I’ve been away for a coupla weeks. Yet I still really don’t know what to talk about this week.
I’m writing this early because there’s another hurricane ‘gon roll up this way.
And I fully expect to lose electricity, internet and phone. Again. The last of which might be a blessing, actually.
I hate the telephone.
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So Let’s Talk About The Telephone
I have a landline and two cells. And I shit you not, 90% of the calls I get on all those lines these days are from scamming telemarketing scum.
5% are from legitimate telemarketers. And trust me, I use the term “legitimate” very, very loosely there.
The other 5% is from my relatives who have screwed up their lives in one way or another….and want money.
I see no distinction. They’re all a pain in my ass and they all want my money.
My recent favourite pastime is to try to see how quickly I can get the scamming telemarketing scum to cuss me out. I’m getting very good at it. I’ve been told I should not be doing this because those assholes are funded by organized crime, but I don’t care. Fuck ’em. You keep calling my fucking phone over and over? Imma damn well fuck with you. If I’m important enough (I’m not) for organized crime to come looking for me, then bring it. tWBS has guns and a security system. If you can get in without me seeing or hearing you, then best of luck.
I know it’s stupid and petty of me to screw around with them. But meh, it passes the time.
But I am considering having the landline ripped out and changing both of my cell numbers. smgdh.
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Fun With Telemarketing Scum
I’m not going to actually tell most of these stories, because I still plan to eventually write a standalone post on this subject.
But earlier today….
- Telemarketing Scum (Allegedly from Credit Card Company which wants to lower my interest): Hello, how are you today?
- tWBS: I’m fine, thank you. How are you?
- TS: I’m great, thank you for asking. And may God bless you and your family.
- tWBS: Wait, why would you say that?
- TS: What?
- tWBS: You have no idea who you’re talking to and you’re in Pakistan (they ARE in Pakistan, btw….I’ve gotten a few of them to admit that to me). Why would you bring God into this? What if I’m an atheist?
- TS: What?
- tWBS: First, I’m not stupid enough to fall for your ploy. I’m not giving you my credit card information. Second, if I was an atheist, you just blew it either way.
- TS: Fuck you.
- tWBS: Soooooo…..I guess you don’t want God to bless me and my family anymore?
- TS: Fuck you…..Click
/tWBS laughs
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Sports You Can Call On 2Nite
NCAA FB
- (23) S.Florida @ Tulsa – 7:00pmEDT – TV: ESPN
- Air Force @ San Diego State – 9:00pmEDT – TV: CBSSN
- Arizona @ Utah – 10:00pmEDT – TV: ESPN
MLB
- Dodgers @ Brewers (NLCS Game One) – 8:00pmEDT – TV: FS1
NBA
- Rockets @ Grizzlies – 8:00pmEDT – TV: NBATV
- Lakers @ Warriors – 10:30pmEDT – TV: ESPN2
NHL
None. Nada. Nothing.
Way to go, Gary.
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Call Me Maybe?
Enjoy…
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Speaking Of A Calling
Senor Weaselo has worked his cute little tushy off all year about covering the Battlebots on Science Channel. It’s a really fun show.
Now get in there and do some democracy and vote!!!!!
(bottom of post)
Later taters.
Have a great weekend, everyone.
Love ya’s.
–
When’s the next Boots on the Ground?
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/crime/2018/10/12/woman-allegedly-ran-prostitution-business-downtown-cincinnati-parlor/1610041002/
Damn CPD. Couldn’t they have waited until after my 4PM appointment on Monday?
Did you have a coupon?
Vice cops are the worst cops.
Anybody else feel bogged down.
I’ll take “High School Mistakes” for $400, Alex.
Preseason basketball! Woooo!
What in the Babylonian fuck is going on?
We’ve got thunder and lightning and rain.
WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE!
Finally!
On my side of LAX it’s snowing.
Pretty sure that’s just cocaine.
Its like Mother Nature decided to skip September and October and went to November here in Cincinnati.
Is Earth okay? Are we spinning off our axis?
There is a wobble now.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/trevornace/2018/09/24/humans-are-causing-earth-to-wobble-more-as-it-spins-nasa-finds/#64da0fa0c820
If the Steelers blow out the Bengals and I’m not commenting, you don’t need to send the cops for a welfare check as I’ll be on the road. Also, I won’t be driving so you won’t have to worry about me swerving into oncoming traffic or into a tree.
NEVER FORGET.
That one day at the gym.
Get some D.
I wasn’t expecting her to give me the D.
Oh well. I’ll allow it.
OOK OOK
SHACK IT BABY!!
Look at her checkin’ dat ass.
Dat bird has the Runaway Bride eyes.
What’s so simple in the moonlight, by the morning is so
Complicated.
Happy Friday Fuckers.
(goes to TV; nervously checks CNN, MSNBC, FOX NEWS)
“Not on. Not on. Hey, not on! I won’t have to watch Trump’s speech.”
(goes to local channels; sees they’ve broken into for live coverage)
(clicks to FOX 19) “Oh…”
(clicks to NBC 5) “…for…”
(clicks to ABC 9): “…fuck’s…”
(clicks to CBS 12: “…sa…HEY! Inside Edition! Thank you, WKRC!”
OK, let’s have a traffic report from Pamela on Scootr-Cam (r).
https://youtu.be/5ipM763RDgc
Señor asked out favorite robot fights, this isn’t from this season, but still, let’s go a little old school
Now a division of Facebook University
Looking at The 506, it appears that with Joe Buck calling the beisbol, we won’t have to put up with Aikman calling any of the Fox games this Sunday. That’s cool.
-T. Aikman
Nice shirt.
Anyone else get a craving for chocolate milk?
That sure ain’t Quik!
You have city hands, Mr. Hooper. You been tappin’ a keyboard all your life.
You know what else is all “natural”…
http://www.bostonherald.com/sports/patriots/the_blitz/2018/10/josh_gordon_tom_brady_have_developed_natural_relationship
i just don’t see how the pro-weed Gordon is getting along a the coked-up P*triots.
NFL drug tester looking at J. Gordon’s sample: “Well, he can’t have tested positive for ALL of these things, there must have been a mistake; throw the test out and do it again in 6 mon- oh they won another superbowl.”
Looks like she could kick my ass. 2/10, would run away.
No you wouldn’t.
On tonight’s edition of “Fucked Up Shit My Mom Says”…
tWBS: Do you want want to do your physical therapy? You don’t have to get up, I can bring the little nerf thingy to you.
tWBS’ Mom: No I think I’ve squeezed enough out of it today.
tWBS: Goddammit. (falls onto floor laughing uncontrollably)
tWBS’ Mom: What the fuck did I say this time?
/tWBS dies from stroke due to lack of oxygen to brain due to laughing
(I swear this all just happened….all except the stroke part….I think….I’m too stoned to be sure)
http://digitalspyuk.cdnds.net/16/20/768×384/landscape-1463492454-countdown-bumhole.gif
Re the headline, great, now I’ve got a Sugarloaf earworm.
I love seeing Kershaw lose. Put it in my veins.
Wow. That was a helluva throw. I though his jump had that base. Grandal say…nuh uh.
Well shit.
Was STILL a helluva throw.
BTW, one of the photos above of the lovely ladies and their phones….is a tWBS original.
Tell me which one correctly, and win the prize.
(the prize is nothing more than me telling you you’re correct)
((don’t get excited))
And some of you are already disqualified because you’ve met her. So keep yer mouths shut.
13
Nope, but close.
You’ve already told us it’s this one
?resize=378%2C567&ssl=1
DAMMIT AYO THAT’S WHY I FUCKING DISQUALIFIED YOU.
But yes.
I’ve never met her! That you know of.
Well, I suppose, technically speaking, that is true. You haven’t “met” her. My mistake on my loose phrasing (lol…loose phrasing).
But you still knew the answer. You didn’t break the letter of the law.
But definitely the SPIRIT of the law.
Aren’t you ashamed of yourself you dirty stinking CHEATER????????
(hehehehe….I might be a little high, btw so ignore anything I say)
I love cheating. It’s a sure fire win everytime!
Don’t get your hopes up, but my dad mentioned that he’s thinking of voting Democratic this year. He’s never voted Democratic in his life.
He’s not Moderate. He was raised that if the choice was Satan or Democrat, you vote for Satan.
I’m not sayin’ it.
Anyboday else wanna?
(still love you tho….and your dad too)
Me too. When he told me, I checked to be sure he wasn’t having an adverse reaction to his heart meds.
Hehehehe. Well maybe don’t rule that out just yet.
Did he pass out when he told you this?
Nah. More resigned resignation.
“I didn’t leave them. They left us.”
I’m honestly more curious as to what his real tipping point was.
If it was trumps scumminess, it might happen. if its economic, that may change enough for him to justify whatever made him vote for trump in the first place.
Don’t give up hope. My grandad hhadn’t voted Democrat sinceKennedy, but he voted for hilary, and he explicitly stated it was due to racism.
Aunt and uncle on the same side of the family chose not to vote, and they’re gunntoting Christians. Difference is that they’re real nchristisns, the kind that doesn’t hate gays and people of color
Its probably scumminess. Character is a big point with him. Its the one thing he hammered home with me growing up. “The most valuable thing you have is your good name. Its the easiest to lose and once lost, its next to impossible to gain back”
He might have voted for Trump in 2016, but if he did, it was more an Anti-Hillary vote.
Was hoping to see a Kershaw no-hitter; instead he’s given up a 400 foot home run to the goddamned opposing pitcher.
Playoff Kershaw is back!
Also, Grandal needs to be benched STAT
“No really. I want a 50 MPH high arcing pitch as my 5th pitch. They’ll never see it coming.”
Lorenzo Cain singles
What is “Worst Dating Site Ever” Alex?
Something something I’ve got a bone for her something something
Who’s got two thumbs and unexpectedly came into the possession of some weed tonight?
(go ahead, say it….you know the answer)
((hint: tWBS gon’ be high as fuck in about an hour))
NOT JOE BUCK: “I know the numbers say this, but maybe that’s not reality…”
Jesus Fucking Christ
It’s weird how I’ve come back around to liking pubic hair in my porn as I’ve gotten older.
h
ttps://i.imgur.com/AsWxUGz.jpg
It heightens the smell…
Beat LA.
God damn it, Philly.
At least the water making it into the sewers is safe enough for fish?
Is this the Ghost Adventures liveblog?
Rage induced rant coming.
Redshirt, I hope you took my advice and voted socialist.
The Senate reached a deal on confirming 15 judges (3 Circuit, 12 District) so that the Democrats could go home and campaign. All they had to do to refuse unanimous consent was have senators in safe seats remain and hold the floor while those who weren’t safe go home. This would force Turtle fuck face to deliver 50 Republican votes in person – likely including Heller – to confirm each nominee, with the votes spaced out over weeks.
These judges can’t be so bad, right? Well, there’s David James Porter, 52, of Pennsylvania, is a longtime ally of Rick Santorum who will be a U.S. Circuit Judge for the Third Circuit for decades!
Ryan Douglas Nelson, 45, is a proponent of “vigorous executive power necessary to defend our nation against foreign enemies.”He’ll be around for decades!
Richard J. Sullivan, a 54 year old judge from New York, is known for his draconian sentencing, to the point that it made national news! He’ll be around for decades!
Also being around for decades is William McCrary Ray II, 55, a U.S. District Judge for the Northern District of Georgia! Ray on if there was no racial profiling: “We’re going to have to lock our doors and keep our kids off the streets because we’re not going to be able to protect ourselves.”
Liles Burke is a 49 year old white supremacist who will be repping Northern Alabama for Decades!
56 year old Michael Juneau will be repping Western Louisanna, he’s apart of anti-LGBTQ groups.
Mark Norris, 63, is the newest Western District of Tennessee judge. He tried to bar refugees from settling in the state. He’ll last at least a decade!
Eli Richardson is 51 and was sanctioned!
But hey, now that the deal is done, the Democrats can freely campaign to try and get a majority so that they can stop the appointment of right wing justices they literally just let have power.
The Democrats!
I see people saying how voting for the lesser evil is still slowing down the evil instead of, you know, still voting for evil.
And my retort is: You said the same thing in 2006 and nothing changed after the Democrats took back both houses. No one was held accountable. The Iraq war and GWOT didn’t end. Bybee and Yoo and Gonzales and Ashcroft and Comey and Mueller and Cheney and Rumsfeld and Wolfowitz and every other war criminal traitor weren’t hanged in the Fort McNair parade grounds. NOLA. The PATRIOT Act is still law. DHS still exists. Bush and Cheney weren’t impeached. Inequality wasn’t addressed. Healthcare wasn’t addressed except for that Medicare prescription bill that fucked more people than it helped. The judiciary was still being filled by criminals and party hacks like Bybee and Kavanaugh. Roberts wasn’t impeached for perjury during his confirmation hearing. They made heroes out of US Attorneys like David Iglesias, who didn’t pursue enough partisan prosecutions of state and local officials in their districts, but they still collected plenty of pelts.
In 2008, they won a supermajority in both houses, got a Democratic President with an overwhelming mandate, and had immense popular support and a huge grassroots machine. They threw it all away because OFA was a threat to the DNC leadership and Obama was a naive, incompetent coward.
Eight years later, the Dems lost over 1,000 legislature seats, many permanently due to redistricting, state judiciaries, state executives. There are maybe six states that the Dems control (in the case of New York, traitorous Democrats aided by Governor Cuomo caucused with Republicans to give them control of the state senate because “fuck democracy.”).
Fuck them.
Don’t think there’s been a supermajority in either house since the 90s
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/111th_United_States_Congress
Wishing for a unicorn doesn’t make it so, taking the position in which the unicorn was put in completely out of context is the easy part of blaming that unicorn for your own unrealistic expectations.
If only the United States was a country with loose to nonexistent gun control laws and relatives of those wrongly imprisoned would shoot them, this limiting their damage.
Oh wait.
It’s funny you bring that up…..
Well, not funny. But the timing is interesting.
My redneck family members walking into my house with a sidearm on their hip ended today.
That completely freaks me out.
Where is Woody Harrelson’s dad when we really need him?
Don’t forget to vote for your favorite Battlebots fight!
In honor of theWeeBabyCrapSoup’s chainsaw:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A52p9jc-gOo&ab_channel=JackylVEVO
OK smartass. You can talk shit about me if you want, but leave my chainsaw outta this.