Request Line: Belle of the Ball

INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY

We join Request Line in process.  The PRODUCER is seated comfortably at the outer console, sipping coffee.  He raises a hand and counts down from five before punching a button and pointing at the figure seated inside.

KIRK: [runs hand through hair] You like that? Huh?  Ha ha, yeah.  You just heard “Object of My Desire” by Starpoint.  If you’re just joining us, I’m Kirk Cousins, and this is Request Line.

PRODUCER: Thanks for getting us started there, Kirk.  So word is that your services are in high demand this offseason.

KIRK: That’s what my agent tells me.

PRODUCER: They say the Jets are the frontrunner, but I hear talk about the Broncos and even the Vikings as possible destinations as well.  That must feel nice.

KIRK: It sure does.  It’s a nice feeling to be wanted.  I’m trying not to let it get to my head, though. I want to stay focused on my job, be a professional…

He notices the PRODUCER’s making a gesture, and competently punches a button.

KIRK: …and it looks like we’ve got another call.  Hey there, you’ve reached Request Line, what’s your desire?

VANESSA HUDGENS: Hi, is this Kirk?

KIRK: Yeah.  [frowns] Hey, do you have me on speakerphone?

VANESSA: Is that a problem?

KIRK: It is.  Don’t do that.

VANESSA: Of course, I’m so sorry.  Hey, I heard you were in town and, um…[twists her hair]…my friends and I were wondering if you had any plans for tonight? We’re headed to this club and we thought maybe you want to, like, go with us…

KIRK: [punches a button to disconnect] Sorry, folks, this is Request Line, not Dateline, got a job to do here.  I need song requests…[punches button]

ELI: Hi, is this Kirk? It’s Eli Manning.

KIRK: Oh, hey buddy.  What’s shaking?

ELI: I’m calling to invite…um…request that you come hang out on Saturday.

KIRK: Hang out?

ELI: Yeah, you know, play G.I. Joe, whatever.

KIRK: Uh, thanks Eli, but that’s not really something I’m into…

ELI: [nervously] Ha ha, yeah, I was just kidding around.  G.I. Joe, ha ha, who does that?  Um…the real reason I’m calling is to invite you to my birthday party.

KIRK: [puzzled] Wasn’t your birthday last month?

ELI: [stammers] Um…uh…no, this is a surprise party.

KIRK: A surprise birthday party?

ELI: Yeah.

KIRK: For you.

ELI: Yup.

KIRK: Eleven months in advance of your actual birthday.

ELI: Um…

KIRK: That you already found out about.

ELI: I…uh…I mean…[pretends to hear his mom]…Sorry, my mom is calling me, gotta go!

KIRK: Wait, Eli, have you got a song request?

ELI: [is embarrassed, has hung up] …

KIRK: Looks like we lost him, folks.  I guess I’m on my own here.  As you recall, the theme today is “Belle of the Ball”.  We’re looking for songs about being the most desirable person on the market.  I’ll get things moving again with a classic from Billy Squier.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UU7vXN-2j3A