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Your “Bills Coming Due” Monday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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NFL News:

  • Actual good thing: The Vikings have announced Dennis Green will be inducted into their Ring of Honor.
    • The selected date is September 23rd, against the Bills.
      • Nice to see they chose a game they might actually win.
  • Another good thing: the Eagles gave a Super Bowl ring to a thirty-year employee fired by Chip Kelly.
    • Carol Cullen started working at an EA to the eagles coaches starting in 1985, until she got got by Chip in 2015.
      • Former tight end John Spagnola helped her land a gig at Public Financial Management as an associate after she was fired.
    • One of her jobs was to type up the coaching plays.
      • She was a champion of the flea flicker, and Doug Pederson included it against the Vikings in tribute to her.
        • She & he formed a connection when he was Andy Reid’s assistant coach.
        • Howie Roseman texted her after the play resulted in a TD & said “That one was for you.”

  • To aid in improving the quality of the product, the NFL is investing in a field-turf surface that can be installed over the grass at the new Tottenham field being constructed in London.
    • It will allow the league to have a cleat-ready field for its players, who have previously complained that London’s soccer pitches have the wrong type of surface for their cleats & hard cuts.
    • It’s first use will be during the Seahawks-Raiders game on October 14th.
  • Kellen Winslow Jr. was indicted & jailed without bail last Friday after pleading not guilty to multiple counts of kidnapping, rape and other charges.
    • According to ESPN, prosecutors say Winslow began a crime spree last March that included rapes, kidnappings, indecent exposure and burglary and continued until just before his arrest this week.

Tonight’s sports & entertainment:

  • Beisbol:
    • MLB:
      • Yankees at Nationals – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
      • Diamondbacks at Angels – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN
    • College World Series:
      • Game 6 in Omaha – 7:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Monday Night RAW – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • the fallout from Money In The Bank
Spoiler: it happened.
  • American Ninja Warrior – Indianapolis qualifiers – 9:00PM | NBC
  • 2018 MTV Movie & TV Awards – 9:00PM | MTV / MUCH
  • Best Baker in America – 9:00PM | Food Network
    • The cake-porn finale.

  

SIX WEEKS TO TRAINING CAMPS!

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gum?

Mints?

Nah, I’ll just take a cat.

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Mr. Ayo

Mine’s going in for his dirt nap tomorrow.
/Debbie Downer

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SonOfSpam

Sorry, that’s the worst. All the best to you and yours.

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Mr. Ayo

After 20 years, he’s had a great run. Should have done it a week ago to avoid what I’ve watched these past 2 days.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

20 years; that’s a damn good run. The end still sucks.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let’s raise a glass for Puddy.

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Mr. Ayo

Way ahead of you.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry. That sucks.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry man, sincerely.
But kudos to you for loving him enough to make a shitty decision.

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Mr. Ayo

Like I said, should have done it last week. Came home from work with him sleeping in his own urine puddle in the hallway.

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SonOfSpam

Shit, then I shoulda been put down about ten times already.

Sorry…couldn’t help it. There are few more heartbreaking things than what you’re doing tomorrow, and take some damn time for yourself when it’s over.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, what SoS said, verbatim

And don’t beat yourself up. Every situation is different. I can’t tell you how many clients I’ve told “You’ll know when it’s time, he/she will let you know one way or another”.

It’s gonna be difficult enough without second guessing yourself for not doing it sooner.

I’ll be thinking about ya. And probably in a mostly “not gay” way.

(hang in there, dude)

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Mr. Ayo

Hmm, he has been sleeping in the shower. Maybe he’s just on an all-time bender.

Vet had an opening this evening but I pushed it back a day so my brother who originally got him when he was a kitten had a chance to say goodbye. I adopted him about 8 years ago when kitty started attacking his wife.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

That’s a really tough choice, but it sounds like you’re making it for the best reason. Enjoy your last night together. All the best, fuz ball.

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Mr. Ayo

Thanks. I’m going to leave him where he’s already sleeping tonight.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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That’s right.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s quite the picnic basket.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok I’ve calmed down a little from earlier, which worries me because there’s so much to be angry about when one party is running this country into the ground and so many people I love think it’s politics and everyone sucks.

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SonOfSpam

Just keep in mind, in about 80 years (or much much less) you’ll be dead and none of this will matter. Your corpse, however, may be defiled by some people I know. It’s a thing, deal with it.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just relax and watch some scifi or something, like Dune.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, fuck, that didn’t work.

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SonOfSpam

So, I’m watching the Angels (lose, because every pitcher is crippled), and when Trout came up, I thought about this stat that I read on ESPN today:

Since Trout was called up for good in April 2012, the longest streak in which he hasn’t reached base is…two.

This robotic motherfucker has never gone more than two games without reaching base.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Eh, Trout can’t lay off a hook.

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SonOfSpam

Ok, that’s pretty good. Plus, if you try to eat him, you’ll inevitably get a bone in your throat and I’m gonna change the subject now.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Subject change….Arizona’s uniforms annoy the shit out of me.

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SonOfSpam

That’s fair. However, I’VE BEEN IN THE POOL SUITE IN RIGHT CENTER FIELD WITH THE GUY WHO PLAYED EDDIE MUNSTER.

That’s a true story.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Aw man. I’ve been in their park numerous times but never the pool. And definitely no Eddie Munster.

You catch all the breaks.

But seriously, D-Backs should be shot for those caps.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It turned into a Jacuzzi after lunch.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To be fair; he does have a girlfriend.

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SonOfSpam

Hey I’m married, and I often go two days without…

Eh, bad example.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Is second base dusty?

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SonOfSpam

How are boobs dusty? Unless I’ve been misled about each base…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Figuratively……… figure.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Sharing a comment from That Other Site.

By: The Voice of Raisin 06.18.2018 @ 10:57 PM

Raw ends with a cut to Bayley and Sasha lying next to each other in a hotel bed, hair tussled and smiling sheepishly at each other, with the sheets pulled up and their bare shoulders exposed.
Bayley: So…friends?
Sasha: Friends.
*Fade out*

2
Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

My old boss who hired me at my current job is visiting my office this week after not being here for about a year. The irony is he is the first boss I ever had who I didn’t constantly wish cancer on, and he has now won TWO bouts with it. It was great seeing him again and I’m very happy he is well.

However, this did require me to put on fancy pants today. Fancy pants that I have not worn in quite some time. And boy, were they snug in about every area but the waist today. Finally getting to remove them just now was one of the most relieving things I’ve done in a while.

Low Commander, artist’s conception today:

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theeWeeBabySeamus

And boy, were they snug in about every area but the waist today.

That’s what you get for walking around with an erection all day. But good job on not being fat.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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Senor Weaselo

Wrong link? (BFC posted that one earlier.)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Hilarious how these and others are paving the way to the country’s ruination.

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ballsofsteelandfury

I reiterate that Bob’s Burgers is the best show on TV.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Damn right it is. I watched the Sofa Queen episode today (again) and laughed like an idiot when Louise sold Bob out.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Wow. Whoever made that video isn’t good at the actual video part.

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Fronkenshteen

At some point, someone is going to realize everything H. Jon Benjamin is in is tremendous.

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Sharkbait

I’m in between binging that and Brooklyn 99

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ballsofsteelandfury

This.

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Senor Weaselo

(An angry Yeti bounds in, restricting bolt still on.)
“I beg your pardon, sir?”

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Brick Meathook

Best TV ever:
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Brick Meathook

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Redshirt

Its like Napoleon Dynamite. I don’t want to watch it, because if I do I’ll probably like it, but I don’t want to.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Everyone don’t say anything about ORN-PAY!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

How do you rate it compared to The Big Bang Theory?

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Fronkenshteen

/reads thread

JJ FOZZ!! (??)

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rockingdog

cool summer storm with lightning here in New England….

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Fronkenshteen

Happy hippo!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Easy come, easy go.

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Fronkenshteen

Hippos #BFIB mounting a mighty 9th inning comeback.

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blaxabbath

Since everyone is chiming in on the Christ*Types , I was watching a Netflix doc series yesterday about these girls in an IN detention facility. Lots to comment on but I love the old white lady who volunteers to come teach the Bible and what is she railing on; homosexuality. These kids are LITERALLY experiencing the consequences of bad behavior (plus being poor and/or black), locked up without males around, and we’re not focusing on why moral behavior is typically legal behavior, which will keep you out of jail?

Also, because it is in IN, every single person on that show has a disgusting frumpy body. Every single one.

*Christ, of course, being DJT

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WCS

Mike “Mother” Pence works fast.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Show of hands…. Who here has ever woken up from a dream, not a nightmare per se yet still quite unpleasant, and when you wake up you’re still in a really shitty mood for a while?

No one? Just me then?

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ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve had that. It’s weird.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

It’ll be a long damned time before I try taking a power nap again.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Just watch porn beforehand…

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Really wish I had. Even as irrational as I know it is, I’m still really annoyed right now.

DAMN YOU SUBCONSCIOUS MIND!!!!!!!!
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theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, I just found a Modelo Chelada in the fridge I forgot about. OK, I’m a little less annoyed now.

But only a little.

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Senor Weaselo

Spoilers: tWBS is Tyler Durden

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I am Jack’s betrayal by a subconscious mind.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Much more of woken up from a good dream to immediately think about work or some shit, then be pissed I am not still in the dream.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’ll be honest, I was a little surprised to see that the hand of the Eagles employee who was let go by Chip Kelly featured white skin.

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blaxabbath

Seen her wedding photo? #KAG

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Spanky Datass

Big Bart Colon is throwing ballerina balls in the Dirt Chiefs park tonight. Hope he drank his pre-game Ensure (‘Cause he’s old you see).

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Senor Weaselo

Now he’s a knuckleballer? That takes some guts reinventing yourself, but the man does have a lot of guts.

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Spanky Datass

Naw, he’s not throwing a true knuckler, he’s just spinning the shit out of his two-seamer because he can only hit about 86MPH max on the gun. He’s actually kind of graceful … if you squint a little.

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JustStopDude

Boy…remember when Kellen Winslow was just a shit head waste of a Browns pick that prefer to destroy his leg dicking around a parking lot on a motorcycle instead of you know…raping?

I guess its still not as bad as the Packers drafting a serial killer…

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herodotus450

Randy Woodfield still not suspended by the NFL.

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herodotus450

Also: when you have 17 rounds, it’s going to be hard NOT to draft a serial killer somewhere.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The Patriot Way is to pick up a serial killer by at least the fourth round.

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ballsofsteelandfury

Someone should have thought twice about the “cuts on a dime” comment…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT’S JUST GOOD SCOUTING!

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herodotus450

After about 30 seconds or research, I’ve decided that “Closer” is the winner for “most different songs with the same name by different bands, not covers.”

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Senor Weaselo

tWBS, your reaction to the Trotz resignation?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Gratliff

Turned on Raw just in time to see Ronda Rousey beating up Kurt Angle. I have no idea why, but the crowd seems to love it.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Does Kurt Angle have a move called “The Grinder”? He should.

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herodotus450

Fun conversation starter for the next time you meet a trumptard, republicanT, or conservafool:
“If all those refugee kids had just been aborted, we wouldn’t be in this mess.”

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

In 2014 the prospect of preventing poor people from getting health insurance was what drove them to the polls; in 2018 it will be the prospect of keeping brown children in cages.

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herodotus450

Good people on both sides of the cages

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

This is only one of a ton of examples of how “values voters” are hypocritical pieces of shit that deserve boils or whatever punishment they think the Lord should mete out to infidels:

https://twitter.com/LOLGOP/status/1008840782831382528?s=19

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Senor Weaselo

Being kicked in the genitals for eternity?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

If humanity’s reality was indeed a simulation, think of how much fun it would be to call up various pious users for “judgment” and make them explain how they thought keeping children in cages was consistent with Jesus’ teachings.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

It boggles my mind that 20-40% of the country can read some of the things those people say and passionately agree rather than be disgusted.

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Senor Weaselo

So… Pleasantville, the black and white portion?

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jjfozz

Yesterday I went to mass because the wife said, ‘We’re going to mass.” And the priest – dude i graduated with in high school – went OFF on the “kids detained at border” issue. And I was so proud of him. Also, I think someone should hit Trump with a fucking dumptruck. Fucking cunt.

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herodotus450

Yesterday I went to mass-

Was 51% sure the next word was gonna be “shooting.”

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jjfozz

And oh here’s a good one. We moved into a new office and one of hte dipshit snowflake millenials wanted to “ungender” the bathrooms. Before I went home to down a prime rib, bowl of beans, a a box of shredded wheat so I could take the ultimate shit while one of them was in the sam bathroom with me, the HR lady shut it the fuck down.

Millenials need to be buried in landfills and let out in about 10 years

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ballsofsteelandfury

Oooh, guessing game! Boy, girl, or other? I’m going with Other.

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jjfozz

She’s a girl who is a complete crotch. In a meeting I was in she refereed to “old white men” about 10 times. I am an old white man. I didn’t say a word because she’s, in teh end, a clueless fucking assbrain with no talent.

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ballsofsteelandfury

This might help:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sz0o9clVQu8&feature=youtu.be

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jjfozz

Last night my mother in law was nice enough to inform me that my child shouldn’t be watching Power Rangers. And I said, “It’s okay.” And she said, “No, it’s not.”

And I said, “You don’t like it, pack your fucking bags and leave this house, motherfucker. I’ve had it with your judgmental shit.”

I didn’t say that. I wanted to. The rip in my brain did grow about two more inches.

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Senor Weaselo

Did she give a reason? And was it a hilariously awful one?

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jjfozz

“Too violent!” “It looks scary!” And my son loves it so, um, get lost?

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“It’s not that violent compared to the original script” you should tell her and then send her a link to Agony in Pink.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I downvoted you because you should have said it.

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Beerguyrob

Right, and anthropomorphic vegetables talking about Jesus probably make perfect sense in her mind.

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Senor Weaselo

I don’t know if I’d have my hypothetical kids watching “Pickle Rick”… wait, the vegetables talking about Jesus? Whoops!

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