Much to my surprise, the assdick MLB ownership cabal finally made a reasonable offer and we’ll have el beisbol after all. Hooray, I guess? I mostly ignored it last season, and suspect I will again. Aside from making many, many of my patented #BFIB taeks/jokes.
It’s also tournament time, making college basketball kinda sorta watchable. Not that my team is part of any madness. But still, some quality TV time.
Which feels…GOOD? Just seeing the sportsball calendar normalize makes me feel MOAR centered. Not that I am ever gonna be or feel NORMAL by any rational standard – but we all have our sliding scale.
Somebody give Daddy Vladdy some of his own medicine (ie, plutonium tea) and 2022 will be cooking with gas. To the fixtures!
Don’t wake up for the Redshite murder-killing poor Brighton (7:30, Peacock). Stop, stop, they’re already ded (but not in the relegation zone, thanks to a good start to the Trashbird campaign).
OK, I spoke to soon of “normal” – only one, sad match in the 10:00 window – Team White LIves Matter visiting the Bees (USA). Brentford could still be in quite a bit of jeopardy, should they lose here. Almost certainly a brutal watch, win, lose, or draw.
Men Untied get suddenly shit-hot Spurs on the streaming-only Spotlight Dance (12:30, Peacock). So annoying. Man, has Ronaldo ever fucked the Mancs six ways to Sunday. Strange days, indeed. Football manager teaches you to never buy players over 25, especially when they still think they deserve “star treatment” well into their 30s. See also, Leo Messi.
FIVE matches kick off at 10:00 on Sunday, and my poor Toffees hosting Wolves doesn’t even get USA coverage (Hammers/Villa there). Fuck, am I gonna be one nervous Bitter Blue over the next few weeks/months. Arsenal/Leicester (12:30, USA) should be decent. And of course, MNF with Palace hosting Man City (4:00, USA).
I suppose we will get more into the hoops previewing tonight, assuming I don’t nod off midday. Fuck you, YOU have a problem.
I have a feeling some bad stuff is about to go down.
“And come back up again.”
-Joey Chestnut
Michigan St/Purdue is a grain silo burner!
Colony of 100k chinstrap penguins, one of the 3 species of penguins we saw. All 3 species are freaking adorable
That’s fucking amazing
“Typical lovey-dovey liberal bullshit. Where are the Bootstrap Penguins?”
-T. Carlson
Tuckyo Rose.
Kittehs!!1!1!
Did you see the ones that have the yellow mohawk? Macaroni I think? Or Rockhopper? Penguins are so cool!
So the Pearl Washington internet hole morphed into a “NY City Point Guard” hole. It is sorta amazing that across multiple generations, these guys could get to the hoop whenever they wanted but all had horrible, push shot jumpers. Some eventually worked on them but the list is ridiculously long-
Kenny Anderson, Sam Worthen, Rod Strickland, Mark Jackson, Kenny Smith, Tiny Archibald, Sebastian Telfair, John Roche, God Shammgod, Dean Meminger
Tiny Archibald had another cool nickname. They also called him “Nate the Skate.” I am old as fuck. Get off my lawn!
Only NBA’er to ever lead the league in scoring and assists in the same year. [pulls up lawn chair, offers GG a Sleeman’s beer, salt and vinegar chips, ice wine and a Coffee Crisp]
Why, thankee kindly!
Howdy. Had a VERY lazy morning after indulging a bit last night, so having a beer outside to balance the universe.
I was debating finishing the bottle of very nice wine we opened last night with some lasagna leftovers, but I decided I’d save it for this evening.
Left. Overs?
– Andy Reid confused
That’s what he calls his poop.
pro tip: set your clocks ahead now to get a head start on all the circadian adjustments and heart attacks that come with daylight savings time.
“I heard that a ton of suicides occur during this time. Like, lots of them.”
-The internet
“But the per hour rate per day drops significantly!”
— Twitter
It’ll just take an hour off my jetlag, works out well for me!
I went down a Cusehole and discovered that Dwayne “Pearl” Washington-at 6’1″-played center and point guard during his senior year of high school ball. (!?) He averaged 35 points, 10 rebounds and 8 assists that year.
/Wat?
I am home and no longer stuck in Argentina! Woohoo!
Still miss the penguins though, penguins are the best
Speaking of, Sidney Crosby’s version of “Don’t Cry For Me Argentina” is the best.
Welcome back!
I was starting to worry about you! I figured you were manning anti-aircraft guns in Kyiv.
I figured her more as a, “Slip poison from a pen into the champagne glass of an arch-villain”, type-person but I’m like a real sophisticated dude and somesuch.
You is fancy!
I did put some thought into assassinating Putin, but figured the CIA was on it. They’re not coming through though so may have to reconsider
“Have you maybe thought about an exploding cigar like Groucho did in that hilarious movie? Boy, was that ever funny! Seriously though-exploding cigar is the way to go.”
-Zymm’s CIA handlers
Anvil dropped on the head. Meep Meep!
Indiana and Iowa are in a real Denny’s burner!
Stupid Spurs. Can’t believe they allowed a hat trick to that old washed up ugly statue.
His ugliness will never be forgotten.
Typical. I do all the work and the white imperialist walks in and takes all the credit.
Watching a bio of Norm Stewart, the old Mizzou coach. He won 731 games over 38 seasons but never reached a Final Four. I’m feeling a bit better about the legacy of that cranky, crochety, contrarian curmudgeon that coaches Cuse.
I have 3 hours to myself. I will roll a large hash joint, throw on ome tunes, and pack up the house with no distraction. May even crack a breakfast cider.
This is how you get it done!
Went with a Rose Cava instead and some industrious Black Crowes
My go-to tunes for packing or cleaning are the Ramones.
Packing time has come today…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2WYLSXJVpI
That is a solid choice for morning chore wine!
Spurs penalty kick draws them level at 1 each
MRSA Dreamboat sighting at the United-Spurs game! Manchester seems like a strange place to want to visit in March (unless you like cloudy days and barm cakes). Is this trip some kind of punishment from the Glazers for retiring from the Bucs?
Sir! No report from the front? Are you finally taking some time away and letting the “hired” help do their part?
Greetings, fellow White supporter! I shall provide my full update tomorrow during what will hopefully be yet another successful conquest by our brave and gallant Water Pistols. I was deeply disturbed by the inability of the Whites to overcome a group of barnyard animals from South Yorkshire earlier today. Harry Wilson should be sent to slave away in the coltan mines of the Congo Free State for his egregious miss in stoppage time!
He was trying to be too pretty sir.
Jeebus! This shot clock review has been going on for almost 10 fucking minutes.
Cornell/Princeton has turned into a real library burner!
“Tell me more…”
-Savanarola
[adjusts cassock to hide erection]
C. Montgomery Burns vs. Trump next.
Who’s the bigger villain?
Cecil Terwilliger vs. Andy Bernard
All these games going on at once-which conference do these teams play in?
Speaking of Fat Joe Lunardi, this showed up on my YubTub feed. It’s called a “Pig Shot”, which is thick cut bacon surrounding a smaller piece of kielbasa and the open space is filled with cream and cheddar cheese and jalapenos. Gah!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BvClvtLOZRQ&ab_channel=PostalBarbecue
Thankfully I’m the only person present at the laundromat. I can hit and run this laundry and be home in time to get a 4 mile walk in. Happy Saturday.
For a guy that has only had one good season, Saquon sure has his share of endorsements.
/and yes, the gesture is annoying as fuck but Zeke should have at least one cereal ad
Good Christ, Joe Lunardi been on the Andy Reid BEEFCAKE!! Diet
You ain’t kidding. That’s a whole lotta Joe.
Eating Crisco with a spoon? Game recognize game. – Andy R., Kanss City, MO
He also sports the meanest sky piece since Marv Alberts.
It’s practically performance art.
This might seem weird to say and it’s not just wishful thinking, but for a 28-5 team Duke looks very beatable.
Tonight, we is all Castrated Turkeys!
Just tonight? – Litrepug
Only time I ever rioted for Syracuse. Probably what did them in.
You should riot more often!
We all should.
Stupid phone and fat thumbs
It’s the rhyme of the unheard.
That’ll do, Burnley; that’ll do.
Good morning! It’s sunny again in Los Angeles and I fear that we’re not going to get any more rain this spring.
Isn’t LA’s aquifer in big trouble?
There technically isn’t an aquifer. There’s an aqueduct and we steal all of our water from the Owens Valley AKA the Eastern side of the Sierras. The first couple of storms we had in December provided a massive snow pack but it’s been fuck all rain wise ever since.
“this spring”, “ever again”.
Whichever.
Who’s gonna be the one to tell Cecil that ‘the help’ are now enrolled in significant numbers at our institutions of higher learning?
“What’s next, a combustion engine?”
Wait until he finds out about two day weekends
And lunchbreaks
“The opposite sex can vote? And own land?!”
/adjusts monocle
There. Now I’m ready to watch Princeton/Cornell.
“Princeton Cornell” sounds like the preppy antagonist in an 80s film.
You just know he has the collar on his Lacoste polo shirt popped up.
TRUE HIPPO FACT – I did have an Izod phase as a young lad. Which was quite the contrast to how unruly (and almost uncombed) my hair was.
James Spader.
Holy shit. This made me really laugh hard.
Beesus/WLM is as dire and goalless as Everton needs it to be.
Woke up this morning after just six hours of sleep, feeling fine, no hangover. This seems suspicious. I can only assume I will pay for it for this afternoon.
You can tell Dunstan never checked into the parenting hotel. JUST 6 hours????
The Parenting Hotel is like the Hotel California — you can never leave.
And it’s advertising is very, very misleading, plus they hit you with a lot of hidden fees.
Not to mention the bedbugs.
Thundercat. He’s great.
https://youtu.be/9lHjeEkS1WE
Super Cat would like a word.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2ad8hFtZfHw
Yep going to start the weekend off angry. This should go well.
Switching to the rugby, fuck this.
BACK ON LEVEL TERMS
Yep, as soon as I switched off in frustration.
White men always rise again!
“Especially when they visit Orchids of Asia!”
-R. Kraft
*With help from a little blue pill
Every 2nd fucking year Barnsley is a fucking banana peel. FUCK.
I bet on the filthy Redshite this am, out of curiosity as to the extent of my “cooler” status. Turns out, even GAMBLOR has its limits.
Juve playin in a bit, and the weather is warming up. Warm weather is better for our lady fans.
whatever is being gentlemanly chuh chuh
+ shoulder appreciation
Dead Pool Boy!
I have to point out: why is that banner image mascot in blackface? Is the mascot named Trudeau? Is it Halloween?
Yellow legs. Yellow hands. Red arms. Black face.
What’s up with that??
It pwns teh libs, obvs?
Just a reminder that Cardinals fans are typically racists and morans [sic]
sew much HEAT in teh jelly smh