INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY
We join things in progress, as ROBERT KRAFT sits in front of the microphone telling a ribald story.
ROBERT KRAFT: …and then I say, ‘I think you’re gonna need another towel!’ [slaps desk] Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha!
DJ 3000: [off air] Good God!
PRODUCER: [punches talkback button] Ha ha ha ha! Good one, Robert. Okay, we’re off to commercial for thirty seconds. Sit tight.
The PRODUCER pretends to punch a button labeled “commercial” that is already lit. ROBERT KRAFT smiles to himself and waits patiently in the recording booth.
DJ 3000: This is even more stomach-churning than I expected.
PRODUCER: I’ll say. I can’t imagine what kind of fines we’d have racked up by now if this were actually being broadcast.
DJ 3000: Do you think the audience is going to notice five full minutes worth of car insurance ads?
PRODUCER: Nah. [punches talkback button] Okay, Robert, no more time for stories – we gotta take requests. You ready?
ROBERT KRAFT: [nods as the PRODUCER counts it down] Okay, folks, we’re back! I’m your host Robert Kraft, and it’s time for the part of Request Line where we take your requests! Today’s topic – and it’s one that is very near, and very dear to my heart, is IMPORTS. That’s right, I’m talking about imported talent. Give us a ring…[DJ 3000 starts snickering and the PRODUCER punches his arm]…and we’ll give your songs a spin. I’ll get us started with Cold War classic, “99 Luftballons” from West Germany’s own Nena.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=La4Dcd1aUcE
Editor’s note: Today’s theme is imports. We’re only accepting songs by bands that are from countries where English is not the primary language. It’s okay if the lyrics to their music are in English (example: Millencolin). Just in case anybody here is heavy into German scheissemetal let’s put a cap at 10 requests per person.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j8VPmtyLqSY
10. ??
The worst fear of the boricua man: “Tenemos que hablar” (We Have to Talk). Bad Bunny babeh! UGH
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yKY1O14_kJY
9. Spain
Celtas Cortos – “Romance de Rosabella y Domingo”, about boy-girl trans lovers.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=tmU2uRjcCv4
8. Sweden, again
My fave song from my fave band
The Hives – “You Got It All Wrong”
https://youtube.com/watch?v=pfsrjRQp8Z0
7. Québec (I NEED THIS!)
Les Breastfeeders – “Ostrogoth à Go Go”
https://youtube.com/watch?v=bNo7iakI69U
6. Panamá
Los Rabanes – “Juan apartó la religión”. A raw punk ditty about a priest who quit on Christ for alcohol. ‘Nuff said.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=yu_yvqfxhGI
5. Argentina
Babasónicos -“Orfeo” An entertainer as Orpheus. Heady shit with a loud guitar
https://youtube.com/watch?v=x6RnhIJ2oQk
4. Venezuela
Caramelos de Cianuro – “Sanitarios” About public bathroom sex #Classy
https://youtube.com/watch?v=uTDymAD6F7w
3. Colombia
Ateeciopelados – “Cuerpo”. Dat bass is boomin’
https://youtube.com/watch?v=AnIgb7b0lq4
2. México
Café Tacuba – “Olita de altamar”
https://youtube.com/watch?v=BS2vXC5hfJ0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xk0fr0Kvb_s
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOnoz-f43RI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XtP8dzrlo4E
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKQwOuTiY-A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=89w-L3aICj4
1. República Dominicana
Rita Indiana y Los Misterios – “Bajito a selva” (Jungle Lowdown). My new (for me) fave song of 2019 so far. It’s a pared abd slowed down merengue with a SICK synthesizer.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=WVtdTPztn0A
Number 10-ish.
Mexico.
Rod Gab.
One of MANY fine imports from Mexico.
Take alert! California as we know it doesn’t exist without Mexico.
I’ll stand by that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENBX_v1Po1Y
Germany. Again. But needed.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91w6Q2tytLc
Ghost are Swedish, but sing most of their songs in English with some Latin sprinkled in here and there. Been riding these weirdo’s jocks for a few years now. This song is actually called “Faith.”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvZKwvpQAUc
They good. It’s like Night Ranger for Lit. students.
And of course, the official theme song of Cartoon Network circa-2001
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NLzpXciijjA
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iDLxzNwXZpA
For whatever reason, they’ve replaced the full version of Namie Amuro’s Hide & Seek with a 1 min teaser. No idea why.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K52Pf4vDAJs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HEkerSi5Fig
Oh boy. Here we go.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N6lKT8REALw
10. Brazilian Seu Jorge with a take on Life on Mars (from the Steve Zissou movie)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JHo26IhDxx0
ah, a goodie i forgot about
9. One is French, one is German, and together they’re a great big hoax!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RdSmokR0Enk
8. BACK TO SWEDEN (Seinfeld voice: What is the deal with all the Swedes?)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWsRz3TJDEY
7. Kinda disappointed this bit of Seoul hasn’t been posted yet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9bZkp7q19f0
6. MOAR SWEDISH PLEEZ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J294A-R1Cjk
I saw these guys twice in college, both times at the request of a friend. Not that I didn’t like them, but he was much more into them than I was. They hold up decently, although there was apparently a falling out with the lead singer in 2013 and their new stuff, not so much.
Finland:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LU55Flooj3Y
I’ve had these Sweeds in my library forever, but this actually inspired me to go and listen to them again and they’re quite fucking good.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Enpt5RmHoU
Last one and this is a different take. The jazzy versions of Mack The Knife are brilliant in their own way (I still love Bobby Darin’s live version and his “What An Audience!” exclamation at the end of the tune) but here’s the original in German sung by the lyricist’s (Kurt Weill) wife (Lotte Lenya). It was meant to be jarring, ugly and cacophonous-thereby mirroring the actions of the titular fella. Give ‘er a listen…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aPG9GcykPIY
5. Netherlands
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EUV2GPas4aY
Edith Piaf-abandoned at birth, raised in her grandmother’s brothel, pregnant at 16, accused as an accessory to murder, involved in several car crashes, addicted to morphine-but that voice… Here she sings “I Regret Nothing” Btw, she’s 47 at the time of this recording
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKPvx38D4GM
One of her songs in Saving Private Ryan?
Yep.
Japanese jazz piano
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z5gWB8qM8Dw
4. France
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HL548cHH3OY
/Hippo did it!!
I’m doing this from Napa!
GO TO MICHAEL’S SOURDOUGH
http://www.michaelssourdough.com/
Mmmmm cheese skirt
https://squeezeinnhamburgers.com/
Calling this a Colombian jam seems sort of like a set up
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AW2v5Yqt84I
Quick interruption: The ESPN guys were just talking about Auburn’s spurtability. That is all.