Your “Hey There’s Football Today…Wait Sorry, Nope” Sunday Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

Of all of the major professional sports, the NFL’s All Star game, the Pro Bowl, has become the biggest joke of all IMHO.  And yes, I’m including the NBA in that.  Jeebus.

But they are still playing it apparently, and some of us will probably watch it.  And I’m using the royal “us” there.  I won’t be watching it.

But here’s some information about it anyway.

AFC vs NFC – 3:00pmEST – TV: ABC/ESPN

Coaches: Mike Tomlin (AFC) and Sean Payton (NFC)

Team Rosters

Rules which differ from real NFL games (and some are very significant, btw), to try to prevent injuries:

  • No motion or shifting by the offense
  • Offense must have a tight end in all formations
  • Offense may have 1 or 2 receivers on the same side
  • Intentional grounding is legal
  • Defense must run a 4–3 at all times, though the Cover 2 and press coverage is allowed
  • No blitz
  • No blindside or below the waist blocks
  • Can not rush punts, PATs or FG attempts
  • Two timeouts per period. If team has one unused timeout left over at end of the odd period they can carry over to next period; however they can not carry over from one half to next, nor from 4th period into first overtime.
  • Coin toss determines who receives first; loser receives to start 3rd period
  • Kickoffs are eliminated (including free kicks)
  • Teams will start on their own 25-yard line after any score or at the start of each half/odd overtime
  • 38-second play clock to run plays
  • Clock will not stop on sacks outside last 2 minutes of regulation/4th overtime
  • Clock stops in last 2 minutes of each period when team with ball can not gain any yardage. Exception applies to team in the lead in 4th period, who can let their QB kneel down and use up the leftover time to win it.
  • 44-player roster per team
  • Clock starts after incompletions on referee’s signal outside last 2 minutes of 2nd period/2 OT or last 5 minutes of 4th/4 OT

If you want to read more about it, you can here, here and here.  But like I said.  It’s a joke and it’s not football.

Which is why I’ll be watching Hockey and College Basketball today.

NHL

NHL All Star Game – 3:30pmEST – TV: NBC

Probably the most fun All Star format going, IMHO.  3 on 3 hockey, and it’s three, three, three games in one.  Each game consists only two periods lasting only 10 minutes each.

  • Game 1 – 3:30pm – Central Division vs Pacific Division
  • Game 2 – 4:30pm – Metropolitan Division vs Atlantic Division
  • Game 3 – 5:30pm – Winner Gm1 vs Winner Gm2

NBA

On TV:

  • Phoenix @ Houston – 3:30pmEST – TV: NBATV
  • Philly @ OKC – 6:00pmEST – TV: ESPN

Full Schedule

NCAAB

Top 25 on TV:

  • (1)Villanova @ Marquette – 1:00pmEST – TV: FOX
  • (6)Michigan State @ Maryland – 1:00pmEST – TV: CBS
  • (3)Purdue @ Indiana – 3:30pmEST – TV: FOX
  • Tulsa @ (17)Wichita State – 6:00pmEST – TV: CNSSN
  • (18)Clemson @ Georgia Tech – 6:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU

Full Schedule

Oh, and speaking of college basketball, this happened yesterday…

Suck it you cheating bastards.  And in two weeks, we’re gonna kick your ass again.

As an aside, as UVa was downing Duke in Durham, some of you might recall that I predicted the storyline would be when was the last time Duke and U*NC both lost at home on the same day?

Yep, yep and yep.  And there’s more than that, trust me.  And it was all over the local broadcast sports reports last night too.  Those poor bastards were practically crying.

But I can’t take credit for being smrt on this one.  Sports journalism is lazy and predictable, unfortunately.

OK, I’m done with my shameless NC State plug now.  Go watch something.

And remember to talk about it in the comments.  Unless you watch the Pro Bowl.  Because then I’ll have to make fun of you.

(just kidding…probably)

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Who’s the hardest working man in show business? Is it me?

Wakezilla

Oh man, that Women’s Royal Rumble was bitter sweet. I’m guessing Asuka takes on Ronda, Sasha fights Bayley, and Alexa fights Nia Jax and Charlotte fights, I dunno, let’s say Moe.

Big ups to the WWE for not changing camera views when they had Kelly Kelly’s vag on screen when she was clinging onto the ropes

yeah right

I love movies for many reasons and I love the Academy for recognizing them. As an informed, evolved and hopefully enlightened species you should be watching the nominations for best documentaries. The best movies I’ve seen this year come from that category.

Last men in Aleppo is required viewing. As is Icarus.
This is not an elective course.
Show your work.

Gratliff

So Ronda Rousey showed up. So I guess we’re actually doing this bullshit.

JerBear50
JerBear50

Ha! Have fun with that because she’s all yours now. No chance she comes back to the UFC when they’ve got Cyborg under contract and she can’t duck fighting her anymore. I’d love to see Santos just wear her ass out.

Gratliff

Looks like she signed a full-time contract. So she’ll be exclusive there. Guess she’s getting out while the getting’s good. Of course, her buddy Shayna Baszler actually worked her way up the indies and got to WWE-level on her own. So I’m extra annoyed at her skipping ahead of the line so I can watch her be as good as day 1 Shayna.

Horatio Cornblower

How’s her head movement?

Gratliff

Hard to tell when her entire 5 minute appearance involved pointing at the Wrestle Mania signs and looking around like she wasn’t sure what to do next.

Horatio Cornblower

That’s probably the CTE setting in after her last fight.

http://mmaversus.com/2016/12/31/ronda-rousey-vs-amanda-nunes-fight-video-ufc-207/

Skip to the 2:09 mark. It won’t take long after that.

Also a really good reason to never pay for UFC fights.

Gratliff

Oh yeah. I watched her get murdered the last few times. I just don’t particularly care about Ronda Rousey when they’ve already got a really good crop of performers to work with.

Wakezilla

It’s going to be depressing as shit when she squashes Asuka in 10 seconds at Mania and loses when her train wreck of a life catches up with her and she gets endeavored

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

From the “I am not making this up” department: the woman who sat next to me on the plane was wearing a Tom Brady jersey. She was approximately 6’3″ and 239 lbs. Later on she started watching Big Bang Theory.

The woman in a different row who let me join her so I could escape is the greatest hero in American history.

Horatio Cornblower

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WCS

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JerBear50
JerBear50

Ohhhh, Big Bang Theory!! I just love intelligent humor.

Wakezilla

I love how they’re sexual predators but no one cares because they’re nerds

Horatio Cornblower

So my wife has been in CA for the better part of a week helping her father and step-mom move transition to a retirement community. She is apparently going to be shipping back a metric shit-ton of clothing a jewelry that step-mom insisted she take. I was mentioning this to a friend, (because, and I am not kidding here, we are talking about two full racks of clothes and a couple of boxes of necklaces), and saying that I have no idea where we’re going to put this stuff and he says:

“Could be worse; she could be coming back with the parents.”

This has been your daily reminder that behind every silver lining there is a dark cloud, and also never to bet on the UCONN men’s basketball team.

Gratliff

Title match where Brock Lesnar just took a shoot knee and responded with a shoot straight right. This could be the day we see Brock attempt to murder a man for real.

Gratliff

Imagine how terrifying it must be to have Brock Lesnar angry at you
https://video.twimg.com/tweet_video/DUrRO-ZXUAIBTku.mp4

Horatio Cornblower

Meh, just punch him as hard as you can right in the stomach.

That giardia is the gift that keeps on giving. To opponents.

Wakezilla

Nice to see WWE didn’t shit the bed with the Rumble winner this year. Though, it would have been amazing if Miz came out to Daniel Bryan’s music.

Beerguyrob

At least Brie didn’t come out to Daniel Bryan’s music.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is a tasty burger.

Sharkbait

Someone went to Big Kahuna Burger.

JerBear50
JerBear50

How’s the beverage… tasty as well?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What?

JerBear50
JerBear50

I SAID DOES MARCELLUS WALLACE LOOK LIKE A BITCH???

herodotus450
herodotus450

And what about the meatballs?

Senor Weaselo

Elon Musk has $500 flamethrowers available… so can we get some for the clubhouse, Dad?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Why can’t you lazy fucks build your own?

LemonJello
LemonJello

You drink everything that we could reasonably use as fuel.

JerBear50
JerBear50

Because Seamus won’t stop huffing all the aerosol products. Same reason all our whip cream has to be homemade. Well, that and because we’re fucking civilized.

Sharkbait

Cross your collective fingers. Putting an offer in on a house.

ballsofsteelandfury

Good luck!

JerBear50
JerBear50

Ooph. Gotcha, but I wish I’d taken them out first.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Ah yes, the American dream: A lifetime of debt!

Best of luck!

JerBear50
JerBear50

Yeah, but the good thing is that home values never, EVER go down.
/Zillow’s property address
//hangs self in worthless house

Sharkbait

It’ll be a seasonal rental, so not as much debt! Only some of the crippling debt!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Congrats! JPP said he’s sorry he couldn’t be much help.

Horatio Cornblower

Good luck.

Hire a very good inspector and, if there’s crime scene tape over the door when the inspector shows up, just walk away.

Gratliff

Relevant

Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!
Buddy Cole's Unordinary Time!

All-Star games are boring.

NHL players are excruciatingly boring. It’s PK Subban and a bunch of mayonnaise sandwiches.

Senor Weaselo

herodotus450
herodotus450

Probably cause theyre too busy hustling back on defense to develop a personality unlike that sack of shit Kareem.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Wooooo!!!! Free golf! Let’s go Day!
PINOY POWER!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Stupid DirectTV. Who knew there was such a thing as moisture in the air and they should definitely plan and engineer a solution to such a thing when developing a satellite based broadcasting system?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

For you denizens of LA, I’m probably going to take yeahright’s advice and have dinner at Father’s Office in Culver tonight. Happy to buy a beer or two if anyone’s around and bored.

ballsofsteelandfury

That’s a great place. Site of the VERY first DFO meet up, IIRC.

Wakezilla

So, if one were to accidentally stumble onto a site where it shows the Royal Rumble for free, where would one go?

Redshirt

I don’t know but you better hurry. They’re airing the Men’s rumble now.

Wakezilla

What? Didn’t the event start an hour ago?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not my cup of tea, but…

https://www.reddit.com/r/WWEstreams/

Senor Weaselo

Is it just me or is James Corden kind of annoying? On a related note, imagine if Craig ever hosted the Grammys?

WCS

I do no understand the appeal of Corden. He’s utterly inane.

Craig Ferguson might be the only way you’d get me to watch the Grammys.

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Senor Weaselo

He had a band! With Peter Capaldi on vocals!

LemonJello
LemonJello

Just watched the opening of the Grammys…I am now officially old because I didn’t understand what I just saw.

Senor Weaselo

Another year has come and gone… and I haven’t won a Grammy for Best Classical Album or Performance.

LemonJello
LemonJello

What about an AVN award for Best Soundtrack For Gonzo Sex?

Horatio Cornblower

Jesus, these NHL All-Star uniforms are certainly something.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Holes in the wrists?

Gratliff

Philly crowd is rabid. Looking forward to them ruining this show if a single person fucks up a single thing tonight.

Senor Weaselo

Holy shit a penalty in the hockey games!

litre_cola

I found a Bond movie so I didn’t see Kid Rock!

Senor Weaselo

herodotus450
herodotus450

Kid Rock? Moar like Grandpa Adult-Alternative, amirite?

Senor Weaselo

Kid Rock, let’s see what else is on.
/Changes the channel, sees Tom Brady on the screen
Fine, Kid Rock it is.

The Maestro

Get this:

Rid Kock.

Sharkbait

Kid Rock? Muuuuuuute

Gratliff

Brayden Holtby is a failure in all things

Sharkbait

I dunno. I think he’s pretty successful in never making the 3rd round.

Senor Weaselo

Replay review overturning a call in an All-Star Game, DRIIIIINK!

Sharkbait

All a ploy for Wes McCauley to get in on the action.

Sharkbait

Just don’t get hurt Lundqvist….

Gratliff

Are you sure about this? Checking my notes here, and they say that would be a good thing.

Sharkbait

Brad Marchand shouldn’t be able to play in this game.

Senor Weaselo

Isn’t the suspension still going on?

Sharkbait

Yes it is.

The Maestro

Agreed. If the league feels that a guy who delivers The People’s Elbow to a guy’s brain blindside is an appropriate representation of their brand, then fuck ’em. Then again, they also booked Kid Rock to play the second intermission, so what the fuck do I know?

Gratliff

So that’s why they brought out those fuckheads to start the show. Kid Rock is a significant improvement over that cacophony of awful.

scotchnaut

“Agreed. Mr. Marchand is hereby banished from the Pro Bowl!”

-Roger Goodell

Senor Weaselo

I will appreciate the Tampa faithful if Marchand scores a goal to tie it or take the lead and a la JD Drew in 2008 they briefly cheer and then chant “You still suck!”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

THIS PRO BOWL I CALL IT JUNIOR PROM BECAUSE NOBODY’S AS EXCITED AS THE ORGANIZERS WANT AND YOU CAN’T REALLY HIT THAT

The Maestro

Mark Sanchez would like to unsubscribe from your newsletter.

litre_cola

I just went down a youtube hole instead of watching these games. Tuned in for 5 minutes to both games and they are not good.

scotchnaut

“You’re the best defensive end in the NFL. If you could not hit anyone in this game that celebrates your talent, that’d be great.”

Senor Weaselo

Are you telling me they drive Lexuses (Lexii?) in Wakanda, commercial? I call bullshit.

The Maestro

They’d never stoop to driving THEM JAP CARS in Wakanda,, ppl forget this,,

Sharkbait

Those white pants on the white uniforms for the Pacific is an unfortunate look

The Maestro

The 1974 Washington Capitals called; they want their pants back.

Senor Weaselo

Why would you go empty net playing 3 on 3 with a minute and change left?

herodotus450
herodotus450

They should be allowed two extra skaters.

scotchnaut

“Jack Doyle is in the Pro Bowl? No Fucking Way!”

-Jack Doyle’s Mom

herodotus450
herodotus450

At this rate we might see 5 goals in this game!

scotchnaut

“Why you gotta look like that?”

/Because I wasn’t raised in a trailer park?

The Maestro

McDavid can’t score on all those chances on Pekka Rinne? He’s a bust. Edmonton needs to trade him.

Senor Weaselo

Preferably to *insert team that Commentist roots for here*!

Gratliff

Soon.

Gratliff

Jesus Christ. The Royal Rumble preshow starts at 5 pm. Why is the Rumble 6 hours long now?

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

Men’s and Women’s Royal Rumble
Universal Title
WWE Title
Raw Tag Team Tile
Smackdown Tag Team Title
US Title
Cruiserweight match.

Gratliff

Barely leaves time for the 40 KFC cross-promotions

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

Brady wearing a TB hat for Tampa Bay. Huge probowl fan.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Good on Brady Quinn!

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

By extension that the Browns are in the AFC would this count as another loss for them this season?