Your It’s Not The Charlotte 600 Because It’s Not Porn Sunday Night Open Thread

This is one of the rare Sundays I get to enjoy fully.  Tomorrow is Memorial Day,  hence no work and no going to bed early.

Will I spend the time fruitfully?

Well, I’m watching NASCAR, so you be the judge. As I mentioned last year,  today is the GREATEST DAY IN MOTORSPORTS with the Monaco Grand Prix, the Indianapolis 500, and the Coca Cola 600 all on the same day.

Earlier this morning, Daniel Ricciardo of Australia,  who broke the track record in obtaining the pole position for this race, easily won for the first time in Monaco.  Please note that I wrote this on Saturday.  Let’s see if I was right… I was.

Although he experienced power problems midway through the race,  Daniel was able to hold off the field, lead every lap, and actually extend his lead at the end to win by over six seconds.

I’m happy for him because he’s one of the few good dudes in Formula 1. And considering the number of assholes that abound in that series,  that’s saying something.

In the second race,  it was much more difficult to predict ahead of time who would win. There is a lot more passing and crazy shit happens. Ed Carpenter got the pole position while Danica Patrick qualified 7th.

In the end, Will Power got the win.  That’s 2 for 2 for Australia,  btw.

As for the NASCAR race,  there are two drivers that are red-hot going in: Kyle Busch,  my favourite driver,  has three wins in the season and leads the point standings.

Kevin Harvick,  however,  is even hotter. He has 5 (FIVE!) wins on the season (out of 12 races to date,  mind you) and just won the $1 million All- Star race at Charlotte last weekend.

He’s your favorite.

So,  sit back,  crank up the grill,  throw some dogs and burgers on there,  and open up some beers or sodas.  It’s that kind of day and that’s an excellent way to enjoy it.

Oh,  and comment here,  of course.

Obligatory:

Editor’s Note: We have a World Cup Pool!! Please click the link below to sign up:

https://www.pooltracker.com/join.asp?poolid=149105

The pool password is “Balls”

As always,  there will be a fabulous prize given to the winner.  Join today!!

369 words, y’all!

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ballsofsteelandfury
Balls somehow lost his bio and didn't realize it. He's now scrambling to write something clever and failing. He likes butts, boobs, most things that start with the letter B, and writing in the Second Person. Geelong, Toluca, Barcelona, and Steelers, in that order.
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Senor Weaselo

We’re almost ready to back up Senor’s computer. I figure it should be all done at this rate by June. Of 2022.

theeWeeBabySeamus

You poor poor bastard.
I gotta do that soon.

Senor Weaselo

I waited too long as I believe my computer can no longer RAM IT! like it once did.

I’ll have to deactivate and reactivate Finale when I get a new laptop, that’s what’ll annoy me most.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I randomly met the Avett’s bassist not too long ago in a random North Carolina store.
Nice guy.
(far left)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tFGs7HP15d4

Fronkenshteen

The weed grinder: Cost effective or Destroyer of resin glands?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

And I thought I was high.

Brick Meathook

That’s a pretty nice effect. It’s a warp on a still frame; not really difficult to do but it was genius to think it up.

Senor Weaselo

So I just had to sit through Eight Crazy Nights. I have no idea why but the couch was really comfy and my friend gave me a very fuzzy pillow to stroke (not a euphemism). She probably got the best of it as she conked out midway through.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook

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.

Brick Meathook

I’ve seen this. Dolphins love submarines:
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Brick Meathook

They know you’re watching them and they start showing off if you hoot and holler. I saw it many times, out in the middle of the North Atlantic. They were there because they wanted to be there.
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Fronkenshteen

Whale?

Brick Meathook

Moose’s gif looks like TWO whales. Mine are dolphins.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s from the monster alligator movie, just special affects. Whale don’t go that shallow unless they are lost or committing suicide.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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YEP! She’s a ……KEEPER.

/Yes, I used this joke again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Patriarchy.

blaxabbath

Danika crashing to end it all sounds like a good joke material.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

A little scotch before an early wakeup seems like a good decision.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just a smidgen.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I got talked into a 10k. Walking it, but still.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Obviously

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

All the brown liquor in play tonight

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Hello! Did you know this site uses cookies?

How about now?

How about now?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

So…… this game just perpetuates the idea that lebron’s biggest shortcoming is his habit of seeming to play down to his competition?

I won’t pretend to closely follow the NBA, I try and try, it just doesn’t click.

But for fucks sake, where was this guy earlier in the series?

Sharkbait

Basketball is the worst.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Halfway to a fourth straight warriors Cavs final?

http://www.reactiongifs.com/r/2012/01/dismissive_wanking.gif

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

On the bright side, at least there will be more sad Boston fans tonight

Brocky

Yeah, but it’s the 4th smallest group of Boston fans.

Gratliff

Until the Patriots miss the playoffs, anyway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think I’d blow a gasket.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Total domination. Just like Ricciardo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yeah, I don’t care if they shave or not.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I’m getting up for a beer; anybody want one?

Sharkbait

Make mine a porter.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

[rummages….]

OK!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, Four Roses bottle, you’re not getting a trip west. You’re going into a Manhattan and into my belly.

Sharkbait

Good decision.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Dexter has a woody.
Don ‘t blame him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Afraid woody is ok, people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

Freddy krueger 2 is so fucking weird

Sharkbait

This is the longest I’ve watched a basketball game in years.

Dumb question: is there a basketball equivalent to the Prince Wales/ Clarence Campbell trophy?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Not really. It’s all or nothing mostly.

Gratliff

This is the only good version of this meme

By age 35 you should know what hard times are daddy. And hard times are when a man has worked at a job for thirty years, thirty years, and they give him a watch, kick him in the butt and say "hey a computer took your place, daddy", that's hard times! That's hard times! pic.twitter.com/xpmHK3RAiT

— Rob Schamberger (@robschamberger) May 27, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

I don’t get the “meme” part, to he honest

Wakezilla

I installed a sink for my MIL today. Even with the hot/cold taps turned off, I get a slight drip. What did I do wrong and how can I fix it?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Stop calling her a drip

Brocky

assuming they’ve got washers, replace the washers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

A fun game is to imagine how many loads have been dumped in that shower

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

or anywhere in the house.

Gratliff

or how many of them weren’t human

Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This gif turned out well graphically speaking.

Brick Meathook

WAS THAT A WORLD CUP PROMO DURING THE NASCAR RACE? HA HA HA GOOD LUCK

Sharkbait

I wonder how much Fox paid for the rights. I mean people will watch, but viewership will be down

Brick Meathook

Oh Fox will make out fine. It’s just those two demographics don’t overlap much.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

$400MM for this year and 2022

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

Sup.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Thank you all for your input on tonight’s viewing options. Stumbling out of Brewery number 2, the clubhouse leader is anything I can watch from my couch while continuing to plow through my liquor cabinet.

Gratliff

Please don’t fuck the liquor cabinet

litre_cola

Don’t get a splinter.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR

Redshirt

I’m suddenly finding my father is stuck in the 1990s when it comes to prices.

“Hey Dad, I found a sump pump for $300.” “I can find one for just over a hundred.”
“I found a hotel room in Chicago for Saturday night for $250.” “Did you search everywhere?”
“I can buy the keys to the Fountain of Youth for $1,000.” “I can find you a better deal.”

herodotus450

Prices increased but wages didn’t?
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This guy HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATES potato salad.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Today was the Grand Prix? Did anyone see Benoit? Balls?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Benoit balls…..

NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICE!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

I played horsehoes at a friend’s house last night so naturally I had a pretty good hangover most of the day and it’s a rainy, cloud, cold-ass day here in CT so sitting around watching pretty cars go round and round and occasionally bounce into and off things sounds like a pretty good way to spend the evening.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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better ‘n’ golf

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If I need to choose between seeing Infinity War, Solo, or nothing tonight, what does the kommentariat recommend?

yeah right

Cubs Giants and game 7 Cleveland Boston. I’ve seen neither movie so I’m staying sports centric.

Horatio Cornblower

My daughter speaks highly of Infinity War, if that helps.

theeWeeBabySeamus

The baby legs part is worth the price of admission all by itself.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Infinity War following by Deadpool 2.

Gratliff

To be fair, no one seems to know if Solo is any good because most people haven’t bothered with it

scotchnaut

“In other racing news, after today’s binge at the Golden Corral Andy Reid’s heart feels like it’s about to burst.”