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Nighttime Conference Tourney Thread-erino

King Hippo

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, ,

The Lesser Footy was…less than engaging.  As such, I didn’t really learn anything.  Let’s talk about conference tournament finals instead:

Texas Tech (+2) v. Kansas (6:00, ESPN)

I don’t really watch regular season (other than Wolven Sort shitshow performance art), but the talking heads have been on and on regarding how great their two regular season matchups were.  As such, Rock Chalk will win by 15+ – because we can’t have nice things (except the Guns Up!! girls, obvs).

San Diego State (-2) v. Boise State (6:00, CBS)

No, this isn’t a run-heavy football contest.  Instead, you get lots of halfcourt defending.  Do we want the JV BOLTMEN!! here?  Kind of??

Creighton (+6.5) v. Villanova (6:30, Fox)

I have a Creigh-Creigh feeling here, but it’s probably just gas and/or a stroke.  The non-Canadia Blue Jays have never won the Big East, so this could be the last domino to fall for the New Jesuit World Order.

Virginia Tech (+6) v. Kansas (8:30, ESPN)

Fuck a duck, it’s hard to admit…but we’s all Castrated Turkeys tonight.  I imagine there was mass Seppuku in the Bristol HQ when U*NC lost last night.  BAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Fuck you, schadenfreude IS ALL I HAVE LEFT.

UCLA (+1) v. Arizona (9:00, Fox)

This almost qualifies as a Tweaker Fixture ™ – but we’ll need 3+ OTs to get past midnight.  Kudos to West Coast hoopsball for getting semi-relevant again, and to Cronin’s Bruins for not suffering a major hangover after last season’s Cinderella run.  This could be a good game, but I will clearly be asleep before it ends.

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TheRevanchist

Just started my St Patrick’s day celebration with an Irish car bomb. Second time I have had one in my life, and it’s just as good as I remember.

1
yeah right

As an old bastard who’s lived through a recession or two you just got to cut back on the non essentials to pay for your gas.

For the record I gassed up at 5.69 a gallon today.

Truth.

So I’ve supplemented by cooking all of my own food. Been 3 weeks since somebody but myself cooked my meal.

We can make adjustments.

1
Gumbygirl

I paid $5.79 on Thursday, in Redlands. But I too am old, and I remember those golden days of yore when we were only allowed to get gas on odd or even days. It will get better eventually.

2
BugEyedBoo

Hooking my dentist up with his boat payment. A couple three weeks ago I had to have a crown replaced. He has one of those machines that makes the crown right in the office, which is pretty cool but not $500 after insurance cool. Then this evening one of the crowns on the bottom broke; the porcelain/ceramic/whatever broke off of the metal underneath. It doesn’t particularly hurt, but I can’t stop messing with it.

I’m gonna blame it on my old dentist. He was a nice guy but milked extra procedures for all they’re worth. “You need these antibiotic shots under the gumline.” “You need mouth cancer screening.” “You need this new periodontal rinse treatment because it turns out the antibiotics under the gumline don’t work.”

1
ballsofsteelandfury

Your old dentist sounds like my work buddy’s doctor. My friend jokes that he met all of his doctor’s golf buddies through all the referrals…

0
yeah right

That’s horrible. I was lucky and I’ve still got 2 gold crowns from, I’m gonna say 1972 and they’re still well golden.

0
BugEyedBoo

I had a crown replaced with a gold crown; it cost the same to get a gold pimp tooth-looking crown as it did to get a porcelain crown, so hell yeah! The gold would never ever crack like the porcelain did/does, but the tooth decayed underneath it and it just broke off one day. Just a couple of little slivers left at the gumline, and a big ol’ chunk of tooth in the crown. It had had a root canal already, so no pain. But it was pretty nasty looking.

0
Horatio Cornblower

I watched a movie with the wife instead of the basketball, (Motherless Brooklyn: I liked it, the Mrs. did not), but logging back in to see that the script for the Coach K retirement tour is reading like I wrote it is making me quite tumescent.

1
ballsofsteelandfury

https://youtu.be/HZFJVAaSOrE

0
rockingdog

Read a report that since police cops here in USA have so much excessive gear/weapons, they are sending it to support our friends in Ukraine.

That’s Rockinggggg, I guess…

https://gizmodo.com/us-police-ship-body-armor-to-ukraine-amid-russian-war-1848638015/amp

Last edited 4 years ago by rockingdog
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Horatio Cornblower

The only thing rocking about it ia that they’re giving it away.

Seriously, the Willimantic police have, 5 miles from my house, an armored personnel carrier parked in the rear of their station. It recently moved for the first time
In years, because the town built a parking garage over the spot where it had been sitting, slowly sinking into the asphalt. They could not even drive it around for parades because it was too heavy for the roads and would tear up the asphalt.

Fucking wannabe commandos.

4
WCS

Tech beating Dook is like watching the Ratbirds beat the GREATRIOTS.

No one truly wins.

1
Horatio Cornblower

My friend, when Duke loses we *all* win.

2
Brick Meathook

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1
yeah right

I’ve probably watched 12 UCLA games this season and I’ve seen all 7 of their losses.

3
Beerguyrob

They must be relieved that Bill Walton isn’t passing daily judgment like Magic is for the Lakers.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

You’re forbidden from watching any more games.

1
King Hippo

Blax and Barry Goldwater’s ghost can rest easy tonite. And I lost the bet against myself.

1
King Hippo

To contrast, Michigan went ELEVEN MINUTES down the stretch of the game I saw earlier this week, without making a FG

0
King Hippo

I swear to fuck there was once a video of Homer Simpson dancing to this (also uncensored)

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone else pissed about and unprepared for daylight savings time?

3
King Hippo

oh shit, is that tonight

2
yeah right

tis

1
Mr. Ayo

Yes and no. Wait, yes and yes.

2
Horatio Cornblower

I got up at 10:42 this morning, if that answers your question

1
King Hippo

wait, you need Indeed to hire mechanics? Don’t you just ask around one’s biker gang?

1
King Hippo

You’d think my 4 hour nap would suffice to get my old ass through the end of this legitimately entertaining PACtion. But I’d bet against me.

3
litre_cola

You have a half an hour to go. Bet on something.

0
King Hippo

I almost jinx bet on Duke when VPI went up 10, but was too lazy. YAY ME!!!

0
King Hippo

/also Blax must have given them Kittehs a good halftime talk

Last edited 4 years ago by King Hippo
0
yeah right

Fuck this game is good.

0
King Hippo

Granted, I ain’t seen very much hoopsball. But UCLA and AZ look better than anyone else to my tired East Coast-biased eyes.

3
Mr. Ayo

*places bet*

0
ballsofsteelandfury

https://youtu.be/QO5dcW0P75M

3
King Hippo

This song just might be perfect.

4
yeah right

Amen

2
Gumbygirl

I heard this on Sirius yesterday. Love it!

2
BugEyedBoo

One of my favorites.

1
yeah right

I’m gonna grab my earbuds hang on.

1
yeah right

Oh yeah.

1
scotchnaut

Both Duke and Kentucky lost. Today has been a good day.

3
Brick Meathook

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TheRevanchist

Way ahead of you!

1
Gumbygirl

Wooooohooo my Blazers!

1
scotchnaut

I called them the UAB My Morning Jackets before it was cool.

3
litre_cola

Someone down below said something about Seattle ghosts;

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_siJRgDlddY

1
Beerguyrob

Lambeau doesn’t care for the Oilers-Lightning game.

A4384954-7F05-43C8-9BE1-C240ED609C37.jpeg
3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

GOOD BOY

1
scotchnaut

Negotiations with Rodgers have been tough on everyone.

4
litre_cola

Lambeau is a better option in goal than whatever Edmonton rolled out there.

4
yeah right

Just watched a documentary on Harry Nilsson and now I’m bummed we lost him that early. Absolutely loved that man.

2
yeah right

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GBmXLABEo_k

1
yeah right

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CfjNpgZ4C5Q

2
Gumbygirl

This is my favorite of his. Total fucking banger!

1
yeah right

I wore that entire album out.

2
Doktor Zymm

Holy schnikies, sedecordle is hard.
free sedecordle
1️⃣4️⃣⬛1️⃣5️⃣ SPILT – PYGMY
1️⃣6️⃣⬛1️⃣7️⃣ GEESE – ETHIC
0️⃣5️⃣⬛2️⃣1️⃣ CARAT – FLACK
1️⃣8️⃣⬛0️⃣6️⃣ PROXY – GLEAM
0️⃣7️⃣⬛0️⃣8️⃣ ARROW – IRONY
0️⃣9️⃣⬛1️⃣0️⃣ CRESS – COUCH
1️⃣1️⃣⬛1️⃣9️⃣ GUMMY – OUTGO
1️⃣2️⃣⬛2️⃣0️⃣ MATEY – PADDY
sedecordle.com
#sedecordle

0
rockingdog

Last funny;

holding up a nudist colony with a t-shirt gun

9
Mr. Ayo

“I’m a professional golfer”

https://twitter.com/BrianMFloyd/status/1502836257973407745

5
SonOfSpam

The lake was hungry that day, my friends.

5
Doktor Zymm

Been playing Baba is You from the Bundle for Ukraine (https://itch.io/b/1316/bundle-for-ukraine)
Super good!

0
King Hippo

Speaking of Touch of Downs, with Coach Carroll be interested in huim, once Black Panthers acquire ThShaun??

0
SonOfSpam

I thought Carroll might be getting TheShaun. He’s now completely exonerated, unlike those fishy steel beams.

4
litre_cola

So you can helicopter your junk, be super creepy and touchy at Houston area masseuse parloUrs and its not criminal?

0
SonOfSpam

Completely exonerated.

Believe All Women (unless a quarterback is accused)

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Of course not!

-R. Kraft

1
King Hippo

Nah, ThShaun still wants to throw too many times for Grandpa. An extra sticker here and there, Darnold will do whatever he’s told.

0
SonOfSpam

And thanks to Cobain, Seattle’s full of ghosts for Durrnold to see!

3
King Hippo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4dcIPGzxsl8

2
Mr. Ayo

Thee Batman intensifies

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YhR5UfaAzM

2
Mr. Ayo

Silent. Rage. Intensifying.

0
Gumbygirl

I am not smrt enough to charge my phone. It went from 14% to 16% in an hour ir so. Operator error. My Blazers are winning, woot! See ya later, when I figure out this tricksy electricity thing.

2
ballsofsteelandfury

Let’s get the party started!

https://youtu.be/LMGdRgtblmk

4
ballsofsteelandfury

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ballsofsteelandfury

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4
BrettFavresColonoscopy

That movie is still hilarious

2
ballsofsteelandfury

So good

0
Brick Meathook

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Last edited 4 years ago by Brick Meathook
2
Mr. Ayo

BTW, if you have a dad or a son, The Adam Project on Netflix is fantastic.

If you can get over Ryan’s sense of humor.

1
litre_cola

This is a great tune.

1
BrettFavresColonoscopy

Evening. Went to two of my favorite breweries tonight, and with lady BFC out of town, I’m going to pick up a pizza and plow through some high quality beers in the future.

3
Mr. Ayo

Huh, I’ve never seen escorts referred to as beers before.

4
Gumbygirl

You gotta hope they’re not too yeasty, but you want some hops. That’s what I hear, anyway!

6
litre_cola

Bravo. Did not see that coming from you. Well played.

3
Gumbygirl

I contain multitudes.

2
King Hippo

oh, Mr. Ayo – I forgot to thank you for the gently-used Charmslinger. Donks WOO!!!

2
Mr. Ayo

I am quite displeased by this turn of events. Now all my local teams suck again.

3
Mr. Ayo

Also, this your future with Mr. Unlimited.

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1
herodotus450

Local hockey team continuing the “let the opposing goalie get rusty so we can score later” strategy, now outshot 31-5 through 2 periods.

0
scotchnaut

“Outshot through two periods”? I told you the Red Wings shouldn’t have signed that female goalie!

/this is a horrible joke. You’re welcome.

7
Mr. Ayo

I was going to craft a Texas adjacent reply, but I am not nearly clever enough to execute it. Unlike Texas, of course.

5
BrettFavresColonoscopy

You can wire hanger your hat on this joke

4
rockingdog

Hopefully warriors vs bucks is Rockingggg

0
King Hippo

Sorry, Jays. Sometimes you’re the priest, but sometimes you gotta take it like an altar boy.

1
scotchnaut

“Critics agree: ‘The Batman’ is the greatest superhero movie ever made.”

/talk about straddling a low bar…

2
King Hippo

I consider Javier Bardem’s “No Country For Old Men” character a superhero. So I’d nominate that.

0
Brick Meathook

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2
Redshirt

This joke may be offensive, but it still applies.

B7D207B5-D3A1-484A-A134-FE9C998BB67F.gif
1
King Hippo

nods in Sam Darnold

2
Brick Meathook

Spider monkey wants to tear your balls off:

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3
Mr. Ayo

Imagine the handjob before though.

1
scotchnaut

Spider monkey, spider monkey
Does whatever a spider monkey does.
Rips your face off,
Shits down your throat-
Here comes a spider monkey man

3
Brick Meathook

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6
litre_cola

I am still laughing at this.

1
Mr. Ayo

I’m still doing something else at this.

And I’m done.

1
King Hippo

Jeebus done abandoned the lads from CreighCreigh.

0
Redshirt

..

42124AB0-1DFF-4712-A8A3-9397CEE36390.jpeg
3
BallsofLacrosseAndMapleSyrup

Fack you, we’re still in winter

0
herodotus450

Oh Calgary has a Tckanhkuk, of the Tckanhkuk clan…

1
scotchnaut

All 4 of the intermission announcers are wearing toques. No, seriously-it’s a good look!

0
King Hippo

There ain’t many actual Duke grads ’round these parts (ie, I ain’t live in New Jersey). Think maybe I can order a #ShamePizza and have it arrive before Tuesday.

1
King Hippo

It’ll be here by 9, HUZZAH!!!

0
Mr. Ayo

No cheese means you’re getting a #SadPizza.

Those Dukies won’t even spit on it because you’re causing yourself enough suffering.

1
Doktor Zymm

It’s not even a pizza without cheese, it’s some sort of sandwich

2
Mr. Ayo

Wouldn’t that be a #SadCalzone?

2
King Hippo

I have made basically a #SadCalzone before, with ground sausage, mater sauce, and pita bread.

0
Mr. Ayo

What in the actual fuck?

PrayForHippo

2
Brick Meathook

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Last edited 4 years ago by Brick Meathook
4
herodotus450

Local area hockey team outshot 19-1 in the first period.

1
Gumbygirl

You live in Montreal? Or Philadelphia?

0
scotchnaut

He’s a Detroit Red Wings fan. He lives in a fantasy world where they are competitive.

2
herodotus450

Graph of the Red Wings rebuild progress:
​​. ____
. ___/ \____
._____/

Graph of the Sensators rebuild progress:

(there is no graph because there is no progress because there is no rebuild)

Last edited 4 years ago by herodotus450
1
herodotus450

well fuck i dont know how to get spaces to show up properly

0
Mr. Ayo

Let me try.

Nevermind, I suck too.

Last edited 4 years ago by Mr. Ayo
1
Mr. Ayo

I’d trade 19 shots for 1 goal.

0
Redshirt

Too late for Sexy Friday?

79FD0656-467D-4C23-A85E-92E201A4A896.jpeg
7
scotchnaut

Apparently Redshirt wants to be more than 100 yards away from that “stupid damn school with all those sexy boys”.

6
Gumbygirl

You know GOP stands for Groping Our Preschoolers!

4
Mr. Ayo

Voxy Lady!

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2
herodotus450

Malignant, round, white

You talkin to me?

3
King Hippo

Dispensed 1 Feb and you still have some left? That’s Good Monk Discipline Hustle!

2
Mr. Ayo

Weekends only for this amateur.

1
King Hippo

Don’t worry, little buckaroo. You’ll get there!

3
Brick Meathook

I don’t take my prescription painkillers during the week.

That way I can take five of them on Friday night. Yee Haw!

2
Gumbygirl

This is your brain on drugs

images (41).jpeg
1
Gumbygirl

Bullshit. THIS is your brain on drugs

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2
Brick Meathook

This is MY brain on drugs:

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2
Mr. Ayo

Why didn’t he tell him he was going to die on the toilet?

Just for the lolz.

2
King Hippo

the KING ought die on the throne, ya know

3
Mr. Ayo

Ahhh, so he did tell him:

J: You’re going to die on the throne.
E: That’s great!
J: lol
E: Wait, what?

4
Mr. Ayo

SOLD!

I knew I didn’t want to eat brains.

2
blaxabbath

If Juatin Kier can handle UCLA with competence then I’ve got completw confidence in a CATS Final Four run.

0
SonOfSpam

The Duke hate is so (justifiably) strong, Hippo couldn’t type the word in the preview.

That’s good hate!

1
rockingdog

Found a funny;

due to inflation i’m having one (7) cookies

2
rockingdog

LOL

Finally understanding this joke out here in New England rite now…

E2865C54-900B-4B2F-B5ED-C005D28B5CE2.jpeg
3
SonOfSpam

wait wait wait…there’s a “new” England???

2
King Hippo

It’s a real weenie shrinker Down South, even!

0
King Hippo

Amari Cooper leaves the N-GCp for #The Pauls! And there is talk of them also trading Murder Guy, who would be a perfect fit in DonksLand. FUN!!

1
blaxabbath

In light of the most recent lawsuit, is Jones’ nickname now Daddy-J?

4
King Hippo

I am expecting some lovely crowd chants out of the Giants and Iggles next season.

0
Mr. Ayo

If Amari didn’t like Canned Ham, he’s going to love his local Baker.

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