AFL Beat – 2018 Round 16

This week,

Sexy Friday went away
Seriously, it went away
I’m really sad hungry.

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Round 16 Highlights

The Round started off with my Geelong Cats traveling to Sydney to take on the Swans. I woke up early for this one as there were no World Cup games on and I had to go to work.

Luckily,  the Swans have not played very well at home this year.  The Cats took advantage and controlled the play throughout but could not put the Swans away due to incredibly inaccurate kicking.

In the end,  the Cats managed to win by two goals, 71-59,  thanks to some late goal scoring.  Here are the highlights:

On Friday morning,  there WAS a World Cup game on,  so I just checked the score.  As expected, the Richmond Tigers made short work of the Adelaide Crows at the MCG. Highlights:

The proper Friday Night game was a biggie: The Battle to Avoid the Wooden Spoon.  Brisbane were hosting the Carlton Blues and a win would put them two games clear.

Win big they did,  as the Lions are now in 16th place and finally getting a bit of reward for effort.  Highlights:

Later that night,  Port Adelaide were hosting the St. Kilda Saints and any hope of a Saints revival after last week’s win was quickly snuffed out by the Power. It was a comprehensive 36 point win and here are the highlights:

The Western Bulldogs were hoping to revive their season after scraping out a win against Geelong last week. They hosted the Hawthorn Hawks and all looked well for the first half.

In the second,  however,  the Hawks took over the game and made it a rout.  Final margin was 63, which is saying a lot considering the margin was 2 at Half Time. Highlights:

The Melbourne Demons were looking to make amends after last week’s embarrassing loss to the Saints.  Luckily,  they got a Fremantle team playing away from home with several key players injured.  As a result,  the Demons got back on the winning track in relatively easy fashion.  Highlights:

I actually managed to watch a little bit of the North Melbourne – Gold Coast game.  It took them awhile,  but eventually the Roos took a commanding lead and never looked back. Highlights:

The later game between the Collingwood Magpies and the Essendon Bombers seemed much more interesting and indeed turned out to be the Match of the Round. It was a back and forth game with both teams leading at various points.

When it counted,  though,  the Pies found an extra gear and managed to pull away with the win that both solidified their finals credentials and put a big nasty dent in the Bombers’ hopes. Highlights:

In the last game of the Round,  the West Coast Eagles hosted the struggling and injured GWS Giants. Not to say that the Eagles were in perfect health as, even though they got Nic Natanui back,  they were still missing Josh Kennedy and Jack Darling.

It turned out to be a battle of attrition and the Eagles held on for the 11 point win.  Highlights:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

1 Richmond Tigers 12 3 0 48 137.8
2 Collingwood Magpies 11 4 0 44 122.2
3 West Coast Eagles 11 4 0 44 120.6
4 Port Adelaide Power 11 4 0 44 117.6
5 Sydney Swans 10 5 0 40 118.3
6 Melbourne Demons 9 6 0 36 127.8
7 Geelong Cats 9 6 0 36 123.1
8 Hawthorn Hawks 9 6 0 36 118.1
9 North Melbourne Kangaroos 9 6 0 36 116.0
10 GWS Giants 8 6 1 34 111.7
11 Adelaide Crows 7 8 0 28 97.4
12 Essendon Bombers 7 8 0 28 94.2
13 Fremantle Dockers 6 9 0 24 82.4
14 Western Bulldogs 5 10 0 20 74.3
15 St. Kilda Saints 3 11 1 14 72.6
16 Brisbane Lions 3 12 0 12 88.9
17 Gold Coast Suns 3 12 0 12 62.7
18 Carlton Blues 1 14 0 4 62.2

The Balls (TM) graph:

Download (PDF, 275KB)


Footy Tipping Contest

Here is where we are after Round 16:

P TIPPER Round Tips Round Margin TOTAL Tips TOTAL Margin
1 SonOfSpam 8 23 101 401
2 Sunrisesunrise 8 19 99 444
3 Spanky Datass 7 24 94 519
4 BALLS 9 3 93 448
5 Litre_cola 7 24 92 393
6 WhyEaglesWhy 7 12 89 451
7 BFC 6 31 84 438
8 Dolph Ucker 7 12 84 587
9 Joliet Jake Delhomme 3 12 83 462
10 JPF 3 12 76 470
11 Game Time Decision 8 24 73 549
12 nomonkeyfun 3 12 71 434
13 blaxabbath 3 12 61 480
14 Sharkbait 3 12 59 523

I don’t want to toot my own horn (God knows I’ve tried to no avail), but look who got a perfect week! Alas, SonOfSpam got 8 out of 9 and I only managed to cut into his lead by one.  Well,  there is still a lot of season left…

I also want to give a shoutout to Game Time Decision who continues to put up incredible results and is shooting up the standings despite starting after everyone else.  Well done, good sir!

Now, as you may have noticed, there were a number of folks that forgot to put the footy tips in.  I guess I have been too lenient…



AFL Round 17

Here is the schedule for this week (all times Pacific):

Thursday, July 12, 2018

2:50 AM (Late Wednesday Night) – Adelaide Crows v Geelong Cats at Adelaide Oval

Back to back Thursday Night road games for the Cats.  If they can pull this one out,  they are in great shape for finals.  On the other side,  if the Crows lose this,  their season is done.

Friday, July 13, 2018

2:50 AM (Late Thursday Night) – St. Kilda Saints v Carlton Blues at Marvel Stadium

The Blues have been ripped apart this week in the Australian media for their horrible showing against the Lions,  virtually assuring them the Wooden Spoon.  The Saints cannot afford to let up.

8:45 PM – Hawthorn Hawks v Brisbane Lions at University of Tasmania Stadium

The good times are about to end for the Lions. Two wins in a row were nice,  but this is the Hawks they’re facing.

11:35 PM  – Melbourne Demons v Western Bulldogs at the MCG

The Doggies played well against the Cats giving hope to their fans but have now reverted to crappy form. The Demons have been reeling and need a win.

Saturday,  July 14, 2018

2:25 AM (Late Friday Night) – Gold Coast Suns v Essendon Bombers at Metricon Stadium

Both of these teams are essentially out of it, but they don’t know that,  so it promises to be a fiercely-fought game. Not that I’ll stay up to watch it,  though.

2:25 AM (Late Friday Night) – GWS Giants v Richmond Tigers at Spotless Stadium

If the Giants want to maintain ANY hope of playing finals,  they MUST beat the Tigers at home. Otherwise,  they might as well start making vacation plans.

8:10 PM – Collingwood Magpies v West Coast Eagles at the MCG

This is, by far, the Match of the Round.  I highly suggest everyone watch this game.

10:20 PM – North Melbourne Kangaroos v Sydney Swans at Marvel Stadium

This will also be a good game as the Kangaroos desperately need a win but get the Swans coming off a loss. The Swans rarely lose two in a row.

11:40 PM – Fremantle Dockers v Port Adelaide Power at Optus Stadium

The Dockers have faded greatly after providing hope to their supporters early in the season. If Port are who they think they are,  they will win this easily.


That’s all for this week.  We are really getting into the nitty gritty part of the season and it’s the best time to watch.  Seriously, if you watch one AFL match this year, make it the Collingwood-West Coast game on North American Saturday night.  It will be awesome!

See you next week!




International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.

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King Hippo

I think I give up on this sport.


Embrace the suck! I know I am this season.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

-Bill Clinton


In anyone’s experience, does that thing Chris Rock said also apply to women (or men) with a pierced septum?


Your tears nourish me you little no soul ginger Swans’ fan.
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Senor Weaselo

I saw the Swans logo on that hat and thought of Ingsoc. Is that good or is that ungood?


Ah, nuts. So I guess Essendon has to win out to have any shot now?

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

7/9? I’ll take it. I mean, it’s not perfect, like some people. But…

I’m in Wrangell, AK, at the moment, about to head out to where the internet can’t reach me for the next 3 weeks. Which means when Trump and Putin announce the merging of their countries and the ruble becomes the basis for international trade, and when NATO dissolves for lack of interest and all domestic elections are suspended and christianity is declared to be state religion and unbelievers are rounded up, separated from their children and placed in re-education camps, I will not hear anything about it.

It also means I will be missing picks for a few weeks.

Game Time Decision

what no pics of 7 of 9? wtf


I hadn’t thought about the prospect of Trump selling Alaska back to Russia for twice what they paid for it, but I wouldn’t put it past him.