.
I’m responsible for all the progeny my asshole brother made now.

Senor Weaselo

And then another fucking penalty.

Senor Weaselo

Aaaaaaand Ice Rammit’s tied it up with 2 PP goals.

Bugg
Bugg

Pablo Escobar’s hippos running amok-this was not in “Narcos” https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2016/05/160510-pablo-escobar-hippos-colombia/

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

I always wondered where Hippo was from! I wonder how he get’s internet out there, it looks pretty remote.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Colombia’s not that big. Just mountainous.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That depends on which actress plays her.

/that’s a Rocky Horror Picture Show joke.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Hippos are very charismatic animals and people love them. A hunting control was conducted but it caused a scandal.

What the fuck? Hippos kill far more people than any other land mammal.

Wakezilla

I see Philly fans have adopted the Donovan McNabb school of thought by celebrating their conference championship win like they just won the Superb owl

WCS

It’s closest thing their ever going to have to a title. Let them have it.

Senor Weaselo

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That album is excellent.

rockingdog
rockingdog

rockingdog
rockingdog

NFC champs anyone?

Col. Duke LaCross

I miss the Summerall/Madden booth.

WCS

This is Patriots tenth Superb Owl appearance, two more than the Stillers, Cowboys, and Donks.

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck them, fuck the NFL, fuck everyone and everything associated with this corrupt pile of horseshit.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Got reallllllyyyy high and found this…..

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Attention:

Testicles.

That will be all.

Horatio Cornblower

/Looks down

All present and accounted for!

Senor Weaselo

Well, it’s 2-0 Ice Giants, so so far so good.

Doktor Zymm

Okay, gonna Civ it up, later gators!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nite Dok.

Horatio Cornblower

Arnold Schwarzenegger is at this ski event, which is apparently in Austria.

He looks cold.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He got soft living in L.A.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Okie doke. I don’t do local news. Time to go cook dinner.
Thanks for a fun night folks, in spite of me losing out on a lot of moola. Doh!!!!!!

Wakezilla

Love this song

Horatio Cornblower

Oh, the Swiss are winning the skiing downhill thingie? Colour me surprised.
/Hippo took the Austrians and the points

Doktor Zymm

Hey, let’s badger each other while the patient dies, oh for fuck’s sake

Doktor Zymm

Oh dear God, the acting…..and the writing…
“We can’t she’ll die”
“scalpel”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Surgeons: A chance to cut is a chance to cure.
All non-surgeons: A chance to cut is a chance to kill.

Yes this is real in the medical academia field. Kinda like the two party system.

Doktor Zymm

I have no fucking clue what field The REsident or the Renegade Doctor are in. I get that Head of Surgery and Talented Minority Resident are surgeons, but the other two ain’t done surgery, just ER stuff.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Me neither. I stopped watching after the shitty stupid CPR scene.

I hate medical shows.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Are you watching ER or are you just watching something that is recycling old ER episodes?

Horatio Cornblower

I’m watching slalom racing.

If I were in charge of plotting out the race course I would put all the turns at the bottom so that the skiers would build up a huge head of steam and then have to brake like motherfuckers and start carving tight turns.

Doktor Zymm

What channel on? I dig skiing way more than I enjoy stabbing myself in the brain with shitty medical show premiers.

Horatio Cornblower

NBCSH.

Whatever the hell that is.

Doktor Zymm

OH HEY, NEW TwIST ON OLD CLICHE!! I WON”T SPONSOR YOUR VISA IF YOU DON’T LET ME KILL THIS PATIENT WITH THIS FANCY ROBOT SURGERY MACHINE!

Doktor Zymm

Conflicted. On one hand, this is a horrible show and I’m not enjoying it at all. On the other, I’m kind of intrigued about how many cliches they can hit. They’re on track for all and maybe making some new ones.

Senor Weaselo

Cliche bingo?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Let’s do some music.

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Let’s music some doo

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL.
I am NOT liking that.
Ahhh fuck it, yes I am.

Doktor Zymm

NON-TRADItIONAL TREATMENT BY RENEGADE DOCTOR WORKS AND HEAD OF SURGERY TAKES CREDIT!

BINGO!

Horatio Cornblower

WAS IT LUPUS!?!!?

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s ALWAYS Lupus….

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

This is the only time tonight I’ve seen a guy in an Eagles jersey get stopped.

https://www.reddit.com/r/eagles/comments/7s25fd/eagles_fan_gets_wrecked_by_pole/

Doktor Zymm

Yeah, fuck this shit. OMG MEDICINE IS MORALLY COMPLICATED!! OMG THERE IS A PROFIT MOTIVE!! OMG DOCTORS MAKE MISTAKES!! OMG DOCTORS AND NURSES WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING!!

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

you forgot OMG, THIS DOCTOR IS A JERK BUT HE IS STILL A GOOD DOCTOR

Doktor Zymm

it’S a twist! Both the good and shitty doctors are jerks!

WCS

The gay cop from True Detective season two is playing David Koresh in a mini-series.

The Waco siege was the first real media shitstorm.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Onion on my belt alert:

I saw that ad and said to lady BFC, “eh, I lived through the media coverage of that, I don’t need to watch the fucking miniseries.”

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

As much as I hate cops, he was a pedophile monster who deserved to die.

Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!
Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!

From the creator of Autistic Doctor, comes “Double Amputee Pilot”

Debuing tomorrow on CBS

Horatio Cornblower

Tune in next week to see if he gets the plane’s landing gear down before his own!

Doktor Zymm

What next? Someone has lupus? Renegade doctor tries a non FDA approved treatment while Resident clucks in disapproval? Resident learns a valuable lesson and comes to respect renegade Doctor, despite his unconventional techniques?

Romonobyl

Looks like you missed your calling.

WCS

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I will never understand why they didn’t have it turn out to be lupus in the last episode.

Doktor Zymm

OH AN HE NOT GIVING UP ON HER (and he got a heartbeat)

theeWeeBabySeamus

And yes, he’s right. She’s brain dead.

Doktor Zymm

Even if she wasn’t, she wasn’t exactly gonna have a great life *shrug*

theeWeeBabySeamus

Or worse….almost brain dead.
Ask my ex how much she enjoyed the last few years I gave her by “saving her life” with CPR which was performed very quickly upon no endogenous O2 perfusion.

If she could tell you, I suspect she’d tell you I shouldn’t have.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And then I got investigated for attempted murder even.

And you guys wonder why I’m as fucked in the head as I am.

WCS

I chalked it up to having to be a NC State fan…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hehehehehe.

Well that isn’t a plus, to be sure.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who’s wondering?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Your Mom.

(sorry, sorry….I regretted that one but clicked post before I could stop myself)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is this about the chode?

Horatio Cornblower

/makes mental note to rule out several categories of jokes going forward

theeWeeBabySeamus

Please don’t.
If I can joke about it so can you. That’s life.

theeWeeBabySeamus

TV CPR cracks me up every time.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That it doesn’t crack up the patients is what makes it funny is like the definition of irony.

Doktor Zymm

OH THE YOUNG RENEGADE DOCTOR IS HAVING A CONFRONTATION WITH THE HEAD OF SURGERY!! A DIABETIC HAD HIS tOE FALL OFF! THERE”S A HYSTERICAL IV DRUG USER WHO IS ALSO A HOT YOUNG WOMAN!

Gratliff

And the inevitable failure of planning
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck yo’ Crisco and fuck the popo.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Actually, if I’m gonna fuck the po-po, Crisco is going to be a critical component.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Nah, bro. Dry dog them raw.

Doktor Zymm

OMG HE’S TELLING HIM TO BREAK ALL THE RULES!! NOT A CLICHE AT ALL!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Given the sexiness of the main character, I had assumed that that show was basically going to be “Rex Grossman, M.D.”

Senor Weaselo

Doktor Zymm

That’ll probably be part of it, since he did make a sort of going deep joke….But as far as I can tell, it’s basically every medical show cliche mixed in with the occasional catty comment or edgy scene that’s supposed to make us think the writers are ‘with it’ but it’s not actually parody so it’s all out of place

blaxabbath

At least they can cut Keenum now.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s an above average tushy right there.

Wakezilla

I have no idea who that is, but respect the fact that she doesn’t skip leg day

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Her name is Deborah Secco, and this is from something called “Insensato Coração.”

Gratliff

People gettin’ happy
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Doktor Zymm

Fun Fact, you CAN set power lines on fire! After that they passed an anti-rioting ordanace in College Park

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

City of Philadelphia forgot that Crisco is fucking flammable.

WCS

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Senor Weaselo

All right Ice Giants, try not to put the cherry on top of this monumental shit of a day.
/Wait they’re playing Ice Rammit in LA? They’ll lose.

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