Ye olde Jizziants have begun the housecleaning and who knows where it shall end. When The Wreck of The Ereck Flowers was jettisoned the initial reaction was, ‘hey, someone in management finally watched some game tape!” and did what anyone would do. But lo, next to go was the Apple of ex-GM Jerry Reese’s eye. Kinda surprising given that the Giants have maintained that the secondary is thin as far as footballers go. But they get a fourth rounder next year. (and a 7th in a year after) The news that Damon “Snacks” Harrison was unloaded for a fifth a fifth!!!! has made it clear that everyone, new kids and old, are on the block. Next to go should be Jackrabbit Jenkins and the 62 million albatrosses counted against the salary cap. See ya. Another team apparently doing the same thing are the Raiders. Rumors abound that Gruden has ‘lost the room’ so he’s going to go out and get himself a whole new room. E.M Forster is hoping it has a view.
TO THE GAME!
Doll Fingers/Tex Ands:
Miami’s hot 3-0 start fooled exactly zero watchers of football. They now sit at 4-3 and should get back into their usual comfy .500 spot a few hours from now. This may be the last time you see Frank Gore and his leather helmet on national tv so give that old war horse and his 4.6 ypc average (!!!) a respectful salute, would ya? Burp Osweiler is slinging the ball at a rate of 8.2 ypa and has a 6/2 TD/Intercept stat but much like avid bingo players, the dozen or so followers of his career have seen this B4. Look for Houston’s OC/qb Watson to target some corner by the name of Torry McTyer. “Who?”, you say. Why that’s the corner that has given up 12 passes for an average of 18+ yards per and has a passes defended success rate of 25%. Oik!, I say.
Wipe down your monitors, there’s work to do.
Hope Pats are polite enough to send Texans a thank you note for gifting them two game lead for 1st place in the AFC East.
Ron Howard: They weren’t.
they’ll mail em a cutout of Alex Guerrero whose eyes are spying on the Texans locker room.
I like this year’s sideline hats.
THIS BROCK OSWEILER I CALL HIM THE PERFECT HALLOWWEEN DECORATION BECAUSE HES A FREAK THAT’S BASICALLY USELESS BUT FOR ONE NIGHT A YEAR.
I’d really like to dickpunch that Verizon guy.
Give me him, Chevy guy, and a couple yards of rope.
Rope, huh?
THIS BLAXABBATH I CALL HIM CANDLEJACK BECAUSE HE’S GONNA NEED M—
I didn’t know Hitachi’s had attachments.
I mean their owners tend to be pretty attached to them. I’m not sure it’s reciprocated, though.
Bronson is wondering where the bullets come out.
It looks better in game than it did in the commercials.
LOLfins need a new defense.
Fatty
I could hear my neighbor down the hall watching the game and I wasn’t even tempted to put it on
My wife is watching This is Us and I’m not even tempted to watch a muted stream of the game on the laptop.
It’s actually entertaining.
Reinforcing the stereotype…typical.
AW YEAH BABY COWBOY UP *checks out of life*
This seems to be another of those Thursday games that doesn’t end up being too boring or horrible.
What the hell was that?
Bump, set, catch.
A metaphor for my sex life.
Well science says so.
As long as it isn’t Hopkins all is good. In that shithouse division the 500s will win
Close game now.
That wasn’t going to last.
why am I rooting for Miami?
h
ttps://66.media.tumblr.com/0099f8aa94d5e0de1748121b6060506d/tumblr_pdh335x78n1ue6sv7o1_1280.jpg
am not that flexible
You can’t draw?
My opponent has Drake in my $$$ league because of course he does.
God hates you
Oh I am aware.
That was pretty fun to watch.
– Christy Brown
Amendola was more accurate with that throw than pretty much any Osweiler pass so far.
DOLADOWN!
State Farm paid for the “aerial coverage” of a domed sporting event….I don’t think I want to trust them with my homeowner’s insurance…
Just watch it
h
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First scrote-catch of the 2018-2019 season.
Why thank you.
That was an incredible catch.
Don’t think I’ve seen anything quite like that.
if he was on DAL, PIT, or one of the NY teams, he would be all anyone in the sports media ever talked about.
Now with Cadmium!
That catch should negate any OPI
no shit!
Did you know that PETA’s HQ is right here in Norfolk? Saw it during a boat tour, then went to a sports bar and engulfed a basket of wings in their honor.
And spent the same amount as they do actually helping animals.
Considering the size of their office building, you speak the truth.
They’re “People FOR The Ethical Treatment of Animals”, not “People Who Will Actually Do Anything About It.”
They regularly dump the carcasses of dogs idiot people donate to the (stupidly thinking PETA will rehouse them) illegally into dumpsters around town.
I’m not even making a joke here. They get caught doing it all the time because they don’t want to pay a company to properly handle and process the animal bodies.
WVU does just enough to get by Baylor, 58-14. Let’s check the Ice Stillers game… 6-0 Pens? Time to drank, drank, drank.
the most disturbing part is the burgeoning erection in his khakis
Disturbing?
That stain tho…
Don’t worry. One muscle spasm during a swing will take care of that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BDksqGudw3k
Ace and Gary?
I guess PETA got to Richard Gere about using gerbils??
Needs one of these, with the Neolithic version shown above to the left, a blow up doll somewhere in the middle, and a Fleshlight at far right.
Australopithecus; always a fucking critic.
Bipedal ass is hot
I miss summer
HOPKINS IS ALWAYS OPEN, ASSHOLES
I was all in until I saw the bench limitation, I even had the Gatorade.
Don’t be so squeamish about oral.
did he get to 2nd base?
Something something “Contra code”…