Your “London’s Best On Offer” Sunday Morning NFL Football

I hope that them damn west coasters are gonna do their part this, the most holy of football-watching weeks. Those of us occupying the eastern standard time zone have already been up for quite some time. We’ve been saying our prayers and helping little persons cross dangerous intersections all the morning long. Let’s check in with our emotionally-distant cousins, shall we?

US: [rings all the west coast]

WC: [message clicks] “We’re still snoozing in our hyperbaric chamber at the moment. Please call back in several hours. Preferably after we’ve enjoyed a lazy brunch of braised alpaca tenderloin with over-medium, soy-infused Great Speckled Condor eggs. It’s the latest thing. You wouldn’t know anything about it-”

US: Jesus Christ we get it-

WC: [message continues] “I wasn’t finished. Wish you wouldn’t interrupt like that. As I was saying-”

US: [hangs up]

Yep, business as usual for the westie brethren TO THE GAME!

Titans/Chargers:

LA will be without de Bosa and rb Gordon and on the surface that shouldn’t be an issue against a lost-two-in-a-row and fading Tennessee squadoo. After all, Rivers is playing at a fantastic level at the moment-he’s getting the ball out quicker than every other qb so far at 2.4 seconds. He’s only thrown 3 intercepts so far (one of which bounced off the hands of Gordon into a defender’s) and has been sacked only 7 times. Hell, that’s 25 times less than he’s sacked Tiffany since the start of September! I was wondering why I bothered drafting such a putz in rb Henry and started doing a wee bit of homework. Both he and fellow back Lewis are averaging less than 3.5 yards per carry and it may be due to the fact that they’ve played 4 of the top 7 run D’s so far this year and haven’t faced an overall D that is outside the top 12. The Chargers less than vaunted defenders come in around the 20th mark . Is this the week that Henry unloads? If so, stand back-that stuff gets everywhere.

Get yer monocles out, dandies!

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yeah right

Six and a half points is a breeze, he said. Take the Chargers to cover, he said.

Shit.

Fronkenshteen

I bet them vs the spread when Gordon was only “dehydrated “. Fuck everything.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Col. Duke LaCross

After the penalty could they have just kicked an extra point from the 2? Or would they had to have gone back to the 15?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Aw Titans. It’s bounces like these that portend a 7-9 season for you rather than a 9-7 season.

Gratliff

ENtirely theoretical Chargers fans are livid right now.

EDIT: I hate when the joke in my head doesn’t match what actually happens.

fleshwound_NPG

Vrabel, further proof the Belichick Coaching Tree is the very, very worst.

JustStopDude

COngraduations Chargers…THIS IS YOUR SUPER BOWL!

Col. Duke LaCross

Exotic Smashmouf!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Anyone wanna explain that decision to me?

Gratliff

31 seconds on the clock. “WE WILL EXTEND THE GAME FOR ONE MORE PLAY. POSSIBLY A 31 SECOND PLAY”

Spanky Datass

Fuck you Shitty Clippers you no covering shit stains. Just lose outright. Fuck.

King Hippo

yes, they have forced me to close my money league fantasy side score window entirely, the jammy fucks

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Smart move taking the timeout to keep the clock at 0:35.

Gratliff

NAWT A TUDDY

Doktor Zymm

To be fair, I’m pretty sure we don’t get CBS on the west coast.

King Hippo

c’mon, strip sack TD!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

I thought LAC would be up 31-10 by now & id only have to worry about a back door cover by the tits. Aint gamblin’ a hoot?

King Hippo

hee hee!

Fronkenshteen

This has 23-20 bolts written AAAAALLLL over it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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There goes the money.

Beerguyrob

The local news just informed me that local punk legend Joey Shithead from DOA got elected to Burnaby city council last night

Fronkenshteen

THAT IS AMAZING!!!!?

King Hippo

FUCK. I realize I now officially like the stupid cat that my oldest kid has more or less dumped at my house. Fortunately, Kruger Adams (existing cat) has already come to same begrudging conclusion.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

5×5

theeWeeBabySeamus

My pain in the arse kitty came in and listened to music with me today. She likes music.

RHCP is her favorite (she likes Flea’s bass lines), but today it was The Who. Kitty has good taste.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rx6Zgz0TZuA

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She likes fleas?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Actually, no. She got a bad case a coupla years ago because one of my dumbass relatives brought their flea bitten mutt here on July 4th. Almost drove her batshit crazy. It would have driven me batshit crazy too, but I was already there by then.

Took almost a year to get it controlled.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The joke; it fail.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

NOONAN!

Fronkenshteen

Stop this fucking drive dammit!

King Hippo

COVER LIVES!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder if other schools (or maybe even pro teams) might start getting their own version of Purdue Cancer Guy in order to generate sympathy and ratings. Hell, as much as ABC milked it last night, they’re probably having meetings right now to scheme out how to infect fans with mortal diseases.

King Hippo

I’d pretend to have cancer if NC State would actually do sommet substantial!

Viva La Tabula Raza

I pretend to have morbid obesity to support my team, only problem is I’m not pretending and 75% of my fellow fans have it too so it doesn’t generate much sympathy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

U noe likey 34 pt losses?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That thing on your face could be a tumor.

King Hippo

ur lips 2 zuul’s ears!!

Gratliff

Whoa whoa whoa. That friended by god show is real? That is fucking awful.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

JESUS FUCKING H. CHRIST HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT??

JK; agreed.

Gratliff

I’m convinced the same company makes all the political graphics for both partiescomment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Quite the nuanced, detailed and unbiased guide.

Gratliff

In my mind, Kansas is littered with these with different PAC logos in the middle as everyone just nods at it and votes for the one they were voting for anyway

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes. Very few actually look at the consequences. Kansas is a great example.

herodotus450

If someday Obamacare is recognized as a “good thing” then you just know the republitards will go back to calling it the ACA and how brave it was for Boehner to approve of it.

Fronkenshteen

Catch?

King Hippo

There Is No Catch

Fronkenshteen

Jesus. Antonio Gates looks like Bernie Mac.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

He’s had to listen to Marmalard for a lotta years.

Fronkenshteen

What is a proper sacrifice to BOLTMAN? I require his services.

King Hippo

How much sinew you got lying around?

Fronkenshteen

Cord, cord & a half.

theeWeeBabySeamus

A certain Commander of the Low would appreciate it if you’d kill off one more of the Spanos clan.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And me and Fozz would be happy for you to take an Irsay out, as well.

Spur

Derrick Henry? Why is that name familiar?

Beerguyrob

“London Bridge? Reminds me of high school.”

— Brett Kavanaugh

litre_cola

FUCK YOU DERECK HENRY YOU FUCK. YOU HAVE BEEN KING USELESS ALL FUCKING YEAR.

JustStopDude

I almost want to go down to the hotel bar and ask them to change the tv to the NFL game.

It would piss off everyone, but I have been staying here for like 3 weeks, so I think they would do it for me since I am a cash cow for the hotel.

JustStopDude

So is Mariotta into bust territory yet? It seems like he holds onto the ball and gives up easy sacks. But in his defense, his O-lone is suspect and they don’t seem to have anything in the way of reliable targets for him.

Is he regressing? It seems to me like he is really regressing.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Has he changed all that much? He seems like he’s a perpetual 7-9 to 9-7 guy.

blaxabbath

So TEN to sign both Mariota and Fischer to lifetime contracts?

JustStopDude

Fischer can’t get another contract ever again right? I mean LA’s turnaround has to show he was totally inept…

Oh wait…he is a gruff, no nonsense white guy. He will get a job next season…

JustStopDude

I mean its super hard to tell. It just seems like he is a bit gun shy. Like he is terrified of making a mistake and it didn’t seem like his first season.

I don’t think he has a decent supporting cast at all. I also think he hasn’t had the best offensive coordinators.

yeah right

It’s known as the Tannehill corollary.

blaxabbath

Will TEN resign Mariota or let him walk?

Spur

let him walk and Cowboys need to jump on that. Force Dak to perform or hit the bench.

JustStopDude

I keep thinking its halftime because of the lack of commercials. Its exhausting because I keep thinking the game is almost over.

theeWeeBabySeamus

If Tennessee doesn’t score here, it pretty much is.

Gratliff

How the hell does CBS have two games between NFC teams today? Did they restructure the broadcasting rights again?

King Hippo

they call it “Cross Flexing”

Gratliff

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King Hippo

I need to send this pic to the guy in my money league who is playing as Hot Jesus

Beerguyrob

Because they lost the Chiefs game to the flex.

Horatio Cornblower

Very excited I dropped Mike Williams this week in a desperate attempt to actually have two RBs this week.

Very, very excited.

Fronkenshteen

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

oh u noe Fronk gon’ drank

Gratliff

Carolina vs. Philly today is the national early game. Owns so much living in the 5 square blocks area that’s getting Detroit-Miami instead.

Beerguyrob

Titans also playing like the Argos.

blaxabbath

Is Arians calling this?

Beerguyrob

Bruce Arians looks like the kid at church who doesn’t like wearing his Sunday suit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Question to ponder: Does Trent Green know what country he’s in?

King Hippo

Who’s Trent Green?

Beerguyrob

Only after he wakes up in hospital because he looked the wrong way crossing the street.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I sincerely hope they don’t let him drive over there.

Fronkenshteen

Please Marmalard. Just this once. For me; not at me. Do that thing you do with the LONG completions for the entire second half. Please. I swear I’ll watch the CBS premier of “God Friended Me”.

King Hippo

pray FOAR multiple D/ST scores instead! It’s still a cover!!

Horatio Cornblower

NCIS: Great Lakes

herodotus450

The searches all say they’d have made Whitefish Bay
If they’d put fifteen more miles behind her

Beerguyrob

Are we not going to discuss how Tennessee is dressed like the Toronto Argonauts?

King Hippo

DonT is smoking heavily enough!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hahahahaha….OK, now that was fucking funny.

King Hippo

Also, Palace wearing their banana kit today, tis a true affront to God and man

King Hippo

Here come the Mighty Blues out the tunnel!!

blaxabbath

Damn I hope I hope i get RAMMIT v 49ers pm slot on CBS.

Spur

trade you if you got the Dallas game.

JustStopDude

My favorite art piece in the Netherlands is actually two pieces. Father and son paintings.

Here is the father…
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Very rich trader. Well respected in Amsterdam. Head of one of the most powerful families. He made his fortune overseas and then came back to the Netherlands. He ruled it as a merchant during the height of the Golden Age of the Dutch. Here is the description of the son’s painting. None of this is made up by me.

“Like his father, the twenty-year old Gerald Bicker is portrayed as self-assured, his arm akimbo. The striking differences in the garments won by father and son confirm they are from different generations. While his father Andries is dressed in dignified clothing with an old-fashioned ruff, Gerald wears a colourful and showy outfit with flat collar and elegant gloves. Gerard was not awarded any key administrative positions in Amsterdam and the family quickly fell into poverty under his leadership upon the death of his father”

So keep that information in mind and now…here is the kid’s portrait.
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So basically, the movie “Tommy Boy” is based on a real story, only it doesn’t have a happy ending and it occurred in like the 18th century. Kids have been disappointments to their families for centuries.

Horatio Cornblower

I very much disagree that this story doesn’t have a happy ending.

herodotus450

He made his fortune overseas and then came back to the Netherlands.

Absentee fatherhood also been around for centuries it seems.

JustStopDude

Judging by the dates on the paintings and the age of the people in them, I am fairly confident that the dad didn’t get married and have kids until after he came back from the Dutch East Indies. This was typical for Dutch culture. If someone was married with kids and they went to the colonies, they took their families with them. But the voyage was so dangerous and the condition were so brutal, that typically it was single men that went overseas.