They (people) are saying as of the morning time that the snow’s a’falling and will taper off during the afternoon. WHO WILL THIS FAVOR? HOW? WHY? I MUST KNOW! WILL THERE BE SLUSH? WILL SOMEONE THAT DOES’NT USUALLY WEAR GLOVES BE WEARING GLOVES?
Sorry for the rampant capitalization folks-I was just preparing you for the most important screeching queries the pre-gamers will be filling air-time with. That said, ‘snow football’ is a precious treat that doesn’t come along nearly as often as it should. Anyone remember that game where no one could see the sideline or the yard markers? I do, sorta. I recall that there were two teams involved and that one of them beat the other. God, memories… [sighs]
TO THE GAME!
Young Horsies/Old Native Americans:
As far as injuries are concerned wr Sammy Watkins is expected to parka up but safety Malik Hooker (on the hook to help tamp down the influence of Tyreek) is questionable.
The delightful A. Schefter has pointed out-as have many others-that the Colts have won as many playoff tilts at Arrowhead as have the Chiefs themselves. So there might be something to my theory that the stadium was built on an old Indian’s* Pet Cemetery Scorned Woman Wrongfully-Executed Man Burial Ground. Subscribe to my blog if you want to learn more.
I am a bit concerned that if one combines the above with Andy Reid’s playoff adventures/negative clock juju, the Chiefs might have too much going against them. The Colts have scored TD’s on their first two drives in each of their last two games but then tend to settle into the running game and let the D do the lifting the rest of the game. You and I [winks] both know that a two-score lead is nothing to a fella that tossed 50 six-pointers this past regular season. The Colts OC Nick Sirianni (why is this guy not more prominently mentioned these days?) says that his #1 job is to put up points today and he’ll most likely have to do a 40-spot ’cause them KC’ers average 35 overall.
Is the laundry folded? Okay, now you can watch the game.
*forgive the outdated nomenclature but damnit, I needed it in order to make the joke work
That field all ready looks like shit
This is glorious.
Mission Accomplished
— Dan Snyder
Think this Damien Williams is better than that dusty old KHunt ever was.
NBC playing “Applebees” commercial with the song “Lets Get it On” while having long shots of Andy Reid… too easy.
Looked like somebody threw a snowball and almost hit the punter on that one.
What would that be? Dead ball, redo? Palpably Unfair Act?
and is it subject to review?
Three nigh pickerceptions. HODOR! does not look too comfy out there, in contrast to the young’un.
just wait till late 3rd Quarter. Then we’ll know if Reid will happen.
“OH FUCK LIN ELLIOTT’S GONNA MISS ANOTHER ONE”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZbDG6FUf18
there was a GLEAM, men
Oy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uix6hnqTpj0
This one cost me money in 8th grade. All four of my divisional picks lost, fuck.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IRpJIclqEDQ
fortunately marty does not remember any of these games
I see Andy’s already well on the path for the crushing second half collapse.
which is why the clots aren’t even bothering right now
Blair Walsh the pilot
Calling my shot: Colts turnover coming up.
I was just thinking the same.
Almost. Twice, even!
Almost thrice! They did everything but turn it over.
Thrice!
turnovers? where? – Andy Reid
Luck did his best to make you a prophet that last series.
I did that rare GAMBLOR thing where I bet Villareal to score as a hedge (they tied it) and then when Getafe got up to +1199, I tossed another $25 on them.
Then Villareal had the decency to miss their injury time penno.
chuh fucking chuh!
Colts aren’t allowed to use a Horse Collar? Seems wrong.
Andy Reid coming out of a bye is legitimately terrifying.
Andy Reid coming at as bi. Equally terrifying.
I mean, he can’t see YOUR genitals during the sex act, either. Why not?
I completely forgot about that stat when making my bet. WOO!!!
Andy coming into a buffet you own is terrifying
Colts are in Pre-Season form.
ohhh man
NOW Sammy Watkins decides to play a meaningful game.
That looked easy.
looked it, was it
Was one of Mahomies’ cadences “Coach O”?
whadda wit this snow buwlshit. coach o need to get da fuck outta here
SAMMICH WATKINS!
humps completely have forgotten football
There is something I don’t like about Kelce.
I suspect he’s not that fun-loving a guy when things aren’t going well. Dunno why. Just gives me that vibe.
Exactly.
yeah, Mahomes-y looks fine in the elements
Fifty touchdowns for Mahomies? Did someone forget to tell him he’s not in the Big12 anymore?
better play intramurals, brother!!
Haven’t used a timeout yet that some discipline Reid
Found it!
https://twitter.com/madkenney/status/1084162104469393408
Nailed it.
Ugh, is this going to be one of those games where the Chiefs’ opponents forget how to do basic things like catch the goddamned ball?
let’s hope so, good #HAILGAMBLOR day so far.
Snowflake blindness, the silent killer.
Snowflakes triggering blindness smh
One of my friends just texted me, he is a Clots fan. “Snow os a huge advantage for us”
Umm you guys olay indoors.
Indoors is the proper pace to moisturize and cleanse though. In the mornings or night before you sleep.
https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/041aade1-3a9a-402b-9f41-d7203a75573b
there’s the ebron we know
Nice block by #56. O-Line trucking
FSU does the stupid chop, Duke wins on a last-second 3-pointer 20 minutes ago
Chiefs do the stupid chop….
I have to go with the Boy Horses. I’ve marched on the Colts field (my final position of my last show in High School was the center of the midfield logo), and my friend’s psycho bitch of a girlfriend is from Kansas.
Also, if you think about it, the name Chiefs is an accepted version of R*d*k*ns.
found a cool!
The Bauhaus is celebrating 100 yrs and theres gonna be some sort of celebration! I’ve never been to Germany…..
Sounds like a good excuse to check out the country and some cool design stuff……
https://www.bauhaus100.com/
Alright……ARE YOU READY FOR SOME FOOTBALLLLL!!!!!!!!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OKRJfIPiJGY
Bring back Otto Man!
“Here I am! BTW, you spelled it wrong and what’s with all the Jews around here?”
-Henry Ford
That’s what I loved about The Men Who Built America mini-docu-series. Vanderbilt, Rockerfeller, Carnegie, Morgan and even Edison came off as flawed people, but Ford came off as a bold visionary.
Well, to be fair, killing Jews was a bold choice.
Best thing about the snow it keeps the flies away from the ribs on the KC sideline.
best case scenario: chiefs/pats lose, nfl has to decide if a franchise is or isn’t worth hosting an afc title game*
*refs will do their best tomorrow in NE
Local paper complained that Bengals aren’t getting someone from the Andy Reid coaching tree. That makes me feel better about their pick.
that tree has been far better than its root lately
i really want the chiefs to win but then i’ll have to hear about Brady winning on the road next week.
worry nae, Chefs would beat NE easily in their house.
but Reid????
Reid is breaking his narrative. He’s got his QB now.
You’ve apparently forgotten the timeline.
Me: Andy Reid is an amazing head coach. He’s the best coach in Philadelphia Eagles history, and led through a golden era of unmatched success in franchise history (pending current season results). When my cousin got very ill, Andy happened to be in the hospital one day while he was there and surprised him in his room, being a shining moment in a shitty situation. It’s a moment my family will always remember.
Also me:
I’ll allow it.
Folks
So it wasn’t nefarious websites that killed my laptop, was the power connection. If I had bet on that I would have lost a lot of money.
Based on the updated Over/Under, snow is worth 2.5 points.
in THIS economy?
I love this joke.
The Cody Parkey Challenge is going exactly as well as you thought it would.
https://twitter.com/ESPNMichele/status/1084183263726522368
This game could finish with a score of 87-81 in triple overtime and it would still be a distant second to this video.
That’s the official DFO video.
Video with sound: https://giant.gfycat.com/AlienatedOpulentLhasaapso.mp4
Snowing outside. Snowing at the Playoff Game. You bet I’m eating a pint of ice cream straight from the container.
ONE OF US! ONE OF US!
(Only a pint, eh?)
[hoping that Redshirt has upgraded to Rum Raisin]
I have a weakness for Mint Cookies n’ Cream. Its the love child of my two favorite flavors.
Who got more trim that night Double J or Post?
It depends. Post didn’t have to pay for what he got.
7 minutes between plays in a basketball game?
And another timeout.
And another. Plus another review of the clock?
This is maddening.
Nuts. I was hoping this idiot would’ve eaten shit instead of just made a perfectly normal and inept kick everyone would make.
https://twitter.com/MatthewColler/status/1084184955628994561
There is one where a guy ends up on his ass but I’d have to go find it.
I’m sure there is. There always are. But this was RTed by Drew, so I feel defrauded.
Never forget that Andy once named an O-line coach his defensive coordinator
HODOR ready to SMASH!!!!!!!
YEA!!!!!
besides the possible impending yearly playoff andy reid fail (now with 100% more snow!) this is easily the funniest thing you’re gonna see today:
https://twitter.com/serenjty/status/1083900464784134144
Nice tits. Sorry, was something else going on there?
BIG tits. HUGE.
Is there really something that can track the eyes? I’d love to try that and see how I focus completely on the goodies.
Yes. That’s how some quadriplegics operate computers and other input devices.
They’re developing digital menus that can track your eye movements so they can further datamine your fucking soul and figure out how to wring more money from your bones.
Tell me more!
– A. REID
mmmmmm. Marrow.