AFL Beat – 2018 Round 10

This week,

You may be wondering what those three pictures mean.  Well, the big news this week is that the Docklands stadium currently known as Etihad Stadium will, starting next year, be sponsored by Marvel and be known as Marvel Stadium.  If they don’t do a Deadpool tie-in, people should be fired.  As it is, they’ve started with painting a wall of the stadium with that theme:

But that’s next year.  What happened this week?  A lot!  Let’s find out.

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!


Round 10

The Round started off with the Magpies taking on the Doggies at Marvel Stadium.  When I woke up at the godforsaken time of 4 AM for no good reason,  I saw the game was close early in the second half.

Well,  the Pies must have loved me watching them because they went on a tear and took the game by 35. Only 1 off my prediction… Here are the highlights:

On proper Friday Night,  the first game was the expected blowout of the Saints by the Tigers. To their credit,  the Saints hung in there. They only lost by 28 in a game that could have gotten really out of hand.  Highlights:

Next,  the Brisbane Lions hosted the Sydney Swans and AGAIN played really well.  However,  they only managed to lose by 18 in a very low-scoring game.  Moral victories only go so far… Highlights:

I don’t know how, but I managed to wake up to take a dump and caught the Geelong-Carlton game.  It was a horrendously shitty game that somehow someway the Cats managed to win in spite of themselves.  I loved the post-game press conference by coach Chris Scott.  He was totally pissed.

This is why I love this team.  Highlights:

I thought I’d catch a bit of the GWS game,  but they weren’t playing well either and I didn’t want to feel bad for BFC. The Bombers won by 35. Highlights:

North American Saturday Night brought three more games and I managed to watch almost all of the Hawks-Eagles game. It actually was a great game and now I think the Eagles might actually be for real. To beat Hawthorn in Melbourne is a big feather in their cap.  Highlights:

I started watching this game but it was late and I was tired and I thought I was having hallucinations.  The Demons started off with a 7 goal first quarter and didn’t look back. They beat the former Top FOUR Adelaide Crows by 91 and,  quite frankly, I don’t know what to believe anymore. Here are the highlights:

Finally,  the Fremantle Dockers hosted the Kangaroos in Perth and,  surprisingly,  the Roos had no problem defeating the home team.  Similar to West Coast’s victory in Melbourne,  North’s victory in Perth is mighty impressive.  Highlights:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

1 West Coast Eagles 9 1 0 36 135.8
2 Richmond Tigers 8 2 0 32 133.4
3 Melbourne Demons 7 3 0 28 136.6
4 Sydney Swans 7 3 0 28 116.1
5 North Melbourne Kangaroos 6 4 0 24 120.5
6 Geelong Cats 6 4 0 24 118.0
7 Adelaide Crows 6 4 0 24 109.7
8 Collingwood Magpies 6 4 0 24 109.6
9 Port Adelaide Power 6 3 0 24 108.1
10 Hawthorn Hawks 5 5 0 20 104.8
11 GWS Giants 4 5 1 18 97.8
12 Essendon Bombers 4 6 0 16 93.8
13 Fremantle Dockers 4 6 0 16 85.5
14 Western Bulldogs 4 6 0 16 77.9
15 Gold Coast Suns 3 6 0 12 73.7
16 St. Kilda Saints 1 8 1 6 70.1
17 Brisbane Lions 1 9 0 4 81.7
18 Carlton Blues 1 9 0 4 63.2

The Eagles, Demons, and Roos are the pleasant surprises of the season.  Everyone expected them to fall from their positions from last year and they’ve done the opposite.  Let’s see if they can keep that up when they start playing more good teams.

On the other side of the ladder, it looks like a three-way battle for the Wooden Spoon with Gold Coast being lucky that they got those three wins early in the year.  I don’t think they win another game.

Here is the patented Balls Graph (TM):

Download (PDF, 229KB)


Footy Tipping Contest

Here is where we are after Round 10:

P TIPPER Round Tips Round Margin TOTAL Tips TOTAL Margin
1 SonOfSpam 7 24 64 272
2 Sunrisesunrise 6 24 64 277
3 Spanky Datass 7 23 63 297
4 Litre_cola 6 27 59 265
5 WhyEaglesWhy 4 35 59 306
6 BALLS 4 1 58 299
7 Joliet Jake Delhomme 3 15 57 282
8 Dolph Ucker 8 18 55 405
9 BFC 5 16 52 280
10 JPF 8 16 49 320
11 nomonkeyfun 3 35 48 270
12 blaxabbath 4 35 41 313
13 Game Time Decision 8 23 41 361
14 Sharkbait 4 35 39 356

A VERY Hearty Well Done to Game Time Decision, JPF, and Dolph Ucker, who had PERFECT weeks and picked all eight games correctly.  This allowed Game Time Decision to overtake Sharkbait, who once again forgot to put the footy tips in, and leave him in the Wooden Spoon position.  Keep up the good work, boys!  As for the three that did not enter in their picks, you know what that means!

Yes, it’s a repeat, but I really like this pic…



AFL Round 10

Here is the schedule for this week (all times Pacific):

Friday, June 1, 2018

2:50 AM (Late Thursday Night) – Sydney Swans v Carlton Blues at the SCG

Sydney doesn’t play well at home, but they don’t play THAT badly that they’d lose to the Blues, do they?

8:45 PM – Western Bulldogs v Melbourne Demons at Etihad Marvel Stadium

I refuse to believe that the Demons are any good.  However, the Doggies are not exactly tough competition…

9:10 PM – Hawthorn Hawks v Port Adelaide Power at University of Tasmania Stadium

This is a very even game.  The Power is rested while the Hawks want to make up for this week’s loss and always play well in Tasmania.

11:35 PM  – Gold Coast Suns v Geelong Cats at Metricon Stadium

This is realistically the first real home game that Gold Coast has had all year.  If the Cats keep playing like they did the last two weeks, the Suns could get a win.

Saturday,  June 2, 2018

2:25 AM (Late Friday Night) – Essendon Bombers v Richmond Tigers at the MCG

This should be a very exciting, fast, and furious game.  Richmond will probably win, but it should be fun to watch.

3:10 AM (Late Friday Night) – West Coast Eagles v St. Kilda Saints at Optus Stadium

North Melbourne just beat Fremantle at Optus. Can St. Kilda repeat that feat against the Eagles?  Yeah, probably not.

8:10 PM – North Melbourne Kangaroos v Brisbane Lions at Etihad Marvel Stadium

So the Roos seem like the real deal.  This game should tell us if they fall into the trap of underestimating a one-win team.

10:20 PM – Collingwood Magpies v Fremantle Dockers at the MCG

The Pies look poised to continue their climb up the ladder while the Dockers seem to be regressing.

11:40 PM – Adelaide Crows v GWS Giants at Adelaide Oval

Last week’s game was considered a MUST-WIN and the Giants lost.  Is it possible they are now looking into tee times and possible vacation spots?


No byes this week as Round 11 is the Sir Doug Nichols Indigenous Round.  The Round celebrates the relationship between the game and Indigenous Australia by connecting AFL fans to Indigenous culture. The Round also celebrates the incredible impact Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander players have made on the game.

Sir Doug, who epitomised the spirit of reconciliation, played 54 games for Fitzroy and was a brilliant all-round athlete. The first Aboriginal person to be knighted, he also served as Governor of South Australia and was devoted to the well being of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

My favourite part of this round is the special guernseys that teams wear.  As usual, I’ll write up a mid-week post with the special guernseys and the meanings behind them.  See you mid-week!




International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I love the Balls Graph (TM). The more complex they are the better!

You’re joking about the (TM) but you shouldn’t. I just did a search at the USPTO and the term is available. I’ll give you five days to initiate a trademark claim or else I’m going to do it and then you’ll have to lease it from me.

Incidentally, I did a Google search for “Balls Graph” and came up with “Harvey Balls,” which seem to be nothing more than pie charts, although Harvey Balls would be a good name for a movie character. The first porno movie I ever saw was Disco Dolls in Hot Skin starring John Holmes and I saw it in the same theater that I saw The Sound of Music in some years prior and the porno was in 3-D and they gave you cardboard glasses at the door and it had a detective storyline (Johnny Wadd!) and the villain’s name was “Harry Balls.” I’m just putting that information out there, folks.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Game Time Decision

Go the email that i’d gone 8 for 8. Woohooo. Log in, see that I’m not the only one to do it, well done JPF and Dolph Ucker


Hey look, NC State Baseball….that’s what happens when you lose 4 of your last 5 games. You go from national seed, to barely hanging on to host the first round.



I am just historically bad at this.

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Woo hoo Essendon on the upswing!


I don’t want your pity.

The GWS game was close through 3 and then bam the 4th was a rout. Poor ruckwork, terrible kick efficiency, and getting straight outworked by the Bombers meant “hanging in there” wasn’t going to be enough.


I knew it would go poorly for the Saints but not this poorly