Your “It’s All Garbage” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Free agency updates:
    • late-Monday:  
    • Tuesday: (up to 6:00PM ET)
      • CJ Mosley to the Jets for $85 million ($51 million guaranteed) over 5 years.
      • Sheldon Richardson to the Browns for three years & $36 million.
      • Three players to the Packers:
        • Za’Darius Smith – 4 years/$66 million
        • Adrian Amos – 4 years/$37 million
        • Preston Smith – 4 years/$52 million
      • Latavius Murray to the Saints – 4 years/$14.5 million  
      • John Brown and Cole Beasley to the Bills.
        • Brown – 3 years/$27 million
        • Beasley – four years/$29 million
      • James Carpenter & Jamon Brown to the Falcons.
        • Carpenter – 4 years/$$$ undisclosed before I posted
        • Brown – 3 years/$$$ undisclosed before I posted
  • Non-free agency news:
    • The Patriots placed a $2 million tender on Josh Gordon.
    • Teddy Bridgewater is staying with the Saints.
    • Ryan Shazier will remain on the Steelers payroll, with his contract “tolled” so he can go on the PUP list & gain a pension year & keep his team medical benefits.

**Ahem**

I’m sure we’ve all heard about the college cheating scandal announced today – “Operation Varsity Blues” –

with the highlight being that Aunt Becky rigged entrance exams so she could get her kid into USC.

Deadspin has all of the gory details, because – Deadspin.

As an educator, the part of this scandal that really gets me going is how the parents got their kids special-needs designation so they could get extra time on the tests.

Or, put another way…

A large part of what I have to deal with on a daily basis are kids whose parents have gotten them designations because the kids aren’t performing the way the parents expected them to. Maybe it has to do with “kids these days”, parents not actually being parents but more a “best friend”, or rises in autism designations as we learn more about the condition, but only one of those three is legitimate versus the other two. But when parents go get their kid labeled so they can get extra services (test time; special aides; exemptions) simply to get their kid an advantage, they weaken the construct of a system designed to help the legitimately needy within public education.

Most of the kids I get have been designated at one point, and experience has shown me that about half of those are utter bullshit, because the kid was more difficult than the parents could handle (because teenagers are the worst). So the parents paid a diagnostic clinic to assess their child, and LO & BEHOLD what was a simple pain-in-the-ass is now “learning disabled”.

We all know the type.

By the time they get to me, they’ve been so coddled that they actually are learning-impaired, because no one has shown them how to do work & instead done the work for them. One of my students is almost 19, and I don’t think he knows how to read – yet he’s just four courses short of graduating. And I get to be the asshole that keeps him from doing so, because I refuse to shove the kid out the door. Plus, helping a kid who’s clearly more interested in doing social media while here like that takes away from my ability to help students who have actual learning disabilities, because the 30 minutes I’d like to spend with that kid has to be split 15/15 with the other one.

I’ve got all the time in the world for the kids who need my help. It’s a shame I have to waste some of that time on kids whose parents need a good punch in the mouth.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Capitals at Penguins – 7:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet
    • Predators at Ducks – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Spurs at Mavericks – 8:00PM | TNT
    • Lakers at Bulls – 8:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Timberwolves at Nuggets – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
  • NCAA:
    • Horizon League Basketball Tournament:
      • The championship – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • ACC Basketball Tournament:
      • Boston College vs. Pittsburgh – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Northeast Basketball Tournament:
      • Fairleigh Dickinson at St. Francis (Pa.) – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Big East Women’s Basketball Tournament:
      • The championship – 8:00PM | FS1
    • Summit League Basketball Tournament:
      • The championship – 9:00PM | ESPN2
    • West Coast Basketball Tournament:
      • The championship – 9:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
      • Will we learn why Shane McMahon turned on the Miz?! Shirley?

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Unsurprisedyeah rightBeerguyrobDon TtheeWeeBabySeamus Recent comment authors
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yeah right

11:00 AM appointment tomorrow.

If I had my druthers….

Don T

The mother or father as their kid’s best friend is the issue that has brought me more distress and aggravation than anything else. Even more than my mom’s order to call her weekly.

Don T

“Yes, I want my manipulating spawn to have even LESS respect towards me”. Those parents deserve a life of toil under incompetent supervisors.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Rumors about Le’Veon to the Jets are starting to circulate. Which means he’ll end up suffering a non-contact the day after all the money becomes guaranteed.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Jets ‘l lay an egg.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m in Fort Mill, South Carolina tonight.

Wow, I apologize to Florida. This place is the biggest shithole I’ve ever seen.

Senor Weaselo

Spoken like a man who hasn’t been to Camden, New Jersey!

yeah right

What Senor said.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Bear in mind, I did stay in Foristel, Missouri a coupla years ago.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Traffic move pretty well, though.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Adrian Amos to the Packers gives me a sad

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Have some Armas

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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SonOfSpam

Like when they killed him off Good Times.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

And now for something completely different.

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King Hippo

fuck, I love this so very much

SonOfSpam

She good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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almost……. freedom……

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Someone should go over there and help him drink his sorrows away.

https://twitter.com/DrawPlayDave/status/1105634291084550144

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Me:
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King Hippo

….and I’m angry and I know that’s weak

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Senor Weaselo

“He’d still find a way to go 1-15”
Yes, this.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Russian artillery has really gone to shit since the Cold War ended.

King Hippo

Seriously, fucking Gonzaga was gonna be a 1 seed. AGAIN. It’s like the committee is Charlie Brown.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

ass 2 ass! ass 2 ASS!!!

SonOfSpam

Do you fuck heroin addict Jennifer Connolly bareback?

Philosophical question for the ages.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

was AIDS cured-ish by then?

/asking FOAR a friend

Senor Weaselo

They could’ve only won the tourney as a 16, I’ve been saying it all along, and now it’s never gonna happen.

SonOfSpam

47 points. That’s poor. Like, Arkansas-as-a-state poor.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

St Mary’s is gonna fuck around and beat Gonzaga. And since UC Irvine beat St Mary’s earlier this season, that means an automatic bid for the Anteaters.

King Hippo

there goes NC State’s play-in bid!

/NIT 1 seed WOO!!!

Senor Weaselo

When’s the last time Gonzaga didn’t win the conference tourney?
/St. John’s is gonna lose to DePaul and get a 2 seed in the NIT, and then lose in the first round since they play down to the competition

King Hippo

they have made the final all 20 years this has been a conference, apparently

SonOfSpam

Dunno, but this has gotta hurt the #1 seed argument, right? (Who the fuck knows about anything)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Santos Laguna spotted the NY Red Bulls a 2-0 lead through 72 minutes…then proceeded to score 4 times in 9 fucking minutes.

/your daily reminder that MLS is ass and will always be ass. Ass-flavoured ass, no less.

SonOfSpam

Santos Laguna Halper?
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King Hippo

oh teh sponsorship possibilities!!

Senor Weaselo

I have New Star Soccer on my phone (because I don’t need to be online for it so I can play it on the subway) and in one file I actually won the CONCACAF Champions League with an MLS team (I think Vancouver?) And then that file got deleted because they made a new update with almost-graphics.

King Hippo

good thing you gots lost of subway rides!

/reminds me of when I changed BlackBerrys (SHUT UP!!) and I had to re-install my poker game and start all the way over building my stack

Senor Weaselo

The current file, my first year I took a National Conference South team and won the FA Cup. And then got picked up by Manchester City (the old team didn’t do as bad as you’d think in Europa without me) and won three straight titles, including a Quadruple. But because non-UEFA nations get fuck-all there is no Gold Cup so the USA team didn’t cap me until the last game of the first qualifying round, as a sub. So you think the current US Lesser Footy team fucked up? The game one didn’t even make the Hex!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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King Hippo

Somewhere there is a home schooled kid who is only allowed to watch Fox News. He thinks every woman alive is a bottle blonde with a frontal lobotomy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Ah yes, the Northern Reticulated Clitgoose.

(Please note, I only know the word “reticulated” because of Lisa Simpson, so if it doesn’t work here, forgive-a-ness please.)

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

thinking about faking an injury handing off to Saquon with 14:55 left in the first quarter of Week 1 and still collecting $17 million pic.twitter.com/p0QjQxizxW

— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) March 13, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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Senor Weaselo

That is just a wonderful exchange between Ape and Rappoccio.

blaxabbath

What the hell is this Brockmire Season 2 finale?

blaxabbath

How does earnin make money without fees?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

He’s the official DFOtographer.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

This cuts deep. I had the second-largest scholarship/finaid gift of anyone in my class behind a girl who lived above me in another honors program who was an orphan who lived entirely in the foster system. I hated my time there.

the DC version of Lori Loughlin bribing USC with $500,000 to take her daughters is rich parents agreeing to pay the regular exorbitant tuition to send their dumb kids to GW

— Mike Tunison (@xmasape) March 13, 2019

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yep. Lots of people like her.

Don T

Come for the cleavage, stay for the jiggle.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, I just took a teaspoon of the cannabis oil I made. It should kick in within an hour or so. Time to get busy in the kitchen making macaroni and cheese.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

CBD oil never worked on me. I heard what I was using was really good, so idk what the problem is. I was using the max recommended dosage, too.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We’ll see how this one turns out. I made two batches, one with pure oil and the other with a water/oil mixture. The pure oil had a nice effect at a single teaspoon; hopefully the water/oil isn’t substantially different because I took the same amount.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Please stoned live blog for us. Everyone has seen my posts HAF, your turn.

*Nobody noticed any difference, since I speak in GIFiddles.

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yeah right

Well, CBD is non-psychotropic so there isn’t a highness just a deep chill.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Yeah. I definitely didn’t feel that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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