Your Afternoon-ish NFC Wild Card Game Open Thread

I finish this intro off with 6 minutes left in the Bolts/Dead Birds game. Please Football Deity, let your glorious light shine through in this tilt in the form of touchdowns, great catches, good execution on both sides of the ball, clever play-calling and solid defense. We have been dutiful all the year long and deserve better. Amen.

TO THE GAME!

Brotherly Love/Broad Shoulders:

 

I hope that neither of the kickers here win the Mike Badgley of Honor Award for their actions today. I mentioned in the autre intro that the Ravens had shut opponents down over the last few games to the tune of 13 per. Dose Bears have done even better over their last four-10 points they’ve surrendered on average. This is a great time of the year to be putting the thumbscrews to hapless miscreants that happen to wander on to the turf. One caveat-Foles has over the last 3 games been number uno in passing yards, completion percentage, yards per attempt and net yards per pass attempt. He’s caught and maintained fire before so who knows how things might play out.*

*one of the ways it’s gonna play out is that the Bears defenders are going to target those bruised ribs and rough him up a little. That’s just what aggressive D’s try to do. Inflict pain.

As for the Truth Biscuit, qb’s seeing their very first playoff action (see: Jackson & Watson) usually need to get a loss under their game cups in order to understand what it takes to come out on top. If he just plays the game-managing game and stands back so that the other talent flourishes he should be okay.

Buckle up-should be a good ‘un.

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Redshirt

I fell asleep in that half hour that football wasn’t footballing. Great nap, though.

How’s the NFC game so far?

King Hippo

all defensing

Spur

See Mitch is ok comment image

Doktor Zymm

I guess it’s good to know that I should look up cause a thing is about to happen, but goddamn Sling, you suck

Doktor Zymm

And my stupid stream is horribly delayed again 🙁

Gratliff

Brett Favre Memorial Having Fun Out There

fleshwound_NPG

FOLESCEPTION 2: ELECTRIC SOMEBODY-GONNA-GIVE-HIM-THAT-LOL-ELITE-FLACCO-CONTRACTALO

Senor Weaselo

This game is ending 7-6 on two safeties and a field goal, isn’t it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

BIG PICK NICK!!!

Spur

Two Pick Nick

...

Well it seems if Foles gets anything on a pass, it’ll get picked off, so that’s… something.

The Maestro

LITTLEDICKCEPTION!

Gratliff

Welllllllllllllllll fuck

Recovery Whiskey

Pickerception

Doktor Zymm

So Hurns is promising to be ready to go for next season. Dislocated ankle plus a couple fractures. Not impossible, but damn, if he doesn’t have a million second thoughts during rehab…

Doktor Zymm

Smack in the ribs in the Taint

Col. Duke LaCross

Jesus. Those passes are making Rivers’ throws look like an Aroldis Chapman fastball.

Gratliff

And they’re working and I can’t figure out why

King Hippo

hit on 17 once too often

Spur

Golden Tate has made his one catch for the game.

Gratliff

‘Twas a good ‘un

Gatoraids

Landed that hit more and woulda been the hand equivalent of hurns

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s Matt Patricia’s fault

Gratliff

GOLDEN TAINT WITH A SUDDEN RESURRECTION

King Hippo

Jesus, how did THAT drop in?

Doktor Zymm

I pulled my hamstring once, on a 10k hike on the Great Wall of China. Then I tried to go on a Hash House Harriers run and that didn’t work so I ended up drinking beer at my friend’s apartment nearby

Gratliff

Tiny Fucking Darren, grinding it out in the year of our lord 2019. Bless the little man.

...

Knowing our luck, the blue tent will collapse and burst into flames.

Doktor Zymm

WHO WILL KISS CHICAGO’S TITTIES NOW?!

King Hippo

we shall have to bring the titties TO EL BOLLO!

King Hippo

Bollo seems like a guy who can handle his opiates.

Spur

Are there Titties in the tent?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How much Toradol do they have onhand?

Gratliff

ALL THE CORTISONE

King Hippo

ARE YOU READY…FOR THAT OTHER GUY??

bk109

FUUUUCK, I thought it was just a booze-inflicted auditory hallucination… but apparently a “Chase Daniel” is about to go in the fight

Recovery Whiskey

Chased that first down too hard

...

God has forsaken us

Gratliff

Jim Miller somewhere having PTSD

fleshwound_NPG
Doktor Zymm

Has Bikkie been hanging out with SeaBass?

fleshwound_NPG

mitchy gotta learn to not run anyways

BrettFavresColonoscopy

The crowd goes wild

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Upright time?

...

oh…. fuck

King Hippo

Bollo del Hamstring Owie

Gratliff

HOO BABY HERE WE GO

King Hippo

everyone excited to see Cody Parkey?

Doktor Zymm

I like Tarik Cohen. He is good player

Doktor Zymm

Damn, knew I should have gone with Hot Russian Nudes Want To Collude With You Tonight!!!1

BrettFavresColonoscopy

where’s the hot taek warning?

Fronkenshteen

Agreed. Much more than a gadget player. Glad he plays for a coach who knows how to maximize his skills.

Old School Zero

Today’s crossword is annoying.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Andy Reid coaching tree timeout

...

The fruit has always been underripe timeouts.

Recovery Whiskey

luckily bennett is well known for his calm demeanor

Gratliff

Fuck. You know they’re always gonna call the retaliation

Spur

Dirty Bird

King Hippo

I should have said: “THERE IS NO GOD BUT BLEERGH”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Did Al call him Trubitsky?

Doktor Zymm

He usually does that, doesn’t he?

King Hippo

remember, we are ICRM’s alibi later

Viva La Tabula Raza

Collinsworth just did if my ears aren’t deceiving me.