Your “You Win Some, You Taysom” NFC Playoff Open Thread

Speaking of which, I think we should all take two years off from our current responsibilities and dig an irrigation ditch in Ghana. WHOSE WITH ME? Nobody? Fine then, I’m not going either.

TO THE GAME!

MOVE BOMBERS/YOUNG SATCHMO’S:

Do you want a super-spooky stat that will soil your undergarments once you hear it? C’mon, at least you’ll have a legit excuse for your skidmark-laden Underoos for the very first time. (Mom is such a bitch!) Okay, here goes-

The last (and first) time that the Saints won it all back in ’09 their only three losses were to the Cowboys, Bucs and Panthers. This year’s three losses have been to those exact three squadoo’s!

[waits patiently while the commentariat changes]

Something that favors them Saints is that they’ve not lost a playoff game at home since ’93. But one troubling thing I mathed is that N.O. put up 40+ points six times this year but the last time they did so was two months ago. Over the last five weeks they’ve averaged a paltry 19 per game.

One Eagler you might want to keep an eye is rook cb Avonte Maddox. He’s played nickel corner, safety and as of a few weeks ago was put at outside corner. I don’t know if he’ll cover fellow rook Tre’Quan Smith or Mike Scott but if either of them venture out into the parking lot, he’ll be there. He’s an ‘outside’ corner, you see…*

*[inner voice] You went ahead and explained your stupid joke! It feels like I don’t know you anymore.

Do that thing where you dribble inanities all over your keyboard. I love that shit!

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Gratliff

HOPE

...

Tom Brady reading Goop and putting a tiny jade football up his ass to rebalance his chakras.

Horatio Cornblower

But not eating strawberries.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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King Hippo

I guess this is why I couldn’t get a read on how to GAMBLOR this’un.

Redshirt

I feel like a kid. Everyone’s talking about Tru Detective and all I’m thinking about is Young Justice: Outsiders and the final season of My Little Pony.

King Hippo

yeah, I doubt there are any good horsey parts

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’ll be in Season 4, Truequus Detective.

herodotus450

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King Hippo

Single coverage on Michael Thomas, 3rd and 13? Interesting strategy, Cotton!

Redshirt

If I held anyone like that in real life, I’ll be arrested. If they’re a woman, I’m getting roughed up first (and rightfully so).

Gratliff

Nawt holding apparently

Redshirt

Aw, Hell. Who reminded Nick Foles that he’s really Nick Foles, Average Journeyman Quarterback?

comment image?itok=n3SY6VBP

King Hippo

oh yeah, I can watch 2 hours of Tru Detective (h/t, Son of Spam) in the morning!

Horatio Cornblower

I have a big ol’ TV boner for this True Detective season.

Mother Puncher

Loved s1. Didnt see S2. Was it as bad as everyone made it out to be.?

King Hippo

nah, it was B-minus caliber. Still worth watching, but not much more than that. Paled in comparison to the brilliant original.

Horatio Cornblower

What Hippo said. The only thing I’d add was that it felt like it was rushed to capitalize on how popular the first one was. But it was perfectly fine show, just not what the first one was.

Mother Puncher

How can such a big dick have such small dick energy

litre_cola

If they run they are dumb.

hippofant

Ah, that teenage girl in the front-row seat just texting on her phone while her parents cheer raucously, like it’s a Lakers or Knicks game or something.

herodotus450

My sources have discovered the context of her text: “This game is so fleek i cant uven, u?”
Scientists are baffled by what it might mean.

Redshirt

Future Evolved Dolphin Scientists will spend years debating the breakdown in the spoken language of the extinct Small Apes.

King Hippo

/penis reduction surgery joke

Redshirt

LBDN

Gratliff

This is Mid-Season Nick Foles

Gratliff

make up for the non-call?

fleshwound_NPG

BLEERGH determined to have at least one divisional game be at least good

Gratliff

oh nelson

Horatio Cornblower

Saints seem to have finally marched in.

...

Just remembered the time someone described Tom Brady as the male Gwyneth Paltrow and it’s blowing my mind.

Brocky

There are so many ways I could respond to that and they are all in bad taste

...

Good.

WCS

We’re all Servo when the tailgate commercial comes on..

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c8kUgHsKWJc&ab_channel=dasmervin

fleshwound_NPG

that eagles DB had a red wings tattoo so fuck him

makeitsnowondem

Mark Ingram’s jets are like Alvin Kamara’s jogging speed.

Horatio Cornblower

Is it just me or is Brees resorting to a whole lot more chuck and pray tonight?

Redshirt

Yeah, I don’t think BDN’s BD can save the Eagles now.

fleshwound_NPG

unless this is a FG drive

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Will this drive also be 12 minutes?

WCS

Someone put Gratliff and Litre Cola on suicide watch.

King Hippo

Suicide Watch would make a great vodka brand.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Good watch brand, too

LemonJello

Reality TV show?

Horatio Cornblower

They got a Super Bowl last year; they’ll be fine.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Just like the Philly fan who got Christmas tree’d by Cowboys fan in the elevator just before Xmas.

Gratliff

THis is over

Redshirt

I just downed 2/3rds a bottle of water in one gulp. I may be a bit dehydrated.

litre_cola

Just get a stop just get a stop

King Hippo

these bumblefucks might even cover

Horatio Cornblower

You just might to keep those thumbs!

Redshirt

How is that not Pass Interference in Today’s NFL?!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What the hell time zone are you in?

herodotus450

And just for the record, despite how shabby we all are, we DO all have homes. So, yeah. Nothing homeless here.

Horatio Cornblower

How is that not pass interference?

Mother Puncher

Defender has the right to try to catch the ball with his shoulder blades too

Viva La Tabula Raza

Pass not thrown by Tom Brady.

Mother Puncher

New Hardcore History?! I could have been listening to that instead of announcers

Col. Duke LaCross

Just dropped yesterday.

Gratliff

15 minutes to live

herodotus450

After eating a whole block of cheese, just follow it with a spoonful of metamucil. The perfect crime!

King Hippo

I ate a giant bowl of bison chili, then had a big glass of mango juice a few hours later. Good thing I am working from home tomorrow. And have a book.

...

Enjoy my juicy nuggets

WCS

— Peter King

King Hippo

who would be surprised to find out that $1 “meat” is really hobo?

WCS

Hookers killed by Craig James.

King Hippo

one forgets, but plain Cheerios are a pretty decent snack

Viva La Tabula Raza

At first glance, I read that as Cheetos and was like, no fucking shit. Enjoy your oatey goodness.

King Hippo

I feel almost Elway-ian

fleshwound_NPG

what the pats have done to the stillers all these years, what they did to the chargers, what the saints are doing now to the iggles

ZONE COVERAGE IS BULLSHIT

Dunstan

It’s hard to make a fast food that doesnt’ tempt me, but KFC has managed it with their Bowl O’ Crap

Horatio Cornblower
WCS

Beat me to it.

Horatio Cornblower

“I want a failure pile in a sadness bowl!”

Brick Meathook

I’ve never heard of this before and now I totally want one. I’m high.

Brick Meathook

I guess I really must tune out KFC commercials.

Dolph Ucker

What’s the longest drive ever? I mean, if you gain 20 and lose 10 on penalties, and do that all the way down the field. Get a sack here and there, make it up and get a first down, whatever. 200 yards?
/refills bowl

litre_cola

Here it comes. This has been a good game thank Bleergh. Come on BDN be the unicorn!!!

Gratliff

No fucking wayt hey’re not going to score on a back shoulder fade here

Col. Duke LaCross

Whoa

Horatio Cornblower

“I’ll show you!”
-Drew Brees

Horatio Cornblower

#75 seems to have wagered a large amount on the Eagles.

herodotus450

Wait this is still the same drive that had the touchdown called back? That was like 20 minuts ago.

Gratliff

the absolute fuck was that

Dolph Ucker

Chris Long is clearly roidy today.

King Hippo

one sees few 10+ minute FG drives

Mr. Ayo

Are they going to get 200 yards on this drive?

King Hippo

deffo 120+