Well, what a wonderful weekend it was. The Football Clippers got the thrashing they so badly deserved, Jason Garret had a fine eating of defeat, Andy Reid unhinged his jaw and started devouring the Colts early enough for the clock not to matter and Alshon Jeffery probably won’t be catching many batteries back in Philly either. With my worst possible outcome out of the way, there really isn’t a team left in the running that I wish any ill towards, with the obvious exception of the FIGHTIN’ TAWWMYS. If the Chiefs manage to make it past them, this will be the first time in a very long while that I would be happy with any of the remaining teams taking it all. From my perspective, it goes a little something like this:
- RAAAAAAMMMMM IT!
- Worst possible outcome for the Spanoi
- Will ensure any amount of traction the second team in LA may have gained in the market to be completely blown out the pipes of the Hyperion
- I will still feel a tinge of guilt for DTZM and the former St. Louis fans though
- Worst possible outcome for the Spanoi
- GUMBO GUMBO GUMBO
- Most liked actual team outcome
- I love me some Breesus and there are a lot of likeable players on this team. And they are fun to watch.
- Most liked actual team outcome
- Better Maholmes and Gardens
- Start of an AFC West dynasty?
- All I’m saying here is now that KHunt is gone, this team is also fairly likeable and has the makings of being able to dominate this division for the next few years. More great timing to continue to screw over the Spanoi.
- Start of an AFC West dynasty?
I don’t even need to talk about the last one. We all know how badly that ends.
Anywho, this is the final time this season that I’ll be combining Submissions and Results into one post. We’ll be back on our usual track going forward. And hey, you can’t fault me too much for picking one of my own again. You guys gotta #RISEANDGRIND if you want to win, so get to it!
Wild Card Results:
FAT BACK!
Philly Special Redux didn’t quite pan out as well as the first time.
I’m pretty proud that i’m the GoTo reference for anal at DFO….
It’s absolutely resume-worthy.
So that makes you sort of like the Alexei Lalas of Anal?
https://uproxx.com/sports/sports-on-tv-archers-15-greatest-sports-moments/attachment/pele-of-anal/
Really? No one?
YOU’RE NOT MY SUPERVISOR!!!
GOD DAMN IT
“TENDERS…RIBLETS…SHRIMP”
Forget Andy Reid. John Wetteland’s hard as a fucking diamond.
I haven’t seen so many Chiefs fighting over their pick of the ponies since they counted coup after Little Bighorn.
I wish I could give this more than 1 +1.
Marvin Harrison: [cocks gun]
Good work on these peeps.
Laugh all you want, distracting him with an Applebee’s menu has saved KC 2 timeouts per half.
Thank you for avenging me!
–Marcus Williams
When will they finally make facemasks that both protect and allow the husky man to eat?
hahahahaw, wipeout!
I haven’t found the sight of an aging white guy falling down so amusing since that Michael Douglas movie.
I CALL THIS PLAY ALL-22 AS NUMBER 21 IS A YARD SHORT
[any caption for this is completely unnecessary. It’s already as perfect as it’s going to get]
The complete video is here, and the music selection makes it even better.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T25tgCw6xi0&feature=youtu.be
Somewhere Bill Parcells is offending the orientals.
Normally I’d make a joke about how this looks like a bunch of zombies swarming Zeke so they can eat his brain, but we all know that is just a bunch of ridiculous made-up nonsense.
(the part about him having a brain, I mean)
When you remember that the public library doesn’t close until 7 PM.
Not pictured, Jim Irsay crying in a corner over all the “snow” being wasted on the field.
And this marks an end to my streak of (I believe) ~30 consecutive weeks of quotables selections. Gotta go to the cabin to chop some wood and train to bring more funny.
#nooffdays but nice #humblebrag
I kept that pent up longer than a well behaved 70 year old priest.
#regularbrag
Say hi to JJ Watt for us!
We’ll see if we can get Jim Nantz in here to narrate the retrospective.
Ezekiel Elliot remains steadfastly against any type of Sadie Hawkins-esque role reversals
Subtly phrased. Me likey.
“That ball was too slick. You needed me to make the catch.”
Worst Jerry Springer impersonator evar!!!
“MUST HAVE MOAR LEAD PAINT CHIPS TO POWER THROUGH THE LINE!! FEED ME!!!”
Coach totally ripped a cabbage fart that the guy behind him caught full-face and mouth open.
Dearest Mother,
The shrill, almost inhuman wailing of our opponents, these “Chiefs” has unstrung my loins. I am filled with trepidation and uncertainty. I only wish to be home in your bosom.
Yours,
Andrew
/cums
-M. Pence
Hodor? Hodor? Hodor!
Reminds me to remember to call the restaurant and reserve the entire place for my dinner with Mr. Creosote, such a lite weight, but still a great dinner companion.
I don’t see shrimp anywhere on my menu. Where’s the server, I want a new menu. Screw it, I’ll just go find one.
– Inside of Andy Reid’s head