Pads are thumping and beers are cracking Tuesday evening open thread

yeah right

yeah right

yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn’t plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
yeah right

Evening folks!

Hope everyone is having a lovely Tuesday. How’s the weather out there?

Today’s forecast high for the greater Phoenix Metro area was?

116 degrees.

One Hundred Sixteen Fucking degrees!

Downtown LA was in the 90’s and there is an extended excessive heat warning for the next 48 hours.

Here on the Coast it’s been mid 80’s with that shitty humidity still hanging around.

But honestly who gives a shit? Training camps are opening everywhere and our favorite NFL players are heading out to camp and facing the possibility of heat stroke!

Ain’t it goddamn great!

As of today 7-24-18 the following teams have players in camp.

AFC

Ravens rookies and vets, Bengals – rookies, Broncos – rookies, Colts – rookies, Jags – rookies, Chiefs – rookies, Dolphins – rookies, P*ts – rookies, Jets – rookies, Raiders – rookies, Steelers – rookies, Titans – rookies,

NFC

Cardinals – rookies, Bears rookies and vets, Lions – rookies, Rams – rookies, Vikings – rookies, Saints – rookies, Giants – rookies, Bucs – rookies.

Don’t forget that Tuesday August 7th episode one of Hard Knocks, featuring the Cleveland Browns debuts on HBO 7:00 PM Pacific time.

God Damn we’re getting close folks.

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What to watch tonight!

Baseball!

No national games listed but here’s the full schedule just in case.

Tour de France Stage 16. Hot cycling/blood doping action!

WWE Smackdown – USA channel 8:00 PM Pacific for all you fans of the wrasslin’ and I know we have some out there.

As for me? I’m recording the D-Bags at Cubbies game and backing that up with episodes of “Chopped.” Hey, I use it for food ideas! Don’t judge!

Let us know what you’ve got planned, how you’re surviving the summer, what types and how much alcohol you’re consuming etc.

I’m going to relax and dream of NFL action.

You can smell the violence in the air.

 

Get some people!

yeah right
yeah right
yeah right is a lifelong Vikings fan. Loves to cook but doesn't plate. Loves to drink but hates hangovers. Loves to read. Has no regrets.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighLemonJelloRikki-Tikki-Deadlyyeah rightBrettFavresColonoscopy Recent comment authors
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Greetings from the auto mechanic’s shop!

LemonJello
LemonJello

If these guys are your mechanics, trust everything they say.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Any Minnesotans amongst us? How fucked will downtown be for a god-damned Friday night preseason Vikings game?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

“Hottest temperature ever recorded in Africa: 124.3 Fahrenheit, three weeks ago in the Algerian city of Ouargla. The 3 major U.S. TV networks have run 127 segments on the global heat wave, but have mentioned “climate change” only once.”

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’d change her climate

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

But enough about your ability to change women into ice queens…

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

They were born that way

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Yeah – today was really hot. In fact, it’s still hot as hell out. Meanwhile, my wife’s friend is moving from SD to LA to take some new job/skip out on SD. My wife was like, “Huh, I thought he was going to move back to Phoenix.”

Why would anyone want to live here?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

To sell prescription drugs to Cindy McCain?

Wakezilla

Oh shit! It’s official. Alphonso Davies is going to Bayern Munich! The fee is around 13 million euros with substantial add ons that could make the entire package worth a record $20 million. Davies will remain with the Whitecaps for the rest of the season.

Looks like someone is going to use dhgate soon. (Thanks Litre!)

This is gotta be top 10 all time great lesser footy moments in Canadian history (sad, I know).

litre_cola

Yes, absolutely fantastic news. Great to see.

blaxabbath

The library won’t have Wonder Weeks for me until tomorrow. When does the first leap happen?

Redshirt

(watching “Shazam” trailer) “That’s pretty good. Maybe DC realizes you don’t have to be too dark.”

(watching “Titans” trailers) “…or maybe DC banked the unused darkness and used it in this series.”

Wakezilla

Aquaman also looks good. 2 out of 3 aint bad.

Redshirt

I’m holding out hope that “Young Justice” doesn’t have Spoiler has a recovering crack addict and Nightwing goes out with prostitutes every night just to beat up their pimps.

Wakezilla

Jesus, I hope not.

However, from what I saw in the preview, we might be screwed

Senor Weaselo

What we have is Schrödinger’s Titans, as they are both dark and goofy and you don’t know which until you turn on the TV.

Wakezilla

After a day of hell on earth with Toddlerzilla, where she made me yearn for Daesh to just kidnap me and behead me to end it all, the universe finally rewarded me.

I went to a franchise barbershop at the nearby mall and had my hair cut by a woman who resembled Gal Gadot, if Gadot were Latina. She even had a sexy accent, as she was from Belize. As an added bonus, this hairstlyist didn’t have any of that IDF baggage, either.

5 out of 5 stars, can’t wait to repeat again.

Going back to my original point, Gitmo is missing out on a torture method that would drive anyone insane: play a tape of a toddler crying at the top of their lungs, on an endless loop.

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herodotus450
herodotus450

No way I’m gonna read this whole “article” but it’s fun to imagine exactly what their gripe is.
https://houseofgeekery.com/2013/12/07/wtf-hollywood-why-casting-gal-gadot-as-wonder-woman-is-a-horrible-idea/

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

“Blair Walsh arrives home”

LemonJello
LemonJello

Both Lyft and Uber have denied his request to be a driver.

Wakezilla

Classic Steve Keim

Redshirt

Park Assist – Test 7

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Trent Green’d

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Grent Tree’d

Redshirt

Can I vote if I’m drunk? Asking for a Conservative friend who trying to vote blue.

Wakezilla

Well that depends. Are you gritty or athletic?

litre_cola

What time did you get to the gym? What time did you leave?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Crossfit is one crazy cult.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Wakezilla

In that case, remind me to tell Mrs. Wakezilla we’re doing crossfit with whips

LemonJello
LemonJello

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Sharkbait
Sharkbait

Boston was 89 with a fuck ton of humidity. Naturally I made shrimp tacos and margaritas for dinner.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
LemonJello
LemonJello

“What ah you, some fackin quee-ah? It’s nevah too hawt foah chowdah!”
-Tommy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I hear they Medevac choppered her out of there.

Redshirt

Eugenio Suarez is good at based ball.

Redshirt

No Hitter is broken up. God help them if St. Louis ever find proof that a Reds Clubhouse Employee pulled that alarm.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This came up briefly in last night’s thread, in case any of you haven’t heard of it. It’s really good. Jim Jarmusch’s documentary on The Stooges, “Gimme Danger”

LemonJello
LemonJello

Do they discuss Shemp vs Curly or is that subject too touchy even today?

herodotus450
herodotus450

smh no love for Joe…

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Curly Joe should have been taken out behind Columbia Pictures and shot.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

According to the documentary, when they decided to call themselves “The Stooges” one of them called Moe Howard and asked for permission. “I don’t give a fuck what you call yourselves, as long as it’s not ‘The Three Stooges'” was Moe’s reported reply.

Fronkenshteen

Finished it today. Tremendous.

Redshirt

No Hit thou 7 IP. Fire Alarm is going off.

Nicely done, Reds.

Redshirt

Update: Alarm is off but Light is on.

STL-CIN is in a Fire Alarm Light Delay

Redshirt

They found the light switch. Play Ball!

LemonJello
LemonJello

Day 550 and no one on the Trump Cabinet has questioned my credentials.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

That monkey really is reading that financial paper.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

“Ook, ook-ook!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It is great that “Ook” translates from ape to to chimp to monkey fairly easily.

litre_cola

You need an umlaut for those of German origin.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Ook, ook…..oooook, my good man.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Have you been asked to appear on Fox News?

*same thing

LemonJello
LemonJello

Well, when I am, I can’t wear that dress now.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

[sees wife getting changed after work] you should leave them high heels on
“ohhh yeah?”
[thinking about the spider on the bathroom ceiling] yeah

LemonJello
LemonJello

It really is the sprots doldrums.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Hypnotizing.

litre_cola

It is totally why i was doing some reading on ff this year tonight. that and lesser footy transfer news.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Ok Dirt Cowboys lets not repeat last night’s two-touchdown ass whippin’ you took last night.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Well, that was a slight improvement?

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Doremus Jessop? If that’s not a quintessential librul snowflaek name, then my name isn’t Worthington J. LemonJello III, Esq.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NOPE! Never happen.

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LemonJello
LemonJello

Watching Forged in Fire on History(?) Channel – I’m a sucker for people making edged weapons from raw materials and then beating the ever-loving shit out of them in various tests of sharpness, strength and durability.

No drinky-drink for me, except for some Dihydrogen Monoxide – I’m fighting the start of a migraine.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Fun fact: “forging a nail” is how Kellen Clemens’ friends later referred to his explanation of how he’d lost his virginity to a local girl while his family was on vacation in Canada.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Last night when my wife arrived home I announced in my best Ted Allen imitation: “tonights basket includes: green zucchini, breadcrumbs, leftover pizza and…beer.”

We had zucchini fries and pizza and beer. The judges enjoyed it very much, though they very rightfully complained that the pizza hadn’t been reheated enough.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Did you move on to the dessert round?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yes, the basket only included a single raspberry ice cream bar.