Your “Another Season On The Outside Looking In” Saturday Evening Open Thread

It’s an old episode of SCTV, taped off TV. The old local commercials are ridiculous, and the CBC bumpers are laughable. The Rough Trade appearance is very 1981; I can’t figure out why all the guys in the band are bald, but I’m guessing the English majors they date don’t care about looks.

Tonight is the last full night of the NHL regular season; the Panthers & Bruins have a make-up game tomorrow. For we Canucks fans, it’s time to start looking forward to hate-watching the Leafs until they are out of the playoffs. Then it’s rooting for Canada’s real team for the 2018 playoffs – the Winnipeg Jets!

It’s Whiteout season, baby!


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Leafs at Habs – 7:00PM | CBC
    • Blackhawks at Jets – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Sens at Bruins – 7:00PM | City
    • Canucks at Oilers – 10:00PM | CBC
    • Vegas at Flames – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Thunder at Rockets – 8:30PM | ABC
  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Rangers – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Frozen Four – Final: Minnesota (Duluth) vs. Notre Dame – 7:30PM | ESPN / TSN
  • MLS:
    • Real Salt Lake vs. Whitecaps FC – 9:30PM | TSN
  •  UFC:
    • UFC 223 Prefight: Khabib vs. Holloway – 7:00PM | FS1 / TSN5
  • WWE:
    • Hall of Fame Induction – 10:00PM | USA
  • Rugby Sevens:
    • From Hong Kong – 12:00AM | ESPN2

I haven’t been paying attention – IS TIGER WINNING THE MASTERS?!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Spur

LMA! LMA! LMA! LMA! LMA! LMA! LMA! LMA! LMA!

Senor Weaselo

“Strong defensive play off the bench by Carmelo Anthony.”

All right, shut it down, the world’s over.

Spur

Rudy Gay Power!

Horatio Cornblower

I’ll take “Things You Can Hear In A Steel Mill” for $800, Alex.

Senor Weaselo

BTW 2-1 Ice Donks in the 2nd (Ice #BFIB just scored).

herodotus450

The ghost of Claude Lemiuex vs. the ghost of Chris Pronger… Say what you will about ND vs. Alabama, or any game featuring the Pats, this is a true Meteor Game candidate.

Gratliff

After all that bullshit, it’s Flyers-Pens anyway. Fucking useless *lists off half the fucking league*

JustStopDude

Oh shit…I was supposed to fight on UFC 233 as a fill in and I just got drunk instead…

WCS

You too?! Up top!

Senor Weaselo

Not to be outdone by himself, Conor McGregor hit the fill-ins with an entire couch.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

I fucking hate George Lucas because an entire generation of people think that Ewan McGregor is a shitty actor.

Has anyone appeared in Star Wars and looked good?

herodotus450

Screen wipe transitions?

JustStopDude

Further proof to my belief that Battlefield Earth is superior to Star Wars in every way…their wipes are better.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ah; the death of another McGregor joke.

Senor Weaselo

There still has not been a Westbrook-Harden fight, where do I go to get my money I didn’t pay back?

Spur

i blame Melo.

Senor Weaselo

-Knicks fans

Spur
herodotus450

A strong contender, but he’s at best third in the “Incongruously high pitched voices” competition behind Geddy Lee and the guy from Silversun Pickups.

rockingdog

shit. shit shit shit. Turnovers killed the warriors.

herodotus450

Apple, cherry, you name it.
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Spur

Spurs up 4 but lillard is scary.

herodotus450

If they write a book (well, tell a story that eventually becomes abook) about his adventures, it could be called “The Illiard.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ah MTV Classic, you are awesome.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G6Kspj3OO0s

theeWeeBabySeamus

And they follow that up with N-Sync. Jeebus MTV Classic. Just when I thought we could be friends.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

That’s not Celebrity Deathmatch!

JustStopDude

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theeWeeBabySeamus

The original Cousinfuckers?

JustStopDude

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yikes

JustStopDude

The funny thing…everyone kept expecting him to die and the fucker just wouldn’t…

“short, lame, epileptic, senile and completely bald before 35, always on the verge of death but repeatedly baffling Christendom by continuing to live.”

Made it to 39.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahahaha. “Made it to 39”. Yes, that cracked me the fuck up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

What is crazy is his parents, Philip and Mariana were uncle and niece, making Charles their son and first-cousin and great-nephew respectively, yet his full blooded sister had none of the crippling genetic problems.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Women!!!! AMIRITE FELLAS????????

Mr. Ayo

Little known fact, your mom went by Maria Anna in those days.

JustStopDude

I think you mean my aunt…wait…never mind…

Spur

Rudy Gay is keeping the Spurs alive here.

herodotus450

(Don’t think about Michael Sam. Don’t think about Michael Sam.)

theeWeeBabySeamus

April 7th (almost 8th) and it’s snowing in NC.
Better get it out of its system now because I’ve got a beach trip in two weeks and this will not work for me.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

damian lillard has no chill. Can we send the Blazers to the East? They would be in the ECF every year.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Matthew Lillard is on that new show Good Girls that we’ve been watching. It’s not that great of a show, even though I pretty much like everyone on it – Christina Hendricks, Mae Whitman, David Hornsby…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damian on the other hand…….

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Her?

herodotus450

Also, hack the planet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If he blazed one up he’d chill.

Unsurprised

Is he free to under the NBA conduct policy?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s why they named the team the Blazers.

Unsurprised

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Spur
theeWeeBabySeamus

I ate too much chili.
My tummy hurts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

Why is there a Picasso in front of that Polybius cabinet?

Gratliff

Got 3 plates deep in the jambalaya and I feel teh same. Considering going for 4.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not me. I don’t want to ever* see any more chili.

* Gimme and hour

Spanky Datass

Drink some milk.
/waits … waits…
/feels bad
No, DO NOT DRINK MILK. It will only make it worse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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...

Everyone in this bar band is wearing a bolo tie.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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……….

rockingdog

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Spur
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

folks.
warriors vs pelicans is close.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Warrior Pelicans; new on Netflicks.

litre_cola

Pelican warrior is armor from Roman timez.

Gratliff

There is roughly 0% chance Mania is as good as TakeOver tonight.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Whiteout season is also when the GOP holds its convention

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

There was still a World War 3 in Star Trek before Earth achieved fully-automated luxury space communism.

That being said, Dune is a fairly transparent allegory for the Middle East. Frank Herbert benefited from how no one knew anything about it or wanted to in the 1960s.

...

I believe the fully automated luxury space communism will be gay too

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

Oh, right. I forgot where that goes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good point; they miss jokes on ST too.

Spur

Chris Paul, Harden and Coach D’Antoni, that’s a playoff disaster in the making. Utah is going to kick the shit out of them.

Spur

When OKC misses the playoffs does Paul George wait in OKC for a flight to LA or drive as fast has he can to Dallas for a flight to LA?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Does he already have a rental car?

Spur

Uber driver. he’ll pay extra.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s going to need a good set of headphones and a long playlist. DRIVE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

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WARNING; Extreme cartoon alien weirdness.

WCS

Next week, on HRTN: Prison Planet

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

/Takes off pants

Spur

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Spur

Westbrook would fuckup Harden in a fight. The refs cant bail him out in a fight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[Hippo checks Vegas line on fight]

Gratliff

Devils lose. Flyers get Capitals unless Blue Jackets suddenly come back.

Mr. Ayo

#CapsYear #LastMinuteTyingGoals

Gratliff

I think Philly can get enough OTL’s in 7 games to take the series

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

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Support fire is hot work.

Unsurprised

2/10. no visible hearing or vision protection.

Spur

there’s going to be a fight in the OKC/Houston game.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Murray, Green and Leonard will be a nasty backcourt.

herodotus450

Murray?

Spur

dejounte murray, took over as starting PG for Parker.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog

found a funny folks:

“Not all guys wearing Flannel shirts are Lumberjacks.” *hits tree with axe* ” Take me for example. I just hate trees.”

Spur

Too bad Paterno and the rest of the Penn State Admin weren’t stoned to death.

Senor Weaselo

They didn’t say Jehovah.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQ5YU_spBw0

Spur

Melo is such a bum. I hope he’s stuck in Oklahoma for the rest of his life.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh man, don’t say things like that. Nobody should be stuck in Oklahoma, even for a week.

Unsurprised

That’s nonsense. There are plenty of people who deserve that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Ball hog? Yes. Coach killer? Yes. Bum? No.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also; crazy girlfriend haver? YES.

...

Oklahoma is the giblets of America

...

Folks, I joke a lot on here but one thing is no laughing matter: overheated, sweaty testicles.

For years, men have dealt with stinky scrotums sticking to their legs. BUT NO LONGER!

Now we have underwear with a pouch for your goods. Just tuck your cock and balls into the pouch and marvel at the revelation self-contained genitalia. And that bulge it creates? *chuckles* Well the ladies love that, if you get my drift. 😉

So get some pouched underwear today! and experience true hap-penis. LOL

Senor Weaselo

Doesn’t that just contain the ball-sweat to a more concentrated area?

...

Well since the pouch is breathable and holds the boys away from your body, not so much

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I hope you bought one of the items recommended in Balls’ Slutty Saturday series.

...

I did not read that so maybe I did?

...

VENTILATE YOUR BALLS PEOPLE AND YOU’LL UNDERSTAND

Spur

Gold Bond works for me in the Vegas heat.

...

Such dry balls

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You live in a humid place which takes a mundane temperature and makes it uncomfortable. I Colorado where the air is much drier most of the time we just take out balls out and them them dry in the fresh air. The evaporation is quick and cooling and can be comfortably accomplished before police arrive.

...

I am envious

Spur

yum yum made some Frito Pie.

Spur

Watching Paterno till the game starts. I forgot about the student reporting.

Unsurprised

My faith in God ceases to exist when I remember that Happy Valley hasn’t been annihilated by meteors.

herodotus450

Remember when Tennessee tried to hire Greg Schiano?

WCS

Can’t spell Rocky Top without MRSA.

...

lol

King Hippo

say wat u want, he really new how 2 separate teh men from teh boys

Mr. Ayo

That’s the power of MRSA

Spur

Go Spurs Go.

Seriously they really need this game. Also, FUCK the Thunder.

rockingdog

right there with you spur.
also considering injuries, gotta think rockets gonna win the title this year.

King Hippo

I am also starting to hate Los Dodgeros de Los Angeles

litre_cola

You know who else hates them?

Me.

rockingdog

here here!

Spur

Folks

King Hippo

All these Lesser Footy channels, and nobody carrying the Boca Juniors match?

Because REASONS, ok??

herodotus450

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Unsurprised

There are more D-1A bowl games than D-1A teams.

Senor Weaselo

There’s some Argentinian. steakhouse on Queens Blvd that is a Boca Juniors fan club, I’m guessing they’ve got it. No, I’m not driving to Elmhurst to watch Argentinian soccer.

King Hippo

Lesser Footy is the preferred vernacular, PLEASE, dude.

Senor Weaselo

My bad, I apologize.

Senor Weaselo

Speaking of, if I drove to that place and did say Lesser Footy, any wagers on what would happen to me, up to and including my wholesale slaughter?

King Hippo

yeah, they do NOT appreciate the breezy humour in it (I mean, even the Brits – Argentines likely go all knifey)

Senor Weaselo

It’s Whiteout season, baby!

What is the 2018 White House Spring Intern Photo? Yes, I’ll take Up the (Jeremy) Irons for $800.

Unsurprised

Hey! There’s one black guy off in the far left front row.

Senor Weaselo

Evening, lizard people. How is Ice #BFIB-Ice Donks NOT on NBC or NBCSN? *checks* Oh, it’s on NHL Network? Well, WE DON’T GET THE NHL NETWORK! Does anyone?

herodotus450

Who wants to watch a de facto playoff game when you can watch two teams stumble into lottery position?
/Not bitter

Senor Weaselo

My team could have helped cause a Game 83 NHL Wild Card Game, and failed miserably at it.

herodotus450

Is that even possible? They don’t settle it with a coin flip like men (of the nfl)?

Senor Weaselo

Apparently if the Flyera had dropped their last game and the Panthera won their last two they’d have identical records (and I’m guessing they split the season series too) because they said they’d play a tiebreaker game at a location determined by lots. But now it’s all a moot point since the Ice Giants got shut out 5-0!

Mr. Ayo

Gary Bettman is an international disgrace.

...

Greetings from Chicago where it’s *squints at thermometer* still too goddamned cold.

litre_cola

Being originally from coldville aka winnipeg we will enjoy all attention thank you.

...

A Canadian I went to grad school with called Winnepeg “an old woman.” I never understood what he meant as I’ve never been.

litre_cola

Hot in the summer and frigid in the winter.

Gratliff

Also in wrestling viewing, the two likely contenders for best show of the weekend, NXT Takeover: New Orleans at 8 pm on WWE Network, and RoH’s SuperCard of Honor at 8:30 pm on Honor Club. TakeOver routinely overshadows WWE’s “main roster” shows, and Kenny Omega-Cody Rhodes is probably the best built feud of the weekend.

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Unsurprised

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litre_cola

I feel that this gentleman and I would get along.

LemonJello

Is that what Marc Trestman’s Windowless Van has been up to?

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