“The day for what?”, you ask. It’s still too early to tell but I guarantee you something will happen and when it does we’ll both know. At that precise moment you’ll say, “Damnit scotch, you were right all along. I’d rather strangle my own mother than doubt you ever again!” I’ll just lean back, take a long hard draw on my Kool cigarette and say those magical three words that indicate that all is well in the world once again- “TO THE GAMES!”
Cincy/Atl:
Ridley me this statman-why does a rook wr with 3 games under his balls-protector have more TDs than his much more talented teammate has in the last 15 games? My Julio-than-thou take? Ridley is a burgeoning wr1 that is getting single coverage . T’were this to happen again today he’ll no doubt lengthen his 4-0 TD lead over Jones. Also, GO TEVIN!
TB/CHI:
Last I heard the Bucs were going to keep riding the Fitzmagic Bus all the way thru the Bears’ alimentary canal. GO MS. FRIZZLE!
Det/Dal:
Has Patricia The Stripper turned the Lions D around or was the stunning result last week only due to his intimate knowledge of how the Pats O works? If it’s the former than I look forward to the Cowjerks going into full panic mode when they are in possession of a 1-3 record.
Buff/GB:
Buffalo is t’udder squadoo coming off the massive upset. Despite fumbling 3 times rook qb Josh Allen inserted a wee bit of oxygen into the limp body of the Bills O. For his next trick he’ll try to make wr Benjamin relevant again. Just kidding, he’s very much prone to mistakes and will have a lousy stat line at game’s end.
Phi/Ten:
Rb Ajayi and his fractured back are a go this week. Makes me feel bad about that time I called in sick because I had a bad dream. (yeah, I had a waitress co-worker do just that-she was a bit loopy and more than just a little dramatic) There’s an indication that wr Jeffrey is a go today but I didn’t see where he was cleared for contact. If he does play I’m sure he’s on a limited snap count so don’t throw him into your lineup just yet. There, I just forced him to score a couple TDs and rack up 150 yards.
Hou/Indy:
You must think that de Watt is going to get to Luck at least a few times (Colts are down 2 starting o-line guys) before he breaks his ankleshoulder in an injury that is, in his words, “the worst injury anyone has ever suffered. Period.” Btw, start wr Fuller because the shaky Colts secondary will be all eyes on Hopkins.
Mia/NE:
I don’t have the exact numbers in front of me but I believe the Pats are eleventy-five and less than zero after a loss. The Fins are gonna be exposed as the worstest 3-0 team ever.
NYJ/Jax:
The Jets-now known as “The Browns Win-Givers” are coming off a loss much like the Jags. However one of these teams is not like the other and that latter team is gonna add another W to their record.
Time for you guys to have your fun…
Why in Christ’s name did the Iggles not call timeout right away?
WE WANT A DRAW!!!!!
My son is learning new words. Not good words
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbZhpf3sQxQ
White girl takes a facial. Black guy in the frame.
Someone’s probably about to call the cops.
(sorry)
I’m having a sudden Pass Interference fear.
AJception?
[takes finger out of nose] “Huh. They went to Green?”
-Falcons DC
Don’t bring this back for two-points. Please God!
AJ GREEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(exhales after 7 minutes holding breath) Yes!
(faints)
YES!!!!!
GREEEEEEEEN
never, ever change, fat hump defense
3 shots to the end zone!
“I…I think I can do this!”
-me
Is Earl Thomas playing?!
Houston, nobody still cares
Houston, we have disinterest.
What if a 2 point conversion was EITHER a play from the 2, or a 50 yard FG attempt?
Come on Titans. Score a TD
lol TITS!
Somebody was right about Calvin Ridley….. [looks around] IT WAS ME!
I like Nike’s new viral ad campaign.
LOL, Dalton looked like Wile E. Coyote there for a second.
Andy Dalton the University of Acme
Go Browns?
YES!!
It seems that Marvin actually gets that he needs to bleed down the clock, as well as score the winning TD here.
It’s probably accidental.
come on Cincy. Hey, throw it to AJ?
bears are 3-1, and will have…
– bye week
– afc east shitbags next 4 games
– killed fitzmagic so we don’t have to hear about his fuckin ass no more
Not a dumb plan though. It was 4th & GOAL. It only moves the ball from the 18 to the 13 and to the 8. Too far to go for it.
Why is Rodgers still playing?
even Spur feels this is unnecessarily dangerous to A,A, Ron, Cap’n BlueBunny
/waves brochure
I’d like to attend this summer camp Mom!!!!!!
You rip your taint….. might be worth it.
I said “attend”, not participate. Well, not that way. If my taint gets torn it won’t be from doing that.
Can. Not. Stop. Watching.
THAT CALL IS BULLSHIT HE WAS NOT OFFSIDES.
Overseas Pornography is weird.
You apparently have not seen US pornography. OR you have some “interesting fetishes.”
That ball was snapped before he moved. He anticipated it well, but he was not offsides.
Bengals just got screwed.
You get used to it.
Yeah, I get it. If you’re in teh AFC del Norte and you’re not named Pittsburgh, it just kinda gets to feel normal.
oh goddamnit, Bungles. You fuck off and you DIE
Bengals are going to lose to a team that lined Austin Hooper up at wide receiver
I know that a lot of you don’t like Aaron Rodgers, and I understand that, but he does have a very infectious smile.
Offsides, DAMN!
Almost 240 all purpose yards for Zeke and Cowboys were in good shape to win the game even with the Defensive breakdowns.
#BFIB, freed of the shackles of expectation…
Bruce Arians with the newsboy cap
Lawson praying for no flags
Sam Darnold has thrown about 6 near interceptions.
Soooooo…benching Golden Tate this week was kinda stupid, huh?
All lions receivers terrify me. I went against Golladay today.
That was one of the stranger delayed whistles i’ve ever seen
Striped will be the Pylons, they will NAWT inherit the earth…
Fucking Lions. Jesus how useless can you be.
they had one good for the year, it has been used up
Keep starting their d every couple weeks like trying licorice thinking how bad can it be
Oh, Tits
Deep fade to Zeke? Admittedly, did nae see that coming.
Zeke will be wide receiver
Anyone got eyes on the Jet Jaguar tilt?
Hey, Bengals! Its ain’t two-hand touch football yet!
CHRIST, Bungles.
Austin Hooper might be the slowest, plodding, easiest to cover asshole I’ve ever seen. How do they let him get that wide open?
they were just trying to get in long FG range, and still somehow let him get the first
Dallas has to be the only team in the nfl that purposefully disappears it’s best player in the 2 minute drill.
Bengals predictably forgetting that Sanu is good
They already forgot when they let him walk.