See? I can talk all kinds of fancy when the mood urges me! Do you like urges? I like them. They crawl into your mindhole and sit there festering, oozing that delicious milky-white substance that tastes a lot like room temperature ice cream. (h/t, Mr. Flacco) And then, and then.. Hey! Look over there-is that a psychotic break? Sure looks like one. TO THE GAMES!

Cin/Dal:

What’s a Jeff Driskel? He’s a qb that shines brightest in the preseason for the Bengali’s. In five games total he’s yet to throw an intercept. Matt Barkley might just be hearing footsteps. After all, it’s not like a USC college qb to fail hard in the pros. I don’t like Tavon Austin. There. I said it.

SF/Hou:

Whoa. Richard Sherman plays for the Niners now? [shakes head incredulously] The things you learn when you intentionally ignore an intentionally abrasive dude! He’s played just eight games over the last two years but be prepared to hear JJ Watt being gabbed about/fawned over more than necessary.

TB/TEN:

Rook rb Ronald Jones The Sequel (who the heck willingly calls themselves Ronald? My stepbrother for one and he’s a head-in-the-sand kind of guy) has thrust himself down the depth chart using the twin weapons of fumbling and not pass-blocking. Not well played, Ronald, not well-played.

CHI/DEN:

The Bears are one of the NFL’s flagship teams and yet I’ve never met anyone that really hates on them. That tells you what a non-descript team/organization they are. No wonder their fans remora (is that a verb? It is now) themselves so tightly to 1985.

Sea/LAC:

Will traveling Seahawk fans outnumber the amount of disoriented hobos in the stands? By way of an answer, I’ll tell you that the ticket give-away at the soup kitchen was a moderate success.

As this is a nighter thread, don’t be shy about talking about non-footballing thingies. I’d like to hear about that co-worker that drives you nuts, that Groupon thing that went sideways or that damn squirrel that puts those evil thoughts in your head. Do the thing that makes you [insert emotion here]