Your “The Purge Has Begun” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Ye olde Jizziants have begun the housecleaning and who knows where it shall end. When The Wreck of The Ereck Flowers was jettisoned the initial reaction was, ‘hey, someone in management finally watched some game tape!” and did what anyone would do. But lo, next to go was the Apple of ex-GM Jerry Reese’s eye. Kinda surprising given that the Giants have maintained that the secondary is thin as far as footballers go. But they get a fourth rounder next year. (and a 7th in a year after) The news that Damon “Snacks” Harrison was unloaded for a fifth a fifth!!!! has made it clear that everyone, new kids and old, are on the block. Next to go should be Jackrabbit Jenkins and the 62 million albatrosses counted against the salary cap. See ya. Another team apparently doing the same thing are the Raiders. Rumors abound that Gruden has ‘lost the room’ so he’s going to go out and get himself a whole new room. E.M Forster is hoping it has a view.

TO THE GAME!

Doll Fingers/Tex Ands:

Miami’s hot 3-0 start fooled exactly zero watchers of football. They now sit at 4-3 and should get back into their usual comfy .500 spot a few hours from now. This may be the last time you see Frank Gore and his leather helmet on national tv so give that old war horse and his 4.6 ypc average (!!!) a respectful salute, would ya? Burp Osweiler is slinging the ball at a rate of 8.2 ypa and has a 6/2 TD/Intercept stat but much like avid bingo players, the dozen or so followers of his career have seen this B4. Look for Houston’s OC/qb Watson to target some corner by the name of Torry McTyer. “Who?”, you say. Why that’s the corner that has given up 12 passes for an average of 18+ yards per and has a passes defended success rate of 25%. Oik!, I say.

Wipe down your monitors, there’s work to do.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Subscribe
Notify of
429 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Sharkbait

It’s been 4 days with this sling, and its already pissing me off

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Spur

pump off with the left

King Hippo

you fucking Millenials will take away mah cable when I’m cold and ded, NAWT one second sooner

Sharkbait

This kind unfortunately. Six fucking weeks.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

King Hippo

ahhhhhh, my memory is shit

Mr. Ayo

Has the wife been helpful?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Sharkbait

Very. So that helps.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image?w=700

Spur

+432y234789234 gay conversion

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

JustStopDude

Oh thank you Jesus, I figured out how to get the Spanish and the UK English audio feed. No more Troy and Buck.

Thank you Amazon Prime.

King Hippo

wow, so Appy State didn’t belong in the Top 25 after all? Knock me over with a feather…

Spur

The South always talks big but the North puts them down.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

litre_cola

Tell me about it – Johnny Marr

Spur

comment image

Spur

Fat Jonah Hill is best Jonah Hill

Spur

For Gratliffcomment image

Spur

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Gratliff

comment imagecomment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Gatoraids

this is more soul calibur than red dead

Game Time Decision

abs
Buns
Taint Of steel

Petronel

Possibly clever timing if everybody’s still waiting for the game to finish installing on Sunday.

Romonobyl

Anybody know if the good Doktor is in the DC area? I figure if I’m gonna be in town I’d buy her an adult beverage of her choice.

blaxabbath

Ask her about zeke.

Spur

I thought Herr Doktor was was in the Bay Area?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She move to SF; get on the plane.

blaxabbath

How the hell can they attack the crew for playing out the clock? Of all things to ignore, you can’t go “it was just gonna be a kneel.” You gotta fucking snap the ball. What’s the rush, Troy? So we can get to another one of your stupid fucking Tide commercials? Fuck Tide and fuck you, Troy and Buck!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

True dat.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I think we’ve reached peak officiating ridiculousness here.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

JFC

Spur

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

Thank you for your service, Coach Ryan

Unsurprised

And now you can see the redhead getting eaten out by female porn stars on Snapchat.

Romonobyl

Pretty crappy officiating thus far.

Spur

tomorrow is Nevada Day. Am off work. Let’s get shitfaced!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

/Warms up the tuna fishing trawler

litre_cola

This was perfect.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s Mike Pence in the costume, right?

Viva La Tabula Raza

So, San Antonio, Houston, and Dallas papers have all endorsed Beto O’Rourke over Ted Cruz for Senator. Not that it matters, most Texans who vote don’t know how to read anyway.

blaxabbath

The south is a strange strange place.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Media is the enemy of the people.

The Russians are just trying to help.

Spur

Gerrymander much?

Romonobyl

I choose C: None of the above.

King Hippo

I have voted FOAR my cat(s) before, and likely will do so again in the future.

blaxabbath

Look at Brock’s face on this hit. With that grimace, I bet the locker room calls him soft and he loses them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“We’ve lost the locker room.”

-Porn movie director after production ran out of money

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Spur

Evening Folks!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Game Time Decision

Banana fetish tonight?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

comment image?w=900&h=900&p=0

blaxabbath

Is the NFL sending Troy and Buck at the refs as some payback for being too to-the-letter?

Gatoraids

she was fumblin brockoli, fumblin brocklooow, fumblin brockoleeee, fumbling brockolaaaaa

blaxabbath

That was so a fumble.

Brock Osweiler is the elephant trunk without the elephant.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Arm going forward.

Edit: Or not…

Edit: god damn

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Romonobyl

So who’s looking to see the new Queen movie?

King Hippo

Depends. How much AIDS is in it ,, smgdh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Who wants to buy a truck that ejects you from the cab and drives off by itself?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Unsurprised

Not for me, but there are lots of people who should be gifted them.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

herodotus450

comment image

Gratliff

Since I’m sure there are uninitiated around here yet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7mt8I6cvFsM

Viva La Tabula Raza

Man, those are some bitter lemons.

blaxabbath

Don’t know what channel this is but Andy richter just beat down a guy in a kitchen on a episode of Monk (I think).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Romonobyl

NOW WITH EXTRA SODIUM!!!!

blackroseMD1

I’d give it a shot, but I’ve heard it tastes funny.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good…….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It amazes me that there was a three-year stretch when the Rams only won six games. That feat becomes more believable when you learn that the Rams franchise started out in Cleveland, though.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

blaxabbath

HOU is always like a good team. They got a good D, good receivers, oftentimes a decent QB, and usually a RB who isn’t a turnover machine. But you never REALLY take them seriously (except that one year).

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

You mean that Halloween when we told some seriously spooky stories about them?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Petronel

“Vajazzling? And I thought I was evil.”

Romonobyl

Guess who’s going to the Smithsonian Air ‘n Space museum Saturday? Dis muddapucker!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Gonna see some J-E-T-S…JETS JETS JETS!

Romonobyl

ALL teh jests!

Viva La Tabula Raza

If’n you get an opportunity, check out the Annex out at Dulles. Lots of cool shit there too.

herodotus450

Superior stuff, even. And fewer kids running around.

Romonobyl

Gonna try to squeeze that in on Sunday. My sis-in-law lives in Alexandria so I have a place to crash.

Viva La Tabula Raza

You’ll be glad you made the effort.

Game Time Decision

So very jealous. Enjoy

Brick Meathook

I grew up in that museum, even before the current building opened in 1976. The Apollo exhibit hall is my favorite, but they’re all great. The annex at Dulles is huge.

Romonobyl

Have you been to the Air Force museum in Dayton? Unbelievable…

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’ve got a couple construction projects at Wright Patterson, whenever I have to travel up there I always slip in an extra day to visit the AF museum. Still haven’t seen everything, and then they opened another hangar.

Romonobyl

They also have an annex, but it’s inside the fence so you need military creds to get there. Lots of great stuff and no crowds.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Not anymore. All the planes on base have been moved out to the new hangar. All the Air Force Ones as well as the experimental planes, including the remaining XB-70. One of my renovation project is Hangar 6 in area B, which used to house those planes. Gonna turn it into office space.

Romonobyl

Oh yeah, it was a few years ago when I went and they were still building the new facility. That XB-70 is YUUUUUGE!

Viva La Tabula Raza

It’s phenomenal. Although it isn’t really as big, it overwhelms even more than the Shuttle at the Dulles annex.

Brick Meathook

Never been to Dayton, but Pima Arizona has a great one. Across the street from the Davis-Montham boneyard.

Romonobyl

Went there about 25 years ago…the X-15 on display was still warm.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Pima is right up there. I visited that one a few times a while back when I PM’d a project at the AMARG at Davis Monthan, built a hangar that could fit 2 KC-135s side by side with hangar doors closed. It was pretty fucking huge. Pima has a deal where civilians can take a bus tour of the boneyard.

blaxabbath

It’s funny how much people love that boneyard in Tucson. I realized a lot people didn’t know they also have JFKs AF1.

Petronel

Whenever we go, we make sure to find the moon rock display. They’ve moved it away from the front door, but we still go give it a little love each time. (Kind of a Laverne and Shirley sort of ritual.)

Gratliff

Got my RDR2 from Best Buy already and it’s got two fucking discs in the year of our lord 2018. SO MUCH INSTALLING.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7IkvAb6THQY

Gratliff

First disc install is 89 GB sweet jesus

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Godspeed to ye

Petronel

Nothing to do but wait.

comment image

Gratliff

I woke up early one day and beat MGS4 for the first time 2 hours before work. I got in late because I waited for the last credits to roll.

Petronel

Yeah…it’s a good hour-plus. I timed it once from last input to title screen – forget just how long it is, but it’s a LONG time.

blackroseMD1

I’m sitting here watching TNF hoping that it’ll last long enough for RDR2 to unlock at 9.

Brick Meathook

comment image?ssl=1

Romonobyl

Good thing he didn’t have some jacks and a lug wrench.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Or a slim jim

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is the kind of video that gets city council members in states like, say, Minnesota in trouble for sharing on social media with super racist hashtags.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Ugh… don’t remind me.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Why yes, I *was* thinking of Michelle Bachman when I wrote that!

Brick Meathook

Fuck those people. I’m totally rooting for the monkey.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They are happy tho.

comment image

King Hippo

don’t insinuate that Watt motherfucker is better than Von, you whitebread piece of shit

the Alpha and the Amoeba

He probably farts less

King Hippo

his farts smell liek FREEDOM!!!11

Romonobyl

Freedom and Gofundme pages.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

That was actually rather distressing. How many drinks do you think I can get away with in the name of “calming my nerves”?

King Hippo

if your wife loves you, as many as you want!

/probably 2 before the snide remarks start

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

My opponent has Hopkins so that was a perfectly cromulent result.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

My opponent has Keitel. This celebrity death pool is fun.

King Hippo

Not HopkinsDOWN. Fuck right off

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

TICK TOCK CLARICE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not stoned enough to laugh at that the way I did.

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Do you happen to have HOU kicker too? If you do we may be mortal enemies!

King Hippo

nah, I got Greg the Leg off waivers in both leagues

Teddy's Bridge Over Troubled Water

Quality choice. He broke the kicking record in our league last year in only ten games.

litre_cola

I really needed this game to end 0-0 with no turnovers.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least you were going with the odds.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Brockerception!!!

King Hippo

Donks WOO!! folk nod with recognition

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

No syringe or spoon? What a ripoff.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That and the “Kid’s Whiskey” are extra, PAL.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Don’t call be PAL, BUDDY.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I see Brian Jones represented there, package should include one of these:
comment image?c=2&imbypass=on

Viva La Tabula Raza

Be more useful if Levi’s would flash some shots of the currently-active prominent voter suppression personalities in that ad.

jjfozz

I watched The Devil last night, the one produced by M Knight Shamahlamahdingdong.

I accept suspending disbelief, but it still sucked hairy ass.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That it did.

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The preview for his new one – Mr. Glass – looked neat.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s swell.

jjfozz

World Series? Never heard of it. Must be some hipster band.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I just full-on wiped out while filling the kettle to make myself a cup of tea. And I’m not even drunk! What am I, eighty?

King Hippo

#ItGetsWorse

/also maybe u just have MS?

jjfozz

You’re drinking tea, so I’m thinking you slipped on a bunch of dildos and KY jelly. Get it? YOU’RE GAY CAUSE YOU DRINK TEA!

HAR HAR HAR

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I have dildoes and ky-jelly all over the place! I run an online store for closeted Evangelical men tho

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Viva La Tabula Raza

Time to get one of them First Alert thingies.

blaxabbath

MS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

litre_cola

Deandre Hopkins, real good with shitty qb’s.