INT. DINGY BASEMENT – DAY
MARC TRESTMAN’S WINDOWLESS VAN sits in an overstuffed lounge chair, napping gently.
MARC TRESTMAN’S WINDOWLESS VAN: [sits up with a start] Oh shit! I forgot! Request Line is on!
He takes out a radio set and fiddles with the dials, joining the radio show in progress.
NFL GENERAL COUNSEL JEFF PASH: …and so as the old adage goes, “imitation is the most sincere form of flattery.” And since the owners had no interest in actually standing up to the administration, we decided that’s the route we would take.
PRODUCER: So let me get this straight and put it in plain English for our listeners. Roger Goodell…
JEFF PASH: [interrupts] The Commissioner.
PRODUCER: …ahem, the commissioner is going to have his own pardon power?
JEFF PASH: You know how we lawyers feel about plain English, but yes, that’s the gist of it.
PRODUCER: But doesn’t the collective bargaining agreement make the commissioner…
JEFF PASH: Capitalize that, please.
PRODUCER: [blinks a few times, continues]…The Commissioner into the sole arbiter of discipline, as well as give him control of the appeals process?
JEFF PASH: Yes, that’s right.
PRODUCER: So…isn’t the “pardon power” as you describe it already inherent in the process?
JEFF PASH: No, because what we’re talking about happens after the disciplinary and appeals processes have completed. If a player expresses sufficient regret for their actions, The Commissioner may choose to grant them clemency.
PRODUCER: So basically if a player who has been disciplined by the league does a sufficient job of groveling…[rolls eyes]…The Commissioner may choose to grant them a reprieve?
JEFF PASH: Again, that’s not the language we’d use to describe the process, but I think the basic idea is coming across here. Perhaps it might be fitting with the nature of the program to play some music that illustrates that.
PRODUCER: We’re talking songs about apologies and expressing regret?
JEFF PASH: Exactly. I’ll get us started with one from Belle and Sebastian, as a reminder to young players who are thinking about disrupting the pre-game rituals – strike that – ceremonies with ill-advised protest actions.
Editor’s Note: Today’s theme is “expressing regret”. In order to have videos appear in comments, you don’t have to mess around with embed codes or anything, just post plain links as such: “https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FuQ_g00d3LL”. When you hit refresh it should show up as embedded and you can rock out at your leisure. If your link doesn’t pick up, an admin will try to help out.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5fj_uq6Zr4
Page Hamilton seems like the kind of guy that has a Google Alert go off whenever his name is mentioned anywhere online, so if you’re reading this Page, go fuck yourself. It’s not Helmet without John.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CPC239id9xY
Relationship regret, from Hippo’s ideal crazy lady:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVQqZg5BisE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rh3tXqL_yaU
MTWV was upstairs in a cheap office chair that kept breaking. I miss that dude.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-C-jXJl0Zrg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v6h5UCFFj_A
Done and done.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xkDIF9zSsc8
And I mean done.
For once, I am Kruschev pounding the podium in confidence of Glorious Proletariat Victory:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=spKOib_D5YY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tUzjCKjwfOM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y97EbzyC81I
Probably their best song. Colin Hay’s voice is made for regret. And brogue. Mostly regret.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aIGetEs1ooE
DOUBLE SHOT. A more downer version of a similar subject.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PyBDXluVBFk
Triple It!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I0AxrOUJ62E
Unfortunately…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8VwFMQql5Cw
This fits. In a way.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cBip6NotuKE
OK, one last regret for now, then my lazy ass should really go get some things done.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwtkZ7oTv1o
Dude.
Hehehehe
Garçon!!! Moar regret over here please…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NJWIbIe0N90
What are things young supple budtenders say before repeat dates with tWBS, Alex?
Damn dude, that’s just mean. 😀
(she’s coming to this side of the country to visit in about a month, btw)
I’m mean out of love and a tinge of jealousy
Tough, but fair.
Also…this….
https://wufpacker.deviantart.com/art/With-The-Pacific-In-Her-Eyes-747391151
Yes, I’m still pretty proud of myself.
Did you check her ID?
Didn’t have to. Waiter did it for me the first night we went to dinner and she ordered a drink.
Are, um…how to put this…are you guys gonna be safe, like, um, being together, uh, in public, uh, where you live in the south or whatever?
Sheesh, that was awkward.
No need for awkward. It really is something which could be a potential issue depending upon where we go while she’s here and the routes we take to get there. In this immediate vicinity, it’s not an issue.
We’ll probably drive AROUND South Carolina if we head on a roadtrip south, however
Exactly what I was going to say, they should be OK, especially if they go to Asheville, but just don’t stop anywhere between there and Greensboro.
Funny you say that. We have talked about heading up to the mountains for a few days by that very route.
What sucks is, truly, I was kidding.
Understood.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=JRIpShLZbEQ&feature=youtu.be
Doubling it up for the obvious comparisons between the title target, commish, and other pardoner
https://youtube.com/watch?v=VQva5wKSfzM
/shows self out
Last one for me, great band I saw in Athens GA –
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ov_ByEAACok
“That’s where we’re from!” – Michael Stipe
One of my absolute favorite parts of World War Z was the suggestion that one of the infantrymen in clearing the country was actually Michael Stipe: https://books.google.com/books?id=yd8oDwAAQBAJ&pg=PT219&lpg=PT219&dq=world+war+z+michael+stipe&source=bl&ots=hUYskkji-3&sig=bQJHsUvnNI31d1soZdSla53Dtcw&hl=en&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwjUqPuLmLPbAhWMtlkKHVI1AjQQ6AEIVzAK#v=onepage&q=world%20war%20z%20michael%20stipe&f=false
Regret you say?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ahha3Cqe_fk
Song about no regrets.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r2EkZftOV0
I know why this is still on the board, but I’m taking it off the board
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=PXzuDXZwZtI
HA!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGDyAb6pePo
SONG DOUBLE SHOT
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6EPwRdVg5Ug
This should count but will probably lead to a suspension doubling:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=_HPVVuCYBAs&feature=youtu.be
The sentiments of a lot of the players before the owners went out and got all gag ordery:
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=x-5OX7CO26c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TnrNV_7qc5M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oR4yM3eR5Tk
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Aca9_utsUHg
Fuck Roger Goodell
If I had a nickel for every time I had to say this to a girl…I might have exactly zero nickels.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lyNa-ReeZc8
Yeah I think you’re actually in arrears by this point.
Quality pick, though.
“I know I am!”
– Aaron R.
With apologies (heh) to Connie Francis, Ella’s version was better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uPY5RLYHWvI
Those Eye-ties don’t know shit about apologizing. Damned greasy wops.
Not that I can ever actually believe that Prince ever regretted anything
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4drKlxfgpdw
I think was from that 80s movie where the guy went to Greece and had two chicks or something. Good movie, from a wish-fulfillment standpoint.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wo9QxYpMbTU
You are correct. The title was Summer Lovers . 16 yr old tWBS really enjoyed that movie. Several times.
True story, Bro.
I also can’t believe I didn’t think of that song, dammit.
LOL right. Good skin in that movie.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CduA0TULnow
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxfjSnMN88U
This song is an all-timer.
The Queen of Regretful Songs-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MWCUh6tf7PA
Double Shot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iuZTk1hdpMs
I’ll just leave this here
https://youtube.com/watch?v=9JhsUFuqbCM&feature=youtu.be
“I categorically refuse to believe that any song with ‘corn dog’ in the title could possibly be about regret.” – Andy Reid
/but seriously there’s something I really like about this artist. She’s going to feature prominently on the “crippling alcoholism” edition of Request Line that’s coming up sometime over the summer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fh4cdIIxh6o
/starts drinking now in preparation
Is refusal to apologize fair game?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pojL_35QlSI
Absolutely.
In that case….
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=59bLUwYONEI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hl_EEpRfrkk
I want to rewrite the lyrics of this to describe Marc Trestman at the impound lot.
I sit in the chair
And wait for my name
Wishin’ everything could be the same
Like when I called to the kids
We’ll listen to Phish
I’ll give you candy
I’ll give you everything I have in my hand
Walking among the Corvettes
Papers in my hand
Motions to all the lot guards
Getting it back will be grand
We’ll listen to Phish
I’ll give you candy
I’ll give you everything I have in my hand
Give me, give back my van
Give me, give back my van
Tired of the car pool
Ridin’ round and round
If I don’t get the van back
I’ll never get rid of this frown
We’ll listen to Phish
I’ll give you candy
I’ll give you everything I have in my hand
Give me,…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9EHAo6rEuas
I should probably apologize for that one. LMFAO.
Now now the Canadian government has apologized for Bryan Adams on several occasions
Apologizing a trillion times seems excessive.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYxAiK6VnXw
Yeah at that point they’re not even going to be mad about the original transgression anymore, they’re just going to be mad about you wasting their time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5u5LZ-DN3iA
Mike Ness’ apologies come with a snarl. (I also come with a snarl. It’s unfortunate.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aXAU4MmMIMo
A response in the form of a DOUBLE SHOT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G3q5VO2KzKk
You guys just described how not to get divorced.
LOL was just typing something like that
At first glance I saw the album title as “Have You Tried the Fish Taco?”
If you eat only the fish taco correctly, you won’t get divorced.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xd8tOAJMA8Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RUGKx_kWaVk
Thank you for posting this, I had forgotten this song and I immediately went and bought it.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qCf5-lQpuvg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=77pb0WXAz-Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3nScN89Klo
Dammit, too slow. Good song for drinking straight 151 and cutting yourself.
Actually it was Everclear with powdered gatorade and I almost passed out weeping into the lap of my crush while her boyfriend looked at me like I was a loser. Which at that point, I was. That is my definition of pathetic.
Ouch. I’m in pain for younger you. But shit…who hasn’t had a moment kinda like that?
Since we used Orange Gatorade mixed w/Everclear at our dorm parties, we called it poontang.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eocCPDxKq1o
(squeezes balls to make voice high) “AIN’T THERE NOTHING LEFT FOR ME”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DnfSoaJxe3Y
Since TWBS stole my first-rounder…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nypnMAXnhTw
Which’n?
Never mind, I see now. 😛
No, Nevermind’s a different album.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SXBRkVJOT_E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yCst8UKSfL8
RIKKI: [makes same face Reggie McKenzie did when he saw that the 49ers had taken Mike McGlinchey]
/by which I mean excellent selection; it was at the top of my board
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkmvABmnkf4