Your “I MUST HAVE IT!” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

[looks at entire slate of games] “Jesus! I guess the bye weeks are all over and done with.”

Shall we? TO THE GAMES!

Bal/Atl:

On the outside looking in it appears that the Falcons have had a disappointing year as they sit at 4-7. However it’s important to note that 6 starters have been sent to the IR. There’s only so many times you can yell, ‘next man up!’.

Den/Cincy:

Who has two working thumbs and is starting for the Bengalis? Not Dandy Andy Dalton, that’s for sure. Third year fella Jeff Driskell out of Florida or Louisiana Tech or both gets the start. What does he bring to the table for the last five games of the year? He can run on designed plays or to escape pressure and according to one observer, is willing to throw the old pig bladder into risky spots that Dalton wouldn’t dare consider. That might be fun to watch or he might go down in flames against a D the likes of the Broncos.

LAR/Det:

Tate is gone and Jones is out so Golladay gets to go up against a returning Aquib Talib. Ouch. Speaking of cb’s, the Lions Teez Tabor is the 114th ranked guy at his position so feel free to start Woods or Reynolds if you have them.

Ari/GB:

This is the kind of blah game that not even Rodgers can make watchable. Much like him, I’ll pass.

Buf/Mia:

The starting qb’s in this one have a combined 9/9 TD/Int. ratio. The starting rb’s have a combined 2 TD’s. The top receivers for each team have totaled 862 yards and 3 six-pointers. No thanks.

Chi/NYG:

Truth Biscuit was throwing this week but you don’t need that much to get the W vs. the Giants so we’ll be treated to at least one more Chase Daniel Experience.

Car/TB:

If you throw out the first 4 weeks of the season when he was finding his footing, the first wr selected this year in the draft has put up some quality numbers. D.J. Moore leads all rooks in yards after catch, yards after contact and yards per catch.

Indy/Jax:

The Colts have put together 5 straight W’s and are ready to take on Tom Coughlin’s Unguents. Man, Jax is in a lousy free fall, aren’t they?-Fournette is suspended for this one and is definitely unhappy. Norwell, their best lineman is on the IR and the team is moving on from Bortles. Here’s your (second? third?) chance, Kessler.

Cle/Hou:

Is this here a trap game? Them Brownies have all those young playmakers at the skill positions and sport a league-leading +14 turnover differential with 27 in total.

Talk away.

 

Please Login to comment
198 Comment threads
245 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
32 Comment authors
Inanimate Carbon Rod MarinelliBrockyDon TCol. Duke LaCrossSenor Weaselo Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

GODDAMN IT ELI THROW A CRIPPLING INT YOU DOPEY FUCK

Brocky

I nearly fainted

Col. Duke LaCross

The Annexation of Puerto Rico!

Don T

NEVE—oh wait.
Coolness.
/spits toward sidewalj

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

HOW DOES THIS TEAM NOT LOSE

Petronel

TRICKERATION agin

Spur
Spur

no good!!!!!!!!!!!! LOL. Suck it Rodgers!

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

–Blair Walsh

Sharkbait

Giants gonna giant

Senor Weaselo

Howard Cross’s reactions are fantastic.

Spur
Spur

Cowboys still won this week. Any loses by Green Bay, Steelers, Pats, Philly or Seattle is a bonus.

yeah right

Go Birdcano!

Spur
Spur

the Bucs have Cam’s number.

blaxabbath

1.

Even Jameis knows that number.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

69

blaxabbath

Time for some Mike McCarthy Magic!

Redshirt

BRING BACK DAVE SHULA!

Redshirt

Cincinnati really needs to fire this new Defensive Coordinator.

Brocky

You know we could call this a trap game but fuck If I dont wanna blame the refs and nagy more than anything else

blaxabbath
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

No surprise that the NFL loves to wash the dead balls of a traitor and war criminal.

Redshirt

What did HW do?

blaxabbath

Fitz is an absolute beast.

Redshirt

If the NFL is going to outlaw hits to receivers to separate them from the ball, they should go back through the games and throw out from the Hall of Fame all the safeties, linebackers and cornerbacks who make a career being hardhitters and headhunters.

blaxabbath

Can’t rewrite history. MOAR CONFEDERATE STATUES NEEDED!

Col. Duke LaCross

Fuck this game with a rusty barbed-wire wrapped pool cue.

blaxabbath

I see you have any AM game on.

blaxabbath

Feels like GB can’t decide if they’re ready to throw away the rest of the season or actually bear down and try to win-out.

yeah right

Please let it be the former.

hippofant
hippofant

I have been watching RedZone all day and legitimately did not know the Dolphins and Bills were playing.

The Maestro

Neither did they.

The Maestro

Saquon ded?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

He had a good run this year

Redshirt

The Bengals performance motivated me to clean up my family’s cat shit box. I see the Bengals still haven’t done that.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

1. I may be drunk.

2. Okay. I’m drunk.

3. I told everyone the Bears would lay an egg against a terrible team this year.

4. Really though it would be the Bills.

blaxabbath

Come on. You’re putting your faith in a Mitch?

litre_cola

Sad Cam Newton, will he look like The Crow at his presser?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Even after he gets murdered on the field (no penalty!) his estate will be fined for some bullshit.

King Hippo

I would be very, very happy if tomorrow’s physical bloodwork showed I was dropping ded. But I never get a solid like that. Fuck everything.

blaxabbath

King HW Hippo?

Brocky

Hey, so remember on Thanksgiving when I said the joke if the bears defense scores a td my no nut November is over?

Is there like, a December version of that?

King Hippo

hold the phone, Donks can still fuck the chicken, without Beatie Mixon getting any fantasy points obvs

Redshirt

Come on, Denver. You know you want to.

comment image

blaxabbath

Edmonds missing the opportunity to celebrate Josh Rosen by using the ball as a prop in a dradle celebration.

King Hippo

David Johnson starting in BOTH my leagues. That is seriously what my day is.

blaxabbath

This coaching staff is hellbent on not utilizing Johnson appropriately.

King Hippo

Good on Lindsay there. At least one Bluth sibling came good today.

blaxabbath

in Rosen’s defense, someone mentioned the Fed might be raising rates as he broke into the open field there.

King Hippo

double fantasy loss, costing bye weeks in each. Only thing left is Donks gacking up their lead

blaxabbath

And Trump cracking down on opioids!

King Hippo

thanks, the Seppuku ledger just gets more and more unassailable

Sharkbait

Detroit fat guy down??

blaxabbath

He’s the quarterback.

blaxabbath

Aaron Rodgers agent seems like a dick.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

#ThePauls are back

blaxabbath

2020. You’ll see.

blaxabbath

I’ve been reading q anon tweets instead of really paying attention to GB/ARI.

I think this was the right move.

King Hippo

today is bad enough that I likely lose 2nd in total points prize money, too. THANKS, RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!

blaxabbath

They will also not be SB champs.

King Hippo

no, it will be goddamned Saints and P*ts

blaxabbath

HOU

rockingdog
rockingdog

RG3 is the QB now! whatever

Col. Duke LaCross

This is just like that fucking Miami game.

King Hippo

OF COURSE it’s OBJ, from the 1, godfuckingdamnit

Gratliff

Chicago really going to fuck this up, huh?

Sharkbait

Appears to be

King Hippo

allowing Balls to make maximum fun of me in the morning!

blaxabbath

I don’t get the love for CHI this year. They trailed ARI entering the 4th quarter BEFORE the Cards started making changes.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
welcome to backhanded compliment club, u look so good for being 40

King Hippo

this day can eat diseased rhinoceros dick

rockingdog
rockingdog

comment image

Doktor Zymm

Where the fuck is East Ruthorford? I don’t even know where regular Ruthorford is.

Sharkbait

Near Newark. You’ll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy

Doktor Zymm

AH. I’ve been to Ewwwark.