Don’t get me wrong-I think this will be a low-scoring, hard-fought tilt with plenty of hits and I’m all for it. What else do I be thinking? To know that we must go… TO THE GAME!
Minnesota/Philadelphia:
At long last more than a few denizens of The City of Brotherly Love will discover what it is like to throw up with a dog mask on their face. There won’t be any whips or the like involved but there could be a police baton or two making an appearance. Jason Kelce has informed the fans that there is some etiquette involved saying, “Remember, take off the mask before you spit on your buddy’s girlfriend. Manners are important!”
Injuries:
Safety Sendejo is out of concussion protocol and Adam Thielen is a go despite having ‘tiny cracks in his spine’.(?!) When you’re made of 100% grit these kinds of injuries are to be expected.
Matchup Mayhem:
Everson Griffin vs. Hal Vaitai: Hooo boy this won’t be pretty. Vaitai was ranked 47th out of 55 lineman in Pass-blocking Efficiency according to PFF. Griffin has 13 sacks so far and 61 pressures. Foles is a pocket passer that needs some protection. Does the qb have two consecutive non-Foles-ian games in him? We shall see…
Stats That Don’t Much Matter:
The Vikes have lost 5 straight NFC Championship games. They also have a 6-2 road record this year. The Eagles are giving up an average of 10.3 points per game at home since late October. Yikes. I guess it’ll come down to which qb makes the fewest mistakes. (shudders when he recalls Keenum’s ‘toss it up, see where it goes’ interception to Marcus Williams last week)
Bring your “A” game fellas and don’t forget to do your stretches!
https://twitter.com/SubwayCreatures/status/955274346997657600
I wish the compassionless laughter could be embedded in the gif as well
I know most of you are disappointed (to put it mildly) that the P*ts are going to the SB yet again, and I have refrained from posting annoying P*ts-fan shit talk here because I am not that guy, but the day is over and I’m bitter that I am out of work for the time being, so please indulge me this one parting shot.
Night all.
Rub that shit in our face. We would if the roles were reversed.
Agreed. I don’t mind one bit.
it’s okay, we know you’re one of the “good ones”
hope they pay you for the shutdown!
Can’t wait until you ask us all for references for your next job interview.
Ok,I already don’t really care for this doctor show
“Don’t die one me!”
“He is so dead”
Really?!
My wife is a registered nurse, associate professor at a nursing college, and did 24 years as an Army nurse and knows what being under fire is like. She finds most of the TV medical programs a source of comic relief.
Same with lawyers and legal shows. That’s what made Boston Legal the best is that it just ran with that shit into full-blown insanity. I’m not a huge David E. Kelley fan, but he was a lawyer and knows how boring the job really is even if you just focus on hyper-dramatic cases every week.
“That means she’s at least 24! Disgusting!”
-Judge Roy Moore
Goddamn it. I thought Chris Berman was dead. Why is he on ESPN again?
Because humanity is a failed experiment.
PRIMETIME! WOOP!
I know this isn’t going to be the superbowl matchup many of you wanted, but think of it this way. No matter how the SB turns out, you’ll get to see one team you hate lose and upset it’s fans.
And in the end, isn’t that what football is all about?
I appreciate the sentiment, but I don’t hate the Eagles and their fans enough for that to work.
Ditto. I like their passion; they remind me of Jets fans at the draft.
But if they win, my wifes gay uncle who looks down on the idea of enjoying sports but likes to “win” will suddenly bust out his “I’m from Philly” card and suddenly want to bandwagon.
So this sb is a no-win for me.
So how does this Super Bowl thing work on the West Coast? Do I just miss the first half cause it’s during the middle of the day and I have productive shit to do? What do I do afterwards when it’s still way before bed time?
Um, what is this “productive shit” of which you speak?
The thing about football in the West is that it starts early usually, which is good, but you’re waiting if it’s just prime time or SB action. It’s weird, kinda like thanksgiving. Gotta stay busy during the day…but not so much that you aren’t done at 2:30p.
It is annoying. I’m gonna try to be camping or spaing that weekend.
Um…..does DFO have any field reporters?
specifically in Phli?
Goodnight all, might not watch the super bowl, will still live blog though. Oh who am I kidding, I still can’t resist football even though I absolutely can’t stand both teams. If you put a gun to my head I’d probably have to root for the Eagles.
Poor Hippo’s thoughts column is just going to be his Chapter 7 filing.
Confetti apparently fuckes up my HD stream
All glory to god, but what about Wentz who got your team there, sport?
Who do you think he meant?
“All glory goes to Ba’al. I am your humble servant.”
– Bill Belichick
Ba’al nothing as gritty as your desert gods
Go cataclysm!
Look at all those Eagles fans cheering for the economy!
Well, we still made it almost 1000 posts to God Bless us for shitposting through it all.
And really, no love for chicken bondage?
Is it too late to call in the meteor strike?
Not if the meteor is big enough.
oh terry
oh no
Oh man, I can’t WAIT until next Raiders season
I think the eagles owner doesn’t know the words to their song.
Deus Ex, Fallout, or Civ? Or other?
Get that good Civ 6 going
Deus Ex all the way. Although, New Vegas is a close second.
Civ and you can play as the Vikings to have them win
And the Aztec special unit is the Eagle Warrior, lol!
Terry, did you not think they’d sing the entire song?
OH TERRY SHUT UP PLEASE
Well that was disappointing.
Showing up doesn’t get you Miss Congeniality points guys.
So I guess it’s back to being Teddy’s team?
Condolences, my man.
What a shit Superb Owl this is going to be.
I would root for a meteor but I love the fucking building.
So, Sarin gas?
I heard they were going extra insulated in case of cold.
Carbon monoxide might work.
I’ll volunteer Dave’s tailpipe.
Wait, that sounds different than I intended.
Teddy! Teddy!
This game is like a Kink.com fantasy gone horribly wrong.
Or right, depending on your preferences.
Preferences and/or team hatreds
Hey Gratliff, don’t forget I picked the Eagles!
“Duracell player of the game.” Is Joe Buck trolling right now?
FLY IGGLES FLY
It’s nice that the announcers try to be civil to the losing coach instead of just chanting ‘LOOOOSER LOOOSER’ when he’s on camera
Who has two thumbs, didn’t watch a second of football this weekend, and went 2-2 in the picks?
…If there were two games how’d you go 2-2? Oh, wait, you mean 2/2.
No he means 2 minus 2 so zero.
Nobody because there were only two games.
Who has two thumbs and can do addition?
There are three kinds of people, those who can count and those who can’t.
No no, there are 10 types of people, those who know binary and those who down’t
That’s always been a fav of mine. I love watching redneck’s brains melt down.
so….you achieved something that 25% of people would do?
25% assumes people watched the games.
No, it assumes they picked randomly
Or..you know, basic probability
Still prefer burn it all.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZcoqR9Bwx1Y
All-time gaming banger right there
And you gotta work for it!
The NFC Championship Trophy looks like something you’d find in your basement a few years later and say, “oh, this fucking thing”, and just throw it in the scrap metal pile.
“Hey, my son spent 3 hours working on that!”
-The person’s basement.
Baby Boomers really did go out of their way to make themselves feel better as parents.
Iggles do the equivalent of emptying the benches.
I guess I’m pro-Eagles now.
Welcome my internet friend!
Your faith is misplaced.
I didn’t say I had any faith in them.
Truly, you are one of us
I was afraid of that.
My bad, but just know that this will only end in the most bullshit, infuriating way possible. No Blowouts, just more Patriots Super Bowl fuckery.
These new conference trophies are kinda stupid-looking – I liked the old ones better. Like you could kill somebody with ’em.
I know, the NFL got so goddamn generic since Goodell. I mean, look at the goddamn Super Bowl logos.
A thousand times better than this art deco horseshit
Fuck, King Dilly Dilly, just have your magician turn the opposing army into Bud Light.
King Dilly Dilly is more Doug Marrone than he is BiIl Belichick.
That would make sense. Instead, he will tragically try to use Bud Lighte as a disinfectant and everyone dies.
Obviously, the army scene is a prequel, and he didn’t have the magician yet. It’s like you know next to nothing about the DIllyverse
Yeah, I get confused when shit isn’t presented to me in chronological order. It took me three tries to get through Catch-22.
This could be problematic then, although some (maybe all) copies have a “play it in order” mode that solves the problem at the expense of some of the suspense.
Still haven’t got around to watching that, maybe I’ll have a chance while I’m sitting around during the shutdown this week.
Eh, just read my Trent Green edition of Request Line. It’s basically the same thing.
DFO prophecy!!
I really hope the Dilly-dilly Kingdom gets cut to fucking ribbons.
None of you motherfuckers picked the Eagles. I love every minute of this.
As is your right.
I never expressed an opinion as much as I expressed hope 😛
Gotta say though, credit where it’s due, doing much better without Wentz than I expected. Hope it’s at least a watchable SB.
In my defense, Nick Foles
Hey, I DID!!
Congrats man.
Considering the SB is in Minneapolis, I think it would be hilarious if the Vikes show up and take the field anyway.
WHAT???? FUCK YOU ALL WE DON’T REMEMBER THAT GAME IN PHILLY!!!!!!!
Sendejo wouldn’t even be lying
This is just fantastic. I am very happy. I am not used to this feeling.
I stand corrected. Foles is an assassin.
Alright — chili is wrapping up; cobbler in the oven; cornbread waiting to take the oven.
I’m no Conference Championship participant but I’ll live.
One more Nintendo query, for those old enough.
Did anyone rescue the Princess in the original Mario Bros without using the cheats? I never came close.
I did. I never could figure out the multiple 1-ups by jumping on the turtle cheat.
I couldn’t pull it off.
I recall a friend of mine beating the game in college. I don’t recall him using any codes, but there’s a good chance I was drunk so don’t quote me.
Of course.
I think I did. I know I explored every world, so that would stand to reason.
Yes. Though I found that 8-1 and 8-3 were a bitch though. 8-1 was that max jump then another jump. 8-3 just threw everything else at you that’s outside. It was the perfect 8-bit representation of “You right outside the main castle.”
yeah, on one life. the second go around the goombas were the helmet guys.
“Please be okay, Barr…”
– Justin Blackmon, still not watching the game
“Bar is fine”
–Blake Bortles
I’ve moved on to intentionally pulling out my nose hairs.
Don’t flirt with trichotillomania, dude. It sucks.
What can Hippo get for Nick Foles, SB MVP?
An awkward erection?
Case Keenum and steep regression. Name a more iconic duo.
Minnesota Vikings and playoff heartbreak.
Buffalo Bills and Superb Owl fail?
Steeply regressed players and the Arizona Cardinals.
4:46 and Out: the new fusion jazz album by Case Keenum and Steep Regression
Hehehehe….that was funny as hell.
I know we just put up a new banner, but, you guys, (points up)
Totally agreed.
Domestic violence and the Cowboys?
How would NO have faired tonight?
Maybe better than YES
I don’t know about that, at least they wouldn’t disgrace themselves.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o1nw-G4_bVk
It’s a pretty low bar, but I bet that they’d have done more than lose 38-7.
Nice job there by Keenum getting intercepted twice on one pass.
You can give him his beer back now.
Figures.
Just checked the score. This got out of hand.
May PHI fans represent us well.
So, finally a Super Bowl where I wouldn’t feel awful about pretending to root for the Pats, and not only have I moved out of Chicago and therefore am in much less contact with Pats Fan, but he’s also kinda stopped watching football over the last couple years.
No!
One of us, One of us.
I don’t know; wouldn’t you rather just given up and live in the Matrix and be comfortably numb?
If you had a Game Genie, you can line up to eat my ass.
I prefer syrup
i had a notebook full of codes
Hey! You try beating Zelda II without it!