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Your “The Prodigal Son Returns” Thursday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

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Happy New Year everyone. I’m back from vacation & looking forward to seeing how the playoffs & coaching changes work themselves out. I’m only working Thursday this week due to playoffs, but am on my usual off-season weeknight routine starting next week.

NFL News:

  • Sad news for fans of hillbilly names: Jim Bob Cooter has been released by the Lions.
    • When you’re given no running backs & Fat Sackford is your QB, that’s the inevitable result.
  • Mike McCarthy is reportedly interviewing with the Browns & Jets, possibly even this week.
    • And actually turned down the Cardinals, which is kinda understandable since they got him fired in the first place.
  • The NFL has decided to go with Caesars as its first casino sponsor.
    • I guess Mark Davis decided to fuck (over) Sheldon Adelson one more time.
    • Seven NFL Clubs have relationships with Caesars Entertainment: the Atlanta Falcons, Baltimore Ravens, Chicago Bears, Indianapolis Colts, New Orleans Saints, Oakland Raiders and Philadelphia Eagles.
  • The courts have made Dan Snyder’s day, as the domestic violence charges against Reuben Foster have been dropped.
    • “A judge ruled there was no probable cause on the first two charges after Ennis recanted the allegations and the judge found no other evidence to support the charges.”
    • He’s still on the Reserve/Commissioner Exempt List, so he’ll likely miss some time in 2019 for violating Goodell’s ambiguous “personal conduct” policy.

Finally, umm…

Mike Mayock is now the titular Raiders GM?

  • Derek Carr must be fucking thrilled. Apparently, his ‘skill’ at assessing draft talent is what makes him eminently qualified to take over for Reggie McKenzie.

Tonight’s sports:

  • Hockey:
    • NHL: the Leafs, Habs, Flames & Canucks are all regional broadcasts tonight
      • Blackhawks at Islanders – 7:30PM | NBCSN
      • Capitals at Blues – 8:00PM | Sportsnet
      • Bolts at Kings – 10:30PM | Sportsnet
    • World Juniors:
      • NOTHING MATTERS BECAUSE CANADA LOST TO FUCKING FINLAND!!1!!1
      • Actually, on Friday afternoon – 4:00/1:00 – the USA plays Russia in the semi-finals – TSN / NHLN.
        • I’ll be there wearing my finest Tretiak CCCP jersey.
  • Basketball:
    • NBA:
      • Raptors at Spurs – 8:00PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
      • Rockets at Warriors – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
    • NCAA:
      • Illinois at Indiana – 7:00PM | FS1
      • North Carolina State at Miami – 7:00PM | ESPNU
      • Penn State at Michigan – 7:00PM | ESPN
      • Colorado at Arizona – 9:00PM | FS1
      • St. Mary’s (Cal.) at San Francisco – 9:00PM | ESPN2

Long story short: we went to New York for Christmas, mostly to avoid family dramas during this festive season, but also because I did drag her across Scotland for my birthday. There will be a full report at a later date. NO REGRETS!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have been trying to impress upon my wife the art of killing time, which I perfected when I was in South Africa. Today’s demonstration was how to spend six hours making a scratching post for the cat.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

¡Guba! is Mexican for “Ook!”

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WCS

That sounds dangerously productive. I’ll continue wasting the day away mindlessly browsing the web.

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King Hippo

Fuck you, I will use the back of your couch, and you’ll like it! – Rikki’s cat

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Have you tried meth?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Stop giving Redshirt PTSD-related flashbacks.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

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The sour I had earlier. if you like sours go for it.

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Sharkbait

Haven’t liked any I’ve had so far, but I’m willing to try.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s what one past GF said about anal.

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Horatio Cornblower

I keep trying but their appeal is lost on me.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ve had a few that were good, but for me one has to be in the mood and it is usually drink one and move one. Not a style of beer you’re going to pound the sixer you just bought at the liquor in the parking lot.

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JerBear50

Only sour I’ve ever had and liked was Almanac’s Rose. I couldn’t drink it all the time, but one or two makes for a nice change of pace.

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rockingdog

This game was dope.
Man city vs liv

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2Mz9Uyq2iiA

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

UConn is down by 7. Please do not panic, but please also start hoarding food.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Paging Redshirt, aisle 7.

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Senor Weaselo

The Titan Games is… kinda corny.

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Sharkbait

It looks like American Gladiators minus the gladiators.

And also, I assume a copious amount of PEDs

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Redshirt

So its American Gladiators and American Ninja Warrior, only without the fun?

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Senor Weaselo

Bingo.

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Horatio Cornblower

The UConn women are losing by 1 at the half. Please stay tuned for more instructions as to how to handle a national emergency should this continue.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dolph Ucker

So, 41st game of the year, Habs v. Canucks. 2-0 Canadiens at the start of the third. This is a team that, right now, is headed for the playoffs. Whether they will get there or not in another 41 games is almost beside the point. Hell, I saw predictions of 15-20 wins for the season… they are over-achieving. Or maybe better than advertised.

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litre_cola

Smallest team in the league.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

They prefer “grittiest.”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s what she said.

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Sharkbait

Ice Giants need to start driving the tank in the right direction. Lose damnit!

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JerBear50

I slipped my Khalil Mack jersey on over my uniform today as I walked into work. It had the desired effect of getting me cussed out and threatened by my Raider-fan sergeant.

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Sharkbait

What is this I hear about Hue going to the Vikings?

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herodotus450

Minus about 200 nanometers, I’d say.

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JerBear50

Christ I hope so. Apologies to yeah, right, but that would just make my little testes tingle.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, that was me whistling.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Huh, I swore I just heard the sound of two knees giving out at once, followed by a lengthy sequence of swearing.

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Redshirt

Nice to know that rumor I started is still going around.

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Senor Weaselo

Thank goodness I don’t have to teach until Monday. Instead I have a rehearsal that was canceled today. And I picked up a second gig for Sunday!

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

So my results from the Instant Pot Chili weren’t great last night, as it turned out to be more of a stew. Now, after looking over the damn thing to see if there was a good way to fix that, there’s a pre-set button literally called CHILI.

FUCK YOU non-Sunday Gravy online recipe that told me to manually pressure cook this concoction!

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JerBear50

Hmmmm, indica or sativa?

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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King Hippo

Shitty Wolves less shitty on the hardwood, for a change. Nice road win.

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Horatio Cornblower

Gotta go back to work tomorrow for an unexpected hearing, but it even more unexpectedly got moved to 2. So….
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

That’s a purdy beer ya got ‘dere.

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Horatio Cornblower

There were two 4-packs at the store yesterday.

Now there are 7.5 of them at my house.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’d fuck it for sure.

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King Hippo

ah, I finally get it. Dance Party is a clever “clubbing” reference/wordplay.

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Horatio Cornblower

Please do not tell my daughter that. She thinks the can is cute.

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JerBear50

An IPA with lactose? How is it?

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Horatio Cornblower

Delicious. It’s a local beer out from Shebeen Brewing in Wolcott, CT. It’s on my list of “see it, buy it” beers.

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JerBear50

Not generally an IPA guy, but I would be curious enough to try one of those.

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Horatio Cornblower

Any beer is worth trying once, (exhibit A being the sour I choked down earlier tonight), but if you don’t like IPAs I’m not sure you’d dig this one. It’s very much an IPA.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

God help me, I’m actually watching primetime TV for the first time in 15 years.

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litre_cola

ARE YOU READY TO LAUGH????

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scotchnaut

[eating 75% off pre-cooked honey-garlic wings]

Bon Jovi’s ‘Living On A Prayer’ is really hitting home for me right now*

*btw, I’m more than half-way there*

*OH, WHOA!

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Redshirt

This isn’t a joke; I am completely serious. This is happening every time my phone bleeps for a text message, email or new alert:

(bleep)
(removes phone from pocket)
“Don’t be Hue. Don’t be Hue. Don’t be Hue.”
(checks phone)
(sighs)
(puts phone back in pocket)

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scotchnaut

A certain Ms. Hynde feels that you should put brass in pocket…

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

You’re describing me leading up to the impending Football Clippers move. I hope you have a better outcome.

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herodotus450

Gruden would’ve hired Mel Kiper as GM but his remote is broken and he can’t change the channel from NFLN.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

THIS GUY, MARK DAVIS, I CALL HIM DONALD TRUMP BECAUSE HE’S A PETULANT MAN-CHILD WITH DADDY ISSUES WHOSE SUCCESS IS A PRODUCT OF NEPOTISM AND ONLY HIRES PEOPLE HE AGREES WITH ON THE TV BOX WHO ARE TOO AFRAID TO TELL HIM THAT HIS HAIR IS THE SUBJECT OF CONSTANT MOCKING AND A SYMBOL FOR HIS ETERNAL INEPTITUDE TO EVEN GET SOMETHING AS SIMPLE AS A HAIRCUT RIGHT.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Is that too long for the banner?

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scotchnaut

“Not too long for The Banner but way too long for me.”

-The Hulk

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Redshirt

Low Commander, you’re hilarious comment is putting me in a position to defend Donald Trump. Please consider ceasing and desisting. I’ve been cold turkey from the Republican Party for several months. I don’t want to go back into that darkness.

Please don’t let me go back into the darkness.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Don’t go friend, just laugh and have a(nother) beer with me.

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Redshirt

Oh, amber elixir. Please dull the pain away.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Tom Selleck is now hocking reverse mortgages. Guess the Magnum PI residuals finally ran out.

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scotchnaut

I’ve been told by certain people in the know that Mr. Selleck laid down a significant amount of cash on the bushy ‘stache coming back into vogue. Millennials and their beards wiped out most of his life savings.

/placing dicey bets on The Hollywood Facial Hair Exchange never works out-trust me on this

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litre_cola

He has got to do a cameo on the new Magnum if he is that hard up.

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Viva La Tabula Raza

He really seems sincere about how reverse mortgages aren’t some kind of scam! I believe him!

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scotchnaut

Thank gawd Prince died so that the guardians of his estate could finally squeeze some money from Capital One for the right to use ‘Let’s Go Crazy’ in one of their ads.

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WCS

It’s been done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xou_HMcIiPA&ab_channel=enfreygo

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scotchnaut

Also, has Finland ever booted Canada out of any hockey competition before yesterday? I had this discussion with guys at work today and we all of us came up empty.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Booted? I thought that was more of an Aussie thing.
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

First day back on the job and I’ve got a splitting headache that won’t go away. Think I can finally get that doctor’s note that states that I’m allergic to work?

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scotchnaut

The (Dead Mothers) Club is a hard watch. Damn.

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