Your “Mile High Club” Friday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m traveling again this week.  This time Dave is staying home and I’m traveling by plane.  Again.

Lucky Dave.  He gets to sit there in that comfy garage, all nice and warm, and not do any work.  Again.

Smug Bastard

But I digress….

I have come to hate flying.  Why?  Well listen to Jim….

We’re not fucking animals, we live in a society!!!

Airports

For me personally, the actual flying is not generally the problem.  I’m not afraid of flying.  I’m not claustrophobic.  The cramped confines and general discomfort don’t bother me, even on longer flights.  My point is that once I’m on the plane and settled in, I’m good.  Well usually, anyway.  Occasionally, one gets seated next to someone who is/has one or more of those things I just mentioned above, and that can make it unpleasant to one degree or another.

For me though, it’s dealing with the airports that usually bugs me.  That is what I’ve come to loathe.  It’s as if everyone who is employed at an airport…ANY airport in any capacity…. is getting paid to be a huge dick.

I’ve flown commercially roughly a dozen times over the past couple of years.  Double that if you count round trips.  Double it again (almost) if you count layovers and connections.  And only a handful of times have I had a decent experience in airports.  And I don’t even mean “good” experience.  You can just forget about that.  But just “decent”, meaning that I was not either in danger of having a stroke due blood pressure spikes from being annoyed, or just so discouraged that I wanted to perform a murder/suicide.  Allegedly.

Some of you are familiar with some of my airport experiences.  Low Commander knows all too well how annoyed I became at Las Vegas McCarran a couple of years ago when we flew out of Vegas at the same time.  That was the closest I’ve ever come to airport jail.  Seriously.  (ProTip:  Even when a TSA agent is being a dick, don’t argue with them.  You’re not gonna win anyway.  Just let them throw your shit away and move on, then buy more shit when you get home because it’s not worth it.)

Then there was the night I spent in the St. Louis Lambert airport last summer when the first leg of my flight got delayed for several hours due to thunderstorms, so my connection to LA left before I arrived.  Come to find out, the gate agent still could have gotten me on the last connection out that night to LA, but put me on one the following morning instead.  I ended up (not) sleeping in the St. Louis airport that night instead AND missed a full night of legal California weed.  I really wanted to punch that guy in the head a few times when I found out there was an earlier flight and he just didn’t bother, but again….two words, say it with me…..  Airport Jail.  It’s a strong deterrent.

Anywhooo….

When I left the house early this past Wednesday morning to head to the airport to fly down here to Florida, I was very responsible and arrived at the airport quite early.  Nearly 3 hours before my flight.  I parked (without running over any light poles this time, mind you), grabbed my luggage, and got on the shuttle to the terminal.  I was doing great, this was going swimmingly.

Then holy shit!!!!!

I have never seen lines that long at any airport, much less at RDU (Redneck-Douchebag International).  I ended up standing in a line for over an hour, which stretched around the counter twice and even out the door a little bit, just to check my bag.  I then stood in a TSA line for almost as long, though I do have to give them credit for moving things along as quickly as possible on this day since they weren’t making us take our electronics out or take off our shoes.  Woulda been a good day for a shoe-bomb I guess.

Then (and this is the kicker) I look at the Arrivals/Departures board and I see they’ve rescheduled the departure of my flight for….EARLIER!!!!!  Why the hell do they ever do that?  Especially on a morning this busy?  And the board says my flight is already done boarding and is about to make tracks.  Sooooooo, of course I start hustling my tired white ass toward my gate.  And then I hear the announcement on the P.A. that it’s the last call for boarding and they’re closing the cabin door in one minute.

Now my tired white ass is running.

Yet somewhat amazingly, I make it.  Just barely, or so I thought at the time.

The gate agent was lovely to me, though she did kinda snicker a little about me being out of breath while scanning my boarding pass.  I then board and stow my carry ons, I sit down and buckle my seat belt, and I get ready to roll.  Let’s do this.

Then over the next 25-ish minutes, at least a dozen more people board.  And we just sit there.  And sit there.  And sit there.  The flight actually ended up leaving a little late, in fact.  Which is fine, I’m happy for those folks that they didn’t miss the flight and I really was not in any hurry.  The sun isn’t even up for another 2 hours anyway.

But as I sat there, thinking about this, it really annoyed me that they would change the departure time on the board and say they’re leaving early.  Then kinda act as if it was my fault I barely made it.  Then not just fire up the plane and go.  And then end up leaving late.

I will say this though…  Once I got to this end, my arrival at the Sarasota-Bradenton Airport went quite well.  They had my bag on the little conveyor thingy before I even got to it.  I don’t remember that ever happening anywhere before.  And my rental car was ready and gassed up.  And though this isn’t anything to do with the airport of course, my hotel even let me check in 3.5 hours early.  So sincere kudos to everyone here in Florida I’ve dealt with.  I really do mean that.  Maybe Florida doesn’t suck quite as much as I accused them of recently.

Then I got a little drunk.  Again, that has nothing to do with the airport.  Well, sort of maybe.

The moral of the story?

Don’t ever fly on the first business day after the holiday season if you can help it.  Even if it is 5am on a Wednesday morning.  Just don’t do it.

(apologies to Rikki-Tikki-Deadly  for that one)

((tWBS giggles))

Sports Which Will Make You Fly Off The Handle 2Nite

NHL

No national broadcasts.  At least not in ‘Murrica that I can find.  Check your locals.

Full Schedule

NBA

  • Dallas @ Boston – 8:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
  • OKC @ Portland – 10:30pmEST – TV: ESPN

Full Schedule

NCAA Hoops

  • Ball State @ Toledo – 7:00pmEST – TV: CBSSN
  • IUPUI @ Ill-Chi**** – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU
  • SMU @ Tulane – 7:00pmEST – TV: ESPN2
  • (20)Buffalo @ E. Michigan – 9:00pmEST – TV: CBSSN

Full Schedule

**And just a friendly reminder…

Go in moderation tonight and get your rest because there’s playoff football starting tomorrow.

Just saying.

The Lovelies Of The Friendly Skies

A flight really can be infinitely more enjoyable if your flight attendant(s) are friendly.  I do mean that sincerely.

If they’re rather attractive and friendly, and maybe even a bit flirtatious, which has happened to me on occasion (though not this time, grumble grumble)…  Well it can make a long flight go by much more quickly and enjoyably.

Enjoy…

I’ll need to use caution when opening the overhead bins, as things in my pants may have shifted.

My flight home is midweek next week, and I figure it’ll suck.  But there’s always a chance…that ummmm….

Whoa….

OK, everyone have a great weekend.

Love ya’s.

(that made me laugh)

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
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ArmedandHammeredRikki-Tikki-DeadlyGame Time DecisionALXMACMr. Ayo Recent comment authors
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Game Time Decision

Flying home today. Currently in Charles De
gaulle and can confirm all of the previously mentioned issues. Bonus that some parts of the airport smell like a toilet.
We fly to reykjavik and then to Toronto. As I’m 6’5″ I take the isle and to let the mrs. And kids sit together.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Aw shiznit; wrong tab

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

OY!! I’m drunk. Here are 3 of my favorite aviation related songs not mentioned by tWBS earlier (I think) or anyone else (I think; I didn’t read all of the posts because I’m drunk). No particular order:

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This is western Nebraska or eastern Colorado; not quite sure.
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yeah right

Counsel Bluffs.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

How did you get the shadows? That’s all flat.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Ha ha that’s the picture straight out the window. Seat 1F, starboard side, looking north.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Subtle

Wakezilla

As if I couldn’t love Alexandria Ocasio Cortez even more, she has this video leaked.

/Would stuff her ballot more times than people voting for a US supported despot in another part of the world

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I prefer not to sexualize politicians, but since this is Sexy Friday I’m just going to point out that she looks hot as fuck here and leave it at that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Hnnngh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Non-Gendered Cowpersons are telling fans to wear a white out tomorrow, including Jerral wearing a white suit *Puts 60 seconds on a clock*

No word yet on whether they’ll burn a star at midfield before the game.

/And go!

Senor Weaselo

(No one else wants to join in…)
The Cowboys PR department added that hoods are optional.

Chip Kelly is now considered interested in the Cowboys head coaching job.

Pete Carroll said there’s nothing to worry about as long as the Cowboys players don’t form a triangle.

Yoko Ono will be a special guest and sing at halftime. Upon hearing of this, both teams forfeited the game, and as a result of that the Saints have been given a bye to the NFC Championship and the winner of Eagles-Bears will take on the Rams.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some white is ok.

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Sharkbait

Ice Broncos.
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Senor Weaselo

Two minute penalty on the Rangers for being dead.

Sharkbait

4 deflections? Georgiev deserves better.

Senor Weaselo

Hey, that one wasn’t a deflection, it was just a giveaway at the doorstep! Progress!

Sharkbait

At least there’s the WJC gold medal game?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I have come down with the dreaded man cold. Pray for me.

yeah right

Two days ahead of yez. On New Year’s Eve I actually bragged that I made it an entire calendar year without being sick only to wake up with a cold the NEXT FUCKING MORNING!

Don’t tempt that cold hearted fucker Fate!

ballsofsteelandfury

Both of y’all should have worn your bright blue parkas!
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Technically I think I got it hiking in the negative temps in Rocky mountain national park on 12/31 but today it went from “I’m getting sick” to “I need to be in bed”

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Stay strong!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’m on day 5 of the phlegm and coughing tour.

Sharkbait

Flying sucks

Senor Weaselo

Ice Giants need to stop doing penalty shit. Granted that last one was kinda necessary, but this is credited as the 5th power play of the 1st due to a 5-minute major.

Senor Weaselo

I say that and there’s a coincidental minor.

Sharkbait

WTF happened for a Major?

I mean…#loseforHughs

Senor Weaselo

Macleod 5 for boarding early. But this shit is ridiculous. They went from a power play to a 4 on 3, now it’s a 5 on 3.

Sharkbait

I should have guessed it was Macleod…

Senor Weaselo

Hey, Staal for roughing, back to 5 on 3. There has been maybe 3 minutes of 5 on 5 in this game and there are currently 12 minutes left in the 2nd.

Sharkbait

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Sharkbait

Does their goal announcement seriously end with a juggalo woop woop call??

Senor Weaselo

Visitor going to the box gets a d*lly d*lly, which I believe means killsat justice.

Sharkbait

I do like the Mario 1 up sound after killing a penalty though.

Gratliff

Am I doing this right? comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We are not here to judge what tightens your pants (food excepted).

Senor Weaselo

Rule 34 says yes.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Wednesday:

DR. MRS. DEADLY ESQUIRE (ret.): Now that your income is carrying the load, we’ll have to watch our expenses…

Thursday:

DR. MRS. DEADLY ESQUIRE (ret.): Oh, there’s this food truck I wanted to try that will be in the neighborhood. Lobster tacos!

Friday:

DR. MRS. DEADLY ESQUIRE (ret.): Let’s order food delivered!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Sounds like she needs to get a job.

ballsofsteelandfury

Should I not mention it’s DineLA week?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[shakes fist]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tell her MILF porn is popular and brings in a lot of cash.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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and plenty of airline themed porn.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

I didn’t know John Denver’s plane had a dash cam.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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NOPE.