Season’s greetings! Cervezahombreroberto is still on furlough from the content mines, so you’re getting a very worn out mongoose handling the reins instead. I have been hosting relatives since December 18th. Mostly it’s been my wife’s parents, who arrived that day, but during the last few days I’ve also hosted my brother-in-law, his wife, and their three children. On the 23rd my mother and her husband came by, followed by my sister, her husband, and their two boys. Which meant that I was cooking for a total of fifteen people. Hosting such a large group was my own fault; I’d bought a 21-pound turkey at Costco the week after Thanksgiving for $6.00 (i.e. one-half of one dfo-dollar) and needed to get rid of it, so I invited everyone over. I’m still exhausted from entertaining so many people, but I’m also exhausted from managing the household during this time, which included a very major plumbing scare that has turned out to be a very minor repair, thankfully. I also installed a microwave, which was no picnic, then combined two broken microwaves to produce a single working SUPERMICROWAVE.
I don’t think I’ll be getting much of a chance to watch sports tonight, but you will, so here’s what’s on tap for you:
- NHL:
- Everybody vs. Everybody Else, apparently. Oh wait, no, that’s tomorrow. Tonight it’s Nobody vs. Nobody Else.
- NBA:
- All the Teams that Didn’t Play Yesterday vs. All the Other Teams that Didn’t Play Yesterday
- NCAA:
- QUICK LANE BOWL (sorry about that Mrs. Kiffin)!
- Minnesota vs. Georgia Tech – 5:15PM | ESPN
- CHEEZ-IT BOWL!
- Cal vs. TCU – 9:00PM | ESPN
- Basketball
- Teams with an aggregate record of 52-7 go up against teams with an aggregate record of 17-47. Probably not a lot of excitement from this slate.
- QUICK LANE BOWL (sorry about that Mrs. Kiffin)!
I hope your Christmas hangover isn’t too strong. I’ll see you in the comment section for more griping.
The Agony of Defeat:
bahahaha I just farted laughing at that!
It’s definitely fun to watch Disney’s Frozen withe MetallicA’s “Master of Puppets” as the soundtrack. It actually sort of syncs up.
The Agony of Defeat:
The Agony of Defeat:
(Caption: Scenes from the DFO Olympics)
7 total points, 6 total interceptions
yea points!!!!!!!
The Agony of Defeat:
What’s the haps?
Half Time!
What’s up with the field lighting in this Cheez-It Bowl? Is this a high school stadium? Are only half the lights on?
It’s a baseball stadium.
That’s what they WANT you to think
And not even a very good one aside from the roof that opens.
Admittedly, the opening roof is pretty cool.
Is that the Phoenix baseball stadium? I saw games there when it was Bank One Ballpark. All the lights were on during those MLB games. I never got in the pool.
Yup.
But SonOfSpam did!
Yahoo! sprots article just informed me that more than one person watched basketball on Christmas day. Wow!
I’m going back to Florida next week. Yes, yes I know….don’t say it.
But I just realized that I’m going to be on a plane on January 8 during the U*NC/NC State bball tilt.
I don’t plan well, is my point.
And another thing, back in my day the bowl games at least at a semblance of propriety. It would be the Cheez-its Holiday Bowl or something, for example. Now it’s just Cheez-its. Did the Kaiser take all our bowl names?
Anyone have a good vpn?
Duckduckgo and turbo VPN seem to be a decent combo
The fact that this bowl game doesn’t feature any of the military academies is the greatest travesty in the history of the universe.
“Cheez-it, it’s the Feds!”
whooooo!!!!!
oh yea INT for the BEARS!!!!!!!
This football game has entered bananacakes territory.
INTERCEPTION IN THE END ZONE…HE COULD GO ALL THE….
Never mind.
what was that, FOUR in the last 3 minutes of game action?
gaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!
Kids wanted to watch “Snowman!” which is their term for Frozen. This movie is going to end up overtaking The Thing, Ghostbusters, Big Lebowski, and Dawn of the Dead for most watched in WCS’s lifetime.
I’ve decided to tune out with MetallicA.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S7blkui3nQc&ab_channel=Metallica-Topic
You should read them the Jo Nesbo novel as a bedtime story. Let ’em grow up with a real sense of the world they live in!
As the guy who wrote it graduated from my HS, I apologize. But he also wrote Avenue Q who told yang that the Internet is for porn. Which is correct.
Gonna smoke a bowl for every Bears TD….
yoooooo…..
TD CAL BEARS!!!!!
TCU should be ashamed of theyselves.
Found a funny:
a : I has superpower
b : wut superpower u has
a : force field
b : you has force field
a : ya
b: lemme see
@ :
b : oh dang
pretty gross finger injury there
Some guy just bought Hermana Weaselo and me Jagerbombs and then won at bar video roulette. So that’s my evening right now.
The guy also asked if we were a couple so we got to add another tally to the “people who have thought that.” Like the halal cart guy when he told us about his experience with cocaine!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYZfNZbn0SU
In the intro I forgot to mention that on Christmas morning we got our pajamas out and went to the movies to see Into the Spider-verse. I loved it. Most visually stimulating movie I’ve seen since, well, possibly ever.
My favorite part was when he threw a bagel at someone and when it hit them the caption “BAGEL!” appeared.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcrc4VdoueE&ab_channel=IHeartCleverTV
I’ve consumed nothing else today but water, my daily prescriptions, a piece of bread. I’ve also been drinking since heavily for the past hour. That’s good DFO parenting, right?
/my kids have eaten all day
//keep pissing me off, with Lil’ WCS saying she’s “bored,” despite all of the new toys Christmas brought
///continuing to destroy the living room with scattered parts of new said toys
….time for another whiskey
Lose the bread, fatty! – Karen C.
Toilet paper is a food group. – K. Carpenter
Oh, banner worthy.
https://www.cnn.com/2017/12/30/world/auld-lang-syne-lyrics-trnd/index.html
Huh. Some of the lyrics appears to be written for the common drunk.
So… us?
No. We’re Semi-Professional Drunks.
Oh, we don’t get paid. I understand.
In Yinzburgh, the former is called “City Chicken,” and it’s probably pigeon meat, with some filler. And it’s delicious!
In the Cincinnati Tri-State area, we called the former stray cat.
Like I said, “some filler.”
It is terrifying that “meatless” is cheaper than “pork”.
The Scot in me says go for the Chicken.
A moment of silence for the brave members of the Armed Forces who met President Trump but had to treat him with respect and not kick him square in the nuts just because of stupid insubordination charges.
“It just went off! I have no idea how it got pointed at him, or why it was set to full automatic, or why it fired off the entire magazine all at once!”
The spin-off from Chi****: The Musical. The Court Martial Tango!
“THE COPS, ALRIGHT! I LEARNED IT FROM WATCHING THE COPS!!!”
“He was dark…I mean, it was dark.”
“What do you mean he’s white?! He looks like a Muppet left in the dryer too long!”
All these years later, I’m getting started on Deadwood. Assuming this is a good decision.
VERY
Yes. And after you’re done with that, you should consider engaging with Timothy Olyphant again, this time as a modern day US Marshal, in Justified. It is very awesome.
He plays basically the same guy, in a different time and place.
And then watch the Archer episode “The Wind Cries Mary” with Timothy Olyphant as Archer’s BFF Lucas Troy:
This really is an absolute, merciless skullfucking of Georgia Tech.
And by Minnesota too. That’s the team the other Big 10 teams make fun of behind their back.
I would’ve thought that’s Rutgers but they do it to their face because what are they gonna do about it?
Shouldn’t you have created a Macrowave? Or Nanowave?
1,000 microwaves=1 milliwave
I am watching the neon clutches of GAMBLOR. And by that I mean I’m at a casino bar watching Padre Weaselo’s Aretha tribute band play.
FACT: In 1975, in order to restructure British debt payments to the U.S. from the Second World War, President Gerald Ford fucked the shit out of Queen Elizabeth II and got a wake-up blow job the next day.
That’ll be an interesting episode of “The Crown”.
Kelsey Grammer looks terrible.
‘Das boot were made for walking,
Walking all over you.
One of these days das boot gonna
walk all over you
………
Walk all over you.’
-Wolfgang Peterson
“Dennis Gets Friendly-Fired”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpwDcgHhFDQ&ab_channel=Movieclips
I’m not going to varnish the truth: JFK’s nose on Mount Rushmore during the North By Northwest reboot has been ‘shopped down to 1/3 of its original size.
I would have bet MOAR if I knew Minny’s best player was a Moooooslim!
/also FUCK Paul Johnson and his junior high offense
THREE KIDS?
/faints
//head hits arm of fainting couch
I might be buying a new car (UGH), I drove a rental one recently, and it was really neck comfortable (which is YUUUUUGE to me). It gets dinged on reviews for being “sluggish” but I didn’t find that to be the case. And the higher rated Mazda looks like an old lady car. Everything else in the line is significantly more expensive.
Any of y’all know anything about ’em?
I always wanted an Italian car. So I bought a Jeep Renegade.
[OK engine, just the right size to park anywhere easily, and it goes over mudslides and shit.]
I pretty much limit myself to Japanese cars due to repair/maintenance cost and/or difficulty. I drive cars for about 12 years, on average.
My family has cut the cord. Thankfully I am only one that know where the HD Antenna is and how to work it so I should be able to survive on Sunday.
Like I have said before, they will take away cable teevee when I am cold and ded.
I bet Minny to win the half AND the game moneyline! And I insured my “full game” bet at +1050 after it went to 20-3.
chuh fucking chuh GAMBLOR!
/watching North By Northwest for the umpteenth time
Me: “WATCH OUT, CARY! FIGURE THIS OUT, GODAMNIT!!!
I’m not saying Ted Bundy was RIGHT, I’m just saying I understand!” – Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
If you’re gonna kill ‘em for God’s sake at least don’t eat ‘em. It’s like dogs and cats, people go ape-shit if you eat something that has a name. Look at what they did to Jeffrey Dahmer because of that.
yeah, old Ted just banged a few corpses, and FFS they were still pretty WARM
You gotta set limits
Agreed. Anyone at least can understand it when someone has a sudden urge to filter the genepool.
I probably have more in common with Lizzy Borden at this point, tbh.
Week 17 impromptu Request Line!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pRwleQ4pnrM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uai7M4RpoLU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjWhOoT2h7w