Your “Whose Bright Idea Was It To Leave tWBS In Charge?” Saturday Evening Open Thread

BeerGuyRob’s.  That’s who (Whose?  Whom?  Whut?).

Yep, BeerBoyBobby is a selfish bastard.  He decided he’d rather pawn off his responsibilities tonight.  Just to go watch wrasslin’.

I mean whut’s up with this, Canadia?????

But OK.  Fine.  I get it.  Trim and fit bodies in tights.  And a little sweaty.  And slapping up against one another.

(And those are just the guys!!!!)

In all seriousness, I hope he has a great time.  And I’m happy to sit in for him tonight.  But of course Imma do this….

Oh puhhhhllllease.  Don’t even give me those looks.  It’s as if you people just met me.  You all already know I’ve been looking for a way to win Alexa back for several months now.  Rob just gave me the platform.  You think Imma waste the chance??????

And can you even blame me??????

I bet that thing could crack walnuts. Or preferably…Deeznuts. Oooooof.

So whaddya say Alexa?  Can we give it another chance?  I mean the loving was good, right?

Well, it wasn’t THAT bad.  That hurts my feelings.  Sheeeeesh.

Don’t worry guys, I can win her back.  She’s worth the effort…just look….

See?  Noob Noob knows where I’m coming from.  So to speak.

I’ve Heard There’s A Coupla Games Tomorrow

Truth be told, Conference Champeenship Sunday has always been preferable to me over Superb Owl Sunday.  The reasons are simple…

  • Two games.
  • No non-football fans glomming on just for the party opportunity and thus ruining the experience.
  • Two games.
  • Few if any extra-shitty commercials just to catch the attention of the aforementioned glomming non-football fans.
  • Two games.
  • The games have historically been better than the Superb Owl games anyway.  At least up until recently.
  • Two games.

Did I mention, “Two Games”?

I even used to throw CCS parties back when people used to like me and I had friends.  Ahhhhh, good times.

From a Gamblor! perspective, the lovely and talented King Hippo  has dough riding on both contests (and just about every JV Hoopsball contest apparently, too!!!) but I can’t remember what/how much he put on which.  I’ll let him fill you in in the comments if he wishes.

For myself, I’ll be riding the Jaguras’ train to wealth and fame:

  • $250 on Jags’ moneyline at +360
  • $250 on Jags against the spread at +9.5

Those lines have narrowed considerably in the past few days (that means lotsa folks betting on the Jags, btw).  Yet I’m still considering doubling up on both bets even with the narrowed lines (I can still get ML +280 and ATS +7.5 if I hurry) but I’ve yet to decide.  I have  decided that I’m staying away from the o/u on that one, now at 45.5.  With TB12’s boo boo hand and Bortles being Bortles I could see it going either way, and it’s not worth the layout.

I am also considering dropping a little change on the Vikes ATS (-3), but haven’t pulled that trigger yet.  The moneylines are useless in that one.

Sportsball Stuff You Can Watch Tonight

NHL

  • Boston @ Montreal – 7:00pmEST – TV: NHLN

Full Schedule

 

NBA

  • Golden State @ Houston – 8:30pmEST – TV: ABC

Full schedule

 

NCAAB

Top25 on TV 2nite:

  • Baylor @ (10)Kansas – 6:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
  • Georgia @ (17)Auburn – 6:00pmEST – TV: SECN
  • (21)Tennessee @ South Carolina – 6:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
  • (13)Gonzaga @ Santa Clara – 8:00pmEST – TV: ATSN (whatever the hell that is)
  • Florida @ (18)Kentucky – 8:15pmEST – TV: ESPN
  • (16)Arizona State @ Cal – 10:30pmEST – TV: PAC12N

Full Schedule

On My Knees Begging

OK Alexa, last chance.  You wanna come over tonight and…

OWWW!!!!  MY SCAPULAS!!!!!!!!!

Fine then!!!  I don’t need you anyway!!!

Pssssst, hey Bella Twins.  My night suddenly just opened up.  How about you gals pick up a bottle of wine and head on over to the DFO Clubhouse and…

Well that’s just mean!!!

OK, I guess I’ll just have to drown my sorrows then.  All alone.

Drink ’em, smoke ’em and/or snort ’em if you got ’em.

And don’t forget to talk about it in the comments down there.

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theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I hope I dream of the Jags winning tonight and then my dreams come true tomorrow.

But I’d settle for non-garbage time Brian Hoyer tomorrow.

Unsurprised

Perfect note on which to leave the evening. https://gfycat.com/PrestigiousWelloffFrogmouth

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Gratliff

Lewis Black is discussing the shutdown on his live Q&A thing he does. May surprise you to know he has opinions.

http://www.lewisblack.com/live

Gratliff

Or he was, for about 30 more seconds before randomly jumping to another subject, as he’s wont to do.

Fronkenshteen

I still don’t get why Don Corleone knew Barzini would be the one who would assasinate Michael.

Unsurprised

When Barzini jokes about not having to make assurances as if they were lawyers, he was definitely thinking like one. Vito was explicit about how he would never break the peace, but given the circumstances of how the deal was made, what they knew about Michael, and what he figured they could gain in the immediate aftermath of Vito death (i.e. bringing all of his political and judicial contacts under themselves rather than allowing them to remain under Michael’s influence, which as Tataglia notes would just make him increasingly powerful over time as their power to keep law enforcement reined in would be needed as the drug trade expanded, meaning whoever controlled them not only had direct influence but could also point them wherever his enemies were), it just made more sense to kill Michael and bring his family’s assets and connections under the control of the commissione or Barzini alone than to continue to let him become more powerful.

I mean, in Part 2 he is representing all of the families in buying a piece of Cuba (Roth’s birthday cake may as well have METAPHOR written in frosting on it). It makes a lot more sense once you see Part 2 because of Roth being a stand-in for Meyer Lansky to really appreciate how much power Vito Corleone had being his partner through all of the first movie. Being the connection between the five families, the rest of the families across the country, and figures like Roth and organizations like them (and this also goes to Part 3 where the connections in Europe reach as far as the Pope himself – because they always have). Since Barzini was the de facto head of the five families and by extension the commissione itself, the most reasonable business decision is for him to control all of that and not Michael.

yeah right

I was watching the blue planet 2 thing on BBC and it was heartbreaking but at the same time life affirming because despite the damage that out horrible species has done to this planet there’s no way it won’t outlast us.
There will be penguin families and walrus families and blue heron families long after we leave our bloody stain on this rock.

SKOL.

Unsurprised

Yep. Tons of life came and went before us, and will come and go long after we kill ourselves off.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

All right, people, if there’s no liquor in your glass get some in there now please.

My grandmother passed away last night. The older she got, the cooler she got. I’ll be headed back east to say farewell next weekend, it looks like. The world has seen greater tragedies than a 91 year-old woman dying in her sleep, to be sure, but she will be missed.

[raises glass] Anne White, this one’s for you. Godspeed.

Mr. Ayo

Cheers to a long life!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[drinks to that]

Don T

I’m sorry man. Salud.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Cycle of life.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sounds like an awesome lady. Enjoy celebrating her life with other loved ones.

WCS

Cheers for Mrs. White.

Unsurprised

¡Salud!

yeah right

God bless her soul.

ballsofsteelandfury

My condolences, RTD. Glad she lived a full life and didn’t suffer at the end.

Brick Meathook

Condolences

Fronkenshteen

Why wasn’t Clemenza in Godfather 2?

Unsurprised

The actor demanded more money than the producers were willing to pay.

Unsurprised

I wouldn’t have believed him to flip like Frankie does if he had been in it, though. So it was probably for the best.

Unsurprised

I should go back and look into doing a DFO podcast again with the bits and such.

ballsofsteelandfury

Drunken ramblings are always fun!

Doktor Zymm

As much as I hate Apple’s design philosophy (their OS is basically just a pretentious skin that hides or disables all the useful features of the underlying UNIX) at least their shit is mostly stable. When was the last time Microsoft released something that didn’t just break all sorts of shit? I’m currently rolling back the Windows Fall Creators Update on my main comp because the update broke the damn display adaptor. Apparently this is a very common problem, the update causes “confusion” about refresh rates and resolutions.

Gratliff

As a person who still has to deal with one fucking school that won’t let the Apple bullshit go, slow the fuck down on Apple updates not breaking shit. The rest is acceptable. Microsoft keeps breaking my shit, including pushing 1709 to my golden image which I didn’t see until the option to roll back had passed, and which breaks sysprep. So I had to rebuild our enterprise image from scratch. Cunts.

Doktor Zymm

Fair, I’ve only ever used Apple products at work, so I’m likely shielded from any maintenance awfulness.

And rollback is done! And now it’s complaining that it couldn’t finish installing updates….NO SHIT

Gratliff

It won’t matter. It’ll get pushed again. In fact, in an enterprise environment with WSUS enabled, it’ll enable a second check bypassing WSUS just to see if you’re giving them all the updates they want you to give them. I had to completely eliminate WSUS and windows update and switch to SCCM pushing update packages to get it to behave itself.

Brick Meathook

This is why Airbus sucks. If it ain’t Boeing I ain’t going.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What’s wrong with Arby’s?

Unsurprised

They have the meats. Leave some for the rest of us.

Spur

Why is Nick Young on the court for the Warriors? Is it his birthday?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Welp, my mom just texting me asking what a chode is. Really wish I was drinking…

herodotus450

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ballsofsteelandfury

Taint for him to answer…

herodotus450

Some people think it means a comically wide penis. And could be spelled choad.

Doktor Zymm

People still say chode?!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Apparently it was in a dirty word coloring book my sister got her.

Spur

Nice Bitch-off between KD and CP3.

herodotus450

I award 0 points to CP3 for his performance

Spur

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Spur

KD is the worst. No one likes you Durant.

JustStopDude

Holy shit, don’t ever mention that Johnny Manziel is not solely the cause of all the Browns problems on twitter because if the biggest Browns message board guy who runs their twitter account can see if you are black, he will use the N-word towards you a LOT.

herodotus450

“…don’t ever…B…e…on twitter…”
Definitely words to live by

JustStopDude

I got to say…as shitty as Peter King or the random assholes that ESPN gives three hour shows to…at least they can go without using the N-word.

The hilarious thing, the person that runs this twitter account has complained in the past that the Browns and the NFL will not give him credentials.

By the way, this is what I said….

“To blame Manziel doesn’t make sense to me. This organization’s problems go back multiple season before him. Besides….if anyone had to QB this team…you’d expect them to drink”

Twitter, and sports media in general…is the fucking worse.

ballsofsteelandfury

Those people don’t say the N word ON CAMERA.

Big difference.

Gratliff

Let’s not forget Rush Limbaugh is an ESPN alum

Doktor Zymm

That does not surprise me in the least. The Fucking Midwest.

Spur

here come the gutless Rockets i know.

herodotus450

Today is one of those days where I’m just killing time until it an acceptable hour to go to bed. That makes 20 such days for the year!

Mr. Ayo

You need an unhealthy alcohol habit. Then bedtime will come to you.

Unsurprised

Hooray for depression!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I thought I’d crash for a couple hours last night and get up later to check and see if had to go to work on Monday. Laid down for a nap at 745 PM, woke at 100 PM and checked the news and saw I was fucked, and slept till 745 AM this morning. Kinda liked getting almost 12 hours of sleep. Of course, I’m gonna have plenty more opportunities for excessive sleep until the congress gets their shit together.

Spur

i suggest you invest in a new mattress. it’s gonna be a long slumber.

Unsurprised

Maybe DFO could get Casper to sponsor us.

Spur

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blaxabbath

I think I’m just gonna unload my remaining crypto currency holdings.. I don’t have much and it’s ahead so, even though “experts say it could hit $200K” I’ll take that risk.

Or should I wait to see what the shutdown does to it first.

Gratliff

Bitcoin or one of the goofy ones that actually has some semblance of stability? Please answer in the form of an SSN.

Romonobyl

“Oh, and we’ll need to reset the PIN on your debit card. If you could please forward that as soon as possible.”

Unsurprised
blaxabbath

Is it comedians getting coffee in enterprise rent a cars.

Gratliff

Joel McHale ehhhhhhhh

Spur

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Spur

This houston -Golden State game is heating up.

Romonobyl

Even though I just slammed Houston, I hope they beat the piss out of the roundball Patriots.

Spur
Romonobyl

How, or why?

Unsurprised

It was a very clandestine operation.

Redshirt

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Unsurprised

Go Jags!

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Romonobyl

Those seem nice.

ballsofsteelandfury

I feel that King Hippo should do an Intro to Gambling class/post in the same vein that tWBS did one with pot.

Redshirt

I just want to know where I can bet in Ohio. With Casinos/Racinos business dropping, you think they would make a killing with opening a floor for sports betting.

50 TVs and a bar, and that place would make a killing.

blaxabbath

There’s a weed post here?

Unsurprised

Hi

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ballsofsteelandfury

Jesús!!

Romonobyl

This is why I’m glad I never had a daughter.

Romonobyl

MAAAAAKEOUUUUUUT!!!!!!

Romonobyl

Evening campers.
I just got back from a 2 day road trip up north a-ways for my stepson’s wedding. I love the man and it looks like he hooked up with a really nice woman, but I can only bring one thing back from my little adventure.

FUCK HOUSTON WITH A RUSTY SPUR FROM THE HORSE OL’ SAM RODE IN ON ALL THOSE YEARS AGO!!!!

No offense to those who hail from H-Town, but I have no patience for that psycho circus. I’ve been there a number of times and it’s always been a logistical nightmare. This is a big fucking city, I mean really big, but there is no form of mass transit in any form other that buses. No train, subway, monorail, dirigible…nothing. This means everybody is on the road at all hours, and being Texas that usually means big-ass lifted pickup trucks. Really useful for that drive to the Credit Union, those speed bumps can be brutal.
We hit downtown at 5:00 on Friday afternoon, the perfect storm of bad fucking timing. Houston can’t go for 15 minutes without a major accident on a major roadway, I can’t believe the town hasn’t died off from freeway attrition alone. Needless to say every road was a parking lot, and Google Maps was getting ridiculous with the “better route” recommendations. Three times it said to take an exit only to get right back on the freeway at the next ramp. Stupid, sexy GPS.
We were late of course, but still had a great time. I got a pretty good buzz courtesy of the open bar, just enough to impress my son (younger than my stepson) with my dancing skills to Uptown Funk. All it takes is a few glasses of free Merlot to diminish my more Anglican characteristics. I also caught my son taking a shot. He’s of age and wasn’t driving, but that was still a bit of a jolt. I’m not gonna be a hypocrite about it, but I do see a carefully worded lecture in the near future.

tl;dr? Fuck metropolises, I’ll take my mid-sized any day. It has almost everything I need/want and I can get to it on less than half a tank of gas. /endrant

ballsofsteelandfury

That sounds wonderful/awful. At least LA is not humid…

Romonobyl

I thought I lived in the most humid place on dry land, then I spent a week in New Orleans during July.
I’ve never struggled so hard just to inhale, and sweating serves no purpose.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve lived in Houston twice, once in 1979 and once in 1995. I’d rather jack off a mad lion than ever live in Houston again.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Senor Weaselo

Due to technical difficulties we’re taking an intermission halfway through Act 1 of Fiddler… we’re gonna be here until midnight, shit.

ballsofsteelandfury

Government shutdown the Fiddler?!?

Gratliff

Matchmaker is not an essential service

Gratliff

My Ukrainian blood is outraged at the lack of love this got.

Unsurprised

As someone who could benefit from one, but who is a miserable and hate-filled bastard, I’m okay with this.

Senor Weaselo

No, that’s the end of Act 2.
/Do I have to say spoilers?

Unsurprised

I love that song. Gwen Stefani rules!

Gratliff

One of the many ways I tortured my ex-wife was to sing the original over that fucking song any time it came on. It turns out you can joke your way out of a marriage.

Redshirt

Is this like that one performance of “Wicked” where at the end of “Defying Gravity”, the actress playing Elphaba doesn’t get fully on the platform and hangs from the elevated platform in an ironic finale to the song.

Redshirt

Sadly the video was taken down so we don’t get to hear “No, she’s has nothing to do with it. I’m the one you want! Its me! ♫ Its meeeeeaahhhhh!!!!! ♫

But to Kerry Ellis’s credit, once they got her down, she knocked it out of the park once they restarted from where they stopped. Probably to make up for the “no fly” and the 20 minute stoppage where they had save her green ass.

blaxabbath

When I was young we lived at the base of the Sierra Nevadas down from Tahoe. This weather I’m enjoying tonight is exactly like the mid-late fall weather we had back there.

It’s great. Now I’m packing a bowl and listening to the pecans getting blown off the tree onto my porch roof.

Horatio Cornblower

Just heard on UFC prelims “And you’ve gotta think his next fight will be against someone else, (pause, then realizes how dumb that was), …in the Top 10.”
/interior voice: “Yeah! Nailed the save!”

Gratliff

That music video they made for it last year bothers me in some way, but I’m not sure why. Kind of reminds me of the “Best Of You” video in that way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYcyacLRPNs

King Hippo

from top of Sportsbook page:

Fresno State v Air Force is postponed due to Government Shutdown

LMFAO

blaxabbath

Surprised the Nazi/Confederate/Patriots on the Right didn’t jam through legislation that Academy Sports are an essential government function.

Spur

Gross, i have to root for the Rockets. I hope Chris Paul punches KD in his gash.

Don T

I still dig inspirational posters.
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Spur

i found i fuck more when i have drugs.

Redshirt

If the “Day After Tomorrow” was fact checked.

Climatologist Dad: “Son, you must stay indoors. The new Ice Age has created a land hurricane with an eye all the way into the stratosphere.”
Student Son: “Oh no, how cold will it be?”
Climatologist Dad: “26°F.”
Student Son: “Uh, okay. I guess I’ll bundle up then if I have to go outside.”

Spur
Spur

with the shithole shutdown, this means no flyovers tomorrow, right?

Gratliff

Is there any other way?

Redshirt

Don’t scare me like that, tWBS. I thought something happened to Alexa.

Spur

Folks

blaxabbath

Has anyone done that spray-in insulation in their attics? Seems pretty easy enough, but just was curious on any firsthand accounts.

Gratliff

I mean, if you’re concerned with her warmth, there’s always fire

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Just stop spraying when you feel your ass get warm

Redshirt

So I had sat down with the parents just to talk. We all left depressed about our lives.

Learn from this, everyone.

King Hippo

It’s like how you can never have a disease if you don’t go to the doctor and get diagnosed. Unless you can get good pain pills out of the deal.

Just keep them pesky feelings buried down deep where they belong.

blaxabbath

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING MAN?!?!?!!

Redshirt

Dinner was ready, than my father who’s not long for the world, said we rarely ever sit down as a family and talk. It was the Living Room so I couldn’t distract him with sports or Law & Order.

Senor Weaselo

I read that as you had the talk with your parents and I was rather confused.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m hungry. What’s for dinner?

Redshirt

(pumps shotgun)

“Whatever I hit.”

King Hippo

remember, Recovering Republican imaginary friend you were with us the whole time and seemed TOTES FINE

Redshirt

It may be the Doctor Who binge I’m in the middle of, but I prefer Regenerating Republican. As if the Republican body is currently poisoned and must change into a new form to survive.

Unfortunately they are taking the page out of the Master’s book and is refusing to change only just to spite us.

Spur

leftover steak

Gratliff

Goddamn it. Almost an entire day left before the good footballing begins. I’m so bored.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG_PijBia7I

King Hippo

just imagine how next weekend feel. I been binge betting and reading. FUCKING READING!!

King Hippo

MOAR moneylines!

$100 on Evansville (+165) they’s just playin’ ME FFS
$100 on Cal (+410) LMAO Sparky
$216 on Cowbells (+200) I like they coach, FUCK OFF

King Hippo

+410

to bet against Sparky ON THE ROAD.

King Hippo

Stanford pissed me off and I want mah moneys back. NOW!

Unsurprised
Game Time Decision

Can any one explan or point me to where I can go to read up on what the hell the gambling stuff means. Other than spread and over under i have no clue

Gratliff

It means that DFO provides gambling addiction orgs with all the grant-writing material they could ever need

King Hippo

For example, ML +360 – means you are betting on the underdog to win outright. The bet pays off 3.6 to 1 if said underdog wins. Since I think JAX has at least 30% chance at Glorious Victory (in fact, think this 30% chance comes good, there’s the “feel” element), this is a super mathematically correct play.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“WE’LL DO A PARLAY FUCK IT”

King Hippo

just NO eye contact, goddamnit!!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“What’s ‘The Dream of the Blue Turtles against the spread’? I don’t get it.”

King Hippo

that is, a wager of $200 returns $720 in profit with a Jaguras win (along with your $200 back).

The same $200 ATS (against the spread) likely brings back about $182 in profit (minus the 10% “juice” the Sportsbook takes out).

Now, sometimes the ATS won’t be exactly -110 (10% juice) and that changes the math a little. But if it’s, say -105 for JAX, it will be -115 for NE, etc. Always “averages” -110.

Game Time Decision

Thank you. That helps

King Hippo

chuh chuh

Trying to bet fucking Lesser Footy, ice footy, or el beisbol makes my head hurt. Thusly, I only understands Greater Footy and college hoopsball.

But come World Cup season, I have a strong Chechnya feel…

rockingdog

So the women’s march was today?
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rockingdog

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Game Time Decision

Not a doctor but think she may have a problem…..

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

“I HAVE IBS GO BROWNS”

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I’m glad people were happy and took photos.

Even have those cute pink hats too!

Unsurprised

Performative politics is awesome.

King Hippo

sign seen today in Raleigh, apparently “Nobody can regulate me but Warren G”