Your “We Are All Jags Fans Today” AFC Championship Game Open Thread

Are you ready? Last Sunday was oh-so-glorious and I’m not sure how it can be topped but the bowels of my being are telling me it will be. Perhaps that’s last night’s chili talking, I’ve no idea. What the heckfire am I waiting for? TO THE GAME!

Jacksonville/New England:

Some football fans down Florida way are talking about The Coughlin Effect transforming this team. “So what is The Coughlin Effect?”, you may ask. Well, as a Giants fan I can tell you it involves not wearing hats in meetings, setting the clocks in the practice facility five minutes ahead and treating any and all injuries with bloodletting-you know, basic crotchety old man stuff. I’ve no doubt that when he was first told that players were kneeling during the anthems his gut reaction was to foam at the mouth.

Injuries:

Tom Brady has some stitches in his paw-paw. Will he play? (yes) Will he wear a glove? (maybe) Will it affect his game? (no) Do I like question marks? (most assuredly)

Stratergizering:

Rumour has it that Adele would like to see Jalen Ramsay on the Gronkster but the Jags D usually covers te’s with a safety (Church/Gipson) or Myles Jack. Besides the fact that Ramsey is out-weighed by a good fifty pounds, what of Brandin Cooks? I can’t see the Jags pulling something special out of their game plan hat today.

Here’s a Problem:

Their names are Hurns, Westbrook, Cole and Lee. That’s not the name of a law firm, that’s the Jags receiving corpse. If the team falls behind by two scores it’s not going to be pretty. That said, I think the speedy Westbrook just might grab a TD on some sort of trickery dickery dock.

Old Adage is old:

War. Won. Trenches. You know how it goes but if Jacksonville’s d-line of Ngakoue, (another strip-sack maybe?) Campbell, Jackson, Dareus and Fowler play as they have been recently the timing that Brady & Co. depend so much upon will be jiggered and they’ll be out of their comfort zone.

Have at ‘er darlings-it’s all yours now.

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rockingdog
rockingdog

um……..does DFO have any field reporters? specifically in Philadelphia?

Bugg
Bugg

Even before the fumble, Penalties-

Jags 6 for 98 yards, Pats 1 for 10 yards Missed the refs at the trophy presentation; should they not get their due? or do they get BJs and envelopes of nonsequential Benjamins in the parking lot instead?

In fairness, did Nathaniel Hackett get his dad to call plays all 2nd half? Jets, Chiefs and several other fan bases recognized that.

Petronel

Old Man Bledsoe

Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!
Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!

I swear to God, Brady could take a team of me and next four commenters as the primary wideouts and go to the AFC championship.

MitchKissingTitsbisky
MitchKissingTitsbisky

So if the Eagles win it will be the most insufferable two piece of shit fan bases in the history of sports facing off or two weeks of Drew Magary self depreciating articles on deadpsin about how Minnesota is gonna break the fanbases heart. Super duper!

Duchess

Either way were getting two more weeks of PFTCommentator’s pandering to thge folks he used to be making fun of.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

THIS GAME I CALL ROGUE ONE BECAUSE WE ALL WATCHED IT AND WE KNEW HOW IT WAS GOING TO END

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I guess this was an even week after all.

Sharkbait

Took until the 4th. Even quartet, even week. Coincidence?

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Brady going to promo his new line of Cherokee Hair tampons.

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

Nazis or The New England coaching staff, what’s the difference? Nothing.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

WHY AM I SO GODDAMNED CAPSLOCK ANGRY RIGHT NOW

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

OH WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT BRADY’S DISTANT GODDAMNED MINNESOTA RELATIVES WHO HAVE ALREADY SEEN HIM WIN FIVE GODDAMNED SUPER BOWLS BECAUSE THEY HAVE FUCKING TVS STOP TRYING TO PRESENT THIS IS AS SOME NOBLE FUCKING STORY

Duchess

But the Patriots are always the UNDERDOG!

makeitsnowondem

Fuck you, Buttchin.

Petronel

AWW big hug from Patricia

ThePirateSloth
ThePirateSloth

Even people who care nothing for NFL, hate everything New England.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

And let me tell you something about Gronk.

I actually don’t mind Gronk that much despite being a dumb jock with an occasional dirty streak and wish he played for a team that wasn’t so detestable.

blaxabbath

“We said whatever it takes….so we cheat!”

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

I’ll see you guys at the NFC championship thread. If you guys are still alive, that is.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

You know I said earlier there’s no person I wish CTE on more than James Harrison but honestly I want Brady to waste away in his 50’s pathetically.

Dick E. Phuck
Dick E. Phuck

I want him to be the victim of a Ridiculous Pyramid scheme, which looks very much like a real possibility with this Shady trainer.

Duchess

After the divorce and the class action lawsuits about his stupid magnet snake oil bullshit.

Duchess

Whelp it’s time to watch Ragnarok

SonOfSpam

Yeah, I just say “jacking off” but whatever.

makeitsnowondem

The actual end of the world, not the Marvel movie, right? Please say yes.

Duchess

No the Vikings world crash to pieces against the damn Eagles

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

And fuck Brady for not just letting himself lose his hair like the rest of us. I’m 33 and I’ve earned my grey and the spots it’s receded and I’m fucking embracing it.

Sharkbait

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MitchKissingTitsbisky
MitchKissingTitsbisky

You should be crying you fuck.

Gatoraids
Gatoraids

Best game of bortles career and can’t pull off a 4th quarter drive

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

God I fucking hate the Patriots so goddamned much.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Congrats Maestro.

The Maestro

Thank you, tWBS. I appreciate it!

The Maestro

YOUR HATRED SUSTAINS ME

SonOfSpam

Well, the winter roads sure don’t.

Old School Zero

You’re the worst Canadian I’ve ever heard of.

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