Your “Guess Which Games Count, Ha, Ha, Ha” Sunday NFL Football Open Thread

Let’s dig in right away shall we? I’m running late.

TO THE GAMES!

Bengalis/Brownies:

Cincy is without both wr’s Green and Boyd so if you’ve got notion to go in motion with Mixon, follow it through. Also, Cleveland have dramatically increased their Chubb usage (a bit too late, but whatever) so he’s a lovely play given that he tore the Bengalis a few new holes last time they played.

Buckos/Boys:

Go Tampa Bay! That’s probably the only time I’ve uttered those three words. Huh…

Vikes/Leonidas:

Striking a victory for fake history, I’m betting that Leif and his Lucky Bunch push the Maned Ones down the Well of Lost Seasons.

Giant Putzes/Horsemen:

Indy’s sackage percentages have gone through the roof lately and look, over there-it’s a wobbly old guy that has no lateral movement whatsoever! It was nice knowing Eli.*

*sentiment valid from 2007-2011 only

Crying Jags/No Porpoise:

I’m supposed to comment on this game? I’m going to have my lawyer pore over the details in my non-existent contract.

Overdue Bills/Rules Molesters:

It’s about time that we get to revel in the end of the line for Brady. Perhaps a heavy dose of Jerry Hughes and Company can hasten that inevitability? Asking for a friend, er, the universe.

Cheesemongers/Canceled Flights:

Winners get pizza, losers get mocked until Homer’s throat is sore.

Redundancies/SB Hangovers:

Not only do I not care about this game, I… Actually, I’ll just leave it at that.

The Undefensibles/Newton’s Void:

So much to not choose from here…

Good luck to those that are still fantasizing.

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Gratliff

Refs may get strung up in Philly after the last 2 minutes

litre_cola

That was complete horseshit.

Spur

Eagles can use the flags to line their nests.

litre_cola

Joke of a call. Thy may set Philly on fire.

Spur

Jaylon Smith is such a beast.

Romonobyl

Almost a safety, that’s the only thing DAL/TB is missing. That and flag-free drive.

King Hippo

I should be drawn and quartered for starting a Bills skill player in a FF final

Gratliff

REF FUCKERY IN FULL SWING

King Hippo

and don’t we P*ts haters LOVE IT

King Hippo

hilariously bad call, though

Spur

Rodgers trying to fight someone. They aint your family, these guys will fight back.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

DJ Moore, useless

King Hippo

RETURN OF TEH BORT!

Senor Weaselo

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King Hippo

just run out the half, Non-Gendered Cowpersons. All Hippo ask.

King Hippo

y’all suck

Horatio Cornblower

In a surprising twist, they were improving their field position by giving TB 3 chances to lose 8-9 yards.

Spur

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King Hippo

Who is Black Panther 3rd QB?

Spur

Jake Delhomme is back!

Mr. Ayo

Kyle Allen.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

T’Challa?

Gratliff

Bilbo Baggins if I remember the movie right

Gratliff

Vikings really gonna let the Lions papercut them out of the wild card, huh?

King Hippo

Dingleberry has 2 passing yards. TWO!

Senor Weaselo

Cousins’ shit is fucking me so hard that you could call me a German in West Virgina!

King Hippo

LOLDreamboat

The Maestro

Good Lord, Andre Roberts has some wheels.

Gratliff

The fuck was that?

Gratliff

Only took 40 plays to score in the red zone!

Senor Weaselo

So far I am regretting Hilton over Shepard. If Gurley ded so am I.

The Maestro

We’ve replaced the Philadelphia Eagles with the Washington [Redacteds]. Let’s see if anyone notices!

Spur

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rockingdog

I really hope I don’t regret benching james white for Doug Baldwin….
shit…..

Gratliff

fucking fucksticks what the fuck

Romonobyl

I guess I’ll be a fan of Oilers 2.0 for at least one day.

Spur

BS.

JJ Watt gets one free kill play each game for rebuilding Houston.

King Hippo

JJ Watt, fuckhead

Gratliff

Goeddert-Ertz is gonna be hateable as fuck in a few years, and I’m extremely here for it.

rockingdog

Foles to Sproles!
points for the Alliteration….

Romonobyl

Ummm…

Gratliff

Pretty much out of ways to show my love for Sproles.

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Horatio Cornblower

Just hold him closer.

Spur

Free Mike Evans.

Horatio Cornblower

Huh?
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Gratliff

Canadian dollar was strong that year

rockingdog

found a funny:

Someone in this world has consumed more mayonnaise than anyone else currently alive and they don’t even know it.

King Hippo

oh, Andy KNOWS

Game Time Decision

Gotta step up my game now that I have extra time
-Joe Flacco

Spur

my money is on someone in London.

Gratliff

Chekhov’s missed XP

Horatio Cornblower

Sean Lee is inactive not because Vander Esch has been so effective, but because Lee is being held together by duct tape and baling wire at this point.

Spur

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Game Time Decision

Interesting place for a fan or port

Horatio Cornblower

I know where I’d hide the Death Star plans with her, if you know what I mean!

I’d hide it in her closet. It’s a fucking mess. They’d never find it there.

Brick Meathook

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Gratliff

Guh

Spur

Can we please let the Browns into the playoffs?

Spur

C’mon Texas bros, kill the Eagles

entropy

I can’t get that lucky. There are a lot of very loud, annoying eagles fans nearby and I’d them to shut the fuck up

King Hippo

#ThePauls should borrow from the Boise playbook and play on a brown pitch. Just rip up the sod!

Spur

i like the Jaylon Smith and Vander Esch Combo
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZtiJN6yiik

Horatio Cornblower

They’re much better than that goddamn song, that’s for sure.

Gratliff

Good to see Tampa is doing shit fuck all to help

King Hippo

Went with Falcons’ D over Jest. OUCH

King Hippo

/circling teh wagons

The Maestro

The Cowboys did a… good? No, that can’t be right.

litre_cola

Jesus Christ, Jameis, do something that isn’t rapey, steal-y, or turnovery for fuck sakes.

rockingdog

bahahaha did tampa realy think they would win this game?
when is winston gonna throw an INT?

litre_cola

I hoped they would do the Iggles a favoUr.

King Hippo

It’s fun watching Jameis do a stupid. Because he’s a fucktard rapist, you see.

Spur

WOOT WOOT

Horatio Cornblower

I can’t be the only one who was expecting jaylon Smith’s leg to fly off at the knee during that run back.

King Hippo

Huzzah, Non-Gendered Cowpersons!!