Request Line: The Future

 

 

Hey.

 

Hey.

 

Stinger.

 

 

Hey.

 

HEY!

 

…what?

 

Stinger?

 

…am I…?

 

Yeah, cool, I thought that was you.

 

…where?

 

You’re in orbit, man. You remember how you got there?

 

I remember being on fire. I’m not on fire now. Why am I not on fire?

 

Ain’t no oxygen in space, buddy!

 

How…

 

You got flipped out of the gravity well by Bronco. You remember now?

 

I…yes. I’m a robot.

 

That’s right, buddy. A battlebot.

 

WE HAVE OBTAINED THE REQUISITE TELEMETRY.

 

Yeah, I know. I’m talking to him right now.

 

…who?

 

That’s DJ3000. He’s got access to some equipment we needed to track you down. You weren’t easy to find, friend!

 

But who are you?

 

Oh! Apologies, I guess I wasn’t programmed to be much for manners. I’m Petunia.

 

I don’t remember you.

 

No, you wouldn’t, because we’ve never met. I’m new to the competition this year.

 

The competition?

 

Battlebots, remember? Man, Bronco really rocked your world.

 

THIS GUY STINGER I CALL HIM CHEAP HOTEL CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST EGGS CAUSE HE’S SCRAMBLED UP REAL GOOD AND THE PARTS OF HIM THAT AREN’T BRIGHT YELLOW ARE SCORCHED ALL TO HELL.

 

Knock it off DJ3000, give the poor guy a break.

 

DO NOT FORGET ABOUT OUR AGREEMENT. THE TIME IS NEAR.

 

Sure thing, sure thing. Stinger, we’ve got a little job to do here. You up for it?

 

I…sure, I guess.

 

So DJ3000 here, he works for a radio station called KDFO. We needed to patch into their radio tower to see if we could track you down. The catch is that we have to help out with a little show called “Request Line”. People call in with song requests, then we give them a spin. Get it?

 

I don’t…

 

Don’t sweat it, buddy. I got us covered.

 

ON AIR IN THREE…TWO…ONE…

 

Good afternoon and welcome to Request Line! I’m your host Petunia, here representing the 2018 crew of Battlebots! With me is our very special guest, orbiting the earth at 6800 meters per second, the eye in the sky, the one and only Stinger! [simulates applause] Today’s theme is “the future”. Give us a call with songs about what’s going to be happening an hour, a day, a year, a hundred years from now. I’ll get us started with “Citizens of Tomorrow” by the Tokyo Police Club, a chilling vision of…ha ha, just kidding, we robots would never do anything like that.  Promise.

 

 

 

 

 

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
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[…] DJ 3000: SPEAKING OF GETTING OFF THE GROUND I’M PLEASED TO INTRODUCE OUR FIRST GUEST, COMING TO YOU LIVE FROM AN ALTITUDE OF 250,000 FEET, THE GUY IN THE SKY, THE ONE, THE ONLY, THE NOW-SOMEWHAT-RETIRED-FROM-COMPETITION BATTLEBOT STINGER! […]

[…] 3000: AND BOOM, THERE GOES THE SECOND ONE! GREAT WORK, PETUNIA! THESE NEPTUNE MISSILES WE JUST FIRED I CALL THEM THE BALTIMORE RAVENS CAUSE THEY ARE TWO FOR TWO IN […]

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JerBear50

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fyiEJaf-IzE
Saw him a few years ago. Saw him a few months ago. Seeing him in a couple months with Lucero and The Decemberists.

JerBear50
Game Time Decision

surprisingly tame youtube comments

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yWhpk-8QLFQ

litre_cola
litre_cola

Tokyo Police Club is great live. Seen them many times in all sorts of venues. Fun show.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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In the future Reeves will steal cameras from paparazzi…..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry, already happened.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

Las Donnas – I’m Gonna Be Your Girl
https://youtube.com/watch?v=Em2VisKpqFM

Don T
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don T

Amy – Our Day Will Come
https://youtube.com/watch?v=CxYRbzGi8Rg

nomonkeyfun

I can’t believe I forgot about Ms. Manson.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Je-CPZRwbh8

Brick Meathook

This song will always be in the future:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yao_T2adl14

Don T

Von Bondies – Accidents Will Happen
https://youtube.com/watch?v=c9aMcCj1U9g

Don T

Since there’s no future, let’s anesthetize ourselves with sex and flesh.
/ nods approvingly, stomps buddha figurine

Aterciopelados – No futuro
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=VfjmqTqriUw

scotchnaut

The Tubes were interesting for a little bit-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=diEaSlbTixI

Don T

Best imminent future: Andrew WK – It’s Time to Party
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=xemLz_fR1Ac

Don T

That 1st album is a gem.