Your “You Can Suit Yourself Baby, But You Don’t Suit Me” Thursday Evening Open Thread

NFL News:

  • Due to infractions over pass coverage contact during drills, the Ravens will lose their final two OTAs this week.
    • Owner Steve Bisciotti & coach John Harbaugh were fined $100,000 & $50,000 respectively.
    • The Ravens and Harbaugh were fined $343,057 and $137,223, respectively, for a similar infraction in 2016.
  • Terrell Owens might be going into Canton, but he’s not going to Canton.
    • He says he will not be attending the enshrinement ceremony on August 4th, and that “I wish to celebrate what will be one of the most memorable days of my life, elsewhere.”
  • Gird your loins, because Julian Edelman is looking at a four-game PED ban.
    • Naturally, he is appealing.
    • According to ESPN, if he were suspended for four games, Edelman would forfeit $470,588.20 in base salary. The Patriots’ first four games are against Houston, at Jacksonville, at Detroit and home against Miami.
    • If you enjoy Patriots schadenfreude, please to head over to WEEI’s page on the story or Patriots twitter.
      • It’s delicious.

Finally, this is delightful: Colin Kaepernick’s legal team wants to depose either or both of Donald Trump & Mike Pence.

  • Specifically, they want to know the level of influence the President may have had over whether Kaep could be resigned during the 2017 season.
    • While testifying as part of the collusion case, several NFL owners said in depositions that Trump factored into conversations about how to handle protests during the national anthem.
  • To borrow directly from PFT:

From the President suggesting in the early days of the protests that Kaepernick should find another country to the President mocking owners for fearing a “nasty tweet” from the President if any of them sign Kaepernick to the President telling Cowboys owner Jerry Jones that the anthem debate is a “very winning issue” for the President to the “get that son of a bitch off the field, he’s fired!” rant at an Alabama rally, the President’s fingerprints are all over this one.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Washington at Vegas – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC
      • Game 5; Caps up 3-1
  • AHL:
    • 2018 Calder Cup Finals:
      • Marlies vs. Stars – 8:00Pm | TSN2 – Game 4
  • MLB:
    • Tigers at Red Sox – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Orioles at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
  • Futbol:
    • Women’s International Friendly Soccer:
      • U.S. vs. China – 9:00PM | FS1
  • Basketball:
    • WNBA: Storm at Los Angeles Sparks – 10:30PM | ESPN2
  • AFL:
    • Port Adelaide vs. Richmond – 5:30AM | TSN2

Tonight’s sports schedule looks appealing on the surface, but all good Canadian kids know what that means.

She ain’t pretty,

SHE JUST LOOKS THAT WAY!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Senor Weaselo

Suddenly reminded me, you know who I think the voiceover lady is for the Knights’ things were? The Administrator from Team Fortress 2.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Lita Ford on Chopped!

SonOfSpam

Wait…I love this sentence.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Senor Weaselo

Not enough booing, 2/10.

Gratliff

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Horatio Cornblower

Kind of a weak effort by the Vegas crowd.

They’ll learn.

Gratliff

Take the team away and give it to Hartford

Mr. Ayo

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sharkbait

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Senor Weaselo

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO… *inhales* OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Horatio Cornblower

Hey, Golden Knights…off the ice; the Stanley Cup doesn’t come out for the participants.

Horatio Cornblower

It’ll be to nice to see Ovechkin hoist the Cup instead of that feckless diving cunt Crosby.

Gratliff

So how much crazy shit is Snyder gonna do next week to try to steal the spotlight back?

...

*Dan Synder looks in the mirror and sighs*

Well, looks like I’ve gotta get more racist

Senor Weaselo

All of it?

...

Hoc-key?

SonOfSpam

Always gets a +1 from me, but then I’m simple and drunk most of the time.

WCS

Golden State and Cleveland have won each of the last four NBA titles. The Houston Dirt 500s won the World Series, the Iggles won a friggin’ Super Bowl, and now the Crapitals have a Stanley Cup. This is truly the Upside Down.

Mr. Ayo

Ooh! Maybe the Mariners can make it to the playoffs!

ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!
-Kevin Garnett

Senor Weaselo

I am okay with the Mariners winning the West iff it means Houston-Boston WC.

Mr. Ayo

Ew

Senor Weaselo

You think I want the Dirt Giants to face Verlander in the WC Game. Fuuuuck no.
/Wait then they’d face them in the ALDS.
//Yeah, but Verlander only once!

Sharkbait

Congrats Seamus, and all other Caps fans.

Next year New York pls.

SonOfSpam

Any New York in particular? I mean, the Sabres are in New York…

Sharkbait

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SonOfSpam

New arena, right? So that’s a thing.

Plus Tavares is great, especially on this song:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XdchuRONsa0

SonOfSpam

LOL I don’t know the difference between the New York hockey teams.

BUT THAT’S STILL A GOOD SONG.

King Hippo

perhaps they will all combine into one unit, and at least be average?

Senor Weaselo

A new arena… that nobody will go to. Elmont’s too close to Queens and Long Island people honestly think that once they cross the city line gang warfare is just rampant. No seriously, a co-worker of Hermana Weaselo thought that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Honestly, what Vegas did this year is amazing. I’ve been held by their story all year. I really like their team. Happy they got a western conf title.
But….

Caps needed to steal that cup from the Yinzers.
Hand it over you assholes.

SonOfSpam

Aside from everything else, nice to see the Caps get the Cup after all this time. Vegas getting it in their first year would’ve created a black hole of insufferable ignorant fans, maybe worse than in Boston.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fair point.

Horatio Cornblower

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not go saying things we can’t take back!

SonOfSpam

Ok, not that bad, BUT STILL.

scotchnaut

A little tune for the Vegas timekeeper…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BsKbwR7WXN4

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

More than mortal men deserve.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

OH, AN HE ‘MEMBERS!!

SonOfSpam

Congrats to any Caps fans, like Seamus I think, and maybe some other people (shrug) and whatnot.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Congrats, Ovie. ‘Bout time you Russian bastard.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

You know the Caps will go to the White House, because half of them are Russian.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Launch codes…where are the launch codes?

– Evgeny Kusnetzov.

SonOfSpam

Ovechkin is Putin’s boy, so…yeah.

SonOfSpam

Sorry if someone else mentioned this already, but Trump is TOTALLY gonna take credit for this.

Senor Weaselo

He’s going to claim there was a campaign rally at the arena.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Bacon?

Horatio Cornblower

Can you score a goal in .6 of a second?

Penn & Teller are about to show you how!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

So I feel bad for not keeping track, but congrats to any Washington fans I know

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I’m it. But thanks?

Brocky

Congrats you crazy 27 year old tail chasing son of a bitch.

SonOfSpam

He’s older than 27, and he’s not a tail.

theeWeeBabySeamus

YOU CAN’T PROVE THAT!!!!

Oh wait, yes you can. Dammit.

Mr. Ayo

Congrats to all the Capitals fans. And Ovi!

scotchnaut

That’s some high school-grade fuckery right there.

WCS

Not having a clock is just the final piece of this.

SonOfSpam

One minute left in the season…LOL maybe? No clocks in Vegas.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Vegas doesn’t not have clocks in the Casinos for nuthing.
Cheating fuckers.

SonOfSpam

Great minds, etc.

scotchnaut

Clock stoppage? wtf?

Mr. Ayo

WAS fans must love this

King Hippo

FALSE FLAG!!

Horatio Cornblower

Like no one’s ever gotten screwed in Vegas before.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I haven’t! I mean maybe I have but never as a one-night stand.

King Hippo

stick breaks, Craps miss wide open net, etc.

Senor Weaselo

Well, the NHL season should end before the NBA season… wait the NBA season ended after the Western Conference Finals, never mind.

Horatio Cornblower

2 minutes to Bettman getting the Christ booed out of him.

One of the finest traditions in all of sport.

Senor Weaselo

…What if they don’t know they’re supposed to boo?

Horatio Cornblower

A fair point. Guess we’ll have to find out!

scotchnaut

Is Ovie getting the Conn Smythe?

Sharkbait

Tom Wilson.

litre_cola

Kuznetzov?

King Hippo

“They can’t give it to a black!” – Don Cherry

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Empty netter ends it in….2:28. Give or take.

Sharkbait

2:00 is when he goes to the bench is my guess.

Mr. Ayo

BRING OUT THE CUP!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“Fuck you! I’ll go as slow as I want in the left lane….. SR-71 goes where it wants how it wants.”

Mr. Ayo

It would be a total Caps move to blow this game and series now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I really am gonna hurt you someday.

litre_cola

Like emotionally?

theeWeeBabySeamus

He’d have to have emotions for that to be possible.
😛

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

“Nailed it!!” – Mr. Ayo

scotchnaut

“Jurassic World: Because Jeff Goldblum needs a pay cheque.”

Mr. Ayo

Life finds a way.

Sharkbait

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Imma go sit over in the corner over there and keep my mouth shut. Just in case.
But Imma leave this here….

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King Hippo

yeeeeaaaaahhhh, I put $50 on Knights Who Say Icky Icky Icky Patowwwww (+3400) because my life dictates such is necessary.

But yeah, I think Ovie finally gets his.

Senor Weaselo

Welp, this could top the O’s sweeping the Mets as tWBS’s sports highlight of the year.

theeWeeBabySeamus

What? No NCSU baseball making it to Omahahahahahahahaha. I can’t even finish that sentence.

Never mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Sharkbait

That’s a bad goal…

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not from where I’m sitting.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

A bad goal is something like “I’m going to kill fifty children” that’s a bad goal.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed. Start with five then work your way up.

King Hippo

pacing oneself is well important

Senor Weaselo

Is it bad that I immediately thought of a song I played on?
https://thetinyelephants.bandcamp.com/track/the-day

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Heheheheh.

Even suddener change.

King Hippo

CRAPS WOO!!!!!!

WCS

Huh.

King Hippo

That brown spot Fleury is looking for is either the puck, or the merde leaking out his ice pants. AGAIN. Cirrrrrrrrcle of liiiiiiiiife.

scotchnaut

Fleury doing that Fleury thing.

King Hippo

fuck you fuckers missing the wide open net. SOME OF US HAVE MONEY ON THIS AND WOULD OTHERWISE NOT CARE

theeWeeBabySeamus

THAT TOO!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

a stranger’s just a friend u haven;t met quite yet ,, ppl forget that

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fuck, how did he not net that one??????????????

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some people are just terrible at fishing.

King Hippo

Jesus Tittyfuck Christ, ya know??

Sharkbait

Bad pass. If thats on his tape, thats in.

WCS

So, 3OTs it is.

theeWeeBabySeamus

shutupshutupshutpshutupshutupshutupshutupshutpshutupshutup

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Well this just fucking seals it that it is end times.

http://fortune.com/2018/06/06/kfc-fried-chicken-vegetarian/

scotchnaut

Is there nothing tofu can’t do?

King Hippo

taste like a not-shoe?

/and this from a guy who LIKES KALE

Senor Weaselo

If White Castle is making Impossible Burger sliders, anything is possible.
/Joke about the beef quality at White Castle

King Hippo

/also $100 @ +220 just to win the period in case they lose in OT, because you know…Craps

//have more than enough on the 2-way winner, winner, chicken dinner already thx

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO

Senor Weaselo

Bad hockey fantasy team name: The Giraffe and the Smith-Pelly and Me

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahahaha

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sudden Change.

King Hippo

oh, did Hippo re-up on the Craps 3-way to win ($58.50 @ +1500)? chuh and CHUH!!!

scotchnaut

That was…unexpected.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like how Bud’s “Freedom” beer is made by a Belgian-Brazilian company.

Senor Weaselo

Shhh, you’ll ruin the marketing!

King Hippo

you got a problem with brutal slave colonists and Nazi hiders, pussy??

scotchnaut

Has anyone called Las Vegas the Boba Fetts? Because they should.

theeWeeBabySeamus

That was a nice save by Flowery. Jerk.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK Caps. You either capitalize here, or you go back home to try to win this later.
Don’t fuck the PP up here, plz. K thx.