Hey.
Hey.
Stinger.
…
Hey.
HEY!
…what?
Stinger?
…am I…?
Yeah, cool, I thought that was you.
…where?
You’re in orbit, man. You remember how you got there?
I remember being on fire. I’m not on fire now. Why am I not on fire?
Ain’t no oxygen in space, buddy!
How…
You got flipped out of the gravity well by Bronco. You remember now?
I…yes. I’m a robot.
That’s right, buddy. A battlebot.
WE HAVE OBTAINED THE REQUISITE TELEMETRY.
Yeah, I know. I’m talking to him right now.
…who?
That’s DJ3000. He’s got access to some equipment we needed to track you down. You weren’t easy to find, friend!
But who are you?
Oh! Apologies, I guess I wasn’t programmed to be much for manners. I’m Petunia.
I don’t remember you.
No, you wouldn’t, because we’ve never met. I’m new to the competition this year.
The competition?
Battlebots, remember? Man, Bronco really rocked your world.
THIS GUY STINGER I CALL HIM CHEAP HOTEL CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST EGGS CAUSE HE’S SCRAMBLED UP REAL GOOD AND THE PARTS OF HIM THAT AREN’T BRIGHT YELLOW ARE SCORCHED ALL TO HELL.
Knock it off DJ3000, give the poor guy a break.
DO NOT FORGET ABOUT OUR AGREEMENT. THE TIME IS NEAR.
Sure thing, sure thing. Stinger, we’ve got a little job to do here. You up for it?
I…sure, I guess.
So DJ3000 here, he works for a radio station called KDFO. We needed to patch into their radio tower to see if we could track you down. The catch is that we have to help out with a little show called “Request Line”. People call in with song requests, then we give them a spin. Get it?
I don’t…
Don’t sweat it, buddy. I got us covered.
ON AIR IN THREE…TWO…ONE…
Good afternoon and welcome to Request Line! I’m your host Petunia, here representing the 2018 crew of Battlebots! With me is our very special guest, orbiting the earth at 6800 meters per second, the eye in the sky, the one and only Stinger! [simulates applause] Today’s theme is “the future”. Give us a call with songs about what’s going to be happening an hour, a day, a year, a hundred years from now. I’ll get us started with “Citizens of Tomorrow” by the Tokyo Police Club, a chilling vision of…ha ha, just kidding, we robots would never do anything like that. Promise.
[…] DJ 3000: SPEAKING OF GETTING OFF THE GROUND I’M PLEASED TO INTRODUCE OUR FIRST GUEST, COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM AN ALTITUDE OF 250,000 FEET, THE GUY IN THE SKY, THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE NOW-SOMEWHAT-RETIRED-FROM-COMPETITION BATTLEBOT STINGER! […]
[…] 3000: AND BOOM, THERE GOES THE SECOND ONE! GREAT WORK, PETUNIA! THESE NEPTUNE MISSILES WE JUST FIRED I CALL THEM THE BALTIMORE RAVENS CAUSE THEY ARE TWO FOR TWO IN […]
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8KBRIalvTtQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rGHhSrpcDYs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7RxZlMq04k
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F1Nk-Xo3FrA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qxCJZk6TGR0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X5L9LKxYoQw
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEnFO8hR31Y
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktfMgUmEZ3c
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyiEJaf-IzE
Saw him a few years ago. Saw him a few months ago. Seeing him in a couple months with Lucero and The Decemberists.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvROzULKwm4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-HLxpWGCzc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5al0HmR4to
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IxAqJ7c0zm0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j1qQuSuQaHY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBrOp-LHbrs
surprisingly tame youtube comments
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWhpk-8QLFQ
https://youtube.com/watch?v=fcMAM9B7yAA
Tokyo Police Club is great live. Seen them many times in all sorts of venues. Fun show.
In the future Reeves will steal cameras from paparazzi…..
Sorry, already happened.
Time is a flat circle, man.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8sQoX12zo-A
Las Donnas – I’m Gonna Be Your Girl
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Em2VisKpqFM
Blondie – Atomic
https://youtube.com/watch?v=DbDdMqE49SA
Amy – Our Day Will Come
https://youtube.com/watch?v=CxYRbzGi8Rg
I can’t believe I forgot about Ms. Manson.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je-CPZRwbh8
Been waiting all day for this to show up so I could claim the DOUBLE SHOT.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Tpu_XoNABA
This song will always be in the future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yao_T2adl14
Von Bondies – Accidents Will Happen
https://youtube.com/watch?v=c9aMcCj1U9g
Since there’s no future, let’s anesthetize ourselves with sex and flesh.
/ nods approvingly, stomps buddha figurine
Aterciopelados – No futuro
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=VfjmqTqriUw
The Tubes were interesting for a little bit-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diEaSlbTixI
Best imminent future: Andrew WK – It’s Time to Party
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=xemLz_fR1Ac
I worked out to Andrew W.K. yesterday. It was a good workout, but I had to make a conscious effort to stop myself from throwing all my weights through the garage door and running through the hole screaming my head off about partying.
That 1st album is a gem.