I finish this intro off with 6 minutes left in the Bolts/Dead Birds game. Please Football Deity, let your glorious light shine through in this tilt in the form of touchdowns, great catches, good execution on both sides of the ball, clever play-calling and solid defense. We have been dutiful all the year long and deserve better. Amen.
TO THE GAME!
Brotherly Love/Broad Shoulders:
I hope that neither of the kickers here win the Mike Badgley of Honor Award for their actions today. I mentioned in the autre intro that the Ravens had shut opponents down over the last few games to the tune of 13 per. Dose Bears have done even better over their last four-10 points they’ve surrendered on average. This is a great time of the year to be putting the thumbscrews to hapless miscreants that happen to wander on to the turf. One caveat-Foles has over the last 3 games been number uno in passing yards, completion percentage, yards per attempt and net yards per pass attempt. He’s caught and maintained fire before so who knows how things might play out.*
*one of the ways it’s gonna play out is that the Bears defenders are going to target those bruised ribs and rough him up a little. That’s just what aggressive D’s try to do. Inflict pain.
As for the Truth Biscuit, qb’s seeing their very first playoff action (see: Jackson & Watson) usually need to get a loss under their game cups in order to understand what it takes to come out on top. If he just plays the game-managing game and stands back so that the other talent flourishes he should be okay.
Buckle up-should be a good ‘un.
I fell asleep in that half hour that football wasn’t footballing. Great nap, though.
How’s the NFC game so far?
all defensing
See Mitch is ok
I guess it’s good to know that I should look up cause a thing is about to happen, but goddamn Sling, you suck
And my stupid stream is horribly delayed again 🙁
Brett Favre Memorial Having Fun Out There
FOLESCEPTION 2: ELECTRIC SOMEBODY-GONNA-GIVE-HIM-THAT-LOL-ELITE-FLACCO-CONTRACTALO
This game is ending 7-6 on two safeties and a field goal, isn’t it.
BIG PICK NICK!!!
Two Pick Nick
Well it seems if Foles gets anything on a pass, it’ll get picked off, so that’s… something.
LITTLEDICKCEPTION!
Welllllllllllllllll fuck
Pickerception
So Hurns is promising to be ready to go for next season. Dislocated ankle plus a couple fractures. Not impossible, but damn, if he doesn’t have a million second thoughts during rehab…
Smack in the ribs in the Taint
Jesus. Those passes are making Rivers’ throws look like an Aroldis Chapman fastball.
And they’re working and I can’t figure out why
hit on 17 once too often
Golden Tate has made his one catch for the game.
‘Twas a good ‘un
Landed that hit more and woulda been the hand equivalent of hurns
That’s Matt Patricia’s fault
GOLDEN TAINT WITH A SUDDEN RESURRECTION
Jesus, how did THAT drop in?
I pulled my hamstring once, on a 10k hike on the Great Wall of China. Then I tried to go on a Hash House Harriers run and that didn’t work so I ended up drinking beer at my friend’s apartment nearby
Tiny Fucking Darren, grinding it out in the year of our lord 2019. Bless the little man.
There’s no doubt whatsoever in my mind that Darren Sproles will inherit the earth.
Knowing our luck, the blue tent will collapse and burst into flames.
WHO WILL KISS CHICAGO’S TITTIES NOW?!
we shall have to bring the titties TO EL BOLLO!
Bollo seems like a guy who can handle his opiates.
Are there Titties in the tent?
How much Toradol do they have onhand?
ALL THE CORTISONE
ARE YOU READY…FOR THAT OTHER GUY??
FUUUUCK, I thought it was just a booze-inflicted auditory hallucination… but apparently a “Chase Daniel” is about to go in the fight
Chased that first down too hard
God has forsaken us
Jim Miller somewhere having PTSD
https://twitter.com/LeBronMaclean/status/1082024502240792576
Has Bikkie been hanging out with SeaBass?
mitchy gotta learn to not run anyways
The crowd goes wild
Upright time?
oh…. fuck
Bollo del Hamstring Owie
HOO BABY HERE WE GO
everyone excited to see Cody Parkey?
I like Tarik Cohen. He is good player
Nice try, bot.
Damn, knew I should have gone with Hot Russian Nudes Want To Collude With You Tonight!!!1
where’s the hot taek warning?
Agreed. Much more than a gadget player. Glad he plays for a coach who knows how to maximize his skills.
“He play good. I agree.”
-Doktor Zymm
Today’s crossword is annoying.
Andy Reid coaching tree timeout
The fruit has always been underripe timeouts.
luckily bennett is well known for his calm demeanor
Fuck. You know they’re always gonna call the retaliation
Dirty Bird
I should have said: “THERE IS NO GOD BUT BLEERGH”
Did Al call him Trubitsky?
He usually does that, doesn’t he?
remember, we are ICRM’s alibi later
Collinsworth just did if my ears aren’t deceiving me.