I finish this intro off with 6 minutes left in the Bolts/Dead Birds game. Please Football Deity, let your glorious light shine through in this tilt in the form of touchdowns, great catches, good execution on both sides of the ball, clever play-calling and solid defense. We have been dutiful all the year long and deserve better. Amen.
TO THE GAME!
Brotherly Love/Broad Shoulders:
I hope that neither of the kickers here win the Mike Badgley of Honor Award for their actions today. I mentioned in the autre intro that the Ravens had shut opponents down over the last few games to the tune of 13 per. Dose Bears have done even better over their last four-10 points they’ve surrendered on average. This is a great time of the year to be putting the thumbscrews to hapless miscreants that happen to wander on to the turf. One caveat-Foles has over the last 3 games been number uno in passing yards, completion percentage, yards per attempt and net yards per pass attempt. He’s caught and maintained fire before so who knows how things might play out.*
*one of the ways it’s gonna play out is that the Bears defenders are going to target those bruised ribs and rough him up a little. That’s just what aggressive D’s try to do. Inflict pain.
As for the Truth Biscuit, qb’s seeing their very first playoff action (see: Jackson & Watson) usually need to get a loss under their game cups in order to understand what it takes to come out on top. If he just plays the game-managing game and stands back so that the other talent flourishes he should be okay.
Buckle up-should be a good ‘un.
My tv stopped in the middle of the kick. Like it was in disbelief that it was straight
I’m dying here, especially since I can’t drink my way through this
It’s funny how I went from “I’ll be happy if the Bears go 8-8” to “if they lose today I’ll flip a parked car” in just a few months.
“member when the Superb Owl had cool logos.
Can’t wait to see the Eagles win Super Bowl L(I)III
Looking forward to Superb Owl 59.
LIX MOTHERFUCKERS
maybe we will get 2 lesbian teams?
Lingerie Football league. MAKE IT HAPPEN.
That was the time the NFL decided to officially take all the fun out of the sport.
without the pulled ass, he picks up that 1st down
Without the poled ass, Rock Hudson’s still alive.
oh, I laughed like on an ether binge
Not proud of it, but I couldn’t stop typing.
Without that pool, that kid I babysat when I was a teenager would still be—
I may have said too much.
Well fuck
15-10 final? Or 12-13??
Going meat free and (mostly) alcohol free for January. I’m not the kind of guy who usually laughs at farts, but the combination of fried tofu, Odoul’s and kombucha is creating some great ones.
I’ve found that split pea soup will really add depth to your emanations.
The Bears are Offensive!
NOPE
FG range!!
SHUT UP NO FIELD GOALS WE NEED A TD
Someone should inform Mitch
Yup. Just like Asante Samuel.
a thing! a good thing!
OKAY THAT’S GOOD
I’m surprised any time Jeffery doesn’t make a freak catch
Oh goddamn it I just heard the verb form of ‘journal’ on a NFL broadcast
All the Bears had to do was let the Vikings last week.
There’s something to be said about picking your own way out
That’s why I don’t use Kleenex.
/Ref puts foot on ball, blows whistle, waves arm
“No recovery. Incomplete”
(gunshot)
“The ball carrier has been declared dead.”
Amazingly, they used to allow the officials to carry and fire guns. (Yes, I know, not live ammo, but still….)
Fucking Bears.
Is one way to spice up your sex life?
Didn’t work out for Timothy Treadwell.
I hate this.
So, I think I actually miss the stereotypical old Bears fan. Being ‘a Chick who knows Sports’ is pretty damn fun in the right sort of old school Chicago bar
Bears fans from before or after the crippling depression of the last thirty years?
That goddamn punter is the best thing going for Chicago
hey now, Chi**** this here a FAMILY website, Goddamnit
Sending your defense right back out after that long drive? That’s a paddlin
GO FOR IT
Boo punted
Nfl refs
?itemid=13154771
I would’ve guessed NFL Referees would be Weeping Angels.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9U3ampthDdk
It had to happen someday: Dallas is good.
I’ve been Waiting for Goedert to score a touchdown
Night, Bears.
You shut your whore mouth
I mean, every Bears fan I follow on Twitter has given up so lol
If titty boy gets a single first down on the next drive, I’m turning the game off
Jesus, that must be a hellscape of misspelling and casual racism.
I see we’re back to chuck it up and pray to bleergh
teh only GOD who listens
WELL THIS IS GOING WELL
get your head turned around, you stupid virgin fuck
BLEEEEEEEEERGH
THE DERP IS TURNING UP
Man, Jason Peters is gonna be SO FAT when he retires
Without having any idea how such a thing would work, what if DFO had a Twitter account? God knows you guys produce enough humor on a nightly basis.
https://twitter.com/doorfliesopen
Well I’ll be damned
https://lex18.com/news/2019/01/06/mcdonalds-employee-on-paid-leave-after-customer-reportedly-attacks-her-over-plastic-straw/
Society has reached a new low.
Nice catch by that Samoan guy Tateiii.
prepare your Amos?
That was stupid, Amos.
Bears fans are not taking this well
Well that was fucking stupid as fuck.
Whoopsie doosie defenseless receiver
I will never be convinced that Vic Fangio wasn’t generated by a machine learning algorithm.
And I’m really gonna hate to see him leave.
Which is worse, Peterson or Pederson?
The thought of “Andy Reid fruit” just turned my stomach.
I assumed it would be like that piece of candy in “Willy Wonka” that is a full dinner in one piece.
Speaking of Casinos, I’ll be in Vegas Memorial Day Weekend for Punk Rock Bowling, y’all should come
Dammit, I’ll be in Torrance for some R & B Bowling that weekend (R&B stands for “Ruffians & Bullets”)
Zero Blitz is a stupider name than Casino Blitz
Would be nice if Nagy came up with a way to counter this Eagles’ pass rush.
Bollo…is not good rolling to his left
Turnover in 3..2…1…