Your “Maybe Lock The Doors” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Here’s a good thing: police recovered most of Roquan Smith’s stolen property & arrested an individual.
    • The only object missing from the above trove: his Bears iPad.
      • On an unrelated note, not all NE Patriots trainers have been accounted for.
  • Here’s an “ugh, really?” thing: Mark Ingram is going to challenge his suspension via arbitration.
    • His agent stated: “Mark Ingram tested positive for a substance that was not a performance enhancing substance, nor an illegal substance, but a substance in fact permissible with the proper use exemption with the NFL.”
      • PFT’s scienticians also note that, by going in this direction, he’s admitting to taking a substance, but that he also had a reason for doing so.
        • So, the “Seadderall Seahawk” defence.
  • Former Colts WR Anthony Gonzalez won the GOP nomination for the House in the upcoming November elections.
    • He’ll be running in Ohio’s 16th congressional district, which takes up most of Wayne County & follows the west side of I-71 & I-76 up near Cleveland, bypassing Akron & Canton.
    • History time! Facts about the 16th District:
      • It was carved out of the populous 13th District in advance of the 1833 election, and has been represented in Washington since 1833.
      • The first representative was Elisha Whittlesey of the Anti-Masonic Party.
        • He had previously:
          • been William Henry Harrison’s private secretary.
          • helped found the Whig Party.
        • He was appointed the first Comptroller of the Treasury by Zachary Taylor in 1849.
      • It was represented by future President William McKinley from 1879-1881.
      • With one two-year gap, it’s been a solid Republican seat since 1950.

Finally, 76ers guard T.J. McConnell had a pretty good story about switching fandoms from the Steelers to the Bengals, and then back to the Steelers during his childhood.

  • It turns out, and stop me if I’m a tad harsh here, but Ben Roethlisberger might be a bit of a dick.
    • McConnell says that Big Ben was visiting his school in Pittsburgh for a charity event and, since it was right after Super Bowl XL, he was getting swamped by people, so he acted like a prick in order to be left alone.
    • That drove McConnell to begin rooting for the Bengals, which the story notes was a particularly bad decision at that time because between 2006-08 the Bengals never saw .500.
      • So, he went back to the Steelers.
    • As a pro athlete now, McConnell says he gets where Ben was at the time.

The story concludes on this note:

The moral of the story here is either “be nice to everybody” or “never become a Bengals fan.” You pick.


DFO Meetup

Hey – are you sick of hanging out with the same family members on the weekend?

Haven’t you just had enough of those people by the time Saturday rolls around?

Well, have we found a solution for you! The first annual DFO “Uhh, I dunno – wanna have some beers?” pub crawl will take place this Saturday at 2:00. The meeting place & first bar will be Tavern on Main, 123 Main St. in El Segundo, CA. (90245)

After Tavern, either democracy will rule or a dictator will rise up and set a route – a route for fun!

It sounds like it will be an erstwhile experience. Check out tonight’s comments for more details.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Preds-Jets game 7 is Thursday night, so…
  • OHL:
    • Sault St. Marie at Hamilton – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • NBA:
    • 76ers at Celtics – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN2 (Game 5; Celtics lead 3-1)
  • MLB:
    • Red Sox at Yankees – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN3
    • Mariners at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • MLS:
    • Toronto FC vs. Seattle Sounders – 7:30PM | FS1 / TSN
      • a rematch of last year’s MLS Cup final

Maybe along the way, you’ll stop for some ethnic cuisine

TACO TOWN!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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WakezillaMr. AyoUnsurprisedyeah rightBrick Meathook Recent comment authors
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

According to the radar I’m over Glen Canyon dam right now.

Had a great if brief visit with BFC and tWBS at the always cool Harbor Room in Playa del Rey. I had to leave for the airport after 45 minutes but I’ll be back in a week and maybe we can do it again. Sorry I’ll miss the El Segundo pub crawl this weekend but why not do it again next weekend.

Here’s a picture of my glass:

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yeah right

You’ll be with us in dick jokes Brick!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

That glass better be full of vodka or gin.

Brocky

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Marketing student? He just aced that exam IMO.

Wakezilla

Think that’s bad? His name is a hate crime in China

yeah right

I have something pretty cool.

I work for a great company. A couple of times a year our COO visits all of us. He’s in NYC and we’re in LA. He’s an amazing guy.
For a Rangers fan.

Anyway a couple of months ago he stops by just to say “Hi.”
We bullshit about sports, you know? Tell him I’m a Vikings fan.
He says that one of our sister sites worked the Super Bowl in Minnesota which I had just visited a few months before and he knew that I was a Vikings fan.

“They wore these shirts. With the logo and everything? Next time I go there I’ll see if they have any extra.”

Hell yes. I love this guy!

A couple of months pass and I’ve already forgotten about it.

I get a call from our regional VP and he says “Hi yeah right? Can you meet us in the parking lot I have “MR COO! with me.”

He opened the trunk of a car… This guy is in LA and lives in NYC.
And he gave me The Shirt

I ain’t ever leaving this company.

yeah right

In case you need musical accompaniment.

I apologize in arrears for my own verbosity.

What?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Where’s the photo of the The Shirt?

yeah right

I’ll figure it out give me a second.

yeah right

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Nice!

Imagine how great that shirt would be if the Vikings had actually made it there and/or won!

yeah right

Don’t harsh my mellow.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Are they hiring? Not kidding.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Three minutes into John Wick and it’s losing the battle vs going to sleep.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If he kills that puppy I’m going to be very upset.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Spoiler

MOTHERFUCKER

Senor Weaselo

Someone’s behind on their memes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And movies and all the things.

Brocky

If i didn’t know better i’d say you were trolling.

i literally only know 1 thing about that movie’s plot.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Then you knew one thing more than I did when I hit play.

Brocky
Senor Weaselo

I like this better!

yeah right

Needs more Instant Pot!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

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Brocky

the pub crawl sounds like what happened to me in college.

As I had zero business organizing a crawl, “scheduled way too many bars, and got mad when the group didn’t stay together

closest thing I had to an actual pub crawl was the bachelor party in wrigleyville, which led to this wonderful evening:

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Brocky

ah, hello old friend. the “screenshot that looks completely fine one setting but looks like shit everywhere else effect.

shit like this is why i drink

Fronkenshteen
Sharkbait
Sharkbait

I’m shocked, shocked I tell you.

Fronkenshteen

Get that Nobel Peace Prize ready!

ballsofsteelandfury

So, did TWBS ever make it to what seemed to be the awesomest bar in town?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Yes. And then he (didn’t even have to get high and) just sort of wandered off.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The Harbor Room!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Shit. Everyone really is at the pub crawl.

Anyway, leftists are stupid.

Soccer’s great because I can choose the teams I support based entirely upon politics. That sounds like a joke but I swear that’s why I became a Liverpool fan years ago

ballsofsteelandfury

I can’t stand the Beatles hence I don’t like Liverpool. The city is nice though.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

I can choose the teams I support based entirely upon politics

Shit.

Senor Weaselo

They’re owned by the guy who owns the Red Sox, so as far as I’m concerned the entire city of Liverpool can fall into a sinkhole.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Wow, back to back apology commercials. Burn it all down.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Boo west coast bar crawls. Come east damnit!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Hey if it weren’t for the west coast I’d have never met your wife.

Wakezilla

Holy shit the NHL schedule is extra shitty this year. Why the fuck haven’t the Jets/Preds played game 7 yet?

litre_cola

Justin Timberlake concert.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

My therapist: You need stop fixating on “Skull Cow”. It’s not real and it can’t hurt you.
Skull Cow:
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I am off to meet the legendary Brick Meathook and the Erstwhile Veterinarian tWBS. If you don’t hear from me in a few hours, send the cops.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Wait! You didn’t leave the number for 9-1-1!

litre_cola

It is ok, TwBs has an ankle bracelet.

/ is a tennis bracelet
/dammit

SonOfSpam

Had no idea “erstwhile” meant “gay” but here we are.

litre_cola
litre_cola

Rick Reilly is writing for the Athletic. Someone shoot him.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Shot, over.
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Redshirt

Okay, so NOW the Reds got their 10th win for real this time. Also, they’re apparently still giving a shit because they noticed the Mets bat out of order in the 1st Inning. Obviously the Wilmer Flores was in a rush to get outta Cincy so he couldn’t wait his turn to get the game over.

Not sure if the Reds are not as epically bad as their historically bad start indicated or the Mets are just very, very bad.

yeah right

The pub crawl will begin at the Tavern on Main but additional stops will include El Segundo Brewing Company, The Standard Station, Richmond Street Bar & Grill and possibly The Office Downtown then probably ending at Rock & Brew on Main.

Bring your drinking helmet!

LemonJello
LemonJello

Have one foar me!

/put it on tWBS’s tab, though

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is there another ad hoc pub crawl next weekend? My LA weekends are flipped.

yeah right

There’s an Angels game that the right clan will be attending, that may explain the confusion.

scotchnaut

I don’t want to bring this thread down but I do want to share that my Aunt F. has been taken off the respirator and it’s just a matter of time. If you’re extraordinarily lucky you might have this sort of person in your life.

As a kid i looked forward to the trips we would take to the beach. As a member of a new struggling mother/father team she stepped in and helped us immeasurably without asking anything in return. She just wanted to be a part of our kid’s lives. For three years straight she showed up every Thursday at 4pm to help my oldest deliver papers. When we couldn’t afford daycare she offered to pick up my boys and take care of them until my wife was off work.

She held “Olympic Ice Cream Parties” for all her great-nieces and -nephews and encouraged them to invite all of their friends. Her generosity was boundless.

If you happen to have a remarkable person in your life now or back in your formative years, share that rather than condolences.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Were these Olympic ice cream parties during the Olympics?

scotchnaut

Winter Olympics? Yeah, she would hire a guy to make luge/slide courses off the deck as well as obstacle courses that consisted of tunnels and hills made of snow.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

She sounds awesome.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

The best thing is to focus on the good times, the joys you shared, and know that she will go with grace and peace.

Redshirt

Don’t mourn her death; celebrate her life.

Also, if you’re religious. She’s not dying; she’s just going home to meet her God and be reunited with her dearly departed loved ones.

Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Pass on those Ice Cream parties. Her generosity will live on in those.

SonOfSpam

That’s a real nice tribute. All the best to you and your family.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Too many concussions to play football? Run for Congress as a Republican! The Anthony Gonzalez story.

litre_cola

Sexual Congress? – R. Grossman

LemonJello
LemonJello

All those Congressional Pages? Pregnant. Boom.