Your “The Purge Has Begun” Thursday Night NFL Football Open Thread

Ye olde Jizziants have begun the housecleaning and who knows where it shall end. When The Wreck of The Ereck Flowers was jettisoned the initial reaction was, ‘hey, someone in management finally watched some game tape!” and did what anyone would do. But lo, next to go was the Apple of ex-GM Jerry Reese’s eye. Kinda surprising given that the Giants have maintained that the secondary is thin as far as footballers go. But they get a fourth rounder next year. (and a 7th in a year after) The news that Damon “Snacks” Harrison was unloaded for a fifth a fifth!!!! has made it clear that everyone, new kids and old, are on the block. Next to go should be Jackrabbit Jenkins and the 62 million albatrosses counted against the salary cap. See ya. Another team apparently doing the same thing are the Raiders. Rumors abound that Gruden has ‘lost the room’ so he’s going to go out and get himself a whole new room. E.M Forster is hoping it has a view.

TO THE GAME!

Doll Fingers/Tex Ands:

Miami’s hot 3-0 start fooled exactly zero watchers of football. They now sit at 4-3 and should get back into their usual comfy .500 spot a few hours from now. This may be the last time you see Frank Gore and his leather helmet on national tv so give that old war horse and his 4.6 ypc average (!!!) a respectful salute, would ya? Burp Osweiler is slinging the ball at a rate of 8.2 ypa and has a 6/2 TD/Intercept stat but much like avid bingo players, the dozen or so followers of his career have seen this B4. Look for Houston’s OC/qb Watson to target some corner by the name of Torry McTyer. “Who?”, you say. Why that’s the corner that has given up 12 passes for an average of 18+ yards per and has a passes defended success rate of 25%. Oik!, I say.

Wipe down your monitors, there’s work to do.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Hope Pats are polite enough to send Texans a thank you note for gifting them two game lead for 1st place in the AFC East.

Senor Weaselo

Ron Howard: They weren’t.

blaxabbath

they’ll mail em a cutout of Alex Guerrero whose eyes are spying on the Texans locker room.

blaxabbath

I like this year’s sideline hats.

blaxabbath

THIS BROCK OSWEILER I CALL HIM THE PERFECT HALLOWWEEN DECORATION BECAUSE HES A FREAK THAT’S BASICALLY USELESS BUT FOR ONE NIGHT A YEAR.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’d really like to dickpunch that Verizon guy.

blaxabbath

Give me him, Chevy guy, and a couple yards of rope.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Rope, huh?
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Senor Weaselo

THIS BLAXABBATH I CALL HIM CANDLEJACK BECAUSE HE’S GONNA NEED M—

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

I didn’t know Hitachi’s had attachments.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I mean their owners tend to be pretty attached to them. I’m not sure it’s reciprocated, though.

Brick Meathook

Bronson is wondering where the bullets come out.

Gratliff

It looks better in game than it did in the commercials.
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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

LOLfins need a new defense.

Spur

Fatty comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

I could hear my neighbor down the hall watching the game and I wasn’t even tempted to put it on

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

My wife is watching This is Us and I’m not even tempted to watch a muted stream of the game on the laptop.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It’s actually entertaining.

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Reinforcing the stereotype…typical.

Gratliff

AW YEAH BABY COWBOY UP *checks out of life*

Viva La Tabula Raza

This seems to be another of those Thursday games that doesn’t end up being too boring or horrible.

Spur

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Sharkbait

What the hell was that?

Mr. Ayo

Bump, set, catch.

ballsofsteelandfury

A metaphor for my sex life.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well science says so.

litre_cola

As long as it isn’t Hopkins all is good. In that shithouse division the 500s will win

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Close game now.

Mr. Ayo

That wasn’t going to last.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

why am I rooting for Miami?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttps://66.media.tumblr.com/0099f8aa94d5e0de1748121b6060506d/tumblr_pdh335x78n1ue6sv7o1_1280.jpg

Spur

am not that flexible

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can’t draw?

litre_cola

My opponent has Drake in my $$$ league because of course he does.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

God hates you

litre_cola

Oh I am aware.

Viva La Tabula Raza

That was pretty fun to watch.

Spur

– Christy Brown

Col. Duke LaCross

Amendola was more accurate with that throw than pretty much any Osweiler pass so far.

Mr. Ayo

DOLADOWN!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

State Farm paid for the “aerial coverage” of a domed sporting event….I don’t think I want to trust them with my homeowner’s insurance…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Just watch it
h
ttps://thumbs.gfycat.com/AncientChiefBarebirdbat-size_restricted.gif

Romonobyl

First scrote-catch of the 2018-2019 season.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Why thank you.

litre_cola

That was an incredible catch.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Don’t think I’ve seen anything quite like that.

King Hippo

if he was on DAL, PIT, or one of the NY teams, he would be all anyone in the sports media ever talked about.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Now with Cadmium!

Sharkbait

That catch should negate any OPI

King Hippo

no shit!

Romonobyl

Did you know that PETA’s HQ is right here in Norfolk? Saw it during a boat tour, then went to a sports bar and engulfed a basket of wings in their honor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

And spent the same amount as they do actually helping animals.

Romonobyl

Considering the size of their office building, you speak the truth.

Viva La Tabula Raza

They’re “People FOR The Ethical Treatment of Animals”, not “People Who Will Actually Do Anything About It.”

JustStopDude

They regularly dump the carcasses of dogs idiot people donate to the (stupidly thinking PETA will rehouse them) illegally into dumpsters around town.

I’m not even making a joke here. They get caught doing it all the time because they don’t want to pay a company to properly handle and process the animal bodies.

Spur

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Spur

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WCS

WVU does just enough to get by Baylor, 58-14. Let’s check the Ice Stillers game… 6-0 Pens? Time to drank, drank, drank.

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

the most disturbing part is the burgeoning erection in his khakis

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Disturbing?

Romonobyl

That stain tho…

Redshirt

Don’t worry. One muscle spasm during a swing will take care of that.

Spur

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herodotus450
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

Ace and Gary?

King Hippo

I guess PETA got to Richard Gere about using gerbils??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Needs one of these, with the Neolithic version shown above to the left, a blow up doll somewhere in the middle, and a Fleshlight at far right.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Australopithecus; always a fucking critic.

Spur

Bipedal ass is hot

Unsurprised

I miss summer
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King Hippo

HOPKINS IS ALWAYS OPEN, ASSHOLES

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Romonobyl

I was all in until I saw the bench limitation, I even had the Gatorade.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Don’t be so squeamish about oral.

Spur

did he get to 2nd base?

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Something something “Contra code”…