2018 Quotables – Week 6 (Submissions)

blaxabbath

blaxabbath

I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
blaxabbath

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Week 6 action is here! I don’t really know what that means considering we’ve known who the contenders for Super Bowl L3 are since about November of last year. But for those of you who just enjoy the sport of football and all the hours of commercials each broadcast entails, this week was a great one (at least according to league media partners). Me personally? Well, I’m more of a Daren Rovell type whose more focused on the business of the league. Which is why I’m very excited to see what kind of offers Miami starts to see with the resurgence of Brock Osweiler.

Nah I’m just making a joke there. Kind of priming you all for this week’s batch-‘o-gifs. Oh! Reached my word limit! So here are your week 6 Quotables submissions!

 


Let’s just get this one out of the way first.

“Hey guys! Can you Dougie?!” – A. Thielen

UnderArmor responds to the Nike “Believe in Something” campaign with a Wisconsin SJW.

Remember when OBJ was known for his abilities as a wide receiver? Pepperidge Farms remembers.

Jameis Winston opens up so many more offensive schemes you just can’t get with Fitzpatrick under center.

“::Smiles::” -RTD

So stick around for these Colts vs Jets highlights!

Flacco wisely preserves Crabtree for the second half.
blaxabbath
blaxabbath
I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
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Enrico PallazzoblaxabbathLemonJelloSenor WeaseloUnsurprised Recent comment authors
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Enrico Pallazzo

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ESPN with the major spoiler for Thursday’s Broncos/Cardinals game

Enrico Pallazzo

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Some guys handled the news of Dennis Hof’s death better than others.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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There are Japanese fishermen with the weirdest boners right now…well, weirder than usual, maybe.

LemonJello
LemonJello

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It’s plays like this that put to rest the question: “Is Flacco elite??”

LemonJello
LemonJello

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“I haven’t seen a Chief treated with so much disdain and contempt since the Indian Removal Act of 1830!”

LemonJello
LemonJello

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“Hey! Great costumes!”
*confused* “What costumes?”

LemonJello
LemonJello

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What outcome did you expect from an audible called “Crablegs Uber Alles”?

LemonJello
LemonJello

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MNF Producer: “Whaaaaaa!?! Who edited auto-correct to replace Roger Goodell with this???

Senor Weaselo

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Powerbomb… compliments of Captain Insano.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Here, without all the shit around the edges.

Downfield Matriculator
Downfield Matriculator

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Needs more Frank Wycheck

nomonkeyfun

You’d think think Jameis would be better at forcing things by now.

nomonkeyfun

Re: Garbage

DFO goes silent for fifteen seconds. No one is willing to admit why.

SonOfSpam

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He got flagged for slamming that Dolphin on porpoise.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

(Gives him a ‘+1’ anyway)

SonOfSpam

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“Oooh, that’s great defense!”

– Chris Conte

SonOfSpam

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Fucking Cousins creates inbred window-lickers.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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I’m going to go out on a limb and say those are the only cans he’ll be playing with tonight.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

He always has his two cans to play with.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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This kind of play makes any coach crabby

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wait, the Saints are 5-1? When the hell did this happen?

Duchess

I guess they had 5 home games in the first 6 weeks

SonOfSpam

Maybe next week?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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“Shit, you hit the wrong button, Craig! We were saving that graphic for the Super Bowl!”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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Modern baseball scorekeepers put this one down as a “base hit”.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I know it happens thousands of times every day, but it still warms my heart to see a Yankees fan get completely ignored.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I haven’t seen someone toast themselves like this since Chris Conte’s teammates tricked him into trying to cover a mirror.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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THIS GUY KIRK COUSINS I CALL HIM RONALD MILLER CAUSE IT APPEARS HE LEARNED HOW TO DANCE BY WATCHING A DOCUMENTARY.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“You’re doing the rain dance wrong!”

–Dan Snyder

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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In his defense, Lil Wayne is a better option than Eli at this point.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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The NFL is becoming so much like Professional Wrestling that the Saudis are looking to add an expansion team in Riyadh.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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Looks like Flacco’s wife has another WR effort to criticize publicly

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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“Mission Accomplished”
–Roger Goodell

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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I thought rough bear stuff was just for South Beach

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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I’m triggered

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Me too.” – Lauren Tannehill

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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I don’t know if anyone is gonna be able to top the original on this one.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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I’m going to call this the Shortbus Sway, because I learned it at the middle school dance from the kids who rode the short bus.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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Jeffery Jones and Bette Midler are finally able to get back on TV, although playing Packers fans must be the low point of their careers.

ballsofsteelandfury

LOOKIT!! I DUN ROPED ME A DOLPHIN!! YEEHAW!

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

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Boots Randolph will be able to move up to a better class of nursing home from the Yakety Sax royalties now that Jameis is back under center.

entropy

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“If Child Services sees us dressed like this on the Jumbotron, we’ll never get our kids back!”

“Well, fuckin’ cheers to that!”

Game Time Decision

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Cousin’s singing:
You put your right hand in
You take your right hand out
You put your left hand in
You take your left hand out
You put your left hand in
And you shake it all about
You do the hokey pokey
And you turn yourself around
That’s what it’s all about

everybody now!

entropy

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“Guys… GUYS… stop dancing. I’m pretty sure I’m having a stroke. Seriously, stop and HELP ME.”

Duchess

Guys Guys I said we should be loose like this… Not lose.

Redshirt

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Boy, these Truth in Advertising Laws are getting strict.

Game Time Decision

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Magic 8-ball says that the NFL is….

Redshirt

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In his defense, he didn’t hit his head.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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And here I thought they only tossed fish in Seattle.

Redshirt

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“WE’RE NUMBER ONE! WE’RE NUMBER ONE!’

Game Time Decision

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[Day, inside the Chicago training facility]
Office assistant over the PA:
Mr Floyd, there’s a Vince McMahon on line one for you with a job offer

entropy

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“Hey, Bob, you misspelled ‘Giants’ again.”