I hope that them damn west coasters are gonna do their part this, the most holy of football-watching weeks. Those of us occupying the eastern standard time zone have already been up for quite some time. We’ve been saying our prayers and helping little persons cross dangerous intersections all the morning long. Let’s check in with our emotionally-distant cousins, shall we?
US: [rings all the west coast]
WC: [message clicks] “We’re still snoozing in our hyperbaric chamber at the moment. Please call back in several hours. Preferably after we’ve enjoyed a lazy brunch of braised alpaca tenderloin with over-medium, soy-infused Great Speckled Condor eggs. It’s the latest thing. You wouldn’t know anything about it-”
US: Jesus Christ we get it-
WC: [message continues] “I wasn’t finished. Wish you wouldn’t interrupt like that. As I was saying-”
US: [hangs up]
Yep, business as usual for the westie brethren TO THE GAME!
Titans/Chargers:
LA will be without de Bosa and rb Gordon and on the surface that shouldn’t be an issue against a lost-two-in-a-row and fading Tennessee squadoo. After all, Rivers is playing at a fantastic level at the moment-he’s getting the ball out quicker than every other qb so far at 2.4 seconds. He’s only thrown 3 intercepts so far (one of which bounced off the hands of Gordon into a defender’s) and has been sacked only 7 times. Hell, that’s 25 times less than he’s sacked Tiffany since the start of September! I was wondering why I bothered drafting such a putz in rb Henry and started doing a wee bit of homework. Both he and fellow back Lewis are averaging less than 3.5 yards per carry and it may be due to the fact that they’ve played 4 of the top 7 run D’s so far this year and haven’t faced an overall D that is outside the top 12. The Chargers less than vaunted defenders come in around the 20th mark . Is this the week that Henry unloads? If so, stand back-that stuff gets everywhere.
Get yer monocles out, dandies!
Football on at 7:30a is pretty solid. The pregame shows are amazingly more painful to watch than CLIPPIT v DONTs. Wife is working today so I’ve got blaxito solo today. Got about an hour of work into the laundry room before he got up (started on flooring — and I’m not quite sure I don’t have enough of these leftovers from when we did the house). But now, while I watch him lie on the table and work on rolling over, we can actually have a game!
Also, with ARI playing Thurs, no restrictions on my Sunday line up!
So, has Don T burned the Burger King to the ground yet?
Don’s from Puerto Rico; no one there is burning any functioning business down for quite some time.
WOO!!!! Finally didn’t drop one of these!!!
Damnit, Titans, I needed those three points for fantasy!
This drive started during the pre-game
New Tits same as the old Tits
says someone NAWT dumb enough to have ever dated a stripper ,, smh
Moar Chargers fans showing up in London than LA.
To be fair, there’s more hot British celebrities in LA than London.
Hugh Grant is a fucking idiot
I think I saw a Samoan in the stands.
Does Tennessee have any running backs?
MOAR LIEK plodding backs
I hate the Shitty Clippers SO MUCH
strip sack PLEASE
[pictures Marcus Mariota doing a sexy striptease as he gets sacked]
Eh, could do worse.
Case in point.
ah mean, was already hard over the Everton XI, have to get the lotion out now ,, smgdh
am thinking bacon, potatoes and eggs.
“Me too!”
– Andy Reid, in line at the bank
“Me too!”
-Andy Reid, down by 4 and on the Patriot’s 12 yard line with 1:13 to go in the 4th.
Dutch art is weird…
#NightmareFuel
Please let there be a poop underneath. Please let there be a poop underneath.
LIKE YOU WEREN’T THINKING THAT!
No Comment.
it’s DUTCH, nae GERMAN
Hee hee
It is actually supposed to represent someone taking a squat shit. This is from an area where the Dutch reclaimed the land. Historically, it was a destitute area, with diseases, but after WWII, it was turned into sort of the great plains. Farms were made and it turned into the bread basket of Europe.
Its sort of a massive monument to all the people that regularly died of dysentery here.
I feel my 12 year old mind has been redeemed. Thank you!
– Puritans 1630
that play is a nice little physics lesson!
West coast in the hizzy!
Jesus it’s early. I may watch this fixture from bed.
Nice use of fixture. STILL LATE.
I am!
OK, soup is in the IntantPot, I’m done vacuuming the house. I’ve changed the cat’s litterbox out. And swept out the garage.
But it’s still only 10:30am on a Sunday.
Fuck it, I’m drankin’.
How the absolute fuck are the Chargers 4-2?
voodoo?
Shitty competition
They got to play the Raiders once, there’s one win right there.
/Stumbles in at 10:24 am.
OK, OK, no need to laugh and point, I’m he…
/realizes his robe is open
Ah, fuck.
I wonder if Londoners realize no one in LA gives a shit about the Shitty Clippers.
“Nobody gives a shit about the Falklands!” – British foreign minister, 1982
If anyone is desperate for a wr, take a look at Deontay Burnett. He just came off the Jets practice squad and was Darnold’s bread and butter guy last year at USC.
oooooohhhhh, Scotchy Balls on teh Fantasy Table?
I honestly think the dogs purposely woke me up in time for the game.
good doggies
[checks in while doing the other intro posts]
Kudos to all you fellers that bothered to drag your corpses out of the comfy bed all the way over to the comfy couch!
I adore breakfast football.
allows us to flex our veins for RZ
That’s Bloody Mary football, good sir!
/or BONUS PILL
after the Bolts victory today, Rivers is going to burn down Hogwarts. Bunch of pussy devil worshipers.
Only after figuring out how Queen Victoria had nine children with only four coming out inbred retards.
Andre Gomes makes his sexy Everton debut in the XI, next to Gana in CM. This is almost our maximum sexy alignment, just need Yerry Mina ahead of Keane (he does make the bench finally, at least).
Covering!
7am Best Coast time. Football from 7am – 9pm.
inexcusably late
BS. i post at 6am before i went for a jog, see below.
inexcusably ducked out of MANDATORY WATCHING
Who would you folks say is the most risk-averse coach in the NFL?
Buttchinski?
Mike McCarthy
Bolts can run it
I am glad Dok slept in and left Ekeler on her bench!!
BOLTMAN!’s wrath has really aged Anthony Lynn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HW4J-RiCZ2Q
Is it too much to ask to get this from a London game?
just TEN MINUTES until the Everton team sheet is out!
WHOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!
That isn’t Mike Wiliams
Huh? What? FUCK YOU!!!
“Comedians” who aren’t the least bit funny:
JB Smoove
Amy Schumer
James Carden is like if Jay Leno and Prince Charles had a baby, and specifically raised it to be unfunny.
ah, we get World’s Largest Outdoor Cocktail Party next Saturday, at least.
Okay…watching the British feed. They are using American announcers. BOOOO!!!! I want utterly confused British announcers. Also, since they don’t fill up their sporting events with massive amounts of commercials, the feed switches to a studio feed, where three people are just talking about what just happened. Its like non-stop mini half time shows.
Gee…I wonder why this game will never take off in Europe.
There is so much downtime, they must think it’s baseball.
hey now, they televise DARTS
Yeah, but there’s no downtime. You move from player to player fairly quickly.
admittedly, I do notice the difference in RedZone, but it’s more of a maintenance dose/full on opiate high kind of thing
My wife just said she wanted Arlo White.
They usually go back to the mother ship where you will get British guys and a token player who has played to talk about it. Hockey broadcasts were great for that.
“See London, we’re not so bad.”
-KGB agents after seeing this Titans-Chargairs matchup
Please hold to a FG
This is what I get for starting the Shitty Clippers D
This might be the best the Tits have looked all year. I benched Chicago’s D for these assholes.
I had the scored goddamned 48 Donks on mine. 2 picks dropped on the drive.
who’s the fit bird on the touchline?
I am on a bridge, looking out to the historic village I parked at.
These are the windmills of Zaanse Schans. So I am basically facing this view. I hear three women in American English talking loudly while on bicycles. They stop behind me and I hear.
“EXCUSE ME! EXCUSE ME”
I turn around. They have stopped, in the middle of the big lane.
“Yes?”
“DO…YOU…SPEAK…ENGLISH?” Loud as shit and slow as fuck, as if I am retarded.
“Yes I do. Since you have stopped, move out of the bike lane and we can talk. You standing there is backing up traffic” These three are completely ignoring the backup they are causing.
Two of the girls move their bikes onto the walk path. The third one that talked to me like an idiot just stands there and says “DO…YOU…KNOW…WHER…DEEEE ZANS…SANS…IS?!?!” I mean she is pratically shouting at me, while cyclists are trying to ride past her.
I turn to the one girl “Has your friend fallen off her bike and hit her head or something? There is a clinic down the road”. The two girls giggle and one of them apologizes.
“I don’t think this guy understands us”
The one girl turns and says “Oh my god Britney shut up”
So I turn to the loud girl. “You are looking for Zaanse Schans right? The historical village with all the windmills. Like there are five windmills right on top of each other. Keep in mind, the image above. The girls are literally looking at it over my shoulder. The one girl rolls her eyes “Oh my goodness, you must think we are morons”
“Not at all. I get lost here all the time. You guys want to grab a coffee on the way there? I got to walk back there to get my car”
So I am walking with the two girls with their bikes, while the third girl is tagging along. We are just talking about the Netherlands and how we ended up here. About two minutes into the walk the loud girl goes…
“YOU…SPEAK…ENGLISH…VERY…GOOD. HOW…LONG…HAVE…YOU…SPEAK…IT?”
“36 years. I’m glad you notice the effort I put into it”
Wow. Americans are morons.
Another point for taking the job in the Netherlands…
Balls. Balls? Balls!
Huh? Oh, PRESENT!
You can thank my colon and asshole for my presence. And last night’s beer/pizza.
Man, it’s still fucking dark out!
the older one gets, the less one will have chance to THANK one’s colon. Treasure this time!
get your cocks out to remember Dead Spanoi!!
I have been up since 440 MT I am jacked for this shit!
Holy shit…I think I can actually watch the game on the telly! BBC 2 is at least showing the pregame show.
the only two bets I still have alive from this terribad weekend are $70 on Jaguras (-4.5) and like $30 ML on Bills (+270 or so).
I woke up.
I got my chili in the instapot (slow cooker setting).
WHAT PART OF MANDATORY DON’T YOU LEFT COAST SHITS UNDERSTAND??
/time to shower, get into Everton-acceptable clothing
//they will be streaming alongside MANDATORY teevee
Wooooo!!!!!!
I’m doing Beef/Vegetable soup in mine today.
It’s too early for this shite.
Also, what’s the o/u on how many women Rivers has impregnated in the UK so far?
http://www.cc.com/video-clips/1gonk2/the-daily-show-with-jon-stewart-prince-charles-scandal
Fiddle-dee-dee! Melvin Gordon won’t be playing, and I have Bolts -6.5 in the first leg of my parlay.
Also, how can a guy get fined $112K in a game and not even be ejected from it?
against a side with Most Favoured Nation status!
/everybody aboard the FUCK YINZBURGH train