2019 [DFO] Banner Tournament: First Round, Day 10

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo

Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn’t doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn’t happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
Senor Weaselo

Cue Blax’s comment for 10 days of first rounds. But here are those long-awaited GAMBLOR Region results.

16. “THESE PROVIDENCE FRIARS, I CALL THEM LEX STEELE BECAUSE THEY ARE PUSHING THESE TROJANS TO THE LIMIT!” BEATS 1. “I keep waiting for one big hit that causing [sic] a player’s jersey to start flashing 12:00.” 21-18

8. “My name is Bond. Denied Bond. -Paul Manafort” beats 9. “Sweden: the Dante Hicks of the World Cup” 31-10

5. “As they say in Japan, a draw is like sniffing your sister’s dirty underpants.” beats 12. “This [TNF] game is the Futurama suicide booth come to life.” 23-17

4. “Man that is messed up, and right after he [Jonathan Martin] shoots Richie Incognito, I really think we need to take his guns away from him.” beats 13. “Home ice is just a cocktail awaiting bourbon.” 28-12

6. “I can’t wait for Justify to decline the upcoming invitation to the White House.” beats 11. “I guess on a night they were honoring Snider, the Flyers fans weren’t gonna take it anymore!” 18-10

3. “Kennedys don’t retire, they die in office. Am I the only one around here who gives a shit about the rules?” beats 14. “Don’t bother sucking on that pistol. It ain’t gonna get any harder.” 19-10

7. “This Hull defense, I call them Mia Khalifa because they are letting lots of men in their backdoor to score.” beats 10. “I haven’t seen an Alonso destroy a Cassel like that since the [C]atholics reconquered Spain from the Moors.” 25-13

2. “‘…the calming effect Tony[ ]Dungy had on the high-strung quarterback.’—If only he had that calming effect on his high strung son.” beats 15. “I was going to ask what’s wrong with Vikings fans, but they’re Vikings fans. It’s self-explanatory.” 33-5

And onto today’s matchups, still in the SHAN’KHOR Region.

First Round, SHAN’KHOR Region

  • 6. “Hey England, just like went Dad went out for smokes, the World Cup ain’t coming home.” (65%, 26 Votes)
  • 11. “Bud Light is to beer what The Eagles are to music.” (35%, 14 Votes)

Total Voters: 40

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First Round, SHAN’KHOR Region

  • 14. “MLS? Is that like Lou Gehrig’s Disease? I’m glad these people are getting better though, let’s keep hoping for a cure.” (51%, 21 Votes)
  • 3. “THAT HAIL MARY PLAY I CALL IT THE DENTIST BECAUSE IT KILLED SOME LIONS FROM EXTREME LONG RANGE.” (49%, 20 Votes)

Total Voters: 41

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Do the thing with the thing thing!

Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo
Senor Weaselo plays the violin. He tucks it right under his chin. When he isn't doing that, he enjoys watching his teams (Yankees, Jets, Knicks, and Rangers), trying to ingest enough capsaicin to make himself breathe fire (it hasn't happened yet), and scheming to acquire the Bryant Park zamboni.
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WakezillaBrettFavresColonoscopyBrick MeathookKing HippoRikki-Tikki-Deadly Recent comment authors
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Wakezilla

One of the things I am “proud” of, is the fact that there are a handful of banner comments that come in response to one of mine. I’m like the ultimate setup man.

King Hippo

Gooners GAWNE wild!!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

#6 is great and all but I hate the fucking Eagles, man.

Horatio Cornblower

#11 got a raw deal with that draw.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

– Upside Down Matt Patricia after Super Bowl LII

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Sabre dance is a weird cover of safety dance

theeWeeBabySeamus

Fronkenshteen

Apparently, that’s Pierre Trudeau’s daughter in the original vid for “The Safety Dance”.
Boy, that’s a worthless fucking piece of trivia, innit?

litre_cola

Will she be our next PM once Justin gets ousted?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It depends on if Trump appoints her.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You know, that dance isn’t as safe as they said it was,” is my favorite joke in the history of everything ever. Hank Scorpio’s “have you ever seen a guy say goodbye to a shoe” bit is probably second.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well, have you?