Your “Where My Bitches At?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Set your PVRs for Thursday, August 2nd – Ravens-Bears is your 2018 Hall of Fame game
    • I’m guessing so Urlacher & Stabby can get all weepy at the game they love so much.
  • Mike Shula is leaving the Panthers for the Giants to be the offensive coordinator.
    • This has got minds working that the Giants may draft a QB that can be tutored to take over from Eli.
  • Not content to play in Canada, Johnny Manziel is sniffing around teams needing a QB and trying to finagle a tryout.
    • He claims to be receiving treatment for a bipolar disorder.

Night 2/2 of the Westminster Dog Show is tonight. (8:00PM – FS1 {USA} / NatGeo {Canada}.)

Last night’s winners were the

  • Hound: Borzoi
  • Toy: Pug
  • Non-Sporting: Bichons Frise
  • Herding: Border Collie

The order of events tonight are scheduled to be:

  • Sporting
  • Working
  • Terriers

  • Best In Show

Naturally, I’m pulling for the Bernese Mountain Dog, as I have owned or own four in my adult lifetime.

Max & Bruin
Lambeau & Riga

Of course, a Bernese has never won Westminster, and I don’t expect that to change tonight based on the tight-asses who were judging last night. So, once the Berners are discriminated against again eliminated, I will throw my support behind litre_cola & Oxipug and root for Biggie.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Olympics:
    • NBCSN
      • 7:00: Figure Skating: Pairs short-program
      • 10:00: Hockey (Women’s Group B): Sweden vs. Switzerland
    • NBC: 8:00 – Figure Skating, Alpine Skiing, Snowboarding
      • Pairs short; women’s slalom: run 2 medal final; men’s half-pipe medal final
    • CBC: 8:00 – Figure Skating, Alpine Skiing, Snowboarding
      • Pairs short; women’s slalom: run 2 medal final; men’s half-pipe medal final
    • TSN:
      • Pairs short (uninterrupted)
    • Sportsnet:
      • 7:00PM | Men’s curling; Women’s hockey
        • Canada vs. Italy (curling)
        • Sweden vs. Switzerland, then Korea vs. Japan
  • Men’s hockey starts at 7:10AM ET
    • Slovakia vs. “Russia” – Sportsnet
    • Slovenia vs. USA – NBCSN / TSN

Other sports:

  • NHL:
    • no national broadcasts.
      • FUCK YOU, GARY BETTMAN!
  • NBA:
    • Heat at Raptors – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Cavaliers at Thunder – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Spurs at Nuggets – 10:30PM | TNT
  • NCAA:
    • Oklahoma at Texas Tech – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Kansas at Iowa State – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Michigan State at Minnesota – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • Virginia at Miami – 9:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Thanks to Seamus for covering the Open Thread last night. I spent the three-day weekend enjoying some beers & barbecuing. Chicken on Saturday + Ribs on Sunday = Chicken & Ribs on Monday. THAT’S GOOD EATIN’!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Talk shit, get hit.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I see tonight, just like every night, you all can’t stop talking about bitches.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Your mom is just that alluring.

SonOfSpam
Member

Also, Michael Cohen, Dickbag-in-Chief’s lawyer, just claimed he paid Stormy the Porny $130k out of his personal account because…reasons? Because out of the goodness of his heart. That is tremendous.

WCS
Member

The volumes written about this administration in the decades to come will surpass anything from the Andrew Johnson/Harding/Lyndon Johnson/Nixon/Clinton combined.

SonOfSpam
Member

Dude, seriously. And there will be movies, and plays, and pornos, and whatnot.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

You can’t have negative retrospectives if you start the apocalypse.

SonOfSpam
Member

Just gonna assume the Newfoundland won. Because my Newf mix won’t leave me alone.

Mutts are the real winners. NO ONE DENIES THIS.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Fronkenshteen
Member

Who won?!?!

WCS
Member

The cat.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

USA. Again.

SonOfSpam
Member

Shaun White

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl
Member

Who’s a good boy?!?!?

Romonobyl
Member

The crowd is not impressed.

litre_cola
Member

Burn that place to the ground.

Col. Duke LaCross
Member

Such bullshit!

Romonobyl
Member

I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!!!!!!

litre_cola
Member

Yep you called that one.

Romonobyl
Member

Total bullshit. Fucking touchdown Seahawks.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

HOX!!!

Col. Duke LaCross
Member

This lady is a bigger attention whore than Gene Steratore.

Col. Duke LaCross
Member

Bichons are a pain in the ass.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

When Dustin Diamond shows up on the visual clue round of pub trivia, it’s time to get the fuck out of there.

litre_cola
Member

Saved by the bell or his porno?

Romonobyl
Member

You could have stopped at “when Dustin Diamond shows up”.

Romonobyl
Member

Border Collie does have a really cute face.

Col. Duke LaCross
Member

LOOKATTHEPUG!

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Romonobyl
Member

Gravity.
It’s not just a good idea…it’s the law!

Romonobyl
Member

I love how Pupper’s expression changes when the G’s kick in.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

On our next episode: How to clean dog shit out of an airplane

Romonobyl
Member

PUG PUG PUG PUG PUG!!!!!!

litre_cola
Member

My wife cant believe this ridiculous breed is in the running. I had Oxipug before her.

Romonobyl
Member

Seems to be the crowd favorite.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I love it when they dispose with any pretense to the swimsuits.

h

ttps://pixxxels.org/image/6lkzddbl1/

Romonobyl
Member

I gots no juice here, but I call that postable.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Agreed

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Cool.

Romonobyl
Member

Older female judge = pocket dog.

litre_cola
Member

Pocket dawgs are delicious

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

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litre_cola
Member

That woman looks like a supreme bitch

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn; what porn are you watching NOW?

Col. Duke LaCross
Member

A real battleaxe.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Obligatory Paige Spiranac gallery post:

`https://pixhost.org/gallery/EPQJB

Romonobyl
Member

I’d sure like to put a hole in that one!!!!

Christ I really reached for it that time.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Show her your (n-)Wood and have her play with the the shaft and really appreciate the head.

Romonobyl
Member

She’ll only get teed off.

OK I’m done now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised

Disgusting fat fuck.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m having trouble not laughing at that still.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

YARRRRRRR, MATEY!

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Nice ass, though.

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Romonobyl
Member

The most unusual part is that her right foot is real. Go figure!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

So it’s cool to bust on amputees now?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not unexpected.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Whomever groomed that Westie needs to be shot in the head.
Just saying.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
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Unsurprised
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The first one is hilarious.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Imagine your job being to blur out Kate Upton’s tits so they could post this video online.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Not content to play in Canada, Johnny Manziel is sniffing around teams needing a QB and trying to finagle a tryout.

Further evidence that the owners the NFL staff and team front offices can all eat shit and die if JFF even gets a fucking tryout before Kaepernick.

SonOfSpam
Member

Boy howdy, this times a billion.

Romonobyl
Member

At least we gave him a snazzy middle name. I got stuck with fucking Richard.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Fucking Richard is a pretty good one.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

If Shaun White was a Grumman Hellcat his fuel and oil systems would probably look like this:
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Romonobyl
Member

Don’t forget about the big-tittied hydraulics!

Romonobyl
Member

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Time to take a nap, then wake up later and write some mediocre (at best) shit.
Fuck the world. More or less.

Romonobyl
Member

Thursday night already?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Hell man, I dunno. Is it?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gratliff
Member

No one does a better job than Lana at playing a Florida-born, Latvia-raised, Russian-fluent FSU student with a Florida accent speaking Russian in a terrible Russian accent while claiming to actually be Bulgarian. It’s a very niche skillset, really.

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rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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monty this seems strange to me
Member

I don’t judge if you wanna make prostitution legal or illegal but countries WITHOUT DATA? What kind of animals don’t have data?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Um, Canada has some ‘splaining to do…

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

France too, btw.

SonOfSpam
Member

I think people just ain’t payin for hairy pits.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I SHAVED MINE DAMMIT.

SonOfSpam
Member

Too cold to expose balls?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

I agree with this statement

Romonobyl
Member

So how can selling sex be legal, but not buying it?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

EXACTLY!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Give it some thought, like consequences and what not….. come back later.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

It’s essentially illegal. They’re just saying they’re going to prosecute the customers, not the prostitutes. It’s a copout. Just make the whole thing illegal and still only prosecute customers. Don’t make a pretense of making it legal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well at least you gave it a small amount of thought before arriving at a conclusion.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Is there another one?

Besides making it legal?

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Shaun White is amazing!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Same number as ACDC Hell……. never mind.

SonOfSpam
Member

Heh, the Jeopardy dork (redundant) is talking about going rim-to-rim at the Grand Canyon.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I was at the Grand Canyon a coupla years ago.
Sadly nobody rimmed me. Not even the cool German chick in the room next door.

I woulda let her, but…meh.

SonOfSpam
Member

Yeah, Germans are weird about licking butthole. The women, anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Which porn are you watch now?

SonOfSpam
Member

No I was talking about foreign exch…I mean, right, movies.

SonOfSpam
Member

Damn, Shaun White is a badass. Almost as badass as that Giant Schnauzer.

Seriously, that Shaun White kid is going places.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

So is that Giant Schnauzer.
Oy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS
Member

That was pretty amazing.

SonOfSpam
Member

Yeah, clutch as hell. The Japanese kid was pretty much perfect, and White just went bigger.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, he IS Asian.

*Oh no he din’t.

SonOfSpam
Member

I would’ve gone with “He navigated the course without crashing???”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

With a small dick? That’s just piling on (which is German).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh